Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine. Vol. 151, Nos. 1 & 2. Whole Nos. 916 & 917, January/February 2018

The Sofa Doll

by Barbara Cleverly

In 2016, the Washington Post said of Barbara Cleverly’s latest Joe Sandilands novel: “There are so many aspects of Diana’s Altar to celebrate, chief among them Cleverly’s intelligent characters and an agreeably labyrinthine master narrative. Adding to the fun is Cleverly’s gift for generating spirited dialogue, peppered with period slang.” Qualities also evident in this story!

* * *

In should have put her on the bonfire in the orchard. I should have seized her by a leg and an arm and hurled her into the flames with the other rubbish. I should have watched as the last remaining scraps of her substance flew up into the night sky and were caught as sparks and smuts in the tangle of apple boughs.

But I didn’t believe in Evil then. I laughed at such a medieval idea. And self-knowledge tells me I could never have done the dirty deed anyway. Destroy something of antiquity and beauty? Me? Never! My training, my finer feelings would always push me to rescue, preserve, polish up, enjoy. I’d as soon have taken a hammer to a Ming vase.

And, because Ellie Hardwick had finer feelings, a man died.

It started as a Christmas surprise. Once in a lifetime you find the perfect present. Something so deeply right for someone you’re fond of, it might as well already have his name stitched into it. Once in a lifetime — it has.

It happened a year ago, the week before Christmas. I was waiting impatiently in my car outside Tom’s antique shop until I was sure the last of his customers had left.

In a jangle of old-fashioned doorbells, shouts of laughter, and a hearty exchange of seasonal salutations they set off into the night and were well on their way down the High Street heading for the Royal George before I made my move.

I struggled across the road with my parcel clutched in front of me, peering through the holly-decked panes, trying to catch sight of the owner. Yes, there he was, slightly distorted by the oddly glamorous refraction of the ancient glass, but clearly the man I was looking for: a slender, dark-featured man in early middle age. And, thankfully, he was alone. I needed Tom’s undivided attention.

“Merry Christmas, Tom! Had a good day?” I asked automatically as the bell announced me.

“Well, it’s picked up now! Ellie! Great to see you! Here, let me help you with that.”

“No, no.” I fended off his outstretched hands. “It’s bulky but it’s light. I can manage... But — business, Tom? How’s it going?”

“Brilliantly! Best ever pre-Christmas week! That raucous lot shelled out a grand for a piece of Knox silver I paid fifty for last month! I’ve got a Boule cabinet that’ll knock your eye out coming tomorrow. And a client gasping for it.”

“Great news! And here’s another treat for you!” I put the large, shiny black box down on the counter in front of him.

“All this for me? Oh, Ellie, love — you shouldn’t have!” he said playfully.

“I didn’t. You’ll be getting your usual bottle of single malt when I’ve had a chance to wrap it.” I was teasing him but also taking out a little insurance. Suppose he didn’t like it? Suppose it was a clever fake? I couldn’t have borne the embarrassment. “There’s an object in here I’d like you to tell me about. Something rather mysterious, something crying out for your professional opinion and special insight. Something I think only you can help me with.”

“Ah-ha! A rich dollop of flattery, delivered with a nasty gleam in the eye — you must be selling!”

“Wrong! I’ve been buying! What you see in my eye is the light of feverish excitement. I got this at the Studley Court closing sale last weekend. In one of those rummage boxes left over at the end of the afternoon. You know — buyer guarantees to take the whole of the contents and cart them off by the end of the day, or else. Anything left over goes on the bonfire...”

Tom rolled his eyes theatrically.

“No! Don’t pull a silly face! I know they’re a trap, but — just for once, I did well! Lot 572, which I bid for and won, turned out to have just what I wanted: The lovely scraps of old fabric caught my attention... under them, a nice bit of lace... some Regency striped silk... but, hidden in the bottom — quite a surprise! I’d absolutely no idea she was hiding in there.”

His fingers were already running around the lid of the sleek four-foot-long piece of packaging, pulling off the quantities of sticky tape I’d sealed it with. While he worked, he chatted. “What were you doing at Studley, Ellie? Haven’t I warned you about those country-house sales? Sky-high prices! Even hard-nosed dealers like me get carried away by the ambience — the battlements, the oak panelling, the velvet voice of the fancy-pants auctioneer, the posh scented candles. You, of all people, ought to know how it works! It’s a setup! It’s all staged to soften up the punters and give them delusions of an overstuffed wallet!”

“It’s a job! I’m doing restoration and remodelling work for the new owners. I was surprised not to see you there, Tom.” I spoke hesitantly.

“Not my scene... participating in the public dismantling of a piece of local history. Ugh!” He gave an elegant shudder. “Besides, I made other, rather more discreet, arrangements before ever a hammer was raised. What exactly were you up to?”

“I was having a snoop around, trying to get a feeling for the old house before my clients impress their personality on it.”

“These new owners? Anyone we know?”

“Only from the scandal sheets. It’s the Benson couple — the he-and-she financial wizards.”

“High fliers in the City who find time to make a million and a new baby every year? Those Bensons?”

“Yes. And she has the gall to write articles on how to do it for the benefit of the rest of us clueless idiots... you know — ‘First assemble your team of nannies...’ This is their latest project: The Country Estate. I suppose all their friends have one. The angle is to be that Eloise has given it to Jasper as a Christmas present. Eloise made it clear that the first shots should show a sort of seasonal cleansing — dry rot and cobwebs being swept away, crumbling pieces of ancient furniture being carried out...”

“By pink-cheeked old duffers in aprons to the bonfire in the apple orchard?”

“You’ve got it! Eloise cleared a ten-minute window in her schedule to brief me, recommend a few nifty camera angles, and dictate a para or two of copy she’s preparing for the Country Houses Trust magazine.”

“Ouch!” said Tom with sympathy. “Not a meeting of minds, I gather?”

Tom was ambivalent about rich people. He loved them for the fleeting moments they were in his shop seductively holding platinum cards between manicured fingers; he spoke their language, understood their needs; he sometimes revealed to them needs they didn’t know they had; he made the men laugh and the women sigh. But he despised them in theory. I wasn’t surprised to hear his mocking tone: “One of those jobs!” He looked thoughtful for a moment. “I wonder if I can sell some of their old furniture back to them? Naw! Not their style, if I read them right. They’ll be after their Venetian chandeliers, the Hall of Mirrors, the Jacuzzis, the indoor swimming pool, the pony paddocks...”

I shuddered. “They haven’t asked for a Hall of Mirrors yet.”

“I’m surprised they’re not using a smart London architect.”

“Eloise has adopted Suffolk. She’s learning to like beams. She discovered on one of those ancestry sites that her great-grandmother came from Mendlesett. So she made an offer for the nearest great house that came up for sale. Along with en-suite architect. Me. Hideous scene, I know. Still, they’re intending to keep a good number of the county’s craftsmen employed and that can’t be bad. I’m getting paid and that’s not bad either! And I’m sneakily pleased to say I’ve done my bit already! A tiny, peevish gesture on behalf of the old house! I’ve rescued one precious item from the bonfire,” I said as the last bit of Sellotape came off.

Hands raised above the box lid like a priest’s over a coffin top, Tom made a dramatic pause. “Ah! My Howard Carter moment,” he said, spinning it out. “You know — ‘What do you see, Carter?... Wonderful things, your lordship...’ And here I am, being invited to unpack a miniature casket!”

“Prepare yourself, Tom! You’re closer than you think! The occupant of the box is very beautiful but — as you’ll see — very dead. How are your pathologist’s skills? Better than mine, I hope. I found it all rather puzzling... and disturbing, I have to say.”

He gave me an old-fashioned look. “Hang on a tick.” He went to the door, locked it, and turned the sign around to announce that the shop was now closed.

My sense of drama always gets the better of me. I began to peel back the layer of white tissue paper from the top to reveal the occupant. A hank of blond hair emerged, followed by a sweet face with sorrowful eyes, a face that seemed startled by its surroundings.

Tom gasped in a gratifying way and lowered his voice when he spoke: “It’s her! A sight I thought I’d never see! After all these years! Good Lord! Oh, look — she’s weeping, Ellie. Do you see? What’s that... there... glinting at the inner corners of her eyes?” His hand went out, reaching below the counter for his magnifying glass. Tom is the only man I’ve ever seen using one of these things completely naturally, without feeling the need to make a joke or pretend to be Sherlock Holmes. “Oh, now that’s clever! That’s very striking! Do you know what I think these are?”

“Just what I thought they were, probably. Diamonds. Carefully set in a papier-mâché moulding to look like tears gathering in her big grey eyes. And the rest of the face is beautifully painted.” I tugged some more of the paper away. “The style of the features, the arch of the eyebrows, the delicate touch of rouge on the cheekbone, the twist of hair about the head — it all looks Edwardian to me. Pre-First World War, at any rate. What do you think?”

Impatiently he stripped the remaining cover off, releasing an ancient scent: a cocktail of camphor, cedar-wood, and lilies. He was silent for a very long time, staring in amazement. “I know this lady.” He tore his eyes away long enough to favour me with a speculative glance. “And I’m wondering if you do? May I?”

Tom waited for my nod before he reached into the box, took her gently under the shoulders, and lifted her up.

Anyone passing by the shop and stopping to look in would have been enchanted by the scene, I thought. In an English market square, in a mellow Georgian room stuffed with small treasures gleaming and glittering in the candlelight, a handsome man was laughing up at the image of a lovely girl dressed in the ball gown of a past era. Her dress of subdued gold silk was cut to handkerchief points that fluttered about her slender ankles. On her tiny feet were high-heeled gold kid slippers and, as Tom shook her gently to straighten the folds of her dress, her feet stirred in a dance step. Tom smiled in delight and turned her round to the light. With the sudden movement, her limp right hand swung out and seemed to caress his cheek. Enchanted, he grasped the hand, holding it outstretched in his left. For an uneasy moment I thought the two were about to whirl off together in a waltz.

They were.

Tom has a wonderful baritone voice and he knows it. He also has a fine collection of old music that he sometimes turns on for atmosphere. He knows all the words to all the tunes our grannies sang and he’s a terrible showoff.

“Beautiful dreamer,” he crooned, waltzing her in his arms around a Regency escritoire,

“Wake unto me

Starlight and dewdrops

Are waiting for thee

Sounds of the rude world

Heard in the day

Led by the moonlight

Have all passed away...”

I shivered. The temperature in the shop was always kept rather low, to suit the stock, I remembered, pulling my woolly scarf tighter around my neck. I didn’t quite like the way she was looking at him. And I was startled that I’d had the thought at all. I wished he’d stop.

“She’s a sofa doll,” he said, swirling to a finish. “And a remarkably fine one. Though she needs to do some work on her reverse turn. These things were all the rage in the twenties. But this isn’t one of those run-of-the-mill sofa dolls! Oh no. She’s one of the very earliest, I’d say, judging by the clothing and the facial characteristics. The earliest, perhaps. Yes, she’s Edwardian, as you guessed, Ellie. Look, there’s something I’d like to check out for you. I think you’re in for a nice surprise!”

He handed her to me and I wished I could have thought of a more fitting term than “doll.” She wasn’t a doll. She was four feet high, about two-thirds human scale and a work of art. Her role was to languish along an elegant sofa. A conversation piece. She was never intended to be played with or even handled. Just admired and sighed over. I felt a ridiculous urge to apologise to her for daring to hold her and returned her to the box, propping her up in a sitting position, staring into the room.

The Antique Dealers’ Manual was produced and opened up on the counter, though I was certain that Tom had already identified the mystery woman. Finger on the page and eyes on the doll, he began his account:

“We have a name for her! She’s called Rosa. After her creator, Miss Rosa Blandford. And... yes... she’s the original sofa doll! The famous one! She’s been out of circulation for a long time. No one had any idea where she was. Well! As they say — you’ve come to the right shop! I’ve made quite a study of this lady over the years. Tracked her through the pages of the London Illustrated News and suchlike. Not easy — she’s never been put up for sale. I’ve discovered there’s a rather ghastly story attached to her. At least I’ve always thought it ghastly, but then I’m a man. Most women would find it very romantic, I think. Lost love, mysterious disappearances... the Dolly’s Curse, you might say! Hang on a minute, Ellie. This deserves a celebratory drink!”

He dashed off into the rear quarters and after an interval filled with clanks, chinks, whistles, and a chorus of “The Wassail Song” he returned with a silver punch jug, steaming delectably. “I’ve had this brewing on the stove in the back. For favoured customers... Old Parson Pinche’s Seventeenth-Century Receit. It’s called ‘Bishop’s Beard’ or ‘Shepherd’s Socks’... something like that. You’ll have to leave the car and I’ll walk you home. We can reel along down the hill together. But let’s do this in style! I’d be embarrassed to bring out the kitchen plastic in front of this lady.”

In great good humour, Tom selected three antique rummers from a shelf, wiped them on a linen napkin marked at £5, and set them out on the counter.

The hot punch was delicious, a traditional balance of sweetness and citrus fruit, of spices and brandy. Tom and I drank ours rather quickly and poured ourselves a second. Rosa sat curling a lip and politely ignoring the offering before her. “Milady only drinks lemonade,” I confided, joining in his game. There aren’t many men about these days who have the lightness of spirit to conjure up a dolly’s tea party at the end of a tiring day jousting with the great British public. Overbearing boors who consider their manhood in question if they don’t haggle brutally; women who flirtatiously trail impressive phrases in front of him: art gothique... art nouveau... art decorative... I’ve seen Tom’s face, inscrutable, as he watched objects he’d chosen, loved, and valued being stuffed into the backs of four-by-fours by oafs who didn’t know their arts from their elbow. I would always join Tom in one of his flights from reality. Even if we touched down in Wonderland.

“Rosa. It’s a lovely name. And was Rosa Blandford a real person? I don’t think you need to refer to your compendium to know that, do you, Tom?”

“Everyone in the trade knows her story! We all love a mystery. We’re eternally on a quest for that special long-lost object, from the Holy Grail down to Auntie Edna’s missing upper set.” He leaned to the doll, twirled an imaginary moustache, and addressed her confidentially in his dark-honey with a touch of gravel voice that oozes into a girl’s ear, setting her tympanic membrane a-quiver: “I say, Miss Rosa, would you mind awfully if I were to recount your intimate history right here in front of you? I’ll try to be discreet and spare your blushes!”

“She’s cool with that,” I said sharply as an antidote to his old-fashioned gallantry. “Let’s hear it. We’re listening.”

He started with the calculatedly inviting dip in the voice of a skilled storyteller: “Ladies — you’re to picture the glamour of the Governor’s Christmas Ball in Government House in Calcutta at the turn of the last century. The December nights are still warm and the ladies are dancing in diaphanous silken dresses. The men are overheating a bit in their starched white collars and tails or their scarlet uniforms. A lot of military men are there, paying attention to the shoals of young girls who’ve come over from England with what they unkindly called ‘the fishing fleet.’ Fishing for husbands, that is!

“But there’s one young girl who is not trawling her net in the water. She’s in the fortunate position of being already spoken for. Engaged to a handsome young cavalry captain on leave back home the previous year, she’s come out to join him in India. She’s wearing a fashionable ankle-length dress in gold which chimes with the colour of her flaxen hair, wound around her head like a crown. On a finger of her left hand she has an engagement ring. It’s a gold hoop studded all the way around with small diamonds. Like the girl who wears them, her things are tasteful, not showy. Nothing too bold. She is to be the wife of a lowly cavalry officer. In the regimented world of Indian society, she must know her place. But none, however hidebound by precedence, can disregard Rosa’s shining beauty.

“She dances every dance, mostly with her fiancé, she enjoys a glass of lemonade and perhaps an iced cream kept chill with snow from the Himalayas and then, the moment she has been waiting for has come — her captain takes her out onto the terrace. There they can enjoy the night air, the moon hanging low over the Hooghly River, the scents and sounds carried on the breeze from the nearby spice market, and there she asks him when they are to be married. He has warned her he is to be sent out on manoeuvres in the New Year, away from civilisation and up into the wilderness of the Northwest Frontier. She’s not quite certain what that is, but it sounds a jolly dangerous sort of place, all deserts and crags and ferocious tribesmen lying in ambush, armed with jezails.

“He’s silent. Ill at ease. She waits. ‘Harry, my love...’ ”

Tom turned to the doll with a raised eyebrow and an “Am I getting this right?” expression before he went on: “Disaster! Halting, deeply ashamed, Harry tells her he has no intention of marrying her in the next few weeks. Even worse — bit between his teeth now, he unburdens himself. He is at base an honest young man, unused to deception, and he can no longer deceive her. He has formed a relationship, he confesses, with a young Indian woman. He has installed her in quarters built for the purpose in his back garden — the zenana... many of the single men had one such... and if all had gone to plan he would have renounced the girl before Rosa’s arrival and sent her packing in the traditional manner. But he’s fallen deeply in love with his Indian bibi and will not give her up. And now he has a further tie: They have a young son whom he adores. This behaviour, whilst frowned upon, happens all too frequently in the masculine world of Imperial India.

“But Rosa doesn’t understand this. Virginal, unworldly Rosa. No one has ever hinted to her that such an arrangement might be possible. She learns in a few short sentences that, not only has her fiancé deceived her, he is proposing to abandon her for a native woman with whom he has been living in sin for some years.”

“But why did he ever ask her to marry him in the first place?”

“Different world, Ellie. There was a silly old rigmarole much repeated in army circles: Captains may marry, Majors should marry, Colonels must marry. Promotion. Simply that. A talented young officer would know where his duty lay if he wished to take the next step. He would have been sent back on leave for the express purpose of finding himself a suitable wife. That is: a girl of impeccable family and, for choice, one who had a private income that could supplement his army pay. If she could also have the looks of an angel, our captain must have thought he’d died and gone to heaven.”

“Rosa must have guessed as much.”

“She was deeply in love. Captain Harry was a very handsome man, by all accounts. Though I expect she came to realise she’d been used. But, for now, Rosa’s life is over. She rushes howling from the ball like a demented Cinderella. And her prince does not follow her. Sympathy and condemnation are handed out in appropriate measure to the two parties by the establishment, but nothing good can ever come of this shameful rejection.”

“She came back to England?”

“Oh yes. But she came back a changed woman. Heart and — I think probably—” He shot a hesitant glance at the doll, seeking forgiveness for what he was about to say: “mind were broken.”

“Did she ever marry?”

“No. She spent her remaining years as a spinster. But not a recluse. Rather the opposite in fact; she threw all her energies into living. Champagne... dancing at the Savoy... The Great War... Woman’s Suffrage... And she didn’t hug her grief to herself. Not Rosa’s style at all. She shared it with the world. She set it to music and danced to it! And the revenge she took on the hapless captain is the reason we’re sitting here, swigging our punch and talking hesitantly in front of her.”

Tom pointed to the doll. “Rosa Blandford made this doll with her own clever hands in her own image. This is Rosa! This is her face. What’s more, we’re seeing Rosa just as she appeared on that glittering Christmas night in Calcutta all those years ago. The dress is made from the fabric of the ball gown she wore on the fateful evening. The hair,” his words slowed, “is Rosa’s own hair!”

“Good Lord!” I said faintly.

“The tears in her eyes are indeed diamonds — they were taken from the engagement ring she no longer could wear.”

I shook my head, full of sorrow for the girl but disturbed by the fury and despair of the gesture. “I’m not sure how she thought this would help,” I said. “Having a constant reminder of the moment of your heartbreak sitting on your sofa looking at you? What a twisted idea! Unless,” I was struck by a sudden insight, “it’s a Dorian Grey painting thing but in reverse... you know... you stitch your sorrow into this image, lovely but doomed to suffer forevermore. Catharsis, would that be the word? You put it on display and then the real you is unencumbered, set free to get on with the rest of your life.”

“Sorrow? No. I think we’re looking at a much more dynamic emotion. It was stitched with hatred. A curse in every stitch. And I doubt Rosa had the subtlety a modern mind might give her credit for. This was before Freud had made such an impression. People didn’t realise they had a psyche, a superego, an id, or a complex to worry about. No, if I’m right, this was done for a much simpler motive: vengeance. She made no secret of her past. She was — I’ve said — no recluse. This girl was no Miss Havisham, to live out her days maundering about in the dark. She led a lively and sociable life with a wide circle of friends in... Mayfair, I believe. And whenever anyone visited and admired the doll, she’d tell them the story. Never failing to mention the name of her backsliding lover. The wretched man’s name was a byword and a hissing in society for years afterwards.”

“Are you going to tell me his name?”

He frowned. “Harry... Harry something. Now what was his surname? Perhaps history’s at last drawn a veil over it?”

“No. It hasn’t. She hasn’t! She’s not let him go yet. Look at this, Tom!”

I took a small piece of gilt-edged card from my bag. “It was stitched so, so carefully into a pocket on the cambric underskirt.”

Tom studied it for a moment. “It’s a dance card! Headed: The Governor’s Christmas Ball, Calcutta 1907. Good grief, Ellie! Over a hundred years ago. And she’s written in the names of all the blokes who’d booked a dance with her.” His hand began to shake with some emotion as he read. “Oh, this is heartbreaking! I don’t think I can bear it!”

“Seems to have been a popular girl! There’s a name by every dance.”

“Yes. Look at number four — the veleta — she’s dancing it with Minto, no less! Blimey! She must have been well regarded.”

“Minto?”

“Lord Minto, Governor-General of India. One of the most powerful men in the world! Curzon’s replacement. And here, tucked away in the second waltz slot there’s a brigadier general... obviously a chance to impress her fiancé’s boss.”

“You’re skating round the obvious, Tom. The name that appears against all the other dances. The man she never did dance the last waltz with: Captain Harry Langridge. Langridge. There, I’ve said his name out loud. I feel as though I’ve resurrected the poor chap.”

“You have. This man was the younger brother of the Langridge of the day... the Suffolk Langridges. The local lords of the manor. Harry didn’t inherit. In fact, I think he was only third in line to the title, but he had an impressive pedigree. A proud name.”

I looked with a sudden flash of anger at the heart-shaped face presiding over our enquiry. She was smiling into the middle distance with something very like satisfaction. No! I pulled myself up at once. The smile was my doing. It had been a mistake — an overreach to restore the mouth. I’d done my best to repair the flaking paint, happy with the way I’d replicated the original musk-rose colour. But in spite of my restraint, the sweetly curving lips had taken on a freshness, a fullness, and, I now realised, a slight upward turn at one corner which was looking very like a smile of triumph.

I had an uneasy feeling that Tom was unwilling to return the card to me. He palmed it in his large hand and looked away shiftily. I held out my hand for it and, grudgingly, he gave it back. “Poor Captain Langridge!” he said. “Not sure she should be allowed to do this to him again...”

“You know what happened to him, don’t you?”

“Well, of course, he died. And very shortly after these events. He went off with his regiment under a considerable cloud. The other officers closed ranks and ostracised him. No one objected to a bit on the side in their world, they were all at it, but what stuck in their craw was the very public way it had all come out. Affianced girl in tears running, insulted, from the ballroom... ditching this innocent English rose on account of a native girl... acknowledging his half-caste child... it simply was not acceptable.

“He didn’t commit suicide, though officers are known to have taken their own lives in such circumstances. The brandy and the loaded pistol handed to you on the terrace by a fellow officer... the steady hand under the elbow, an encouraging: ‘Good luck old man! It’s really the only way...’ But his death was very nearly suicide. Insanely brave charge on Pathan tribesmen against insuperable odds... you can imagine.” He gave a bitter laugh: “They had the decency to award him a posthumous medal for bravery.”

“And, back home, the doll was much admired and copied. Everyone had to have one.”

“That’s about right. Several have passed through my hands. But this is the one every antiquarian in the country has been keeping an eye out for! They’re always easy to shift! Low maintenance, decorative element... everybody has a sofa needing a bit of zing... I could write a book on them. Might just do that.”

I knew there was something Tom was keeping from me.

“Tom, tell me: If this is the loveliest, most sought-after of the lot, why should it end up stuffed in the bottom of a crate in Studley Court? How did it get there from Mayfair? Anything known? Oh — and tell me why anyone would want to murder this doll?”

“Did you just say — murder? A doll? Don’t be daft!”

“I did say murder. Something sinister was done to it. Something really creepy! I’ve got a pretty strong stomach but I had the shakes when I discovered it. Shall I show you?”

“Ah,” he said. “You did promise me a postmortem when you came in. Is this the moment when I snap on my purple rubber gloves? Is this autopsy time?”

I laid her out on the box lid and removed the cape from her shoulders.

Like the doll’s creator, I’m pretty nifty with a needle and I thought I’d better declare to Tom the extent of the refurbishment I’d reluctantly carried out. Restoration is just about okay with me, but not renovation. I’d rather see an honest crack or a chip in an antique object than a cack-handed repair job.

“She’d had her throat cut. That was the first of the wounds I noticed.”

He surprised me by reaching into his pocket and taking out a crisp white cotton handkerchief. Folded into quarters it was just the right size to drape over the doll’s face. Strangely, neither of us questioned this gesture. I, for one, was glad to cover the hypnotic stare of the soulful eyes.

Out came the glass again and he peered at the throat. “Nothing here but a line of very precise stitching.”

“Thank you. My stitches. This is the only wound I’ve repaired. The rest of the damage is hidden under her clothes and I’ve just left it alone. Though I would, naturally, make all good if I thought she was ever to go out into the world again. This ghastliness was plainly on view and...” Words trailed away. Anything I said from this point was going to sound like hysterical rubbish.

“And you couldn’t just leave her looking like that? Of course you couldn’t. Describe the wounds.”

“The gash from ear to ear is just the start. Cut with a knife or scissors. The worst bit was that someone had pulled the top layer of the stuffing... kapok, I think... to the surface through the wound and... and... painted it red. How sick is that!”

“A child, do you suppose? I know some pretty noxious little types who would think that was a bit of fun. They get up to much worse on their computer games.”

“Yes, I know it’s possible... but taken alongside the other injury when I found it, I was a bit suspicious. The wound I’m going to show you isn’t the sort a child would ever think of inflicting, is it? What do you think?”

I undid the row of tiny buttons down the front of the dress and peeled back both sides of the bodice, exposing her underpinnings. The gesture was immodest, I thought, and wondered where the whispered word had come from. Not my vocabulary. I was thankful the handkerchief was in place.

“You’ll note that there’s no indication on the outer layer of gold silk that there’s anything untoward. The next layer down, this delicate piece of white stuff... lawn... it’s called lawn (had I known that?)... is a camisole,” I explained. “No bras in those days. Someone has stabbed through the camisole and into the chest. At least, ‘stabbing’ isn’t the correct term. No blade made this wound.”

We stared at the gaping hole precisely in the centre of the chest. It was square in shape, about one inch by one inch. It went all the way through to the back. The paint pot had been put to use again here and the underlying stuffing had been poked out and slathered with it.

“Unless it’s matured with age, the paint was chosen with care to look like dried blood, I’d say,” Tom murmured. “Not a garish red but a brownish red. No, I don’t think a child would think of that. And the very deliberately cut shape indicates the tool used to do the job. How foul! You know what we’re looking at, Ellie?”

“I think so. But it’s such a weird thought I can’t bring myself to say it.”

“It’s a hole made in a dead body, by a stake. This is meant to represent an exorcism. It is an exorcism. Someone’s been driving out an Evil Spirit.

“I wonder what they were afraid of.” And he added, murmuring: “And I wonder if it worked.”

Down the High Street, through the velvet darkness, the church bell struck seven. We stood in silence until the last note had rolled away. I shivered and welcomed the harsh scream of a police-car siren in the distance and an outburst of seasonal revelry as a door at the George swung open and shut. “Sounds of the rude world, heard in the day...” I thought and was glad to hear them, still out there, anchoring us in the modern world.

“Who would feel so strongly about a doll that they would behave in this mad, primitive way? What kind of a nutter are we looking at?”

I didn’t seriously expect an answer, but one came.

“Any one of the five or six dead men whose lives she destroyed, any one of their wives whose life she ruined, any one of their children seeking an end to it. Or perhaps, more logically, the last in the line of her victims.”

He gathered up the punch jug with a grin. “I’ll just reheat this, shall I? There’s a good slug each left in there. We’ll need to stiffen the old sinews before we plumb the depths of Rosa’s wicked legacy.”

I glanced at Rosa, smiling her mysterious smile, pink silk arms flexed, preparing to rise up from her casket lid, and I picked up the glasses and followed him into the kitchen.

I didn’t want to be left alone with her.

“So, when Rosa died driving an ambulance two miles behind the front in the Great War, the doll, along with all her other worldly goods, came into the possession of her married sister. A year later, fighting off all his wife’s entreaties, her husband, Clement, signed on and marched off to war. He needn’t have done so. He was in a reserved occupation and a bit of a weed, frankly, but off he went. Ears ringing with her curses, most probably. Things had not been going well between them and it was suspected that, on the whole, he preferred the company to be found in the trenches on the Somme. He never returned. Rosa’s second victim?”

“I think we should start counting.”

“His wife didn’t follow her sister’s example. Violet turned her face to the wall and faded away. But before she turned, she got rid of the doll. Suddenly couldn’t abide it. She formed the peevish plan of making a gift of it to the family of the man whose treachery had inspired it.”

“Ah. Now I see where you’re going with this.”

“From Mayfair to Studley Court! Our local stately home. The family name, as you well know — and that’s really what brought you and the dolly to my door after your pocket-picking enterprise — is Langridge, or was until the main line died out and they sold up last week.”

“And is anyone surprised that they’ve died out? A pretty disastrous family latterly?”

“Do you need me to name them, the series of luckless males? Four more, as far as we know. The adulterer... the absconder... the alcoholic... one by one, they all came to no good.”

“I know the stories. But if you put yourself about in the riding, shooting, and financial worlds, you’re more likely than most to come to a sticky end.”

“I agree. But it’s been relentless. Divorce and sudden death have haunted the family ever since... ever since...”

“Rosa moved in?”

“Crazy, but it would seem so. The moment the male head of the house inherits, he seems to become mad, bad, and dead — all or any of those — in short order. And, apparently we’re not the first to whom this thought has occurred.”

“The stake man? The Dolly Killer? Someone suffering from the same mad delusions as ourselves, blamed the doll for his troubles...”

“...or hers...”

“and tried to put an end to it. Staked poor Rosa like a vampire, cut her throat, and dumped her in the bottom of some dark chest in the basement. And there she languished until I came along with my needles and resuscitated her.”

“Sounds reasonable to me.”

“I ought to have put her on the bonfire.”

He considered this for a moment. “That’s not so certain for someone of a primitive turn of mind. Releases the vengeful spirits into the air. Like sneezing when you have the flu virus, I suppose. The stake through the middle is the only sure way, I understand, for those who believe in possession or vampirism. And think of the relief it must bring to a troubled and angry soul to plunge a sharpened stake into yielding, hated flesh — or stuffing!”

“Which means she’s... er... safe now? Deactivated... rendered harmless?” I pulled myself together, hearing my querulous voice. “I can’t believe I’m saying this! She’s a doll, for goodness sake! A doll with a hole in her chest. A doll who, with a bit of careful stitchery, would fetch a good price at Sotheby’s.”

He seemed alarmed at the suggestion. “She’s your doll. I have no right to tell you how to dispose of her. But I wish you would get rid of her. Carefully. What are you intending to do with her, Ellie? Have you thought that far?” The tension in his voice revealed what a struggle it had been to say the words.

There was an intensity to his question that I understood.

“Oh yes. I have plans. Plan A and Plan B, as I call them imaginatively. B is for Benson. The new owners. My strategy is to punish the Benson couple for what I’m sure will turn out to be a disastrous renovation of a lovely old building! A sort of preemptive retribution. I thought I’d pose the doll on a sofa in the drawing room with a china dish of violet creams to hand and take her photo. I do this all the time — bring my own stuff in. You’d be surprised how often the owner finds he or she can’t live without that pair of Norwegian clogs by the back door, the Staffordshire dog doorstop... she just has to have it! The ones that don’t strike a chord I bring to you! I bet I can sneak Rosa back into her rightful setting and she’ll be welcomed with open arms.”

“And you’d have a clear conscience about doing that? You don’t fear for poor Jasper Benson? Ellie, think about this! I know he’s not a Langridge, but he’s now master of the Langridge house — the place where Rosa might have expected one day to be mistress. And he’s a man, after all.”

“Mmm... there’s some debate about that in the shark-infested seas he swims in,” I said with what I hoped was a hint of mystery. “I’ve done my background checks... spoken with those who would know.” I liked to drop the occasional reminder of my professionalism in front of Tom. “He’s not a nice man... Supercroc... is one of the kinder names they have for him behind his back. He’s armoured and he plays dirty. Not the kind to go into a tailspin at the threat of a bygone couch-potato leaking kapok in his home. But don’t worry! I would certainly tell Eloise the whole sorry — I mean, romantic — tale first. Make everything quite clear. Though I risk being taken for a superstitious idiot!”

“I don’t like it. Sell me Plan A.”

“Ah. Yes. My preferred one. Plan A...” I breathed deeply and committed myself: “...would be to give her to you, Tom. A gift. You have first refusal. She’s yours if you want her.”

Tom buttoned up the bodice with swift fingers, took the handkerchief off the lovely face, and stared down. He was tempted, I could see he was tempted, and he’s always known I was putty in his hands. He just had to say the words and I’d hand her over.

He turned to me and said: “Take her away, Ellie. You’ll think me a weed and a credulous clown, I know, but... but... I wouldn’t feel quite safe with her around.”

A year later and here I was, with awful inevitability, approaching the shop again. The shop door opened and anxiously Tom reached out and seized my box.

“Oh no! Nightmare sight! I wasn’t expecting to see the pair of you back a year on! You never dropped a hint that it was going anything but swimmingly, Ellie. What’s gone wrong?” Tom had spent much of the past year abroad, building up his foreign ventures. Far Eastern antiques had taken off and he’d made a lot of money from his jade and porcelain collections, but I’d managed to see him several times since last Christmas; we’d made some deals, shared some drinks, shared some memorable evenings. I hadn’t mentioned Rosa.

Plan B had worked like a charm. I was so cunningly persuasive I disgusted myself. But I was at least honest and straightforward. I held nothing back. I just presented the facts in a careful order.

After Eloise had exclaimed over the new decorative element she discovered reclining on the chaise longue in her conversation room and blatantly asked me how much I wanted for her, I gave her the whole story. Silly superstition and all that, I laughed dismissively, but — no — the man-hating doll was definitely not for sale. I wasn’t insured against supernaturally triggered death events. I couldn’t possibly... She couldn’t buy her and that was that.

This was not the style of bargaining Eloise was accustomed to. She became thoughtful to the point where I was expecting her to chuck me out, but I was wrong, she was just calculating the most effective way of making me change my mind.

She seized on the one argument which could have any weight with me.

“But Ellie, she’s at home here! Don’t you see it? How many men do you say she’s killed? Five, that you know of? The minx! And most of them in this very house? What a story! My friends will just love it! And imagine how you can write this up for the county magazines! Long-lost Spirit of the House, unregarded, on her way to the bonfire... Hey! Could we push that as far as ‘funeral pyre,’ do you think?... What’s that ghastly Indian custom? Suttee! That’s it! Surely there’s a link there? Until, at the last moment, someone’s sharp eyes spot her, recognise her for what she is, and reinstate her in her rightful place.”

I knew that somewhere between the thought and the printed word the “someone with the sharp eyes” would have become Eloise.

She got everything she wanted. She got the doll. But as a gift. I really didn’t have the insurance. In these litigious days caveat vendor isn’t a bad motto and I didn’t want to shoulder responsibility for the Fall of the House of Benson. In the spring she got a separation from Jasper. In his search for carcasses, gut-gobbling Supercroc met T-Rex head on in the financial swamp and it all ended in disaster, sliding into divorce, dissolution, and death by Ferrari. By the summer, Eloise had salvaged a fat slice of his fortune and had retained the house and the children. By the autumn she was enjoying regular mulchings from her new biodynamic gardener.

When I returned in early December for the final inspection, Rosa was boxed up and waiting for me.

“I thought you’d like to have her back, darling. The children don’t like her. They treat her badly. I found Hector hanging her by the neck from an apple tree the other day.” She gave me a conspiratorial grin. “And she’s done her stuff! For which I’m duly thankful. You were quite right, Ellie, she certainly doesn’t like men, does she? But I’ve grown rather fond of my new bloke and I don’t want to risk anything, so — if you wouldn’t mind? Ridiculous, I know, but there are more things in heaven and earth and all that... Hey — now here’s a thought! — have you considered hiring her out? My friend Marcia...”

“So where does this leave us, Ellie?” Tom frowned when he’d absorbed all this. “I mean you, me, and the contents of the box. Which would appear to be still armed and ticking.”

“With plan C. I’ve done a deal with some new friends of mine. Clients. Receptive, accommodating people who aren’t the least bit alarmed or shocked by the idea of superstition and elemental evil. It’s rather their thing! They’re very ready to take her in and work on her. I thought the least you could do, as it’s really all your fault when it comes down to it, is come along and carry the box for me.”

He grinned and stepped outside with me and I held Rosa while he locked up. Politely, he took the box and we stood for a moment looking up at the smart gold lettering on the green fascia above his shop:

Thomas Langridge Antiques bought and sold. London, Paris, Calcutta

“Not quite my fault! I won’t have great-grandfather’s sins visited on me! In any case, I’ve never thought that he deserved his fate. He loved his Indian family. He held true to them against custom and prejudice. He made provision for and gave his name to his little son. The boy who was my grandfather. I’ve got a photograph of Harry in uniform somewhere. I’ll show you. I look very like him.”

I remembered, a year ago, how for a fragile moment, Rosa had danced her last waltz with a man the image of her lost captain of cavalry and my heart turned to ice.

She had so nearly had him in her grasp.

I tugged the box back from him with a rush of fear and put myself protectively between them. I kept my voice steady as I asked: “And he went out in a blaze of glory, your great-grandfather? You’ve kept his medal, haven’t you?”

He nodded, eyes shining with pride or tears.

“Get in, Tom. I’ll drive. It’s not far.”

“Where are we going?”

“I’m making a second inspection of my next job. This one’s a bit different.”

“You say that about all your assignments.”

I smiled. “True. But this ancient building is St. Agatha’s. I’ve never done a nunnery before. I’m thinking Rosa will have a really terrible time there. Not a single man for miles around to work her evil on! And you, Tom, won’t be allowed to visit!”

Stick

by Doug Allyn

A two-time Edgar winner in the short-story category, Doug Allyn is also a novelist with two new titles out: The Jukebox Kings and The Lawyer Lifeguard, the latter coauthored with James Patterson. Coming up in 2017’s Best American Mystery Stories, edited by John Sandford, for the first time two brothers — Doug and Jim Allyn — have stories in the same volume, and both of their stories are from EQMM!

* * *

“Hey you! Old-timer! What you got in that sack?”

Stick Shefer winced, but kept moving. He’d spotted the punk lurking just inside the alley mouth before he crossed the street. Damn! That alley was a shortcut home and it was a cold December night. Light dusting of snow on the Detroit sidewalks, Christmas decorations in the shop windows.

The alley would save him a three-block walk. But tonight? Taking the long way around would be safer.

“Hey, I’m talkin’ to you, Pops. You with the cane and the old-timey hat. Are you deaf and lamed up both? Life’s tough, eh? It’s about to get a whole lot tougher.”

The junkie shambled out of the alley, blocking the sidewalk. Street punk, torn jeans, biker boots, denim jacket, greasy hair. Eyes like freakin’ pinwheels. Meth head.

And no way past him now. Double damn

“C’mon Pops, hand over the bag—”

As the junkie grabbed for the sack, Stick broke his nose. Didn’t even think about it. His cane lashed out with a will of its own, smashing the mugger’s face on pure reflex. He’d been using it for so long, the cane was like a part of his arm. A part that went off by itself sometimes. When it definitely shouldn’t. Like now.

The kid staggered back into the alley’s brick wall, burying his face in his hands, then staring down at his blood, spattering the snow, stunned. Then his shock blazed into crank-fired fury.

“You old bastard! I’m gonna open you up for that!”

He meant it too. Fumbling in his leather jacket, the stoner came out with a nine-inch butterfly knife that he flicked open with practiced ease. Definitely knew his way around a blade. Probably fresh out of the joint, where you get good with shivs or become a blood donor.

And this kid was really good. Pushing off the wall, he kept the blade low, close to his side, not waving it out front where Stick could get a swing at it. Twenty years ago, no problem. Wait for a serious thrust, break his freakin’ wrist. Now?

Maybe Stick was still quick enough to take this meth head.

Maybe not.

No time to wonder. The stoner slashed at him with the blade, once, twice! Driving him back. Feints, both times, but his second lunge barely missed by a hair.

Whoa! This freak was really fast! The wavering blade was flickering like lightning now, back and forth, in and out, too quick for Stick to block. The third lunge zipped past his guard, slicing through his coat and across his rib cage, opening a bloody gash. The next strike would open up his heart—

Stick threw his grocery bag at the mugger’s head! It was harmless, but the kid ducked on reflex, throwing up his free hand to protect his injured face—

And Stick hooked the punk’s ankle with the cane’s crook, jerking him off his feet, dumping him flat on his back on the sidewalk. The kid crashed down hard, but managed to keep his grip on the knife, slashing the air wildly, trying to back Stick off.

Stick stepped up instead, jamming the butt of his cane into the punk’s diaphragm to blow out his wind, doubling his knees up in agony, folding him almost in half. Still the stoked-up creep didn’t quit, so high on meth he wouldn’t feel pain till next week. Staggering up from the pavement, the punk thrust the blade out, keeping it weaving, trying to keep Stick at bay—

Bad mistake. He was slower this time. And the older man hacked him hard across the wrist, breaking the bone with an audible snap.

The stoner shrieked, and his blade went flying. Clutching his broken wing to his chest, he crumpled to his knees, then curled into a fetal position against the alley wall, moaning pitifully.

Stick eyed him a moment, making sure he was down and done. He was.

Leaning on his cane, Stick knelt and picked up the knife. Fake pearl grips, a dragon embossed on the blade. Cheap Chinese crap. The kid wasn’t Asian, but Stick couldn’t tell much else about him. Meth heads all have the same zoned-out, zombie look. Their own mothers couldn’t pick ’em out of a lineup. This kid wasn’t at all familiar, though. Definitely not from the neighborhood.

Stick hefted the blade in his palm. Decent balance and sharp as a razor. He considered cutting the kid’s throat as a warning to the next meth head who might be planning a move onto the block to rip off the locals. He glanced around for witnesses. Didn’t see any.

But he saw the light. A single red dot glowing on a box mounted over a door halfway down the alley.

Security camera. How long had that been there?

Long enough, probably. Smile, you’re on a security video...

Damn. Cameras, GPS, and online gambling? Tech was screwing up the world.

Stick gathered up his spilled groceries, then knelt beside the moaning mugger.

“Listen up, you little weasel. I walk this street every day. I know folks and they know me. If I ever see you on my block again, I’ll bust a lot more than your arm. Clear?”

The kid was too lost in misery to answer.

Stepping over him, Stick took his usual shortcut down the alley, heading home to his cold-water walkup.

But he paused under the red light, and flipped it the finger. Then he stalked off into the night, twirling his cane like Fred Astaire.

The next day, Stick spotted the cops as he was unlocking his office door. Two of them, climbing out of an unmarked car down the block. A plainclothes salt-and-pepper team, definitely headed his way. The salt he knew. Detective Dennis Decker, a paunchy bogtrotter with an endless thirst. Sell his mother for a fifth of Glenfiddich.

The pepper half? Nobody he knew. A tall, slim, brown woman, her tightly curled raven hair cropped short as a boy’s. Ducking inside, Stick quickly slid the .45 out of his shoulder rig into an office drawer, sliding it closed as they followed him in.

“Raid, old-timer,” the Irishman said, grinning. “Turn around, hands on the wall.” Decker was big, and copper-haired, crowding forty, running to fat now, watery eyes, busted veins in his cheeks and nose. Wearing a rumpled, off-the-rack Sears sport jacket.

The woman was a lot sharper, tailored suit, white blouse, cafe-au-lait complexion, street-wise eyes. She hung back, leaning against the door. Watching Decker’s play.

Easing down behind the desk, Stick faced the Irishman. “C’mon, Deck, I’m too damn old to lean on anything but my cane. Who’s your new friend?”

“Sergeant Decker told you to assume the position,” the woman said.

“I thought he was kidding. He kids a lot.”

“Not this time.”

“Look, lady, if you’re with Decker, then you’ve seen my sheet. You know I did time at Jackson Prison. Gladiator school. I don’t kiss walls. Not for Decker, not for you, not for nobody.”

“You want to do this the hard way, we can go that route,” Decker said, his boozy grin widening as he jerked a Glock 9 out of his shoulder holster, giving Stick a good look at it. “You know the drill, Shefer. Now assume the damn position. I won’t tell you again.”

Stick swallowed, feeling the savage gash along his ribs from the kid’s blade. He was in no shape to tangle with the Irishman, but he was in no mood to be pushed either. He stayed put in his chair, his eyes locked on Decker’s.

“Or what, Deck? You gonna cap a senior citizen for not moving fast enough to suit you? Seriously?”

Surprisingly, the woman shook her head, smiling. “Give it up, Sergeant. I’ve got this. Take a walk.”

“He has to learn who’s boss,” Decker snapped.

“He knows who’s boss, don’t you, Mr. Shefer?”

“Apparently you’re Deck’s boss, lady. Good for you. My lawyer has an office on Cadillac Square. He donates ten grand to the Patrolmen’s Widows Fund every Christmas. Should I be calling him?”

“No need,” she said. “Not yet, anyway. I just want to talk. I said take a walk, Sergeant Decker. Take it. And buy some mouthwash while you’re at it. You smell like you’ve been gargling scotch.”

Decker turned to go, but paused in the doorway. “Next time I tell you to do something, Pops, you’d best hop to it.”

Stick didn’t answer. It was just bluster now, and they both knew it. Decker left, slamming the door behind him.

The tall woman pulled up a chair, facing Stick across the battered desk. Didn’t say anything. Just looked at him with those brown, liquid eyes. Sizing him up. And realizing his looks were deceptive. He wore a snap-brim fedora and still dressed like swing was the thing, but he was sturdily built, as hard and durable as his cane. And likely just as dangerous. She’d seen him in action.

Stick returned the favor, looking her over as well. And just for a moment, he felt a tremor of remembrance. There was something familiar about her. He knew her from somewhere. But couldn’t bring it to mind. He leaned forward, squinting to read the name tag on her lapel. Detective Lieutenant C. Robinson. Nope. No help.

“You’re new,” he said.

“Not really. Grew up at the far end of the Corridor. Browntown, born and raised.”

“Nobody calls it Browntown nowadays, Lieutenant. Politically incorrect.”

“Hope I didn’t hurt your feelings. I’m sure you donate to the N double ACP, and have tons of black friends.”

“I don’t have friends. What do you want, lady?”

She eyed him a moment, then took a cell phone out of her jacket pocket, switched it on, and held it out to him. It showed a video of Stick, taken the night before, flipping off the security camera in the alley. “Pretty good likeness, wouldn’t you say?”

He didn’t bother to answer.

“There’s more. Three action-packed minutes of you assaulting a minor—”

“The minor had a knife.”

“Which didn’t seem to bother you a bit. You went right at him.”

“As opposed to what? Begging for mercy?”

“Some people might have. But not you. You’re an honest-to-God dinosaur, Mr. Shefer. The last Purple, some say.”

“Last — what?”

“Purple. The old Purple Gang that used to run Detroit like Capone ran Chicago, from Prohibition into the sixties. The police academy teaches a six-week course on your crew.”

“Not my crew, lady. I was just a kid in the sixties.”

“A kid who ran with the Purple Gang.”

“A few old-timers were still around back then,” Stick conceded. “The Axler brothers. Izzy Kaminski. The old-time hoods. I ran errands for ’em sometimes. A gofer. Go for smokes, go for joe. Like that.”

“Kid Stick, they called you then. There’s a story about your nickname. Got clipped by a car running from the law, broke your leg. While you were still in a cast, three thugs from the wrong side of Eight Mile braced you. You busted up all three, with your cane. The same way you wrecked that street punk last night. Do you really need that stick? Or is it an unconcealed weapon?”

“I’m a AARP member, lady. It helps me get around.”

“Really? On the security video, you aren’t limping noticeably until Baggers calls out to you. Then, you start to limp. I don’t think you really need that cane at all.”

“It came in kinda handy last night.”

“That it did,” she admitted with a tight smile, leaning back in her chair, clearly pleased about something. He had no idea what.

But her smile... For a moment, a memory fluttered in the back of his mind, almost raising its head. It was gone before he could grab it. Which made no sense. If he’d met this woman before, he damn sure wouldn’t have forgotten her. Still, that smile...

“You’re not here to bust me for the alley dance with — whoever that kid was. Are you?”

“The mugger’s name is Bernard ‘Baggers’ Gant. Mr. Gant showed up at Samaritan emergency with a broken wrist, wailing that he’d been assaulted. We checked out the security-cam video, but Mr. Gant was clearly the assailant, and was armed with a concealed weapon, namely a butterfly knife. If you’d broken both his arms, Detroit P.D. frankly couldn’t care less.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

“I’m taking a trip down memory lane. You don’t remember me, do you?”

“I... you seem familiar, but—” He raised his hands in surrender. “I got nothin’, lady. Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s been a very long time. I recognized you the moment you looked up at that security camera. But it took me half the night to remember where I knew you from.

“And where is that?”

“My grandmother’s piano. Growing up, I saw your face every day for years. My gram had a photograph of you two on her piano, dancing in some nightclub.”

“Sorry, but I don’t—” But suddenly he did. And it felt like a giant vise had clamped down over his heart.

“Mein Gott,” he murmured, “You’ve gotta be Velvet Dunbar’s granddaughter. Rita’s girl. Chantelle?”

“Score one for you, Pops. I’m amazed you remember. It’s been almost thirty years?”

“Close to it.” He shook his head, like a boxer rocked by a punch. “You had a twin brother. Robert?”

“Bobby’s an M.D. now, an obstetrician at Henry Ford.”

“Good for him.” Stick nodded, swallowing. “And you’re a cop.” He hesitated, bracing himself for an answer he truly feared. “And your grandmother? Is Velvet—?”

“Oh hell yes, she’s alive and kicking. She’s like you. Her hair’s silver and she’s maybe a step slower than she was. But not so different from when you two were — well. Whatever you were.”

“A couple,” he said, releasing a ragged breath. “We were... together almost ten years back in the day. She still has that picture of us?”

“Not on the piano, not anymore. When I was nine or ten, I asked who you were. She said she was dancing with the devil. Must have known you pretty well.”

He didn’t say anything to that.

“She put the picture away after that. I hadn’t thought of it in years, until I was scanning the surveillance video from the alley. A helluva thing. I knew I knew you from someplace. Woke up out of a sound sleep at three this morning, remembering where I’d seen you before. The white guy on Grandma Velvet’s piano. She never told me your name. But Deck recognized you. And here we are.”

“So this is what? A social call?”

“Not even close, Shefer. We’ve got you on video beating that kid. I can bust you for assault, hold you forty-eight hours without a charge, then keep you tanked for ten days if I fudge up your paperwork. You’re a loan shark, Stick. And sharks can’t afford to be off the street a day, let alone ten.”

He didn’t argue. She was right.

“But you said you guys didn’t care about what’s-his-name. So why are you here, Chantelle? What do you want?”

“Answers. To some very old questions.”

“What questions?”

“Let’s start with a big one. Are you my grandfather?”

He blinked, surprised. “No. Your mom, Rita, was maybe — twelve when Velvet and I hooked up. Rita was eighteen when she had you and your brother.”

“And you were still with my grandmother at the time?”

“And a few years after. We were together... ten years, give or take.”

“But never married? Why not? Couldn’t get past the black thing?”

“You’ve got it backwards. Velvet wouldn’t marry me. It was tough for mixed-race couples back then. She had family in the south and mixed marriages weren’t recognized there. Your grandmother was strong in the church, and she was a businesswoman, owned two hair salons—”

“Still does,” Chantelle said. “Works every day.”

“And you know what I am,” Stick said. “So did Velvet. Some stuff we got past. Other stuff — not so much.” He shrugged. “I asked her, more than once. She wouldn’t marry me.”

“Smart woman, my gram. Which brings us to this.” She slid a file folder across the desk to him.

He eyed it for a moment, then opened it, wincing at the crime-scene photo of a dead woman of color, her face brutalized by gunfire, slumped over the steering wheel of an ’88 Cadillac. He glanced the question at her.

“Detroit P.D. case file 726, September 11, 1988,” Chantelle said. “The murder of a nightclub singer, one Rita Mae Walker, thirty years ago. My mother. Velvet’s only child. She was shot to death in your car, Mr. Shefer, in the parking lot of the Fifty Grand Club on Dequindre. Which was your club at the time.”

“Not mine. Izzy K. owned the Fifty with a couple of silent partners. I had a piece, managed the place for ’em.”

“Izzy would be one Isadore Kaminski, a notorious mob figure, last boss of the Purple Gang?”

“Iz wasn’t boss of much at that point. He was an old man. Had to be pushing eighty.”

“Eighty-three, actually, but apparently still frisky. According to the record, he went missing the night my mother was murdered. A working theory of the crime had Kaminski making a move on my mom. She turned him down, he didn’t take it well. Did Isadore Kaminski murder my mother?”

“No,” he said flatly.

“You sound awfully sure.”

“I am. Izzy never made a pass at Rita or any other woman. Decker would be more Izzy’s type than your mother.”

“You’re saying Kaminski was gay? That’s not in the file.”

“I expect there’s a lot that ain’t in this file.”

“Kaminski has a long list of violent priors.”

“Hell, Iz was badass back in his day. Growing up in Motown, a gay kid learns to fight early. These were tough blocks back then, and we were tough Jewboys. From Hastings Street north on Congress, Jefferson to East Grand was all Jewish then, first or second generation. A lot of ’em came from Europe ahead of the Holocaust, made it to Motown. Paradise Valley, they called it. And in some ways, it was.”

“How so?”

“Kids played stickball in the streets, old folks could walk to the corner store after dark. Now you got security cameras every block, SWAT teams armored up like storm troopers, and this town still drops more bodies over a weekend than the Purple Gang ever did. Izzy was old-school, looked out for the neighborhood. I don’t know if Iz was still up for bedroom action, but your mom definitely wasn’t his type.”

“Were you her type?”

“What does that mean?”

“She was in your car in the club parking lot when she was shot. What was she doing there?”

“Smoking a joint, I expect. Your ma was a fine singer, but she wasn’t much more than a kid herself back then. Twenty-one or two? I got her the job at the Fifty straight out of the Abyssinian Baptist choir. Nightclub crowds can be rough sometimes. Toking a doobie between sets helped mellow her out.”

“There’s nothing about marijuana in your statement.”

“That Rita was smoking a controlled substance in my car? It must have slipped my mind.”

“The secondary theory was that the shooters were actually gunning for you, Stick. That they killed my mom by mistake.”

“That’s why your grandmother broke it off with me. Didn’t want me around you and Robert in case the shooters tried again. She blamed me for your mother’s death.”

“Was she right?”

“No. Look at the crime-scene photos, lady. Your ma’s got powder burns on her face. Rita was shot at very close range, and your ma and me couldn’t look less alike. Lanky brown chick with an afro. Squared-off Jew in a fedora? Whatever happened that night, it wasn’t by mistake.”

“Then what was it?”

“It’s an unsolved homicide, thirty years old, in a town that averages five killings a week. Why the sudden interest?”

“The victim was my mother. And according to the case file, she was like a stepdaughter to you. But you don’t seem very interested.”

“I told them detectives everything I knew at the time. It just didn’t amount to much.”

“So after my gram gave you the boot, you just wrote my mother off? Not your problem anymore?”

“It wasn’t like that. Velvet was afraid for you and your brother. She made me swear I’d back away from what happened. Wouldn’t try to get no payback for your ma. I promised her I’d let it go, leave it to the law.”

“So somebody caps my mother, in your car, outside your club, and you did what? Wiped her blood and brains off the upholstery and forgot about it?”

“I promised Velvet I’d let it go.”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” she scoffed. “Your rap sheet’s as long as my arm, Stick. Loan-sharking, bookmaking, half a dozen busts for aggravated assault with that cane, and that’s just page one. Fibbing to your girlfriend wouldn’t even make the list—”

“Velvet wasn’t my girlfriend,” he snapped. “She was — well. A lot more than that. Being a mixed-race couple was tough enough. We didn’t lie to each other, okay? About anything. We had enough to deal with without that.”

“A lover who didn’t lie?” Chantelle said, leaning back, bridging her slender fingers. “No wonder she kept your picture. But we both know a white lie can be a kindness sometimes, to someone you care for.”

“Maybe with some people,” he nodded, “not with us. Look, it was all a very long time ago. What do you want from me, Chantelle?”

“Your help,” she said simply. “Look, I don’t give a damn what you promised my gram back in the day. My mother’s death has been filed away with a hundred other unsolved homicides for almost thirty years. Her case is the reason I became a cop. But nobody’s working it anymore. Hell, even I gave up on it. Until I saw your face on video, and realized there was one last person I could question about it. Maybe the last one left who might actually know something.”

“I can’t help you.”

“Can’t? Or you won’t. Damn it, Stick, we both know you’re in The Life. Are you telling me that in all the years since her death, you’ve never heard a word about it? A rumor, a whisper? Some wino mumbling about a colored singer who got capped way back when?”

“You’re hoping a wino will break your mother’s case?”

She leaned forward in her chair, eyeing him up and down. “Realistically? I probably won’t break it at all. Most likely, it’ll go back into the cold-case file, unsolved. But before that happens? I’m gonna know every damned thing I can squeeze out of you. Maybe even the truth of what happened, maybe not. I’ll get what I can, and settle for that.”

“So... you ain’t necessarily looking to bust nobody for what happened?”

“I’m a career cop, Stick. I know the deck is stacked against closing a thirty-year-old case. But I have two kids of my own now, so I know what my gram must have gone through over my mother’s death. She deserved better. So did my mom. And you’re my last shot at this. So you’re going to help me, or I swear I’ll beat you to death with your own cane.”

He didn’t answer. Just stared at her in silence, this slim brown woman who reminded him so strongly of— He shook his head slowly.

“Damn,” he said, “you’re definitely Velvet’s granddaughter, ain’t no doubt. And you won’t need to beat me into it. But if we do this thing, I got conditions.”

“Like what?”

“Velvet never hears about—”

“Done,” Chantelle snapped. “What else?”

“After all this time, you know damn well an arrest won’t stick. So we get what we can, and let the rest of it go. Deal?”

“I can do that,” Chantelle said grimly. “I’ve made it this far without knowing. But if something solid does turn up? Don’t get in my way.”

“No problem,” he agreed. “As long as you stay out of mine.”

“I know one guy who might have answers,” Stick said. They were in Chantelle’s unmarked police car. She was driving, Stick was riding shotgun. The backseat was a steel cage.

“Thing is, I’ve got a history with the guy. A bad one. He won’t talk to me, and he’s dangerous.”

“So am I,” Chantelle said. “Who’s your snitch?”

“He ain’t a snitch, he’s in The Life. Name’s Jojo Gomez. Back in the day he was a cardsharp, professional dealer. They called him manitas de oro.

“Golden hands.” She nodded. “What am I supposed to ask him?”

“There was a poker game the night your ma got killed. Ask him about the game.”

“A game? I don’t understand.”

“Neither did the cops who investigated Rita’s death. They thought Izzy and Rita had a blowup, he did her and took off. They assumed that sooner or later Iz would show, they’d grab him up and close their case. But years passed, no Iz. So they filed Rita’s case away and moved on.”

“Did Kaminski ever come back?”

“No.”

“So they had it wrong.”

“Actually, they were maybe half right. Izzy was the last of the Purple Gang, born and raised in Paradise Valley. He should have come back.”

“Why didn’t he?”

“That’s what you’re going to ask the man with the golden hands,” Stick said. “Pull over. We’re almost there.”

“Almost where?” Chantelle asked doubtfully, looking around as she eased the car to the curb. The block was in a run-down industrial area. Most buildings were padlocked, their eyeless windows boarded up with plywood. “There’s nothing here.”

“Around the next corner, Samaritan Hospital runs a charity rehab center for junkies and winos. Jojo will be there. I’d better wait here. Maybe Jojo will talk to you, maybe not. But he definitely won’t talk to me.”

“How will I spot him?”

“You won’t have to. Just ask for Jojo. He’ll find you.”

From the street, Samaritan Halfway House looked like the rest of the buildings on the block, shuttered and abandoned. A hand-printed cardboard sign in the window identified the rehab center. It had been torn in half, duct-taped back together.

“Terrific,” Chantelle muttered as she pushed through the door. It opened into a short corridor, blocked by a battered Salvation Army desk. Two doors beyond it led into the building, but they were blind, their windows painted flat black.

A gaunt old-timer in a wheelchair glanced up from some paperwork as Chantelle entered. He was in faded denims, his full beard shot with gray, and he was writing with considerable difficulty. Both hands were brutally distorted, curled into claws.

“Help you?” he asked warily.

“I’m Detective Robinson, Detroit Metro Homicide,” Chantelle said. “I’m looking for a Jojo Gomez. Is he a patient here?”

“Jojo? Nah, not a patient,” the cripple said, opening the desk’s top drawer.

“I was told—”

Mr. Gomez runs this place,” he said, coming up with a short-barreled revolver. He held it clumsily with both hands, but had no trouble cocking it, and centering the muzzle on her heart. “Back up against the wall, lady, and keep your hands where I can see ’em.”

“Whoa, chill out, pal. I really am a police officer—”

“I said get them hands up!

“Calm down! Let me show you my police ID. What’s your problem?”

Your problem is, you wasn’t born when I still went by Jojo. I been through livin’ hell since then, and—”

He froze. Stick had edged through the darkened door behind him, and jammed the tip of his cane against Gomez’s spine.

“Don’t turn around, Jojo. Put the damn gun on the desk.”

Gomez licked his lips, then swallowed.

“Don’t even think about it,” Stick growled, prodding him hard with the cane tip. “Your golden hands ain’t near as quick as they used to be.”

“Dios,” Gomez groaned, sagging as though someone had let his air out. He placed the revolver carefully on the desk and raised his broken hands.

Picking up the piece, Chantelle flipped open the cylinder, dumped the cartridges into the wastebasket, then slid the revolver into her jacket.

“What the hell was that about?” she demanded.

“I knew you were with him,” Jojo said, his voice shaking. “Knew it soon as I heard my old name. What do you want, Stick?”

“Same as before. You’re gonna tell the lady about the game.”

“I already told you everything—”

“Now tell her!” Stick snapped, slamming his cane on the desktop so hard Gomez nearly jumped out of his chair. “Tell it from the top.”

“All right, all right! Jesus! Don’t go off on me again.”

“He won’t hurt you, Mr. Gomez,” Chantelle said. “Not as long as you tell me the truth. What do you know?”

“It, um, it was back in the eighties,” Jojo said, swallowing. “Eighty-eight, maybe? I got hired to deal a high-stakes game at the Fifty Grand Club. It was supposed to be like a... I don’t know. A peace conference or something. This Syrian crew from Ecorse were movin’ coke by the ton, wanted to expand into Paradise Valley. Izzy K. was against it, but he was an old man, didn’t have much juice anymore. So the Syrians’ boss, Cheech Maksoud, sets up this poker game to work out a deal. I dealt a lotta big games back in them days, people trusted me.”

“Their mistake,” Stick growled.

“Why a mistake?” Chantelle asked.

Gomez hesitated, but a glance at Stick changed his mind.

“That game?” Jojo sighed. “It wasn’t on the level. Maksoud wanted me to shade the deal a little, to make sure Izzy got good cards, so he keeps winning, keeps on playing. I figured there’s no harm in lettin’ the old man win a few bucks—”

“Cut the crap,” Stick said, prodding Gomez with his cane. “Tell her what happened.”

“By midnight, Mr. Kaminski is pretty wasted. Maksoud breaks up the game, and me and his number two, Joey Segundo, we walk the old man out to a car. And that’s all I know. I had nothing to do with the rest of it.”

“The rest of what?” Chantelle demanded.

“Tell her,” Stick grated. “All of it.”

“We—” Gomez swallowed hard. “Me and Joey, we get the old man out to Maksoud’s Cadillac, roll him into the backseat. Izzy’s pretty much out of it, drunk as a skunk. Then Maksoud spots this girl in a car, watching us. He tells me to check her out. So I go over there, but it was just Rita, the singer from the club. She asks me what’s up with Izzy, I say nothin’, he’s hammered is all. I waved the Syrians off, that the girl’s all right, you know? And I headed back inside. And that’s the end of it. Every damn thing I saw.” He looked up at Stick, all but cowering.

“That’s not all you heard, is it?” Stick said. “Tell her about the shooting.”

“What shooting?” Chantelle demanded.

“I don’t know about no shooting,” Jojo said. “I didn’t see nothin’, you understand? But back in the club? Maybe I heard something that could have been shots. But maybe it was a truck backfiring or something. The band was playing, so I can’t say for sure.”

“You just did.” Stick nodded. “Let’s go, Lieutenant.”

“Not yet. One more question, Mr. Gomez. You were a cardsharp before. How did you end up like this? In a wheelchair?”

Jojo glanced at Stick, his eyes glittering. “I... fell down a flight of stairs,” he said. “My bad luck.”

“Or maybe bad karma,” Stick said.

Jojo glared his hatred, but didn’t argue the point.

Afterwards, in the car, Chantelle kept glancing at him as she drove.

“What?” he asked.

“You did that to him, didn’t you? You beat him, busted him up, and put him in that chair.”

“His life did that. You run with the wrong people, bad things happen sometimes.”

“I guess you’d know.”

“Izzy didn’t drink,” he said flatly. “And the band wasn’t playing.”

“What?”

“Rita was in my car, so the band was on break. They weren’t playing. What Jojo heard was gunfire. Right after he left your ma.”

She nodded curtly, but didn’t say anything.

“And Iz never drank when he was gambling,” he went on. “He’d sip iced tea out of a brandy glass to keep a clear head. If he was wrecked, it was because somebody slipped him a mickey. Loaded his drink. Couldn’t have been the Syrians. Iz would have been watching them.”

“You think it was Gomez.”

“He had golden hands back then. Not so fast now.”

“But he already told you all this, didn’t he? A long time ago, right? When you wrecked him. Why did you bother to take me to see him, Stick? Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Because all you really know about me is that years ago, I kept company with your grandmother, who told you I was the devil. You’ve got no reason to take my word for anything. But if you’re half as smart as Velvet? I figured you’d know the truth when you heard it.”

She nodded slowly. “Gomez was telling the truth. He’s terrified of you. Because you beat him into that chair.”

“Back then, I thought he was a part of what happened,” Stick shrugged. “By the time he gave up his part of it, what he did — well. In a way, he was like your mother. In the wrong place at a real bad time.”

“He said my mom was okay when he left her. What actually happened?”

“I think you pretty much know what happened, girl.”

“I can make an educated guess,” she agreed, glancing at him. “So can you. It’s not the same as knowing.”

“After all this time, what’s the difference? Knowing might be worse.”

“Worse than what you did to Jojo? Just tell me what really happened.”

“What Jojo said happened,” Stick said evenly. “Your mother saw Gomez and them Syrians roll Izzy Kaminski into a car.”

“And Maksoud saw her,” Chantelle said, swallowing. “And you think either he or his pal walked over and shot her. Five times, point blank.”

Stick nodded. “Most likely, that’s how it was.”

“Most certainly,” she countered. “And where are they now. Maksoud and his buddy?”

“Dead, I expect.”

“How do you know that?”

“I don’t, for certain sure. But they were in the drug trade, girl. Not many dealers make it to old age.”

“Hmmph.” She pulled a cell phone out of her breast pocket, thumbing the tabs faster than he could follow, then frowning at the screen.

“Maksoud is listed as... missing,” she said. “Wanted for questioning. Since nineteen eighty-nine. What was his friend’s name? Segundo?” She was texting as she spoke. “Him too. Do you know where they are, Stick?”

“That wasn’t our deal. You wanted to know what happened. Now you do.”

“It’s not that simple. I can’t just... walk away from this now.”

“You promised you would!”

“Well, I’m taking my promise back! You’re a criminal, I’m a cop, we lie to each other every damn day, all day long. And this time, I need a little more of that honesty you and my gram were so proud of. After Jojo gave them up, did you go after Maksoud and his pal?”

He didn’t answer. Just looked away.

“Did you kill them, Stick?”

“The last time I seen Maksoud he was alive and well.”

“Do you know where he is now?”

“No. Not exactly, anyway.”

“But you do have some idea? You could find him?”

“I know — a place he used to hang around.”

“Good. Take me there.”

“Damn it, that wasn’t our deal, Chantelle! You said—”

“I know what I said! But this is more important now. Definitely more important than you. And unless you want to die of old age in a cell, Pops, you’re going to take me to them. Right now!”

The Slide-n-Ski amusement park sits atop a towering slope, among the low hills that give Warsaw Heights its name. A water slide in the summer, a ski and toboggan slope in winter months, the place was crazy busy, overrun with school kids on Christmas break, being chased by harassed nannies and barking parents.

“Christ, it’s a total mob scene,” Chantelle said, looking around in dismay as they rolled into the lot. “We can’t start anything here.”

“We aren’t here to start anything,” Stick said “We’re here to finish it. Come on.”

He bought two tickets for the chair lift, and they slid onto a bench seat as it floated past, settling back for the long climb to the top of the mount. Chantelle scanned the slopes below for danger, but saw only the opposite. Kids waiting on line at the toboggan runs, buying hot chocolate and elephant ears at fast-food kiosks.

“Do they work here?” she asked, looking around as they stepped off the seat at the top.

“No.”

“What then? Where are they?”

“I told you I’m not sure,” he said. “Down below somewhere.”

“Down the slope?”

“No,” Stick said. “Under it.”

She turned slowly to face him. “What are you saying?”

“Thirty years ago, this park didn’t exist yet,” he said, gesturing at the kids scampering around in happy chaos. “Back then it was a landfill for the city, a hundred-acre pit seventy feet deep, busy as a bus station. Garbage trucks rolling in and out every ten minutes, dumping thirty tons of trash every trip. A few years later, it wasn’t a pit no more. It was a rise, but they kept on piling up the trash, higher and higher until I guess it couldn’t hold one more gum wrapper. Then they laid sod over the pile. And made it into a big grassy mountain. Or a toboggan slide or a water slide.”

“Or a graveyard?” she asked. “What are you telling me, Stick?”

“This is where I brought them, Maksoud and Segundo. The same place they dumped Izzy K. For a few years afterward, I checked now and again, to make sure everything was copacetic. Back then, I had a rough idea where they might be. I got no clue anymore.”

She turned slowly to face him. “Just so we’re absolutely clear, you’re telling me you dumped two bodies—”

“Not bodies. I dumped them. Maksoud and Segundo. Like I said, they were alive and well when I saw ’em last. Just before I rolled ’em down into that pit. They was trussed up pretty tight with duct tape, but they were definitely still breathing. Cursing me all the way to the bottom. If you put me on one of them lie detectors, I couldn’t say for sure what happened to ’em, or where they are now. I didn’t hang around. Like I said, the garbage trucks were rolling in every few minutes to unload.”

Chantelle’s eyes widened. “You mean—?”

“They were alive when I left, Chantelle. Could be alive today, for all I know. Not too likely, though.”

“Sweet Jesus.” She stared at him, stunned. “But what about your promise? You swore to Velvet you wouldn’t go after payback.”

“For your mother,” he agreed. “But Rita wasn’t the only one who died that night. Izzy K. was an old man, the last of the Purples. And where I grew up? There were worse things to be. So if there was any payback, it wasn’t for your ma. Whatever happened was for Izzy.”

“Payback for a gangster,” she said. “Not for the colored girl?”

“Okay, maybe that was part of it,” he admitted grimly. “Rita wasn’t in The Life, Chantelle, she had nothin’ to do with it. She saw them shoulder Izzy out of that game. Had no idea who they were, or what was up. They killed her like swatting a fly.”

“And you know this for a fact?”

“Maksoud practically spat it in my face. Just before I kicked him down into the pit.”

“Dear God,” she said, turning away from him, hugging herself.

“You wanted to know what happened, Lieutenant. Now you do. Feel any better?”

She didn’t answer. Just shook her head.

“And I’m guessing you’ve had your phone switched on the whole time, recording this,” Stick continued. “So I’m busted. Right?”

She turned slowly to face him again. Reading his eyes. He had no idea what she was thinking.

“No offense, Mr. Shefer, but you said it yourself. All l really know about you is that you used to keep company with my gram, and she told me you were the devil. Plus, your rap sheet’s as long as my arm. So I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I just don’t find you to be a credible witness.” She switched off her phone. “But thank you,” she added.

“For what?”

“What you just confessed to would be a capital crime, if I believed you. As it happens, I don’t. But you took one helluva risk in telling me.”

“You had a right to know,” he shrugged. “But I got a right to a favor in return.”

“What favor?”

“You don’t tell your grandmother any of this, Chantelle. She buried your ma thirty years ago. Don’t dredge it all up again. Let it be.”

“But she blames you for my mother’s death, Stick. And blames herself even more, I think.”

“For what?”

“For dancing with the devil.”

“Maybe she was right about that part,” he said.

“No,” Chantelle said drily, “I don’t think she was. C’mon, Pops, let’s grab a chair lift. Unless you’d rather ride down on a toboggan.”

But down in the car, she turned to face him.

“I’m sorry, Stick, but I can’t keep my other promise either. About my grandmother? I can’t lie to her about this. If I had a right to know, so does she.”

“Leave it, Chantelle. It was a lifetime ago.”

“Really? Is that how it feels to you, Stick? Like the dead past? Because it damn sure doesn’t feel that way to Velvet. We never talk about my mom. She gets so torn up she can hardly speak.”

“All the more reason to let it go.”

“But that’s just it. I can’t. She can’t. Because as bad as — whatever happened was? I think it’s worse for her to believe nothing was ever done about it. She deserves the truth, that there was justice for my mother’s death. That the people who did it were punished. And the retribution was freakin’ Old Testament Biblical. An eye for an eye. She needs to know.”

“Even if the justice came from the devil?”

“You mean the devil in the picture? Dancing with my gram? Thing is, years later, I found that picture again. She didn’t throw it away. It was on her nightstand the whole time, in a reversible frame. Mom, Robert, and me on one side, you two dancing on the other. Hidden in plain sight. Smart woman, my Gram.”

“Smart enough to cut me loose.”

“Only because she was desperate to protect Robert and me. I can straighten some of this out, Stick, but you have to do the rest. She takes my kids skating in the park every Sunday after church. Talk to her. Maybe there’s no way to set this right, but at least give it a proper burial.”

She waited for his answer. And waited.

“It’s too late, Chantelle,” he said at last. “Let it be. You owe me that much.”

“I suppose I do at that,” she sighed. “Funny. I’ve seen your rap sheet, Stick. So I know how old you are. But I didn’t think of you as being old. Until now.”

She drove him back to his office, neither of them saying a word. And after she left, he sat at his battered desk watching the daylight fade. Staring at his office door. Listening to the silence.

Sunday in the park, with Christmas only a week away. A crisp winter afternoon, with new snow glistening, stray flakes drifting down. A Baptist choir in the band shell, carols rising in the icy air.

Stick was on a hill that overlooked the skating rink, nearly invisible in the shadow of an old oak. Watching as a tall, elegant woman of color, dressed primly for church, came strolling through the gate, with two little kids scampering ahead of her.

Velvet’s hair was silver now, glistening with melted snowdrops. And he realized Chantelle was right. In that moment, the thirty lost years felt like thirty lost minutes.

Sensing his gaze on her, she stopped and frowned, and looked up, shading her eyes against the snowy glare.

Then she saw him. Watching.

She didn’t react. Just stared up the hill at him for what seemed like a very long time. Then she gestured at the kids, who were already on a park bench, tying on their skates. She couldn’t leave them. But still she stood there, watching him. With her arms folded.

Waiting.

He started down the hillside to her, slowly at first, then gradually picking up his pace, feeling lighter and younger with every step, feeling the years falling away. Even the ancient ache of his limp was fading.

And as he hurried past a litter barrel—

He threw his cane away.

The Lighthouse and the Lamp

by William Dylan Powell

A winner of the Robert L. Fish Memorial Award for best short story by a new American author for his EQMM debut “Evening Gold” (2006), Houston writer William Dylan Powell has gone on to produce many more published stories, and he is working on a novel featuring the characters from the series to which this new story belongs.

* * *

Corpus Christi, Texas, 1984

I set my hardback of Life, the Universe and Everything down on the deck of David’s Fifth Margarita and clapped my hands twice. Ringo poked his head up out of his sleeping fern, yawned, and then clambered down to the galley fridge. Opening a Lone Star, he threw the cap in the trash and brought me the bottle, about a third of it foaming out.

“You’re getting better at that, buddy,” I said.

A warm breeze drifted through the boat, and I took my straw hat off for a moment — letting the sun caress my face and listening to the lapping of the water all around. Overhead I heard gulls barking, and somewhere offshore the moan of an oil tanker’s air horn. Between the hot sun and the cold beer and the gentle rocking of the boat, I’d just started slipping into napsville when I heard the thud of a car door on the beach.

I stood and stretched, noticing a sky blue Caprice Classic parked next to my Jeep. Walking up the pier, slow as winter pinesap, was a woman of at least eighty in a bright blue dress clamping a huge white summer hat to her head with one hand and holding a wicker basket in the other. She fought the wind down my private pier.

I slipped a flip-flop on my good foot and tightened my wooden leg — making my way down to give the old dear a hand.

“Hello, there!” she called from the pier. “Billy?”

The woman removed her hat to reveal a tuft of thinning white hair tied artfully in a silk handkerchief and oversized glasses that magnified her eyes comically. “Billy, is that you?”

“Is that Clarabelle Mayhew?” I shouted.

“Mind if I come aboard?” She wore a tight smile, a polite smile, but her brow was more wrinkled than her hands and she looked around as if expecting a monster to jump out at her from under the pier.

I helped her up the steps to the foredeck, where a series of chaise lounges faced the bay.

“Can I get you something to drink? A glass of water, maybe?”

Clarabelle Mayhew lived at the old lighthouse just east of me in Aransas Pass. Resident and caretaker, in fact — a strong, practical woman from West Texas I enjoyed talking to down at Benny’s Bait Shop and the St. Genevieve church on Sundays.

“Vodka,” said the woman. “If you’ve got it.” She rested the wicker basket at her feet and plopped into a chaise lounge.

Mixing her drink, I clapped my hands three times. Ringo hopped down from his fern and opened a nearby cabinet, pouring peanuts into a small bowl and setting the bowl on the table in front of Clarabelle Mayhew.

“Oh, dear,” she said, squinting through her thick glasses. “That’s quite clever.”

“Thanks,” I said, giving Ringo a worm. He sucked it into his mouth like a child eating pasta and nestled back into the leaves of his sleeping fern. “I saw a monkey in La Plata do that once and I’ve been training him ever since.”

“David’s Fifth Margarita,” she said, shielding her thick glasses from the sun and looking out over the bay. “What an interesting name for a boat. Who’s David?”

“No idea,” I said, wrapping napkins around our drinks with a pair of rubber bands and setting them on the table. “Bought it out of Houston. It’s bad luck to change a boat’s name.”

“Yes, well, as a matter of fact, it’s luck I’ve come to talk about, Billy.”

“Okay,” I said, lighting a cigaret.

Clarabelle Mayhew slugged her vodka in one long gulp — wiping her chin with her wrist. Then she let out a noise like a steam engine coming to a stop. “Have you ever made a wish, Billy?”

“Well... yeah. I guess we all have. Right? Birthday parties? Coins in fountains? That sort of thing?”

“Exactly that sort of thing,” she said, staring at me with magnified eyes big as pie plates.

“A few nights ago, I was hunting down a water leak in a storage space in the lighthouse,” Ms. Mayhew said, placing her wicker basket up on the table. “When I ran across this.”

I opened the basket. Inside was what looked like an orange vintage tea towel depicting kittens in rocking chairs sipping tea.

“Cute,” I said, not sure what else to add. “That little one is knitting his own ball of yarn.”

Clara rolled her eyes, “You sure you’re a private investigator?”

“Well, I’m not licensed if that’s what you mean.”

“This,” she said, unwrapping the towel to reveal an old-fashioned, honest-to-goodness “Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves” Persian oil lamp.

“Whoa!” I took my hat off and leaned in close. The color of an antique brass doorknob, the lamp looked like a caricature of a genie’s magic lamp — long and flat and ovular with a raised loopy handle and an elegant curved spout that accommodated the flame when lit. It smelled metallic, like I’d imagine an old suit of armor from the Knights of the Round Table would smell.

“Where on earth did you get that?” I asked.

“In the upstairs lighthouse storage room,” said Clarabelle. “When we had all that rain a few days back, I noticed I had a leak somewheres. The storage area one floor below the beacon room is where I keep lens cleaner, hollow wicks, fuel additives, and stuff. I was following the path of the water when I found this on top of an old broken fog-detector module, just sitting there, plain as day.”

She snatched the lamp back and wrapped it up in the tea towel, placing it gingerly back in the basket.

“You’d never noticed it before?” I asked, taking a drag off my cigaret. “It just appeared, you say?”

“Billy, I’ve lived in that lighthouse more than forty years now. Ever since I moved here from Midland. I think I’d know if I had a magic lamp in the attic.”

“Magic lamp,” I said, laughing.

“Magic lamp,” Clarabelle repeated, closing the lid of the wicker basket. “Billy, this here is a real-life wish-granting magic lamp, so help me God!”

I thought she was being funny calling it a magic lamp, but she looked serious as a fire ant — eyes wide, daring me to challenge her. I felt my smile fade. Not quite knowing how to proceed, I stalled by mixing us another round of drinks. I’d never actually considered the possibility that Clarabelle Mayhew might not be all there. And I was brainstorming ways to bring our chat to a close as I mixed two more vodkas and set them down on the table before us.

“I know this sounds crazy...” she said.

“No!” I insisted, rubbing the back of my neck. “Not crazy at all. And, well, it’s certainly a beautiful antiquity.”

Clarabelle sipped her vodka with a raised pinky finger, taking it slow this time around. Then she held up a finger, opening the wicker basket up again and coming out with a large, thick paper folded into fours. “The lamp was sitting on this when I found it.”

I took the paper from her and folded it flat along a side table, trying not to let the wind take it. It looked faded and stained, paled by age, but sturdy and thick like a fancy invitation. In dark, broad calligraphy the note read:

When the lighthouse is off, let the lamp burn bright Face the North Star in front of the darkened light Close your eyes and hold the flame to your beauty Say your wish thrice loud, ’tis the djinni’s duty

“Ha!” I said. “That’s fun.” I refolded the note and handed it back.

She said nothing, just stared at me with the eyes of a curious insect. Then she snatched the note back, gathered the basket, and stood with surprising speed — shuffling her way from the foredeck toward the pier.

Ringo hopped out of his fern and followed after her.

“Ms. Mayhew?” I said, following too. My peg leg knocked against the warped wood of the pier, and she mashed her hat low on her head as she marched through the wind toward her car. Sea gulls scampered away as we walked toward the beach. “Ms. Mayhew?” I called. “Did I say something to upset you?”

At her car, she put the basket with the lamp in the backseat. Then she whipped a wad of keys out of her purse and held it in front of her face — squinting to find the right one. Pausing to take a breath, she threw open the car’s trunk.

The afternoon sun caught the block of 100-dollar bills in a surreal, angelic glow. Packed and wrapped neat as an infantryman’s footlocker sat a huge block of cash that took up almost the entirety of the trunk space. The band around each pack of bills read $10,000. I started adding it in my head, then lost track.

“Well?” Ms. Mayhew said. “What do you think? Looks like magic to me.” Ringo hopped up on the bumper of the car and peeked inside.

I scanned my private beach. As usual, not a soul in sight; just the odd sandpiper or sea gull and a handful of bright purple men-of-war, washed up on the beach with their tentacles stretched in desperation. Overhead a red Coast Guard chopper flew a low approach north toward San Jose Island.

“I think you’d better get all that magic out of your car and into a bank, is what I think.”

I followed Clara Mayhew to the Bank of Texas in downtown Corpus Christi, where I helped her make a discreet deposit. Raul, the manager, was stone-faced and seemingly unimpressed when I requested that his security guard help her load and move the money inside. But he couldn’t hide the rapid pulse of the vein in his neck as she opened up the trunk of her car and revealed the money, which upon closer inspection was stacked inside four U-Haul boxes.

It was a hundred shy of one million dollars.

“I took a hundred and had breakfast at the Whataburger,” she said, “Still got ninety-seven dollars in my purse.” She patted her worn denim bag for emphasis. When she’d done with her deposit, we sat outside the bank on a wooden bench. Ringo climbed under and lay down in the shade.

For a minute, neither of us spoke; just watched two sea gulls in the parking lot fight over a French fry. “Okay, seriously,” I said, finally. “Where’d you get all that money?”

She held her hands out wide, palms up. “I done told you twice already! I wished for it, Billy. Just like the note said. I turned off the lighthouse beacon, which is a big deal actually because it’s a pain to get going again and hot as blazes in there. But I shut it off, lit the lamp and held it in front of me, faced the North Star, said my wish real loud three times, and that was it.”

“That was it?” I asked, “The money just fell out of the sky or appeared in a puff of smoke or something?”

“No, nothing happened at first. I sat there for a minute. Beans, my cat, came up there and looked out the window with me. I just sort of shrugged my shoulders and went to bed.”

“So how’d you get the money?”

“It was on my doorstep in the morning, in those boxes.”

“Okay,” I said. “So since it didn’t fall out of the sky or whatever, someone gave you the money. You just don’t know who.”

“I don’t care!” she said. “I got a magic lamp. Only reason I came to see you was on account of I didn’t want to be a little old lady alone with all that money. I sometimes get scared being all alone at my age. And let’s face it, you’re already rich. You wouldn’t steal it.”

My face grew hot. I took off my University of Texas ball cap and lit a cigarette. “But where did the money come from? I mean, what if someone wants it back?”

“It was the lamp gave it to me,” she said, her eyes daring me to prove her wrong. “And that’s not all it gave me!”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, the money was two nights ago. Last night I followed the instructions again and wished for... wished to see my sister Beatrice one last time. She died back in ’seventy-eight. Lung cancer.”

I smashed my cigaret out on the bottom of my flip-flop, blowing the last of my smoke away from us. “Did you see her again?” I asked.

“Come see for yourself.”

The speedometer in my Jeep read seventeen miles per our as I followed Clarabelle Mayhew across the Red-fish Bay Causeway. I had the top off, the sun warm on my shoulders, and Bill Anderson on the radio with “World of Make Believe.” Ringo sat on the shotgun floorboard, fur blowing in the breeze.

Under the bridge, a couple in a catamaran rode the afternoon breeze toward Hog Island. Jade green and shallow in most places, Redfish Bay was surrounded by oyster reefs and mangroves and bordered by huge patches of sea grass which lay windblown below us as if ruffled by an invisible hand.

A carload of teenagers in a Mustang honked and yelled as they blew by us at the end of the bridge, creeping down Highway 361 to the lighthouse.

Texas is about the size of Germany, but most of the coastline is relatively easy to navigate by water. So you don’t see tons of lighthouses like you do in places like Michigan, Alaska, or the Northeast. For the last one hundred years, there have been only seven.

But the lighthouse at Aransas Pass is a beaut, and one of Texas’s oldest. It’s lit for its legacy, not practicality. Predating the War Between the States, the old brown-brick tower is octagonal and squat by modern lighthouse standards. Up top, the beacon is housed in an all-glass room caged by guardrails with a small standing area around the top. In the 1860s, Confederate soldiers tried destroying the lighthouse with barrels of gunpowder, burying the giant reflector lens, so it couldn’t be used by Yankee soldiers. But they botched the job and by 1867 it was lit again. A large, yellow stilted beach house sits next to the tower.

“This isn’t the original home at this site, of course,” Clarabelle said, as she and I and Ringo stood on the porch. “The original got took many storms ago; Hurricane Celia the last back in ’seventy.”

She unlocked the front door and Ringo came face to face with an orange-and-white tabby. Clarabelle’s cat, Beans, saw Ringo and hissed, turning sideways with eyes wide as manhole covers and fur standing up like a porcupine. The cat ran into another room and we didn’t see it again the whole time we were there.

Clarabelle led me to a small breakfast area with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the Gulf of Mexico. “Have a seat,” she said, pouring water into a big red kettle and setting it to boil. Ringo climbed onto the table and helped himself to an apricot.

“Sorry,” I said. “I owe you an apricot. Monkeys aren’t big on manners.” I removed my ball cap.

She waved her hand dismissively and left the room. Came back with a large cardboard box and set it on the table. “That second night, last night, I must have fallen asleep around four or five in the morning. When I woke up I found this box on the doorstep.” It was a U-Haul moving box just like the first, filled with what looked like random bric-a-brac.

I reached into the box and picked up a black-and-white photograph in a cherrywood frame. The picture was of a woman of about twenty, taken just behind the girl’s shoulder as she looked back at the camera. Her face, delicate and fair, took up a third of the frame while in the background the crowd of people in cowboy hats and old-fashioned bolo ties watched a bull rider hang on for dear life at a crowded rodeo. Next to the woman was a group of high-school students, the boys in Midland High School letter jackets with bulldog patches on their chests and the girls with teased-up hair and beauty marks.

“I’d never seen that picture of her before,” Clarabelle said. “But that’s sure ’nuff my sister, Beatrice, back in high school. I asked to see her one more time, and there she was! All this other stuff was hers too.” I poked around a bit, uncovering stuffed animals, hairbrushes, makeup, a pink spiral notebook, and other effects. “Appeared this morning just out of the blue. So you see, Mr. Rascal, the lamp has to be magic.”

Ringo started to climb down into the box but I picked him up, his little paws leaving apricot stains on the cardboard. Clarabelle took the box off the table and poured us both a cup of strong black tea, watching my reaction with those saucer-sized glasses of hers. The slightest hint of a cataract was forming in one of her eyes and she seemed to be waiting for me to say something.

“Wow,” was all I had. I ran a hand through my hair and stared down into my tea.

“Wow is right. This is going to change everything for me. I’ve got money. I can do whatever I want. Just wish for whatever I want. I don’t know, maybe... go and do with friends.”

I never saw Clarabelle with any friends, which was probably why she was always at the bait shop and church — and maybe why she was so ready to believe in genies. But that wasn’t really any of my business. What was my business, now that I’d gotten involved, was the fact that somebody was messing with this poor old lady for some reason. Though, granted, most people wouldn’t mind being messed with in a million-dollar kind of way.

I sipped my tea; it smelled earthy, tasted strong and bitter. Clarabelle refilled my cup. We sat in silence for a while, she staring at the picture of her sister and me listening to the tick-tock of an old-fashioned cuckoo clock on the wall.

My head was light after the day’s sun and alcohol, and it felt good to help my brain settle with the combination of caffeine and silence. Get some bearings. Ringo climbed into the box of Clarabelle’s sister’s things and went to sleep. I gazed out the window at the grey-green Gulf and the off-white foam rolling into the beach.

Now, there clearly are no such things as genies. Right? But what harm is it that somebody’s giving little old bespectacled Clarabelle Mayhew a bunch of money and gifts? Oddly specific gifts, granted.

“You know,” I said, “my father used to say there was no such thing as a free lunch. And he was a lawyer. Those guys always stick someone else with the bill.”

Clarabelle shrugged. “Hard to complain about this kind of free lunch.”

“Okay, think about it this way,” I tried again. “Say this wasn’t a genie and it had to be someone you knew. Who could it be? If you just had to guess?”

She set the photo down and placed her hands in her lap. “That’s just it, Billy. I... I don’t have anyone. We moved here forty years ago, and we kept to ourselves. Paul died fifteen years ago of a heart attack in the night. I don’t think you ever met him; he was a machinist at Texas Petroleum. I didn’t have any family left after Beatrice and Paul had gone, and if I had they’d all be back in West Texas. I haven’t been back to Midland for forty years. There’s just... me.” She sat, blinking behind her giant glasses. Her tone wasn’t regretful but matter-of-fact.

“Can I see the lighthouse?” I asked. “You stay here,” I told Ringo, who never bothered getting up but just sat in the box licking the apricot juice off of his paws.

We stepped down the back stairs and past a flagpole where the six flags of Texas all flew — the American flag at the top — for the short walk to the light tower itself. A long, low storage building served as an adjunct to the lighthouse, and a small guesthouse was tucked into the far end of the pier.

I put my hand at the small of Ms. Mayhew’s back as she pointed her silver head into the wind and shuffled across the worn decking. The wind parted her thin white hair to reveal liver spots; the thought of this old dear climbing around a lighthouse fixing things on her own at all hours made my stomach queasy. A raised walkway connected the house and light tower, leading to a tall and narrow wooden door with a small diamond-shaped window.

The door creaked as we stepped inside, the creak echoing up the spiral staircase and sending shivers up my spine. I expected Clarabelle to climb the ancient metal stairs slowly, but she darted upwards two at a time and left me in the dust. I’m used to the old wooden leg, had grown to love it, even. But while walking with it didn’t bother me, stairs were always a bear. I stopped to rest several times, pausing to look out the small, square window halfway up. A huge blue heron loped by the window as I peeked out.

At the top of the stairs was a small hatch necessitating getting on your knees to crawl through. By the time I’d wiggled through and propped myself up on one leg, Clarabelle stood tightening a screw under a small shelf — the room’s only comforting feature. Even up here, she kept busy.

Clarabelle smiled as I made my way into the small space, setting the screwdriver down on the shelf upon which also sat a flashlight, a pair of binoculars, and a thermos. The choppy Gulf waters past the channel were dotted with boats and white-caps, and the beacon room’s floor-to-ceiling glass made for a great view.

“This is where the action is,” she said. “This here was always an American lighthouse. Them up at Bolivar and Matagorda were built by the Republic of Texas when it was its own country. But this here is one hundred percent U.S. of A.”

When I’d caught my breath, I took a minute to enjoy the view. The lighthouse was actually off of a small tributary just inland of the Lydia Ann Channel, about a half-mile with low-growing salt marsh on either side, the green reminding me of the clover-covered grass of County Cork, Ireland, when my father took me along on a business trip; I was about nine. I remembered him telling me that our warm air from the Gulf was what made Ireland’s green possible. I thought he had the answers to everything.

A pair of binoculars sat on a low ledge in the beacon room, and I scanned the area around the lighthouse itself. A man in waders gigged flounders down the beach, while farther out in the channel a tugboat pushed a pair of empty barges up toward Aransas Bay. On the channel you could see a few remote houses, generous and expensive looking, to both the north and south. An old wrecked shrimp boat to the north of the lighthouse was being swallowed by the sand — its bow lifting up and starboard as if sinking in rough waters.

“And this is where you made the wish?” I asked.

“I stood right here,” she said, taking her place in front of the light. “I just said what I wanted loud three times, and... well... voilà!”

The floor was made of thick stone, the old wood of the room freshly painted; cool and moist to the touch. There was no electricity, nowhere to hide anything or any person. Just a big light in the center, glass on the outside, and a small shelf. I looked under the shelf; two ladybugs crawled across the bottom.

I stepped out of the tiny beacon room and stood along the outer caged ledge of the upper lighthouse deck, lit a cigaret, and took another look around. Clarabelle followed, tightening the knot in the scarf around her head in the breeze; together we looked out over the water and the beach around the lighthouse. She took my hand. Patted it. Her fingers were cold and felt like worn parchment.

“You’ve been so sweet to spend the day with me,” she said. “It’s nice for me and Beans to have company for a change, but without all that money lying around I feel a lot safer. You don’t have to hang around.”

“But aren’t you curious?” I said. “I mean, you’ve just received a life-changing amount of money. Doesn’t that scare you, not knowing where it came from?” Drug dealers came to mind, but I didn’t want to scare her mentioning that.

“It came from the lamp, and that’s all I need to know.”

“I’m assuming you’re going to make another wish tonight?” I asked.

She nodded, her Coke-bottle glasses focused far away on the horizon.

“And what are you going to wish for this time?” I asked.

She shook her head. “Nope. If you say it then it won’t come true. Isn’t that the way wishes work? I didn’t tell the last two to anyone and now I don’t have to ever work a day in my life if I don’t want to.”

“Right. Well, can’t fault you there. Would you humor me in something?” I asked.

“What?”

“Can I be there when you make tonight’s wish?” I said. “I’ll leave just after midnight.”

Clarabelle took off her huge glasses and cleaned them on her dress; replaced them. “I know this seems silly, but I don’t... I don’t want anything to mess up,” she said. “I mean, really, this is the best thing that’s happened to me since I was named homecoming queen back in Midland.”

She was quiet a full minute before nodding. “If you stay down by the house while I make my wish up in the lighthouse, then okay. I’ll make up the guesthouse for you. You won’t want to drive home so late.”

“Deal,” I said, squeezing her hand as we creaked our way back down the lighthouse stairs.

When Ringo and I arrived back later that night, the tower’s light could be seen for miles, and I swore I felt the heat of its beacon even on the beach below. Clarabelle Mayhew came to the door in a gold evening dress with a bright red hibiscus blossom tucked behind her ear and held in place by her glasses. She had a formal place setting for three out in the dining room, complete with fine crystal, and we tucked into a plate of red snapper with grits and corn tortillas.

We made small talk and cracked open a bottle of sangria I’d brought. Talked about her late husband, my former life as a police officer, life on the Texas coast, President Reagan, and the space shuttle. I told her the story of my leg. Ringo looked for the cat, Beans, and stole more apricots, along with a few plums, from the bowl on Clarabelle’s breakfast table.

Before I knew it, midnight approached and Clarabelle excused herself from the table, then came back and set the lamp between us. It caught the light of the candles and shimmered like a thousand gold coins in a chest of pirate treasure. Somehow the lamp changed the feel of the room, seemed to lower the barometric pressure.

I’d filled a small crystal ashtray with butts already, and the dinner dishes, as well as three empty bottles, were gathered around us like a Thanksgiving feast. Ringo had found a potted ficus and snuggled down for a nap.

At ten till midnight, we stepped out into the Texas night under a full moon. Out in the channel an oil tanker crept toward the refineries in Corpus, and a group of yellow-crowned night herons picked shellfish out of the shallows near the old beached shrimp boat.

I asked for the keys to the guesthouse and storage shed, doing an abridged version of the room-clearing procedure I’d learned at the police academy. Nobody else on the property. She was adamant about my not being in the lighthouse when she made her next wish, so I stayed below as she made her way up the light-tower steps.

Lighting a cigaret, I paced the porch of the beach house, pulled out my binoculars, and scanned the lighthouse and surrounding beach. Clarabelle shut off the light tower and walked to the north side of the beacon. I walked down to the beach so I could see her facing north, glimpsing the dim light of the lamp and just making out the soft glow on her distant face up on high. Her lips were moving.

The windows of the distant homes up and down the channel were dark without exception. And the only lights outside of the full moon were the oil tanker sliding by in the channel and the distant flaring of an offshore oil rig — itself lit up like a magic lamp making millionaires out of random people.

I stood and smoked, listening to the crickets and bullfrogs in the marsh around the beach and the popping of the flags in the wind. Glanced at my watch: 12:01 A.M.

Looking up at the lighthouse, I saw the light of the lamp glow faintly before Clarabelle’s face in the window of the beacon house. As I stood staring, movement caught the corner of my eye.

Out by the sunken shrimp boat to the north, a group of herons took flight. I raised the binoculars. Inside the shrimp boat, a pair of eyes seemed to glow back at me in the moonlight. Looking more carefully, I realized it was another pair of binoculars.

I ran.

Well, did my best to run. Between the soggy sand, the wine, and my bum leg, it was slow going but I did my best — more like a speed limp — throwing my arms into it and breathing hard and fast. About a hundred yards out, the glowing eyes of the binoculars within the boat’s window disappeared. As I neared, a figure leapt from the boat’s cabin and towards a patch of reeds.

“Stop!” I said, trying my best for the command voice they’d taught me at the academy. The figure ignored me, moving up the beach not much faster than I — it too with a profound limp. The creature loomed huge in the moonlight, moving with the exaggerated lope of a monster from a fifties horror matinée and sporting hairy arms with a shiny bald head.

“Wait up!” I said. The beast ignored me. “I don’t think either of us is that good at running,” I panted, as the figure crept toward the reeds. Putting on a final burst of speed I pushed with all my might, feeling my good leg burn and knowing I couldn’t sustain my balance. I reached the looming figure right at the edge of the reeds and as my balance failed me, I collapsed upon it and clung to its legs like a drowning man on floating timber.

We both hit the sand with a wheezing sound, the beach never as soft as it looks when you fall right on it. I felt greasy denim and smelled aftershave and chewing tobacco. A huge hand wrapped around my face and shoved me away. The last thing I saw was a pale fist coming fast in the moonlight, a bright, white pain ushering me into nothingness.

I awoke to a screaming teakettle. My head was a jackhammer as I sat up in Clarabelle Mayhew’s front room. I lay on a long, lime-green divan with tiny yellow flowers sewn into the fabric. Ringo sat next to me, sniffing my eye. Clarabelle scurried away and came back with a cup of tea. “I put some bourbon in it,” she said. “To ease the pain a bit.”

The clock on the wall read 7:04 in the morning. Sunlight blazed through the front windows, piercing my brain. My left eye felt hot and swollen.

“What in the world happened?” she asked.

I told her about the man in the old boat, the brief chase.

“Did you find anything on your doorstep this morning?” I asked. “After you made your wish?”

“Yeah, you,” she said. “I made my wish, came downstairs, and went looking for you. About twenty minutes later the doorbell rang. I got up and you was just lyin’ there.”

“So that’s it? What did you wish for?”

Her face flushed. “Well, that’s private now, ain’t it? I’ll go get something for that eye,” she said, leaving the room. As I closed my eyes and listened to her rummage in the refrigerator, there was a knock at the door so loud I cradled my head in both hands. I couldn’t tell if it was the wine or the punch by the Creature from the Black Lagoon that tortured my cranium most.

I swung my legs off the divan and wobbled my way to the front door. When I opened it, a man the size of an oil tanker stood before me — a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue in the other. A gray felt cowboy hat covered his bald head.

The man handed me the whiskey, then put a fist to his chest — moving it in a circle around his heart. He wore an expensive grey Western-cut suit with a turquoise-and-silver bolo tie and stood about six foot five; even at about eighty years old. His dark, wrinkled skin looked like the leather seats in an old farm truck and an oversized hearing aid protruded from each ear.

“Can I help you?” I asked.

The man handed me the whiskey, setting the flowers down on the wooden deck. He took a small leather notepad and black Mont Blanc pen out of his inside jacket pocket. Sorry about the eye, young man, he scribbled, showing me the pad.

I’d been beat up by an old man. A very old, yet admittedly large, man. “Ah,” was all I could manage, smiling and putting my palm to my eye involuntarily. His hearing impairment would explain why the man hadn’t responded to my calling out to him. But not why he was spying on us. Or why he punched me like a drunken merchant marine.

I snatched the pad and pen from him and wrote: Were you holding a roll of quarters or something? He chuckled and held up his right hand, which sported a Texas A&M class ring. Figures.

He took the pad back and held the pen up to it so he could write something else, but then Clarabelle walked out holding a bag of frozen peas. “Try putting this on your eye...” she was saying. Then they saw each other.

She dropped the peas.

He dropped the pen and paper.

The man’s jaw set, but his bottom lip quivered. “Clara-bell,” he said, in the loud, off-tone, and asymmetrical voice of a man who could no longer hear his own words. He bent down to pick up the flowers, knees cracking along the way. Then he stood up straight, removed his hat, and handed her the flowers. “It’s been a long time,” he said in an off-key but confident voice. “I love you.”

She took the flowers and put a hand to her face, sobbing behind the thick glasses.

“You guys know each other, I take it?”

Clarabelle stepped forward and gave the big man a hug, then took off her glasses. Wiping them on her dress, she said: “He’s my third wish.”

His name was Jet Worthington. He’d gone to high school with Clarabelle in Midland, and while they never dated the two always liked each other — but the timing was never right. With his notepad, he explained how he lost his hearing and much of his mobility when a blowout preventer on a well in the Permian Basin failed and blew the whole derrick sky high.

The three of us sat on the back porch of Clarabelle’s house, sipping tea and watching a man in a catamaran zip through the channel. Ringo chased sea gulls on the beach as the man pointed north and wrote on the pad: Bought the closest house to you I could. Two down on the channel. The blue one. Couldn’t stand the thought of you being alone.

“But why all this?” asked Clarabelle.

The man raised an eyebrow and flipped the page in his notepad. You know darn well why, he scribbled, smiling. I always loved you.

Clarabelle stared, smiling at the man through her massive glasses, eyes still watery. He smiled back, setting the pen and paper down, wincing and shaking his huge hands from all the writing.

“But I haven’t seen you in forty years!” she said.

The man just shrugged, sipping his tea.

So you gave Clarabelle all that money? I wrote on his pad.

The man nodded, pointing to his mouth, and said out loud, “I’m pretty good at reading lips.”

Flipping the notepad again, he scribbled: I paid Smitty Leedel, the painter, to put the lamp up there a few weeks ago when you had him out. He laughed out loud, flipping the page. Walked to that old boat every night at midnight to see if she’d found it yet. It’s about time!

Clarabelle wasn’t laughing; she looked disappointed. “So it really wasn’t a magic lamp?”

Jet shook his head, his smile fading. He flipped the pad and wrote: Bought it in Dubai. Pawn shop. You mad?

“But why?” she said. “I mean, you know I’d be tickled to see you. Why all the fuss?”

He looked into the distance for a moment, then flipped the page and wrote: Not exactly a star quarterback these days. Felt I needed to make an entrance.

Clarabelle picked her sister’s picture up off of the table and pointed to one of the boys in letter jackets. “That’s Jet way back then,” she said, smiling.

“Where’d you get all that money?” I asked the old man. I knew I was being gauche but it was the elephant in the room. He fished a business card out of his suit pocket, flipped it on the table. “Worthington Global Petroleum,” I read out loud. “Jet Worthington, Founder and CEO.” I whistled, tucking the card into the pocket of my Hawaiian shirt.

The old man flipped the pad again, giving me a knowing smile and writing. Everybody wishes for a million dollars on their first wish, right? Arranged a trip to my bank in Houston the day before Smitty put the lamp up there. Thought the bank manager was going to cry!

You pulled a million bucks out of the bank just like that? I scribbled.

The man nodded slowly, smiling. It was good to be the king.

What about all her sister’s stuff? I wrote, pointing at the box.

“Oh, I can answer that, I’ll bet,” said Clarabelle. “Jet’s daddy owned a storage company in Midland. When Daddy died, I paid movers to put a bunch of stuff in storage there, then later gave them permission to sell the contents at auction. I’m guessing you got first dibs on the bid?”

Jet bowed his head and spread his arms wide as if receiving a standing ovation from a live audience.

“Well, I’d better get on,” I said, standing and putting on my University of Texas ball cap. Ringo stretched and hopped out of the box. Neither of them made a move to stop me. “I’m going back to the boat for a nap.” My eye pounded like a child throwing a tantrum and there was no part of me that wasn’t filled with sand. But it was a beautiful, warm day on the Texas coast.

Clarabelle Mayhew and Jet Worthington were still staring at each other, smiling and silent, as I limped down the wooden steps to the Jeep with Ringo in tow.

I cranked the engine, lit a cigaret. George Jones was on the radio with “He Stopped Loving Her Today.” I put my sunglasses on and stared up at the pale Gulf of Mexico sky. A flock of cormorants flew overhead out past the lighthouse and into the shallows of the channel for a spot of lunch. Over the bay, someone was taking a Cessna for a spin. It was a cloudless day; a warm breeze kind of day; a day to remember that sometimes good things do happen out of the blue; and wishes, every once in a while, really do come true.

Farewell Cruise

by Martin Edwards

Martin Edwards is the author of two highly acclaimed series of mystery novels, sixty short stories, and some of the genre’s most distinguished critical writing, including The Golden Age of Murder, which won the Edgar, Agatha, H.R.F. Keating, and Macavity awards for best nonfiction book of 2015. He is also the current president of Britain’s prestigious Detection Club.

* * *

Wanda made her entrance into the Medusa Bar twenty minutes after the sailaway from I Havana. Most passengers (I can never quite get used to calling them guests) are exhausted long before the end of the first night on board, after a transatlantic flight, a compulsory safety drill, and a voluntary five-course meal washed down by wine. But Wanda seemed in the mood to party all night. Her flame-coloured hair was piled high, and her halter-neck dress left little to the imagination.

“You play beautifully,” she said, as I came to the end of “Strangers in the Night.”

I bowed my thanks and asked if I detected an Essex accent. She laughed loudly and said I was obviously a real sleuthhound, which rather pleased me. I told her I came from Deal. She said she was born in Southend, but had spent the past five years in Whitstable.

“But now the world’s my oyster,” she chortled. “This cruise is a treat, you see. I’m celebrating my divorce.”

“Congratulations.”

I asked if she had any requests from the sixties, and she wanted to know if I could play “Big Spender.” As I picked out the opening bars, a couple came into the lounge. He was about forty, and darkly handsome. She was a year or two younger, pretty but nondescript, with mousy hair and pale skin. The red-haired woman waved them over and said, “This is Justin Lemaitre, the best divorce lawyer in Thanet, and probably the world. And here’s his wife Millie. My special guests on the cruise of a lifetime. I’m Wanda Thomson.”

We chatted for a few minutes, and as I played “This Guy’s in Love With You,” Wanda and Justin danced. Millie watched them, seemingly untroubled, even when Justin’s hands started to go a-Wanda-ing.

“She’s very generous,” Millie murmured. “She was ecstatic about how much Justin screwed out of her ex. He even got Bruno to transfer his flat in Holland Park. Worth a fortune. So she insisted on bringing us with her on holiday as her guests.”

That night, in the cabin, Toby asked if any of the new passengers were interesting. To be frank, after ten months at sea, the passengers provide you with more entertainment than you supply them, especially if you’re as insatiably curious (nosey, Toby would say) as me. I told him about Wanda, her lawyer, and his wife, and Toby speculated cheekily about threesomes.

Toby was a member of the show team: five boys, five girls, each of them young and lithe. He likes to tell people that all three of his siblings went to university; his parents have the graduation photos on display in their front room at home in Margate, but were distraught when he left school at sixteen. “Then again, I’m the one sailing round the Caribbean!” This was the final cruise of our contract, and I knew he was likely to move on once we left the ship. He was much more ambitious than me, as well as twenty years younger. But I lived in hope.

We spent the next day at sea, and that evening, Wanda and the Lemaitres returned to the Medusa. Even with ten different bars on the ship, people get into habits. The Medusa was busier, but Wanda and I talked a little more, and I learned that Bruno, the ex, was a bastard. He was also a City trader, so the divorce had left her with money to burn. She spent twenty minutes dancing with Justin, and they both seemed to enjoy themselves. Millie spent the evening sipping our most expensive cocktails. Never once did I see either of the Lemaitres sign a tab.

Montego Bay came next on the itinerary, and in the evening, I asked Millie about her day, while Justin and Wanda jigged to the “One-Note Samba.” She told me they’d all taken the excursion to Rose Hall, a Georgian mansion on the edge of town.

“You heard about the legend of the White Witch?” I asked.

“Annie Palmer? Of course. A white witch with flaming red hair.” Millie shook her head. “They say she murdered three husbands, and was an expert in voodoo. The guide sang us a song about her. You’ll never guess who wrote it.”

“Johnny Cash,” I said, with Sherlockian flair. “Actually, I did that tour last time we docked in Jamaica. At least unhappy wives don’t need to resort to murder these days. They can always turn to folk like Justin.”

“You’re right,” she murmured. “Plenty of spouses have turned to him.”

Downing her rum punch, she signalled to her husband that she was ready for bed. He smiled as she left, but stayed on the floor for another ten minutes. As they left the Medusa, I noticed Wanda patting Justin’s bum.

“Trouble’s brewing,” I told Toby that night. “Wanda drinks too much and then misbehaves. She’s dangerous, if you ask me.”

“You should mind your own business. Better to keep out of a family argument.”

His attitude irritated me, but there were compensations. Dancing in ten shows a week made him very athletic.

Two days later we landed at Puerto Limon. That night, Wanda and the Lemaitres were back in the Medusa. Millie sipped at a piña colada while her husband and his client shimmied along with “Something Stupid.” She hadn’t caught the sun, and her eyes looked bleary. I suspected she’d been crying. Trying to cheer her up, I asked what she’d made of Costa Rica.

“We took the jungle river cruise,” she said. “The wildlife is wonderful. Parrots, monkeys — and I saw an alligator, close enough to stroke its head.”

“Just as well you didn’t. They are man-eaters.”

“Man-eaters, mmmm.” She cast a glance at Wanda, who was wrapped around her husband like a boa constrictor, and whispered, “At least I managed not to tip Justin into the alligator’s jaws.”

I segued into “Crocodile Rock,” a daring departure since my sessions are billed as Sounds of the Sixties, but I doubted if anyone realised that I’d snuck into the seventies. Millie gave a wan smile and drifted back to her seat. This time she stuck it out until Justin and Wanda stopped dancing. I sensed that she was determined to make sure he accompanied her back to their cabin, and wondered what time he’d returned the previous night.

Our next destination was Colon, where we stayed a couple of nights, long enough both to tour the Canal and drive to the Pacific Coast and soak up the atmosphere of Panama City. Each evening Wanda and her friends turned up at the Medusa. Each evening she and Justin became more ostentatious with their displays of affection. Each evening Millie’s quiet misery deepened.

“I don’t like it,” I told Toby that night. “Wanda’s stopped trying to hide her contempt for Millie. Justin’s equally scornful of her. One of the other passengers told me he saw the lovebirds canoodling in the ruined convent during the walking tour round old Panama City. Millie pretended to take no notice and climbed to the top of the old cathedral on her own. Thank goodness she didn’t throw herself off. The poor woman is humiliated. More than that, she’s obviously furious, but bottling up all her rage. It’s going to blow up before the end of the cruise, mark my words.”

“No outsider can know what goes on inside a marriage,” Toby said, taking off his shirt.

Toby’s young and self-centred. I’m more of a people person. It’s an asset in the job. Passengers like to talk to members of the crew, especially the entertainers. They think it gives them an insight into life at sea, but they don’t know the half of it. I love life on board ship, but occasionally I feel like a captive in a floating prison. How must it feel to be trapped inside a loveless marriage? Devotion can turn to hate. I wondered if Millie hated Justin, and how she might escape him. Poor thing, she’d have to find another hotshot lawyer to represent her in the alimony negotiations.

Next morning, I joined the passengers on the promenade deck as we sailed into Cartagena under a brilliant sun. I caught sight of Justin and Wanda, leaning over the railing and gazing across the bay. He was in his swimming trucks, she in a small pink bikini, and her hand was on his neat rump. They made a good-looking couple, I had to admit. Justin caught sight of me and winked. He never seemed in the least embarrassed. It was almost as if he enjoyed flaunting the fact that an attractive woman was infatuated with him.

“Lovely sight, isn’t it?” I said.

Deliberately misunderstanding, he peered down Wanda’s cleavage. “You never said a truer word.”

She giggled. “The guidebook says Cartagena is a walled city, very historic.”

“One of my favourite destinations,” I said. “Enjoy your day.”

“We will,” she said, and led Justin away by the hand.

That night, there was an incident in the Medusa Bar. Justin and Wanda had been dancing together as usual, and when they returned to the table, Millie said something that caused her husband to flush with anger. I kept my eyes fixed on them as I played “You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me.” I’m no lipreader, but it was clear that Wanda was trying to keep the peace, and equally apparent that she was failing. Finally Millie sprang to her feet and, pushing past her husband, ran out of the Medusa. Wanda and Justin exchanged a few words and I gained the impression that she was urging him to follow his wife and try to patch things up. At first he was having none of it, but in the end, he swallowed the rest of his gin and tonic and hurried off.

“Everything all right?” I asked, when Wanda came over to the piano.

“Millie has caught a touch of the sun. She’s not herself at the moment, I’m afraid.”

“And Justin?”

“He’s fine. I’ve always been fond of him.” She hiccupped loudly. “We’re cousins, you know, but for years I saw nothing of him. Now I owe him more than I can ever repay.”

When I told Toby about the quarrel, he asked if I still thought Wanda was dangerous. For me, the whole situation was a powder keg. Would Millie lose control? Would Justin’s temper snap? Might Wanda egg him on to doing something terrible?

Toby sniggered, and said I had a vivid imagination. For the next hour or so, I set about proving he was right.

Santa Marta was our next port, and I joined the excursion to La Quinta de San Pedro Alejandrino. Justin and Wanda were on the bus, but there was no sign of Millie. When we arrived at the hacienda, I asked if she was all right. Wanda made a face, and Justin groaned.

“She refused to come along, even though Wanda had paid for our tickets. At breakfast she made a real exhibition of herself. This pathetic jealousy, it’s getting me down.”

Wanda squeezed his hand. “We won’t let her spoil things.”

The guide took us round the little room where Bolivar breathed his last, and the passengers took photos of iguanas in the grounds. On the way back, the bus stopped halfway along the seafront. I jumped out and met up with Toby, as arranged, in a bar overlooking the marina. I’d never managed to interest him in taking part in the organised tours. His lack of curiosity about the cruise destinations baffled me. I always want to find out.

“Your eyes are shining,” he said after ordering me a Bacardi and Coke. “Another installment in the soap opera?”

I brought him up to date. “I’m guessing the Lemaitres will break up. I only hope nobody does anything... more drastic.”

He showed his sharp white teeth in a grin. “You think you’re a detective, but you’re really a drama queen. Why would anyone do something drastic?”

Stung, I said, “Passions run high when a relationship falls apart.”

“Why can’t people just part as friends?” He leaned back in his chair, giving me a chance to admire his rippling muscles. “It’s silly to make a big thing out of it. We all need to move on at some point in our lives.”

He was breaking the news to me gently. Luckily, I’d seen it coming. Perhaps that was why I’d absorbed myself in the tragicomedy of Justin’s betrayal of Millie. A displacement activity to occupy our farewell cruise.

“Not everyone is like you.”

“True,” he said. “Come on. I’ve to be back on board by one. My turn to take the punters on a backstage tour. And I don’t suppose you’ll want to miss the ice-carving demonstration, you little tourist, you.”

As we strolled along the shore towards the cruise terminal, I kicked around in my mind what was happening to the Lemaitres. Was this a passing fling, as far as Justin was concerned? Perhaps when they all got back to England, things would settle down. They might even live happily ever after. But I doubted it.

The three of them were in the Medusa Bar that evening. Millie looked as despondent as her husband was self-assured. Not for the first time, Wanda was the worse for wear. Our all-inclusive drinks packages have a lot to answer for.

As I played “Born Free,” Justin and Wanda smooched on the dance floor. Some passengers were nudging each other and casting pitying glances at Millie. As I shifted into a Beatles medley, Millie beckoned Justin over. He bent over her while she remained seated at their table, and when she spoke, he glanced to the heavens before shrugging his shoulders. It was as if she’d given him an ultimatum. When his wife headed off to the toilet, Justin gestured to Wanda and led her out through the far door. Neither of them was walking steadily. Whether they went out on to the deck or somewhere else, I couldn’t tell.

Millie was back two minutes later. She ordered another daiquiri and sat at her table, keeping her eyes on the exit, as if expecting Justin to reappear. I reckoned she’d have a long wait.

When my set came to an end, she made her way over to the piano, and I asked how she was.

“I’ve had better days.”

“You weren’t on the tour today.”

“Couldn’t face it. Do you think I’m weak?”

“I’m sorry if you’re not enjoying the cruise.” Time for a spot of corporate-speak. “We always want our guests to...”

“I was afraid this would happen.” She might have been talking to herself. “I’ve told Justin he has to decide. It’s her or me.”

Unable to think of anything helpful to say, I kept my mouth shut. It dropped open a few moments later when Justin walked back in. He strode over to the piano and took hold of Millie by the hand. He looked haggard, as if he’d aged ten years in the space of half an hour.

“I’ve told her.”

Millie closed her eyes and embraced him. Toby appeared in the doorway of the Medusa, indicating his watch. I’d forgotten that we’d agreed to meet for a drink in the Lagoon Bar. As I joined him, he was studying the Lemaitres.

“Kissing and making up?”

“I gather he’s dumped Wanda.”

“The happy ending you wanted?”

“I hope so.”

He smirked. “Only in storybooks, love.”

We headed off to the Lagoon, and I didn’t give Wanda and her friends a second thought until halfway through the next day. We were at sea, on our way back to Havana for the end of the cruise. Whilst Toby was rehearsing, I heard a loudspeaker announcement for crew members, giving an unfamiliar code word. When I checked our instructions, I found it meant a passenger was missing. Twenty minutes later, I bumped into Emilio, the hotel manager. He was distraught.

“A woman on deck thirteen has vanished. No sign of her since last night.”

I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. “What’s her name?”

“Wanda Thomson. She has a suite to herself, but she’s travelling with friends. They became concerned when she didn’t show up as usual.”

The grapevine on board ship is unrivalled, and as the hours passed, I pieced together all the snippets of gossip. Justin said he’d come to his senses and taken Wanda to a quiet corner of the Lagoon bar, where he’d broken the news that he was staying with Millie. She’d burst into tears, but he’d been adamant, and in the end, he walked out. The barman in the Lagoon said that Wanda had tottered away by herself, looking dreadful. The door leading to the balcony from Wanda’s suite was open, and the only conclusion anyone could draw was that she’d thrown herself over the side in a fit of drunken misery. It had to be suicide. The railings are designed so that slipping overboard accidentally is impossible.

Captain Werner increased our speed, and we arrived ahead of schedule at Havana, where the local police took charge. One of those interviewed was Toby. He’d bumped into Justin on his way to the Lagoon and introduced himself. He told Justin that he shared a cabin with me, and that he’d heard about the divorce celebration. Justin, who’d had a skinful, confided that he’d upset Wanda by making it clear they didn’t have a future together. Such a sad story. Wanda’s happiness had proved so fragile.

To be honest with you, the demographic of cruise passengers means that it isn’t uncommon for people to die on board. But this was the first time I’d known of a passenger committing suicide. When I pointed out to Toby that I’d foreseen disaster, he nodded solemnly.

“You were spot on.”

A year passed, and I took another contract, this time on a ship whose home port was Dubai. I texted Toby a few times, but he seldom replied. All I knew was that he was living in central London and had a minor part in a West End show. I didn’t give poor Wanda or the Lemaitres much thought, but for some reason I couldn’t get Toby out of my mind. Silly, of course. No fool like an old fool, eh?

During my free time in London, I decided to look in at the Rickshaw. Toby had told me it was his favourite club, so it seemed worth a try. Just on the off chance. And, across a crowded room, I did spot him. He was with someone, of course, but that someone wasn’t a stranger. And this was no enchanted evening.

Toby’s eyes met mine at the moment Justin Lemaitre ambled away from the bar, following a sign marked Rest Rooms. I shoved my way through the dancers, my mind buzzing. The world was turning upside down.

“You knew him before the cruise, didn’t you?”

He smiled his winsome smile. “Got it in one. We met in some dive in Margate. He said he was... curious. I always like curiosity in a man, that’s what drew me to you. And he’s awfully smart.”

Which I wasn’t, I realised, as I stumbled away through the jostling mass of humanity on the dance floor. All those months when I thought the two of us had something, dared to hope... well, never mind. Worse things happen at sea, you might say. We all make mistakes.

Including Toby. Walking back to the Tube, I realised that he’d said something about a family argument before I learned that Wanda and Justin were cousins. The following day, I checked out the probate records.

It seemed Justin was Wanda’s only cousin. Once she’d divorced Bruno, it made sense for her to make a new will in favour of her closest relative. Her estate was valued at six million. To the Cuban police, I suppose he was simply Wanda’s solicitor, not her heir. Would Scotland Yard have delved deeper?

Millie, I’m betting, was in on it from the start. She knows exactly what her husband is like, and she’s spent her married life turning a blind eye. They are still together, but Toby seems to have the run of the Holland Park flat. Perhaps it was all Millie’s idea. What I wonder is: Did Toby simply provide Justin with an alibi — or was he the one who pushed that sad, loveless alcoholic over the side of the ship?

Or — was Toby right after all? Am I simply a drama queen who makes a lousy detective? That’s why I came here, for an expert opinion. What do you think, Sergeant?

Burg’s Hobby Case

by Matthew Wilson

Department of First Stories

A high-school English teacher from Portland, Oregon, Matthew Wilson grew up in a family with a GI father and a German mother and spent six years in Germany, three in Bad Kissingen, the spa town of this story. He told EQMM that witnessing East and West Germany face off at the border and tensions between the aged and the young helped to inspire this story.

* * *

On his day off, Hans Burg went to a junk shop. Some people called them antiques or memorabilia or collectibles, but Burg knew it was all just old junk. In their spring cleaning, people were smart about what to keep and what to get rid of, so most shops that dealt in antiques, according to Burg, were only fooling themselves and their customers. But Bad Kissingen was a good place for just such a shop. There were lots of tourists passing through for a spa, a Kur, and they could be seduced by material things from the past. A banker’s wife could fall for a token she could put on her mantel, something none of her rivals would ever find in a department store in Frankfurt or Munich.

For Burg, a day off was a relief. The murder case he’d been working had filled too much of his time. It was the first murder in Bad Kissingen in a decade. The last one was a domestic case practically closed the day it was opened by a man named Schmidt. That was back in ’67, when both Schmidt and Burg were only junior detectives, before Schmidt became Polizeihauptkommissar Schmidt, Burg’s chief. It was something to get used to, Burg thought at the time, a boss ten years younger.

Now Schmidt had assigned Burg the biggest case of his career, and Burg couldn’t understand why. He’d been slipping at work for a long time. There were too many late arrivals smelling of Katerfruhstück, the hangover remedy consisting of raw pickled herring, onions, and sour pickles. There were too many over-long lunches, with Burg returning to work in shirts and ties stained by Currywurst and Schweinsehaxen.

Any man in the station would have bet the murder case would go to Trautman or Waigl. They were competent men, not Burg. Sure, Burg could track down a pickpocket, one of those working the well-healed spa tourists, or a shoplifting American teenager, one of the children of the soldiers stationed at the nearby Daley Barracks. But not a dead girl in the park. And not just any park, but the Kurpark, where all those spa tourists strolled through a manicured landscape flowing between the resort hotels. The Kurpark, where Bad Kissingen made its money.

The junk shop, on the other hand, was on the very fringe of Bad Kissingen, far from the spa district, far from the gardens, the fountains, the mud baths, the massage tables. This particular shop wasn’t tidy enough, or profitable enough, to exist in the heart of Bad Kissingen, so it survived on the edge of it, like a scavenger.

Entering the shop, Burg could leave behind the murder case for another he’d been working in his spare time, his hobby case. It was not something on his actual caseload, but something on his mind, a little mystery he wanted to solve, to satisfy his own curiosity about someone. He was often distracted by these hobby cases, and he sometimes thought he’d be better off putting the energy he spent on them into his real cases. But there was something too attractive to Burg about a mystery no one cared about except for him.

When Burg pushed the door open, he heard the tinkle of the shopkeeper’s bell. The door and the bell, like the contents of the shop itself, were unwanted remnants of the bygone. The clerk or proprietor, Burg wasn’t sure, gave a “Grufi Gott” barely looking up from the morning’s paper. He appeared as worn-out and used up as his merchandise.

Burg paced through the crowded and grimy shop. Only in a junk shop would people tolerate the dust and the unkempt displays. Any other shop and the neighbors would complain about the grit and hazard of the place, shaming the proprietor with scowls if not lodging an actual civil complaint. But this shop seemed not to care about such social pressure. It did have a kind of logic to its layout, even if the merchandise was haphazardly thrown around. There were whole sections dedicated to various classes of junk. There were shelves of ceramic figurines, dancers and maidens and farmers and cows. There was a corner for defunct or obsolete machinery for sewing and typing, and thrown in with those were old radios and simple Agfa box cameras. A collection of nutcrackers sat high up on a shelf to keep children from handling them. They stood lined up like florid sentinels, soldiers in lousy camouflage. There were shelves for old dolls and dishes, for binders of discarded stamp collections, and in another corner stood a beaten-up wardrobe, the doors open to reveal stacks of old magazines. A menagerie of beer steins cluttered up against another wall, and next to them were random pieces of silver — platters, knives, spoons, forks, coffee and tea sets. Burg was interested in none of this.

What he wanted to find, if it was here, would have to be kept in the back room. He browsed for ten minutes, attempting to give the impression of a tourist hoping for a random treasure. At a point that felt right, he approached the old man and his newspaper.

“I’m looking for something a little special,” Burg said, “something for my history-buff grandson in the States.”

The old man didn’t look up, his eyes still on the newspaper. “One of those.”

“One of what?”

“Your daughter run off with one of the GIs? Make another soldier for America?”

Burg paused. Take offense or share the outrage? After the war, how many German men watched their sisters or daughters rush off with dollar-rich American GIs while they scratched out a life in the rubble of the postwar economy? He began to imagine a little chess match to enlist the old man’s help. The daughter was a fiction, so it was easy to allow her abuse. Burg said, “You think you raise the child right, but she has a mind of her own.”

The old man looked up from the paper. “Mine too. She’s in Kentucky, a place called Radcliff.”

Burg shrugged his shoulders, as if to say What can a man do? He patted his breast pocket and pulled out a red box of Marlboros. He flipped the top open and slid out a cigaret with his thumb, offering it to the old man. “They’ve got my grandson, but I’ve got their cigarets.”

The old man took the offer, grabbing a heavy brass tabletop lighter priced at ten marks. He lit up then passed the lighter to Burg. Before lighting his cigaret, Burg examined the lighter, a chunk of brass shaped like a horse’s head, the filament jutting out of the top between flares of mane.

“So what have you got for a boy who wants to collect historical artifacts?” Burg said.

“Look around this place. It’s all history. You want to know which film star dated a prince, check those old magazines over there. You want to pretend there’s no electricity, try one of those old oil lamps. Over there in the beer steins, see if you can find a keepsake. Avoid the cheap ones, though. You’ll have to open them up to tell. See if there’s a relief at the bottom, maybe of a farmer and his sweetheart. That’s very nineteenth century. Your boy might like that.”

Burg tapped his cigaret into the ashtray on the counter, a kitsch piece of ceramic shaped like a pool with a naked mermaid swimming up out of it. “My grandson, I think, is interested in more recent history, not so long ago as the nineteenth century.”

“Weimar? I’ve got some Weimar stuff right over here. Come, have a look.” The old man led Burg over to a drawer at the other end of the counter. He opened it and pulled out a few notes of currency. “Here, he might like this. One thousand marks.” He held up a single note, then shuffled some more, looking for another. “Here, how about this one. One million marks. In nineteen twenty-three it could buy you a loaf of bread. Now that is a piece of history. A real story behind it.”

Burg remembered his parents and grandparents telling him of the hyperinflation in the 1920s. He was just a boy then. But Weimar wasn’t what he was after. The old man handed him the bill, and Burg looked it over.

“My grandson might find this interesting. But to be honest with you, he knows nothing about Weimar. It would require a whole history lesson, and still the novelty would wear off quickly. Now, he’s not like most of the Americans, completely ignorant about Germany. He knows a lot about—”

“The Third Reich time, you mean?”

Burg paused, reading the man. “Yes, that’s his interest.”

“Come on. That’s all those people know about Germany. Your boy knows about as much as the rest of them... and besides, that stuff’s illegal. I couldn’t help you if I wanted to.”

Too far, Burg thought. Or maybe this old man really didn’t keep any of the outlawed memorabilia Burg was after. He thought about giving up, or at least retreating.

The old man drew on his cigaret and gave Burg a sideways glance. “You’re not a cop, are you?”

Burg coughed and looked down at his overgrown belly protruding through his open jacket. “Do I look like a cop? I’m just an old man like you. Except I have even less to keep me interested. Retired. And anyway, cops today are useless.”

“That’s God’s truth.” The old man paused before smashing his cigaret into the mermaid’s blue pool. “Come over here, let me show you something.”

He waved Burg back behind the counter. Burg stepped around the end of the counter and the old man led him through the door behind it. It opened into a small living space, as unkempt as the shop itself. There was a refrigerator and a small electric range in the corner, an electric bread slicer next to it with a half-consumed loaf of grey bread pressed against the blade. A table dominated the center of the room. Dishes and glasses, both clean and soiled, mingled on its surface. There was a couch doubling as a bed along one wall. In one corner was an old trunk. The old man went to the refrigerator, pulled out his last bottle of beer, searched the table for two clean glasses, found them, and filled each with equal parts of the beer. He turned one of the wooden chairs at the table out, offering it to Burg, and Burg sat and took the glass the old man had set in front of him.

“You and I,” the old man said, “we are the same, aren’t we?”

“What do you mean?” Burg said.

“The old days. Still remembering the old days. This whole country wants to forget. Put it behind them. Lock it away and forget it. Like a retarded child kept in the closet.”

“Hmm,” Burg said, uncommitted.

“What we were willing to give for our country. None of these young people today understand that commitment.”

He flipped open his newspaper and spread it on the table. “Look at this.” The headline in big block letters screamed, “RED ARMY FACTION STRIKES AGAIN: PROMINENT INDUSTRIALIST MURDERED.”

Burg glanced at the headline.

“First we saved this country from the communists. Then, after the war, we rebuilt it from the ashes, and what do we get in return? A generation that spits in our face.” The old man moved to the trunk, still talking as he did. “It’s a disgrace, really. These young people... leftists, communists, like our sworn enemies... killing good citizens for something we fought against in Russia and Poland, our brothers dying all around us.” He began working the padlock on the trunk. “They think we were all just mindless automatons. Nazis. That’s all wrong. We weren’t Nazis. We were patriots.”

“But some were Nazis.”

“Well yes, some, sure. There are bastards wherever you go. But I was in the Wehrmacht. I saw my friends die in the Crimea. Good young men who loved their country, drowned in the Black Sea. They weren’t Nazis. For God’s sake, the Nazis betrayed them, just as they betrayed all of Germany.”

The trunk was opened and from it the old man pulled a couple of shoeboxes. He brought the shoeboxes over to the table, crowding dishes and glasses over to one corner to make room.

“Here, what do you want? How about this, maybe your grandson will like this?” He pulled out a shiny butter knife from one of the boxes. He handed it to Burg and Burg examined the engraving on the handle. The classic German eagle motif with the swastika crest, the year below that — 1943.

“Or how about this one?” From the other box the old man pulled a tarnished silver ring with the same eagle and swastika emblazoned on it. Burg turned it over in his hand.

“And these?” The old man held out a handful of lapel pins. He dropped them on the table like worthless pennies. Burg took one up and examined it. A swastika lay in the center against a white background. A red circle surrounded the swastika, with black words emblazoned in the red: NATIONAL-SOZIALISTISCHE-D.A.P.

Burg said, “They must have made a million of these.”

“Ten million — a hundred million. Every damn man and his mother wore one—”

“If you wanted to keep your job.”

“Yes, you remember too. They made loyalty to Germany and loyalty to the party inseparable. That was a clever trick they played on us. My friends died thinking it was for Germany... but it was only for Hitler’s folly.”

“But every con man needs his mark. And we were willing to be marks for the party.”

“Yes, well. They played on our sense of honor, and we fell for it. Young people today don’t understand that, because they don’t know what honor is.”

“Honor got us shot. Honor sent us to Russian gulags. Honor turned our cities into rubble. Maybe these kids are smarter than we were about what to die for.”

“You think? Even these radicals in the papers, killing decent businessmen?”

Burg shrugged his shoulders.

The old man said nothing for a long time. He took a long drink from his beer before saying, “I’ve got some coins, some old documents with Third Reich stamps on them. They loved stamping documents. I’ve got a few small embroidered military patches. But that’s about all.” He pushed the boxes over to Burg. “Here, look for yourself. Let me know if your grandson wants any of this.”

Burg sifted through the boxes while the old man stood up and started clearing dishes from the table, placing them in the sink over in the corner that served as a kitchen. This guy was a lousy housekeeper, Burg thought. It was something else they had in common. Burg picked out one of the lapel pins as a gift for his fictional grandson. He also selected a small document with a fancy official stamp featuring the eagle and swastika. It was a draft deferment for a deaf man. In the picture the man had a shock of thick black hair and a handsome face. The lucky bastard, Burg thought. The lucky deaf bastard. No war for him. No hellish Russian front, no deadly African desert.

Burg negotiated a price with the old man and readied himself to leave. Still, he had not gotten what he came for. He took one last shot at it. “Any chance you know someone with a more... well, with a more extensive collection?”

The old man found a soiled and torn envelope among some scattered papers. He pulled a ballpoint from his breast pocket and wrote down a name and address. Handing the envelope to Burg, he said, “This man has what you’re looking for. Just be careful. None of your defeatist talk, or he’ll throw you out. And if you’re a cop, I’ve never seen you before in my life.”

As Burg drove away from the junk shop, the radio broadcast the news and the weather, but Burg ignored it. He was thinking of the old man and of his complaints. Young people today. It was a time-honored grievance of the old. He caught himself sometimes trapped in these same thoughts. The young uniformed officers at the station, they didn’t understand him. He sensed their contempt for him, for old Burg, with his fat belly and stained lapels. No doubt they eyed his job — Kriminalkommissar — and believed they could do it better. But what did they know of the world? They had no memory of dead comrades, no recollection of cities turned to piles of stones, no acquaintance with killing and death.

Then there were the radicals in the papers. People like Andreas Baader and Ulrike Meinhof. Baader with his bank robberies and Meinhof with her manifestos. Meinhof, she condemned all the old bald-headed Germans, men like him. She said they never really did give up their fascist ways, that they took the Marshall Plan money and built a soulless new Germany, one without enough shame, a consumerist dystopia, one with old Nazis still pulling all the strings. He could see how the old man at the shop, with his tabloid newspaper gripped in his fist, would resent such juvenile upstarts.

But Burg tried to turn off his resentment, because he remembered his own young self, full of ideas and hopes, of longings and disappointments. He occasionally went soft on pickpockets and shoplifters for this reason. Once, a skinny American kid caught with a box of candy in his pants fell onto Burg’s caseload. It was like that — they always gave him the least important work. Burg watched the kid’s limbs tremble at the thought of his tough soldier father meting out punishment, so Burg brought the kid over to Daley Barracks, the American family housing area, and quietly dropped him at his mother’s door, and somehow all the paperwork for this minor offense disappeared.

As Burg drove on, the news and weather switched to music. Some brass, an accordion, and a woman’s voice came out of the radio. For a moment his mind drifted to the dead girl in the park. He wondered what kind of young person she was — a scared child, like the shoplifting kid, or something else?

Burg checked the address the old man had written on the envelope just to be sure, then stepped out of his Volkswagen and walked up to the cottage. The facade of the cottage was grey and faded, and there were spots where the plaster had disintegrated, crumbling away from the surface and leaving gouges, so that the front of it resembled a pockmarked face. The Kur tourists would be surprised to encounter such a cottage only a village over from Bad Kissingen, only a Sunday drive from the luxury suites of the spa district.

At the door, Burg was greeted by a man with a single arm. His name was Jochim Fuchs. He wore a mustard-colored cardigan with the right sleeve pinned up. It was awkward to shake his hand. People who met Fuchs would naturally reach with the right hand for a greeting, and Fuchs had to shake it with his left, and it wasn’t quite a proper handshake. It felt like holding hands, like a parent and a child — or, even more awkward, like young lovers. Because Germans were so big on handshaking, Fuchs could never escape the discomfort that came with routine encounters with neighbors and acquaintances. Except if he didn’t go out, if he stayed in. Then he didn’t have to shake anyone’s hand. And that’s how Burg found him, all alone at home, avoiding the bother of people, of greetings and pleasantries, of Guten Morgens and Grüß Gotts.

When Fuchs answered the door, Burg told him who sent him — the old man in the junk shop — and Fuchs asked if he was a cop, and Burg told the same story, about the uselessness of cops, and Fuchs believed him, but with more reluctance than the old man at the shop. Fuchs showed Burg in, and they sat on old furniture and drank strong coffee and made small talk. The house was not such a mess as the last one. There wasn’t the clutter of the old man’s place, and the aged furniture was in better shape, as if it had been cared for with dedication.

When the coffee was done, Fuchs went right to business. He took Burg down to his cellar. They walked past the oil furnace, past a decrepit washing machine and sagging laundry lines, past shelves of root vegetables, to a door with a padlock. Fuchs unlocked the door, turned the old-fashioned light switch, and said, “Come in.”

It was like a small, windowless shop. Lining the shelves to the left were neat displays of cutlery, buttons, badges, armbands, belt buckles, hats, and jewelry. There were framed propaganda posters and vibrant red pennants on the far wall, and on the right was a floor-to-ceiling display case with pull-out drawers.

“It may seem like a small collection,” Fuchs said, “but let me assure you it’s the best you will find around here. I’m sure you remember how it was in forty-five. All the cowards who burned their flags and threw out white sheets at the first sight of a Sheridan.”

Burg feigned agreement.

There was something that puzzled Burg. It took effort and wit to find his way to this man’s illicit shop, so how did he attract customers to make it worth keeping up such an inventory? His curiosity distracted him for the moment from his initial purpose.

Burg said, “I cannot believe you have such a fine collection. I thought for sure my poor grandson was going to have to settle for a plastic Messerschmitt from the hobby shop. They won’t even put a swastika on those things, only the iron cross. Very inauthentic. But this...” and Burg swung his hands around as he said it, “...you have a real gold mine here. A collector’s dream, an historian’s dream, really.”

Fuchs looked pleased.

Burg continued, “You must have good contacts with scholars and military historians, since you cannot really advertise, can you?”

“Are you kidding me? People today, they want as far away as possible from my collection. The scholars, if they are interested in the Third Reich, all they write about is the so-called ‘Final Solution.’ Nothing about the bravery of the men in Stalingrad or Bastogne. No, the only Germans I see are old men like us. A little piece to remind them of those days. For whatever reason. Everything else, I sell by mail order. Mostly to England. They can’t get enough of swastikas.”

Burg looked over at the display case. Fuchs invited him to browse, so he did. He pulled out drawers and examined old documents. He found flags and banners folded neatly, as if waiting for the season to change so they could be brought out. In drawers he found more personalized items. Pieces with names on them, letter openers and regimental steins, and Burg asked Fuchs about them, and Fuchs said the personalized stuff always went for more money, especially if you could place the original owner somewhere historical. The Luger of an officer in Rommel’s Afrika Korps. The last love letter of a hero fallen at Stalingrad, stamped with a censor’s approval. A dish from Hitler’s dining room at Berchtesgaden. The monogrammed cuff links of a well-known Munich gestapo chief.

Burg picked up something close to what he was after. It was a lighter made of brass, its shape falling somewhere between a cylinder and a rectangle. One side was blank, the other adorned with the twin lightning bolts of the Waffen-SS. Above the lightning bolts was a year, 1941, and above that the initials L.F. He pulled the cap end off to reveal a flint wheel. He pictured a man in the rain in Poland or Russia, working the wheel with his thumb, flicking away, fighting the damp and the wind... and the pleasure of the smoke, a little break from his grim work. “This is nice,” Burg said.

“Yes, the lightning bolts are a good touch. Not everyone appreciates them as much. Everyone wants the eagle and the swastika.”

Burg looked it over, making a show of considering it. “Any others like this? This one’s in a bit of bad shape.”

Burg depended on Fuchs’s pride, and his German sense of order. Fuchs pulled out several more lighters and set them with care on a velvet display mat. From the adjacent drawer several Third Reich ashtrays appeared. And from the drawer under that came what Burg was after. Three mint-condition silver cigaret cases.

“Ah,” Burg said, “these are lovely.” He began examining the cigaret cases. The first was a plain rectangle with a thin blue framing line, a thin circle in the same blue, and a black swastika in the center. The second was more detailed and quite a find for a collector. In the center of it was the ubiquitous eagle with its wings draped down dramatically over a swastika. Below that was an inscription in initials of the National Sozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei, with a place and date:

N-S-D-A-P

Nürnberg

1935

Impressive, but it wasn’t really what Burg was after.

The third case was a rectangle like the others, but rounded at the top and bottom. In the center was a crest with the Waffen-SS lightning bolts. The bottom corners below that featured two other decorations. In one corner lay a small eagle, the wings spread, the talons resting on a round crest with a swastika. Out of the other corner grew a small flower. Burg patted around his pockets for his reading glasses to get a better look. Coming up empty, he took a magnifying glass Fuchs kept at the ready. Burg held the glass between his face and the cigaret case, stretching his arm out to hold the case farther out, shifting the glass back and forth until the image of an edelweiss blossom came into perfect, brilliant view.

This third cigaret case was the one he wanted. He had seen it before, or at least he had seen a near copy of it, coming out of the jacket of Polizeihauptkommissar Gunter Schmidt.

Later, Burg found himself in front of a machine that made little sense and frustrated him. He’d wanted to look through old newspapers, so he’d driven to the university library in Wurzburg. It seemed the logical receptacle for old back issues of Bild, Suddeutstches Zeitung, Frankfurter Algemeine, Main-Post. He had spent so many years licking his index finger, making it tacky to lift the bottom corner of a page, to separate it from the others underneath it. But this machine... damn this machine.

Microfilm, they called it. The newspaper became tiny images on strips of celluloid, and a man had to feed these strips into a machine to enlarge these images back to the size they once were when they were perfectly good newspapers. Spools of this stuff threading through this machine. Attach the end to a receiving spool, turn a little handle and watch the images spin past on the screen, and stop and look, and notice you’ve gone too far, a week or a month past what you were looking for, and then turn the little handle on the other side to back up, and then maybe you would find the page with the date and the headline you were looking for. There had to be a better way.

At first, Burg had started with back issues of magazines, three-year-old copies of Der Spiegel, something he could still put his hands to. In an issue from 1974, he read about the release of the Maschke Commission report on German prisoners of war in the Soviet Union. The report was a horror show — a million dead or more, forced labor, a prolonged vengeance for years after the end of the war. Burg knew most of this, or guessed at it based on the talk among old men at Eberman’s Keller and other places he drank. He had himself been a POW in England after he was captured in France in 1944. In England, he’d worked on farms, he’d had little to eat, and once a guard cracked a rifle butt across his head. He’d been kicked in the groin and old women spat on him. But still, the stories of the East were far worse.

What he was really after was information on those prisoners kept long after the rest returned. While he came home to rubble and food shortages, to girls turning tricks to GIs for salt and butter, thousands of Germans stayed prisoners of a war that was over. Burg had no time to read the entire Maschke report, but the Spiegel story would do. Yes, there were plenty of men released in 1946, but many were kept until 1949, four years after the end. And then there were the 85,000 or so kept even longer, until as late as 1956. A war over for eleven years and finally a man comes home. What kind of man could he be?

In a sidebar of the Spiegel story there was a timeline indicating key dates of the German POW experience in the Soviet Union. This was the shortcut Burg needed and it’s what led him to the microfilm collection. He guessed that the release and return of these long-lost soldiers would have made front-page news in 1949, 1953, and 1956.

He had been following a hunch for the last three years, ever since the Maschke report had first appeared and an acquaintance at Eberman’s had that same edition of Der Spiegel on the bar opened to the same story. Burg was ignoring the news that day, like most days he spent at Eberman’s. His mind was on other things more pressing, like how he was going to report all the hours he spent at the bar as if he were out in the field on assignment, investigating the petty crimes of Bad Kissingen. But the acquaintance at the bar mentioned the name of someone Burg knew. He said this fellow, the one Burg knew, was in one of those camps for years, long after most of the regular Wehrmacht soldiers were released in 1949. The Soviets claimed these fellows were war criminals, troublemakers, not just regular soldiers caught up in the grind of the German war machine, and so they had to serve long sentences handed down by Soviet tribunals. But then how did you square that with the case of Karl Heinz Vogeley, released in 1953 at age twenty-four? It was right there, a little human interest follow-up right after that hard journalism on the Maschke report. Little Karl Heinz would have been all of sixteen in 1945. How was this kid a hardened anticommunist, a die-hard National Socialist? He toiled for eight years in a copper mine in Kazakhstan, purgatory for the sins of the German high command, for the Waffen-SS, for the Battle of Moscow, for the Siege of Leningrad. Little Karl Heinz paid for all the wounds his country had inflicted on Mother Russia.

And now Burg was looking for another long-lost boy in the monochromatic frames of the microfilm. The Donaukurier. It was the daily paper of Ingolstadt, a city two hours south by autobahn from Bad Kissingen.

The frames moved by, Burg stopping to scan the front page of each daily edition.

24 Dezember, 1953.

25 Dezember, 1953.

26 Dezember, 1953.

27 Dezember, 1953.

28 Dezember, 1953.

Stop. Burg read the headline. “Returned from Russia: A Joyous Reunion.” Below the headline a photo of a thin, wan young man. On his left, a reserved delight beaming from his father’s hard and cracked face. On his right, his mother wrapped in a long wool coat, dark handbag hooked into the crook of her elbow, her soft face betraying sorrow, her tears lost in the poor resolution of the microfilm.

Burg’s eyes went back to the young man in the middle, just to make certain. Burg read the caption below the photo, growing confident in his certainty. It was a young, broken, and reborn Gunter Mathäus Schmidt.

So much of detective work is looking for the truth among lies. Finding a true fact about Schmidt nearly elicited a feeling of pride in Burg. Ever since Schmidt rose to the rank of Polizeihauptkommissar, Burg wondered about the mystery of his past. Maybe it was resentment in Burg. To have a younger boss, someone still in short pants when Burg was already in boots and helmet. Now he was the chief, passing around orders, calling Burg into the office, the field marshal to the underling.

But Burg knew Schmidt didn’t deserve his resentment. Burg himself had never aspired to Hauptkommissar, so why hold Schmidt’s ambition against him? Over the years, Burg was content to punch the clock at the end of the day, spend his wages at Eberman’s, direct his energy toward leisure rather than rank. Once, a girlfriend asked him why he wasn’t more ambitious. Her question provoked the rare occasion when Burg would even consider the topic. He supposed that it had to do with the war. There were too many men dead for what seemed like nothing. Let Schmidt have his office. Give me life, Burg thought, just give me life. He would be content with good food, schnapps, and the company of a favorite woman. And a pension to carry him to the grave, but only after he was finished with living.

Burg couldn’t gather all the evidence on Schmidt, but it was always his way to guess at the truth after collecting insufficient evidence. That was the kind of detective he was. And what did Burg guess?

He guessed Schmidt was one of those teenagers called up in the waning days of defeat. Well indoctrinated but poorly trained, they were true believers to the end, dying easily for a lost cause. If Schmidt had been sixteen in 1945, that would have made him four in 1933, making the Third Reich all he would have known. It made sense for boys like him to fight to the end. They had no other Germany to dream of. No Weimar before, no Wirtschaftswunder — the postwar economic miracle — after. Harder to guess was why, of all those captured, Schmidt was held longest by the Soviets? Were these boys like Schmidt the best workers, or the most recalcitrant? Were their Third Reich ways too hard to work out of them — or too hard to beat out?

All of these thoughts floated through Burg’s mind as he faded in and out in his armchair. After wrestling with the microfilm machine for several hours, he’d driven back to Bad Kissingen and gorged himself at Eberman’s on half a roast chicken, washing it down with several beers. Afterwards, he’d called Ursula and then Traudl but got only the buzz of unanswered phones. His third choice for company that night was the remains of a bottle of Jack Daniel’s he’d scored off an American source at Daley Barracks, and now that sat empty in his lap as his head dropped in sleep, then snapped back up awake. He was in the in-between world.

Later, he found himself in his bed, his body horizontal, his clothes still on. How he’d gotten there he wasn’t sure, but true sleep was coming on.

In his sleep he dreamed. It was the dream of a dead girl. Not the one in the park, his murder case, but a different girl. She is walking through a snowy forest in Poland. It is 1939. Burg is a private. He is slim and handsome. He carries his rifle, his Karabiner 98K. This is the first of six years of war that will take him to Poland, to Greece and Italy, and finally to France, where it will end for him, his hands raised high with hope as he steps out from a French farmhouse, greeted by boys from Kansas and Missouri restraining with all their might the desire to shoot down this damn Kraut.

But first, Poland. In the dream, Burg walks the girl through the woods. He watches the snowflakes catch in her brown hair. He sees her frozen pink hands raised in the air, her fingers trembling with the fear. He shifts the bolt on his rifle, sets the Mauser cartridge into the chamber. He tells her to stop at the ditch. Halt. A single word, German, but these Poles know its meaning. He raises his rifle. Sets his finger on the trigger...

In the dream he takes his finger off the trigger. In the dream. He looks around to see that all his comrades have retreated back into the town. It’s just Burg and the girl. He points his rifle up in the air and fires. The girl startles from the noise. He steps up to her, turns her around, stares in her face, and says, Run! He gestures with his hand into the forest, away from the village, away from where his comrades are gathering her friends, her cousins, her uncles, her grandparents. She moves at first with caution, her eyes not leaving him, and then soon she sprints between the trees and disappears.

In his dream, Burg has saved the dead girl.

Monday morning and there was the hangover again, the late arrival, and the young officers noticing. Schmidt called Burg into his office and wanted to know about the progress on the murder case. “It was the weekend,” Burg said, and how could he possibly make progress on the case on his day off. Without saying it exactly, Schmidt made it clear to Burg there were no days off on murder cases.

Burg went back to his desk and looked over the file on the dead girl in the park. Two gunshot wounds through the back. Exit wounds through the front, staining red the good green grass of the Kurpark. A university student from Hamburg, her parents surprised to find her spending the season in Bad Kissingen. Wasn’t she supposed to be in Berlin working jobs in the pubs and cafes during a long break from studies? Instead of cleaning hotel rooms in a Bavarian spa town. Not like a northern girl to choose provincial Bavaria over Berlin. One suspect — a GI from Daley Barracks seen taking her to a film the night before. Logan’s Run, a science-fiction fantasy playing at the cinema they had over there in their little American village. A pretty German girl on a date with a GI among all those Yanks — she stood out, and there were witnesses who watched her leave with the lucky GI, the two of them walking out into Bad Kissingen while a hundred other GIs retreated to the lonely beds of the barracks.

Burg flipped back to the first few pages, the crime-scene data. There it was, a number that puzzled him — nine millimeter. The ballistics report. Over at Daley Barracks the Americans had every weapon you could imagine. Rifles, tanks, artillery, nuclear-tipped shells. Pistols too, but not the nine millimeter. If that lucky GI killed the girl in the park, if he were to shoot her, it wouldn’t be with a nine millimeter. The Americans had their own pistols, their own special cowboy caliber, distinct from every German gun available to criminals and cops. The .45-caliber. The Colt 1911. They’d carried that pistol through two wars here, and more in other parts of the world.

Burg leaned back in his chair, the springs moaning against his great weight. He glanced over at the other two detectives. Waigl was typing, the coffee on his desk shaking in the cup as he banged at the machine. Trautman cradled a phone in his shoulder and dug in his pocket for a cigaret or a pen. Burg pulled out his Marlboros, walked over to Trautman, and pushed a cigaret up out of the box. Trautman took it with a head nod, never breaking from his phone conversation. Burg pulled one out for himself, lit it, then walked over to the window and gazed out into the street.

Across the way there were apartments with flower boxes, bright bougainvillea lighting up the day. If he looked at the scene just right, he saw a checkered pattern, splotches of magenta against a yellow plaster facade. For a moment his mind drifted to a chess match he had nearly lost. In the match, he had saved himself when he imagined a solution inconsistent with the inevitable. He played to a draw, and that draw was more satisfying than any checkmate.

For the girl in the park, the inevitable solution was for her to die for love — a troubled American soldier she was leaving, a young man wound up with jealousy and violence. A domestic case one could wrap up in a single day... if the case belonged to any other detective than the incompetent Hans Burg. But for Burg, the numbers didn’t add up: 9—.45— 1911—2. The calibers, the pistol, and the two shots that were more execution than lover’s rage.

Once, Burg had scolded a young officer for obsessing too much over the details of paperwork. He had said, “We are investigators, not accountants.” And now he was ready to eat his words.

A week went by. Schmidt made arrangements for the arrest of the young GI. It was a delicate situation. There was a treaty, the Status of Forces Agreement, or SOFA. The Americans protected their soldiers, requiring their own jurisdiction and custody when at all possible. It wasn’t so easy for German policemen to arrest American soldiers, so Schmidt waited on Burg, expecting an airtight case. As Burg dragged on, the officers at the station became more and more baffled. How could Schmidt let this go on, leaving Waigl and Trautman to minor burglaries and stolen mopeds?

Burg was chasing a lead, and it was like he was a young man again, alive with purpose. His lead had nothing to do with the GI over at the American garrison. His lead ran through the daily tabloid called Bild. It was the same newspaper the old man from the shop read, the most popular newspaper in Germany, known for its enormous, inflammatory headlines. For this lead Burg didn’t need the microfilm machine, just the back issues stacked up in the corner of his kitchen. He took his long lunches there, hunched over grey bread and cold meat — Blutwurst and Leberkase — poring over the newsprint and clipping out stories on the Red Army Faction, also known as the Baader-Meinhof gang. Their leaders were in jail now, rotting at the prison in Stammheim, but still their disciples were active. First he clipped a story only a month old, of a kidnapping gone wrong. September 5, 1977. Hanns Martin Schleyer, an industrialist, was snatched from his chauffeured Mercedes by Red Army Faction commandos. They killed the chauffer and three police officers, and Schleyer was still missing. Then a story of a banker killed in his home, a failed kidnapping — July 30, 1977. Jurgen Ponto, when confronted in his home by three would-be kidnappers, resisted, and they shot him. There were more stories of bombings and bank robberies. There were editorials accusing the communists in East Germany of supplying the Red Army Faction with training and weapons. It went like that for the first few long lunches, working backwards, until, to Burg’s embarrassment, he realized he had nearly two years’ worth of Bild he had failed to dispose of. The clippings ran back all the way to July 1975, to a story on the occupation of the West German embassy in Stockholm, also ending badly — four killed, two of them the young radicals carrying out the mission. Burg would spread the clippings out on his floor, leave for the office, and continue on at his desk, figuring. He’d bang away at his typewriter now and then to make it look like he was writing up the perfect investigative report for the GI’s arrest, but mostly he was just thinking. Sometimes he imagined Schmidt peering through the glass of the door to his office, watching him, and Burg wondered how long it would be before he was caught loafing. Linking paper clips together, sharpening pencils, twirling the grey dust of the ashtray with the latest cigaret stub.

Nights he’d go to Eberman’s Keller, drink beer, eat schnitzel and sauerbraten, work chess puzzles from newspapers better than Bild, and think about the dead girl in the park. He put it together in his head why she was in Bad Kissingen instead of Berlin, where a smart Hamburg girl on a break from university should have been. It all started with one of his clippings. At first he glanced past it, in a hurry to collect as many clippings as possible on the Red Army Faction. But then it stared at him from the floor, confirming a hunch he’d had since the day he’d discovered the girl was from Hamburg. No big-city girl like her would want to spend a season in Bad Kissingen tending to the needs of hypochondriacs with money. The clipping, dated January 7, 1977, told the story of an attack on the U.S. installation at Giessen. Bild described a band of “leftist urban terrorists” attacking the “unconfirmed” nuclear arsenal, with all known assailants killed in the action. It was tough going trying to break onto an American military base when you were, as Bild described them, “dead-end gangsters playing at revolution.” But what if you could simply walk on to such a place? Invited? And a pretty girl?

Schmidt was at his wit’s end with Burg. “Have the report done now, no excuses. Don’t let me see you leave this office until it’s finished.” That’s what he told Burg at five o’clock on a Friday. So Burg stayed in the office instead of initiating his usual weekend of drinking and eating too much. The station emptied out, leaving only Burg in the detectives’ office. There were a few men out in town on patrol, and a single officer at the duty desk downstairs. It was a quiet Friday evening, like most nights in Bad Kissingen. Burg could hear the phone ringing, hear the officer downstairs answer it, listen, hang up, then say something into the radio, dispatching the men in town to some minor trouble.

Burg opened the bottom drawer of his desk and pulled out a small bottle. It was a pint of Jim Beam a GI from Daley Barracks had given him. Burg had kept quiet about some small trouble the GI had in town, trouble the GI didn’t want getting back to his commanding officer, and the whiskey was a gift, a thank you. Burg began to unscrew the top, but then thought better of it. He put the bottle back in the drawer, pulled out a sheet of paper, and loaded it into his typewriter. A report, that’s what Hauptkommissar Schmidt wanted. Burg looked at the clock, six now. He began typing, poking at the keys with just his two index fingers, the little hammers splashing ink onto the page, the quiet of the office broken by a rhythmic ticking, the machine echoing out like a noisy clock. By nine o’clock he was finished. He gathered up the papers and slipped them neatly into a folder. He thought about that bottle in his desk, began to pull the drawer open, then heard voices from downstairs. Someone talking to the duty officer. Footsteps up the stairs after that, and, before he could think, there was Schmidt at the edge of his desk.

Schmidt whipped out his arm dramatically and gazed at his watch. “Well, what is it, Herr Burg? Have you finished the report?”

Burg lifted the folder from his desk. “Here it is, Herr Schmidt.”

With a quick jerk, Schmidt snapped the folder out of Burg’s hand. “Wait here. I’m going to my office to read through it. I’ll call for you when I’m through. This had better be in order.”

Burg watched Schmidt enter his private office. The door closed and he saw the desk lamp come on. Now was the time for that drink. He pulled out the bottle of Jim Beam and took a long pull on it. He read the label, “Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey.” He thought about the old man in the shop, and his grandson somewhere over there in Kentucky — Radcliffe, the old man had said. He waited, knowing Schmidt was reading his own indictment and certainly not liking it.

After about twenty minutes, he heard the door open, heard Schmidt’s voice, the chief’s voice. “Herr Burg. A word in my office.”

Burg stood up, his back stiff from the long day in the chair. He walked through the dark office, the only light from the lamp on his desk and the one glowing in Schmidt’s office. He crossed the threshold into Schmidt’s office and there was the shadow of a gunman against the desk lamp, Schmidt behind his desk, the nine-millimeter pistol gripped in his hand, and it was pointing at Burg.

“Herr Burg, you are not the detective I thought you were.”

Burg looked at the pistol. “Is that the one you used to kill the girl in the park?”

Schmidt twisted the pistol up, gazed at its profile. “This thing. It was mine during the war. When I went off to Russia, I left it with my parents. I told them to shoot looters with it.”

“Is that a Luger? I thought after the war they were all bought up by GIs looking for souvenirs. You remember, people were hungry and they’d sell anything, and the GIs had money and cigarets.”

“My father never did shoot any looters. But he swore to return this pistol to me when I returned from Russia. He had no idea how long it would take. I think holding on to it gave him hope of my return.” Schmidt pointed the pistol back at Burg. “Sit down, Herr Burg.”

Burg moved to the chair opposite the desk, the one he jokingly called the interrogation chair, because every meeting he’d had with Schmidt felt that way.

“That girl, she was one of those radicals. When she came into town, an old friend working in the Federal Intelligence Service called me. Did you know these little delinquents are getting direction from the Stasi in Berlin? Going around robbing banks, kidnapping good citizens, and God knows what she was up to with the Americans over there.” Schmidt pointed the pistol in the direction of Daley Barracks. “Stealing guns... or bombs, maybe.”

“But you didn’t have to kill her. Couldn’t you just have arrested her?”

“Twelve years I spent in a labor camp in Russia to come home to children collaborating with the same people who kept me there. Come on, you have to feel the same. Did the two of us watch so many of our friends die fighting the communists on the Eastern Front just to see these children play at leftist games? Calling us criminals because we were willing to die for our country? This generation, they have no idea.”

“She would have gone to prison.”

“Prison? I know something about prison. What these radicals get, with their lawyers and their special treatment and the newspapers covering their every word, that’s not prison. The Russians, now they know how to imprison a man. Punish you for your thoughts. Our jailors today, they are too afraid to punish — not like before.”

“Not like the Gestapo?”

Schmidt fell silent. With the gun still on Burg, he lifted a sheet from Burg’s report and gazed at it. “I picked you to investigate this case because—”

“Because you thought I would fail.”

“That’s right. The drunk slob. Smelling of liquor after lunch, leaving early, arriving late. I was certain you would just go through the motions.”

Burg shrugged his shoulders. “What can I say?”

“What put you on my trail? That’s what I can’t figure out.”

“It was purely a coincidence.”

“Explain.”

“I guess it started when you became my boss. Taking orders from someone ten years younger, it can bother a man. One day, I saw that old silver cigaret case of yours. I remembered it from before. I’d had one myself. I got to thinking about why a man would carry around an old Third Reich relic like that in his pocket. Day in and day out reaching for it, pulling out a cigaret, what, ten or twenty times a day?... and with each occasion to be reminded of something the whole country would rather forget.”

“There’s no forgetting. Spend a decade digging ditches, picking at rocks in dirty Russian mines, and you would understand.”

“You are right, Herr Schmidt. The girl, you know, and all those leftist radicals, they agree with you. What is it Meinhof says, they strike at the ‘old fascists still running the country’? See, they haven’t forgotten. They won’t let go of the past either.”

“That’s not what I mean. I’m talking about all the sacrifices we made to beat back the communists. And these children embracing their ideas. It’s an insult.”

“Maybe you’re right. But an execution? For some silly girl with her head full of ideas?”

“That’s what we did to partisans.”

“...and children and grandmothers too.”

Another silence hit the room, both men twisting in their separate memories. Sitting there, Burg wondered if the nightmare would visit him again that night. The girl with the snowflakes in her hair. Would she die again, or would she escape into the woods, the version he preferred, the nightmare revised?

Schmidt said, “You’ll never be able to prove any of this. It’s all speculation. All you have are the ballistics from the bullets, and I’ve got the gun. There is no tracing it, so that’s easy to take care of.”

“So maybe you were right to choose me. I’m a lousy detective after all.”

“I’ll give the case to Trautman or Waigl. One of them will determine the case against the GI boyfriend is a dead end, so the murder will go unsolved.”

“You could do that.”

“But then what am I to do with you?”

Burg paused for a long moment. He thought about all the life he still wanted to live. “As you wish... But if you’re going to shoot me, I would like to at least request one last cigaret.”

Schmidt pulled out the old silver case and offered a cigaret to Burg. Burg pulled up from his chair, leaned over the desk, and Schmidt reached up to light the cigaret. Before Burg could sit again, he said, “May I?” his hand out to the cigaret case. Schmidt passed it to him and Burg sat back in the chair to enjoy the smoke and examine the case. The lightning bolts and the eagle were much faded, but the edelweiss in the corner seemed to swell as if it had bloomed only yesterday.

Burg set the case down on Schmidt’s desk and sat back to pull on his cigaret. Schmidt took the case, drew his own cigaret, and added a second point of red light to the dim illumination of the desk lamp. A cloud of smoke gathered on the ceiling. Before too long there was nothing left for Burg to smoke, so he leaned over to kill the stub in the crystal ashtray on Schmidt’s desk. Now there was just the picture of Schmidt for Burg to look at — the gun still trained on him, Schmidt slowly smoking his own cigaret, his face and all that it expressed lost in the shadow of the lamp. Burg thought, will he wait to finish his cigaret before he shoots me? And then Schmidt’s hand moved toward the ashtray, pressing the remains of the cigaret on the glass.

“You’ve got a bottle in your desk,” Schmidt said.

“You know about that?”

“Of course. Go get it. We’ll have a drink.”

Burg stood up, and again his back ached. He walked out of Schmidt’s private office, and he thought of those other occasions he’d escaped death. In Kursk, when his own artillery managed to kill all the men in his squad save for him. In Normandy, when he raised his arms in surrender, never sure if he would be shot in the back by his own, or in the front by trigger-happy GIs.

Move to the desk, he thought, take out the bottle, then make a dash for the stairs. Surely, Schmidt won’t risk shooting me then. He stepped over to the desk, rolled open the bottom drawer, lifted the Jim Beam from its hiding spot, and almost dropped it when the snap of gunfire startled him. A single shot and he hadn’t fallen, wasn’t bleeding, wasn’t dead. He twisted in the direction of Schmidt’s office. He paused in wonder, then heard the steps of the duty officer, his shoes rapidly slapping the stairs.

Out of breath, the duty officer appeared from the light of the stairway. “What’s going on?”

“Over there,” Burg said. “It came from Schmidt’s office.”

The duty officer looked at Burg, expecting him to do something. When Burg failed to move, the duty officer shook his head. The incompetent Kommissar Burg, once again. He dashed to Schmidt’s office, and Burg followed slowly behind.

In the office, Schmidt slumped forward, his face on the desk, an exit wound at the back of his head, the pistol still smoking in his hand.

“Go call an ambulance,” Burg said.

“But—”

“Just do it. Don’t touch anything here. Use the phone on my desk.”

The duty officer seemed to be trembling. “But—”

Burg gripped him around the arm to steady him. “Yes, I know. He’s probably dead. But just in case. Go now. Call the ambulance.”

The duty officer did as he was told. Burg realized he still had the bottle of Jim Beam in his hand. He unscrewed the cap and took a long drink.

He imagined that in the end Schmidt must have done some of his own accounting. If he let Burg live, he was caught for the murder of the girl. If he killed Burg, Trautman or Waigl, better detectives than Burg, would find something fishy in a dead Burg with a gunshot wound in Schmidt’s office. Either way, prison was certain, and Schmidt had already given enough years to that.

Burg could hear the duty officer now speaking frantically into the phone and knew he didn’t have much time. He put the bottle into his pocket and stepped over to Schmidt’s desk. He tugged on the folder under Schmidt’s head, pulling the report out. Schmidt’s blood smeared the pages. He carefully folded it all together to contain the stains and slipped the whole thing into his jacket. One last thing to do: He walked around the desk, lifted Schmidt slightly, pulled the cigaret case from his pocket, and placed it in his own.

When the duty officer returned, Burg said, “I heard he’d been depressed lately. Something about his wife... or cancer... or maybe his wife had cancer... I’m not sure.”

There are some things, Burg thought, that all the spas in Bad Kissingen couldn’t cure. Cancer was one. A broken heart was another. And certain soldier’s wounds... especially those of the mind.

Murder on Rue Royal

by Angela Crider Neary

Angela Crider Neary is an attorney, an avid mystery reader, and, since 2015 when her children’s mystery Li’l Tom and the Pussyfoot Detective Bureau: The Case of the Parrots Desaparecidos was published, a mystery writer. This is her EQMM debut, but part of her name will be familiar to regular EQMM readers. Her father, Bill Crider, reviews as well as writes fiction for EQMM.

* * *

Cafe Alcide, New Orleans, LA—

The height of the dinner hour

The infamous food critic, his peculiarly gaunt frame led by his pompous, upturned nose, paraded into Cafe Alcide through its ornate foyer as if he owned the place. And in a way, he did. If his review was in the least bit sour, the flourishing business ran the risk of its forward momentum screeching to a halt and reversing course, possibly plunking into the abyss of bankruptcy. His every sense pulsated with the power this gave him. It was a thrill like no other, the way he held someone’s career in his palm, ready to crush it, or, on the other hand, the way he could elevate someone’s reputation to the stars, making that person forever in his debt.

They had to know how to play the game for things to go their way, however, and it was surprising how many of them were clueless, especially in this city with its history of graft and corruption. To his chagrin, much of the bribery and crookedness he was used to benefiting from was fading into the past. No matter. He had milked the system for so long that he could retire a wealthy man, but, of course, he would continue to snatch what he could get until the nefarious opportunities dried up.

“Reservation for Niles Breaux,” he said, leering at the pretty young hostess with what he hoped was a come-hither look. From her expression of shocked repugnance, he felt he might have missed the mark.

He thrummed his fingers on the reception counter and heaved a loud sigh while the hostess fumbled to locate his reservation. They knew he was coming, so why weren’t they ready for him? So disrespectful! They weren’t starting off on the right foot. And this chef was in desperate need of redemption after his last review. He had put the unfortunate man straight into the poorhouse with the stroke of a pen. As if it weren’t enough that the chef had failed to slide him his expected “gratuity,” the food was not fit for the rats that roamed the Quarter’s restaurant Dumpsters, seeking discarded delicacies on which to feast — at least in his opinion — or maybe he was just in a bad mood that night. Whichever. It had better be spectacular this time, and a kickback wouldn’t hurt, although he was due to give a good review — he couldn’t condemn every place he dined at or he would lose credibility — so the chef might just get lucky if he served him an extraordinary meal.

“Right this way, Mr. Breaux,” said the timid hostess.

She led him to his table, the best in the house, with a view of the entire dining room, its exquisite white tablecloths glowing warmly in the dim light from the twinkling crystal chandeliers, and provided him with a wine list and the menu. She then scampered away from him as if making an escape, before he could even ask for her phone number. Lacking self-awareness, as narcissists are prone to be, he wondered why he always had that effect on people. He didn’t linger on this thought, however, and turned his attention to the menu.

“I’ll have the chef’s special, the Redfish Court-Bouillon,” he told the waiter, “and a bottle of your lightest Pinot Noir.”

“Aye-aye, sir! I mean, excellent choice, sir!” said the waiter, and scuttled into the kitchen.

What is wrong with all these people? Niles wondered.

While the waiter served the wine, the main dish arrived at Niles’s table on an elegant silver tray, with the chef himself attached to it.

Bonsoir, Mr. Breaux, and welcome to Cafe Alcide,” said the chef through a clench-teethed smile, as he placed the court-bouillon before the critic. “I hope this is to your liking.”

You better hope it is, thought Niles, as he raised his spoon high into the air for drama’s sake. He was aware that all eyes in the restaurant were on him, and he reveled in it. With his spoon still lifted, he took an ample whiff of the luscious stew. He had to admit, he liked what he smelled. He just had to decide whether he would let anyone else know this.

“Not too fishy,” he said, “and do I detect a hint of soy sauce and ginger in the roux? Kind of heavy on the celery... but I do like my roughage.”

The chef stood before him with a fixed smile on his face, awaiting the verdict.

The lanky critic plunged the spoon into the steaming stew and placed a generous taste into his mouth. He savored it for a moment, then swallowed. The patrons in the cafe drew in a collective gasp, holding their breaths.

Niles shut his eyes for a moment as if in thoughtful reverie.

“Not bad,” said the critic, and the room burst into applause.

The chef nodded his head in appreciation and returned to the kitchen without a word to the critic. Niles continued to shovel in the delicious stew while enjoying the wine. But as he was preparing to finish his last sips and bites and anticipating the dessert menu, he began to experience a sharp discomfort in his abdomen. He bent over in pain, salivating profusely, and vomited onto the floor. The guests seated nearest the critic leapt out of their chairs and began shouting. Hearing the disturbance, the chef raced out of the kitchen into the dining room.

As the chef approached, Niles drew in a sharp breath and threw back his head with a wide-eyed stare. His face blossomed into a bright purple, and he began to convulse and grasp at the tablecloth, clattering glass and silverware all about. He panted, hyperventilating, and lurched back and forth in his chair as if on a crazed rocking horse. Several waiters attempted to restrain him, but he shook them off as he continued his apoplectic spasms.

“Somebody call nine-one-one!” yelled one of the restaurant guests.

“Do the Heimlich!” yelled another.

Heeding this latter advice, the sommelier attempted to grab the slight man from behind, but not before the poor critic’s paroxysms ended with a sardonic grin at the chef and a face-plant right into what was left of the court-bouillon.

“Glad I ordered the étouffée,” whispered another patron to his dining companion as the sound of ambulance sirens fused and collided in disharmony with the music of the brass band outside on the street corner.

The French Quarter—

Earlier that day

Clouds of steamy, foglike moisture, mixed with the aromas of discarded cigarets, spilled Hurricanes, soapy suds, and whatever else the morning street cleaning had left behind, twisted and swirled around Jean-Claude’s ankles as he strolled down Royal Street in the early-morning dawn. This was his favorite time of day in the French Quarter, before the locals ventured out to their jobs and the tourists awoke with their debauchery-induced hangovers to begin another day of sightseeing and revelry. The day was quiet as the sun made its languid rise over the Mississippi River, and he and a handful of other early risers had the Quarter to themselves, in stark contrast to the crowded cacophony and madness that the Quarter boasted at other times of the day or night.

Jean-Claude made a slight detour over to Decatur to peruse the fresh-vegetable stalls at the French Market and see what looked good today. He ordered a plethora of tomatoes, mushrooms, and leafy greens for pickup later by his staff. He then swung by for his favorite breakfast — three sugar-coated, greasy, and piping-hot beignets and a cafe au lait made with chicory coffee and whole milk from Cafe Du Monde. And he wondered why he was getting so round!

“Why do you go to that touristy place, Jean-Claude?” his food-snob friends would ask. They all touted Cafe Beignet or even the gourmet beignets made in many of the high-end restaurants that clamored for space and significance in this food-centric city. These were all good options, but Cafe Du Monde remained his favorite. Maybe it was because he remembered what a treat it had been when his granny used to take him there after church if he was good in Sunday School. The beignets tasted the same now as they had way back then.

Jean-Claude Alcide was a native son of New Orleans. His ancestors had immigrated to New Orleans from Haiti in the 1700s, soon after the Haitian revolution, and many of them had remained there ever since. Although he had lived in the Crescent City all his life, Jean-Claude never took for granted its history, mystery, and traditions. These were the things about the city that kept his spirit alive, and also kept him in business. For Jean-Claude was a chef, and a lauded chef, at that. At least, at one time he had been lauded, he recalled with a smile that quickly faded, until that filthy prick of a critic had panned his restaurant. Business had slowed almost to a dead halt after that. It had picked up a little bit after the initial fuss, but nothing like it had been, and he’d eventually had to shutter the once successful enterprise.

But after a brief period of wallowing in self-pity, he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and begun the arduous process of starting a new venture. His strenuous efforts had paid off, and his new restaurant, Cafe Alcide, his namesake, had become more popular than his first endeavor had ever been, with locals and tourists alike.

He was now at a crossroads in his career and poised to be the next big chef in the cooking community. In several weeks, he would be entering a dish in a special cooking contest to be held during French Quarter Fest and to be hosted and judged by some of the top restaurateurs in the nation, which, if he won, could skyrocket him into fame and fortune. The competition for this contest was cutthroat, and he had been surprised at the stories he had heard of chefs’ attempts to sabotage each other in order to win the top prize in years past. In fact, a fellow chef he thought of as a friend had recently been taunting him about the contest — almost as if he were trying to intimidate him into not entering. Chef Alistair Bitterman owned a popular oyster house in the Quarter, just down the street from Cafe Alcide, where Jean-Claude would often drop in for a soothing post-work cocktail. He didn’t understand Alistair’s animosity, as there were plenty of business opportunities and accolades to go around in a city like this where eating and drinking were the name of the game.

Alistair, however, had been going through some hard times, he had confided to Jean-Claude, both professionally and personally. “My wife has left me for my Cuban busboy, run off to the Keys to raise chickens and drink mojitos,” he had told Jean-Claude one night after a few too many Pimm’s Cups. Also, Alistair’s oyster-house business had slowed due to the closing of many of the major oyster beds he relied upon for his supply. A “red tide” algae bloom in the Gulf had halted the harvesting of oysters. “And aside from all that, people now think the oysters will make them sick!” he had said.

These things had caused Alistair to fall into a deep funk. Jean-Claude knew that Alistair had always struggled with depression, but it was now worse than ever. Alistair had resorted to buying imported Chinese herbal-medicine balls from a shady character in the Quarter, and made them into tea to treat his condition. He used them sparingly, however, as they were rumored to contain trace amounts of arsenic, although he couldn’t be sure of what the ingredients were. Perhaps they were working to lift his spirits, but Jean-Claude couldn’t tell much of a difference. “If I could win that cooking contest,” Alistair had said, “that would be my ticket out of depression and into the big time.”

As Jean-Claude continued his walk through the Quarter, he dismissed thoughts of the cooking contest and focused on making it through tonight’s dinner service, when that dirty, rotten critic would make his second appearance in one of his establishments for a rematch. His blood boiled just thinking about it, but he had to remain calm and concentrate on the task at hand. And what a task it would be. But he knew he was up for it. He was prepared.

Jean-Claude had been trained in classic French techniques but, being from New Orleans, threw in a Cajun flair to spice things up. His sous-chef, Jimmy Lee, originally hailed from Japan, and together, they were experimenting at fusing the culinary cultures of France, Japan, and New Orleans. So far, they had been successful and had a large group of loyal customers.

Most of Jimmy Lee’s culinary training had occurred in Japan, and he had even completed a three-year apprenticeship in the art of preparing fugu — the poisonous pufferfish that many consider a delicacy. He had passed the onerous written and practical examinations needed to obtain a coveted license to prepare fugu, and he’d been pressuring Jean-Claude to obtain a fugu license for Cafe Alcide.

“When are you going to apply for that license, boss?” he had asked Jean-Claude just the other day. “I’m getting out of practice, for God’s sake. You never listen to my suggestions. I guess I’ll always just be your underling — never equal to the great Jean-Claude.”

Jimmy’s constant nagging and tantrum-throwing got to Jean-Claude, but only a few restaurants in the United States had managed to obtain such a license.

“I don’t see the need to risk serving poisonous fish when there are so many other delectable fish dishes the restaurant can offer,” he had told Jimmy. “Don’t get so worked up about it.”

“I could have some freeze-flown in and work my magic on it for our customers,” Jimmy had said. “Let me try, or I’ll leave this place and start my own restaurant. I’ll give you some real competition.”

Jean-Claude had just smiled. He thought Jimmy lacked the maturity to run his own restaurant, but he might get there someday, if he grew up a little and learned to control his hotheadedness.

Jean-Claude strolled through Jackson Square on his way back to Royal Street as he took the first few sweet bites of his breakfast, washing it down with a gulp of the strong coffee. The shadow of the magnificent St. Louis Cathedral spires loomed over him and cooled his shoulders as he continued on his path. He always felt a little anxious walking down Pere Antoine Alley, as folklore held that it was haunted by Father Antoine, a former priest at the church whose body was buried there. Jean-Claude didn’t believe in ghosts, but he couldn’t ignore his granny’s superstitions, with which he was bombarded his entire childhood, and every once in a while he would hear footsteps behind him, only to turn around and find that he was all alone in the alley. But it was better than walking down Pirate Alley on the other side of the cathedral, where he ran the risk of running into the ghost of the pirate Jean Lafitte. Only if you believed in that sort of thing, of course.

He turned down Royal to walk the few short blocks toward his restaurant. As he neared the cafe, he noticed Zelma Laveau, the proprietress of the voodoo shop next door to his cafe, standing in her doorway, staring at him. The story she propagated was that she was a distant relative of the infamous voodoo queen, Marie Laveau, but Jean-Claude thought this was just a pretense to attract business. He didn’t believe that she was a legitimate practitioner of the ancient voodoo rites. Although a bit on the strange side, she was nice enough, and he liked to maintain a good relationship with his neighbors. However, if he had been the superstitious sort, which he wasn’t, he might have thought she was giving him the evil eye that morning.

Bonjour, Zelma!” he said, raising a beignet-filled hand in greeting.

Zelma didn’t wave back, as her hands seemed to be occupied twisting something between them. She merely maintained her sinister glare at him.

As Jean-Claude stepped off the curb to cross the street toward her, his ankle bent under him and he almost took a spill onto the pavement, just before righting himself. “Aye-yee!” he yelped, bending over to rub his ankle. It wasn’t badly sprained, he thought, but it was a bit tender to the touch. When he recovered and started to limp across the street, Zelma had already disappeared into her shop.

Although there were many faux voodoo practitioners in New Orleans, Zelma thought of herself as the real deal, and she had built up quite a cadre of loyal followers. No, her name wasn’t really Laveau, but she thought it gave her a certain sense of authenticity, especially to the non-believers who found themselves desiring to believe. Her shop was candlelit, the odor of incense heavy in the air, and crowded with her wares. In addition to the touristy trinkets that kept her in business, her shelves were also crammed with herbs, nuts, seeds, weeds, roots — you name it — that she or her customers could use for gris-gris, spells, healing... and who knows what else.

Zelma didn’t like Jean-Claude one bit. He had barged into the neighborhood with his new restaurant, which on many lunch and dinner hours had a line out its door that looped in front of her store, blocking the view and entryway of passersby who might have wandered in to buy a candle, mask, or even a voodoo doll. Her business had suffered since Jean-Claude had moved in. But he would get his, she thought, as she walked into her shop, fiercely twisting the ankle of the corpulent little doll she held in her hands. Karma always makes its way around. And didn’t he know better than to mess with a genuine voodoo priestess?

In spite of his swollen ankle, which had gradually begun to turn green and yellow, Jean-Claude didn’t leave his feet the entire day, working and overseeing the preparation for the evening’s dinner service — pristine dining room, immaculate kitchen, and, of course, impeccable food. Jimmy was sullen that day and not of much help, but Jean-Claude didn’t have time for Jimmy’s moods and so paid him no mind. He had been readying himself for this night for days, hand-picking the ingredients for the evening’s specials himself. He stood in his silent kitchen once all his tasks were completed and the staff was on a break until the hectic dinner service began. He was alone for the moment, and let out a heavy, purging sigh. He thought he was ready. But was that dastardly critic?

New Orleans Police Department, 8th District—

The wee hours next morning

“I swear I didn’t do it. It wasn’t me, I tell ya,” said Jean-Claude for what seemed like the millionth time, dropping his haggard face into his hands in a vain attempt to rub away the horror of the last six or so hours. He had been sequestered at the Eighth District NOPD station since the gruesome incident at his restaurant earlier that evening. He had always admired the beauty of the historic building that, strolling by, you would never know was a police station, with its stately white columns and overhanging magnolia trees. The lobby area was more like a museum than a police department, displaying antique badges and guns in glass cases — it even had a T-shirt machine. But Jean-Claude was in no mood for kitschy souvenirs. And he could now attest that the place was not nearly as charming back in the interview-room area.

Detective Charles Rousseau, his grizzled, grayish-black hair protruding from his skull at all angles with the force of his constant rubbing and yanking, had grown weary of the chef’s denials. As a longtime veteran of the police force, the detective prided himself on his ability to read a suspect, and he was convinced that Jean-Claude was telling him the truth. And if he wasn’t telling the truth, he sure was a good liar. He had stuck to his story throughout the entire drawn-out interview, and didn’t seem close to cracking. The detective couldn’t let him off too easily and without a thorough interrogation, however. After all, a local celebrity critic had died at his restaurant by what appeared to be dubious means. They wouldn’t know for a few weeks, until the toxicology report was completed, but it looked like a classic case of poisoning to him. And Chef Alcide had the perfect motive.

“Look, Alcide,” said the detective, “what are we supposed to think? This guy dies at your restaurant after eating the food you personally serve him — and after he put you out of business a few years back. Who had more motive or opportunity to kill him than you?”

“That’s what I keep trying to tell ya,” said Jean-Claude. “There’s plenty of people who wanted that nasty bastard dead. And if I was gonna kill him, why would I do it at my own restaurant in front of dozens of people?”

“You’re not helping your case by calling him names,” said the detective. “Why would anyone else want him dead?”

“Well, there are hundreds of chefs and restaurant owners who have suffered after his destructive reviews. Not to mention the folks who would like to see me go down for this,” said Jean-Claude.

“What do you mean by that?” asked the detective. “What kind of enemies could a jolly chef in the Quarter have?” Now maybe they were getting somewhere.

“What do you mean by ‘jolly’? Are you referring to my full-figured physique, because that’s just uncalled for.”

“Just answer the question and quit stalling.”

“Well... how about that Chef Bitterman down the street?” asked Jean-Claude. “He’s jealous of my talents as a chef and has been pressuring me not to enter the French Quarter Fest cooking contest. I wouldn’t be surprised if he killed the guy just to make it look like I did it so he could win that stupid contest.”

“That’s stretching it a little thin, don’t you think?” asked Rousseau.

“Or how about my sous-chef, Jimmy Lee? He’s jealous of me as well and I don’t doubt he would like to see me go down so he could take over my business.”

“Wow, Alcide,” said Rousseau. “Way to throw your fellow chefs under the bus.”

“Okay,” said Jean-Claude, his eyes darting around the room as if he were attempting to pluck a suspect out of thin air, “then how about that wacky voodoo witch next door?”

“What about her? Why would she have anything to do with it?”

“I don’t know, but every time I see her I get a bad feeling in my gut. Come to think of it,” said Jean-Claude, “every time she’s around, I either get sick or injured somehow. I think she’s working her voodoo magic to get rid of me!”

Detective Rousseau gazed at Jean-Claude with red-rimmed eyes and decided that this night needed to be over. He didn’t have the heart or the will power to continue any further with the interrogation. “All right, Alcide, you can go. For now. We’ll look into your crazy allegations and you can bet we’ll be thorough in our investigation, but at this point, you’re our number-one suspect. As they say on TV, don’t leave the parish.”

Cafe Alcide—

Several weeks later

Jean-Claude had been on pins and needles for weeks, unable to concentrate on boiling an egg, much less on running his restaurant. He had arrived at the cafe this day at his usual hour, but under quite unusual circumstances. Detective Rousseau had asked to meet him there. Jean-Claude wasn’t sure whether to be worried since he wasn’t asked to report to the police station. Maybe that was a good sign.

When he arrived, things got even weirder. Jimmy Lee, Zelma Laveau, and Alistair Bitterman were there as well, at the detective’s request. They had all endured extensive questioning by the police, and even searches of their homes and places of business. The mood was less than festive, and they all stood around giving each other sceptical looks while waiting for the detective.

“I can’t believe you would implicate me in a crime such as this,” said Alistair to Jean-Claude. “I thought we were friends.”

“Yeah, man. What’s up with that?” asked Jimmy.

Zelma just gave Jean-Claude the stink-eye.

Jean-Claude opened his mouth to defend himself, but was cut short by the detective’s arrival.

“Hello, everyone,” said the detective, removing his fedora with a flourish, a lot peppier than he had been during their previous meetings. He was flanked by two hulking uniformed officers, with a third following behind. “Please have a seat. You might be wondering why I have called you all here today.”

“Just cut the drama and get on with it,” said Jean-Claude.

Not one to be deterred, the detective continued. “I find that returning to the scene of a crime provides the perfect closure and ambiance for confronting the perpetrator. And yes, I believe the perpetrator is in this very room.” The detective pounded on the table in front of him with each of these last three words.

The detective’s audience looked aghast and began to sputter oohs, aahs, and denials of various sorts.

Detective Rousseau held up his hands to silence them and proceeded.

“We’ll start with you, Mr. Bitterman. When we searched your apartment we found some interesting herbal balls, which happened to contain arsenic.” The others in the room gasped, then breathed a sigh of relief, realizing they were off the hook. “We also happened to find all of the ingredients from these balls in Mr. Breaux’s system and in the remnants of his court-bouillon, including the arsenic.”

“That’s preposterous!” said Alistair. “I use those herbal balls to treat my depression. There’s no way they could have killed someone, or I would be dead myself. And how did they get into Breaux’s dinner? I sure as hell didn’t put them there.” Alistair stood up as if to leave, but one of the officers put a meaty hand on his shoulder and firmly settled him back into his chair.

“The rest of you shouldn’t look so relieved,” said Rousseau, dashing their hopes.

“Mr. Lee.” Jimmy’s head shot up and he faced the detective with the look of a caged animal. “I hear you’re interested in obtaining a fugu license, but you just couldn’t wait for that license, could you?”

“Hey, man, I just ordered some fish so I could practice, so I wouldn’t lose my touch, you know?”

“Well, how did some of that fish end up in Mr. Breaux’s stew?” asked the detective.

“I have no idea. I didn’t put it there — I hadn’t even unpacked it from the freezer yet,” said Jimmy.

Jean-Claude just looked at Jimmy, shaking his head in disappointment.

A second officer stood behind Jimmy, in case he had any thoughts of flight.

“And what am I doing here, may I ask, if you’ve already figured out that these two yahoos did the deed?” said Zelma.

“Well, Ms. Laveau, you carry water hemlock in your store, don’t you? It looks a lot like celery and was, in fact, substituted for celery in Mr. Breaux’s stew. What would you be doing with such a toxic substance?”

“I use if for spells and healing potions, not for feeding to folks. It’s organic. And how would I have gotten it into that stew, anyway? I don’t have access to that kitchen.” The third officer approached Zelma, handcuffs at the ready.

The detective pressed on. “Either one or a combination of these lethal substances killed Mr. Breaux. All three of you are under arrest for attempted murder. We’ll let the D.A. sort it out from there.”

The officers put the three of them in handcuffs as they protested and asked, “What about him?” indicating Jean-Claude, who looked like he wasn’t too sure he was off the hook yet.

“Although the crime occurred right under his nose, there’s no evidence that he was involved in it,” said Rousseau. “In fact, it looks a lot like he was being framed by each of you, who stood to benefit if he was out of the picture. Besides, it would be pretty stupid for him to kill someone in the middle of his own restaurant with food he served the man himself.”

The officers led the three culprits away, leaving Jean-Claude alone in his cafe to contemplate the enormity of what had just happened. Jean-Claude was shocked, although quite impressed with himself. In one fell swoop, he had eliminated his biggest rival, a back-stabbing employee, that witch who cast spells on him, and the asshole critic who had tried to destroy his career. Not bad for a day’s work.

The Final Analysis

by Luciano Sivori

Translated from the Spanish by Josh Pachter

This story by Luciano Sivori, of Bahia Blanca, Argentina, made its way to us in a remarkable way. As a boy the author found some EQMMs from the 1970s n his parents’ attic. One contained a story by Josh Pachter that affected him profoundly — so much so that, many years later, he blogged about it. While searching the Internet for pirated reprints of his stories, Josh chanced upon the Sivori post. He wrote to thank his admirer, discovered that the young engineer was also a writer (author of the novel El Alma Dividida), and, athough his Spanish is mostly from school days, offered to translate a Sivori story. The result speaks for itself!

* * *

The last days of autumn dissolved into mist.

No, wait. That’s no way to begin a story. What writer would dream of starting with such a bland sentence, devoid of impact or intrigue? It is a sorry introduction; the opening moments of a tale should initiate a dialogue, a sense of complicity between author and reader. Where, in the sentence above, is the surprise attack of the first impression, the fireball of emotional energy, the magnetism of the narrative voice?

And yet it is true as written. It was indubitably during the final days of the fall that the story I am about to tell you occurred. That morning, Roberto Guiraldes was sitting comfortably on a wooden bench in the shade of a stand of eucalyptus trees in the heart of May Park, cradled by a gentle breeze that carried the scent of an approaching storm. Therefore, in this one case, perhaps I can be forgiven for opening a story in such an unimaginative manner. For the following paragraph — which really ought to be this narrative’s first — is too unthinkable, too strange, too bizarre for me simply to fling it at the reader without any prior preparation:

A man without eyebrows approached Roberto Guiraldes in the park, sat down beside him, and whispered, “It is done. God will understand. Because, you see, he deserved it.”

Why did the man have no eyebrows? Why did he whisper? And why deliver his outre message to Roberto Guiraldes? To answer these questions would cause the reader to suspect that the mysterious stranger was not in his right mind, was in fact unhinged, like the old men seen wandering Alem Avenue, preaching that the End Times are upon us. But considering that this seemingly reasonable theory would be entirely incorrect, the reader will perhaps permit me to go on with the story.

That moment in the park was, without doubt, the moment that changed everything for Roberto Guiraldes.

“Excuse me?” was all he could think of to say in response.

The man without eyebrows studied him, evidently confused. For almost a minute, they observed each other. The wind blew from nowhere to nowhere. Then the stranger disappeared. Not literally, of course. He got to his feet, turned away, and walked off, his hands buried in his pockets. He vanished almost as sudddenly as he had arrived.

“It is done. God will understand. Because, you see, he deserved it.”

That cryptic message was all he left behind. Three simple sentences, a mere dozen words.

This bizarre situation in which Roberto Guiraldes found himself would have shaken any ordinary human being, yet it produced in him an intense and inexplicable emotion. He was captivated, enthused, seduced. Never had such an incongruous event brought such a tremor to his lips, such palpitations to his heart, such an acceleration to his breath.

But perhaps I should begin at the beginning.

Roberto entered this world, a citizen of Argentina, late in 1935, during the presidency of Agustin Pedro Justo. He took his first steps the week the Obelisk was inaugurated in Buenos Aires, commemorating the four-hundredth anniversary of the founding of the city. By the time Ramón Castillo was ousted from his brief presidential term in 1943 — as war raged in Europe and the Far East — Roberto was speaking fluently... and unnecessarily, since he had nothing of interest to say. His political consciousness blossomed as Juan Domingo Perón faced off against the Catholic Church. At the same time, he became an avid reader of crime fiction.

After high school, he wandered the country without purpose or destination. What little money he earned was spent in the used-book stores in Fitz Roy Street, in the Palermo Hollywood section of the capital. He collected the crown jewels of the crime writer’s art: yellowed paperbacks by Edgar Allan Poe (obviously!), G.K. Chesterton, Raymond Chandler, Patricia High-smith. The detective stories of his countrymen Manuel Peyrou and the pseudonymous H. Bustos Domecq were particular favorites.

Roberto traveled by train, spent some time in Peru, but then returned home. He ate inexpensively, smoked — he smoked a lot — and never stopped reading. Those marvelous fictions with their abundance of ingenious deductions intoxicated him. Real life — that which we call “real life,” at any rate — rarely includes occurrences that challenge the established order; it is devoid of serious conflict. Roberto did not deny the real-world existence of men with the souls of bloodhounds, men with the ability to sniff their way through unknown territory in search of hidden truths. But the possibility of becoming involved in such exploits himself was another matter entirely.

By the age of twenty-two, he had found work at a newspaper in Bahia Blanca, his hometown. Nothing he wrote was of particular importance, but he was the author of several published articles. He became a father at twenty-six, and again at twenty-eight. He had never realized that children could be such a double-edged sword. Each birth left him with less time to read and write. And the comfortable bubble of home life pushed the prospect of adventure ever further away.

At thirty-four, he divorced.

A year later, he was on the road again, resuming his explorations of his homeland. Without really understanding how (or why), he eventually published more than a hundred short stories in newspapers and magazines. Several of them attained a notoriety he could never have anticipated. He won national and international awards. He was invited to Stockholm, to Brussels, to the United States. On one occasion, he even got to shake the hand of Jorge Luis Borges! He never stopped reading. Or writing. But in the depths of his soul, he never lost the yearning to participate in a story of his own. That dream was deferred for almost four decades, until the day a stranger approached him in May Park and whispered, “It is done. God will understand. Because, you see, he deserved it.”

By that time, Roberto’s day-to-day existence had lost any pretense at excitement. He had grown old, spoiled, and tired. We might even say that he was sickly. The synaptic connections that provide memories of the past were already beginning to fray. His modest pension kept him in food and medicine, and (due to his ample girth) he spent most of his time sitting on a bench in the park. If you pass your days in the open air, in a sort of natural waiting room, surrounded by some fifty or sixty others much like yourself, you are likely to find yourself thinking some rather unusual thoughts. In Roberto’s case, we must also consider that his only real companions were the likes of Dashiell Hammett, Harlan Ellison, and Argentinian novelist Adolfo Bioy Casares.

One of the few plusses in Roberto’s personal ledger was that he was blessed with fine eyesight and a talent for observation. He noticed people. He inspected them, but he wasn’t one of that uneducated rude type who stares at you blatantly. Instead, he was always discreet. His eyes and brain recorded the many almost imperceptible details that lie at the heart of any large city, of any neighborhood: the subtle variations of light, the settings, the people. All that is happening when it would seem to the unobservant that nothing is happening. No one notices the ordinary, precisely because it is ordinary. No one pays attention to the passage of time, to the leaves, the cars, the clouds. Nothing surprises us, nothing provides us with useful information. To Roberto, it seemed that the rest of us exist under a cloud of anesthesia, on cruise control. The habits of a city’s inhabitants, more often than one might think, are the habits of automata.

The protagonists of the novels he read, however, were quite the opposite. Meticulous, sensitive to hidden truths, always alert to the challenges of the current mystery. Roberto Guiraldes felt alive like that himself, in the moments leading up to his encounter with the man without eyebrows. Earlier that very morning, he had finished rereading The Moonstone, Wilkie Collins’s famous first detective novel. The air was fresh and cool, sunlight skated across the roofs of houses in the distance. It was a wonderful day to be in the park. He had his newspaper, some cookies, a yerba maté bag, a thermos of hot water. What more could he ask for? What more could anyone ask for?

He glanced at his watch: It was 10:15 A.M. He sighed deeply, enjoying the scene as it began to come to life. I’m not going to interrupt the story to describe the park; everyone knows what a park is like, and you can imagine this one as you please. You can see it in your mind’s eye: endowed with beauty, teeming with living nature and the dying leaves of autumn, pleasantly illuminated, smelling of green and the tang of burning charcoal. Families clustered here and there, children playing ball. Hundreds of simultaneous actions, Roberto told himself, a swirl of micro-events. There is something frightening in the idea that no one in the world is paying the slightest bit of attention.

Roberto closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Breathing hurt, walking hurt. Living most definitely hurt. He dipped his tea bag in his thermos and unfolded the newspaper. When his yerba mate was ready, he allowed himself one smoky sip per article. The news was all same-old, same-old. The world was spinning out of control. They estimated (the liars) that inflation was up by twenty-eight percent. American dollars were selling for over ten pesos on the black market. The theft of a famous diamond remained unsolved. The body of a dead priest, Father Lichtenberg, had been found.

Roberto read on. A group of students had vandalized Valentin Vergara High School. The Malaysian government claimed that Flight 370 had been diverted intentionally. A car had overturned on Route 51. The city was shocked by the accusation that a former municipal official had attacked a homosexual. The more pages he turned, the more he grew convinced that reading the news was an extraordinarily depressing activity.

“It is done. God will understand. Because, you see, he deserved it.”

Roberto Guiraldes heard that enigmatic phrase at 10:20 a.m., but he had seen it coming a minute beforehand. The stranger caught his attention at once. He wore a pair of those Wrangler jeans, two sizes too big for him. He was skinny — scrawny, really. Close-shaven, almost bald. His most distinctive feature, of course, was the lack of eyebrows. Because the eyebrows are an integral part of most facial expressions, their absence is startling, almost horrifying. The sight of this sinister apparition caused Roberto to tremble. Was the man coming to confront him?

The man with no eyebrows took a seat beside him on the bench and stared straight ahead, as if hypnotized, toward the horizon. For several moments, neither of them spoke. Silence descended around them. Had the air grown still, or was that merely the stranger’s influence? Roberto wished to return to his newspaper but found himself incapable of doing so. Instead, he began to rock forward and back on his bench. When the stranger drew closer, he started in dismay. He looked at the man. They looked at each other. The very air between them seemed to hold its breath.

“It is done,” Mr. No-Eyebrows said. “God will understand. Because, you see, he deserved it.”

The words were whispered in Roberto’s ear. The sound was so faint it was nearly swallowed by the wind.

“Excuse me?” was all he could think of to say in response.

The man with no eyebrows seemed disoriented. He had not anticipated this reaction. A few seconds later, he was gone, vanished as abruptly as he had arrived.

His words, however, whirled crazily within Roberto’s head, a distant echo of present terror. And that echo was so potent that it overshadowed all other voices.

Suddenly, Roberto burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Something wonderful had happened to him at last. Something wonderful but, without a doubt, absurd.

Twelve simple words, he reflected. I should be able to build a chain of logical deductions from that starting point.

So he began to think about it.

There’s not much to work with. I suppose I should commence with the obvious: Some task has been performed. And he did it himself, I would say, using his own resources. Some sort of commission, an obligation discharged. “It is done,” he told me, as if he were advertising the fact. He has completed some task, and now he feels remorse — or at least he is upset about it. He did not relish this mission with which he was entrusted — or was it he himself who decided upon the action to be taken? — but he felt that he had no choice, though no one forced him, no one pressured him.

Roberto shook his head, unable to awaken from his trance. A chill ran through his body.

All right, not particularly impressive, I know, though his statement could equally indicate mere anxiety. But it is understandable that my first deductions would be the most obvious. My next conclusion is that the task he spoke of was not something he did every day. It was, instead, something exceptional, unique — perhaps illegal? Yes, probably illegal. It was something he planned out in advance, a calculated act. But the man without eyebrows did not say, “I have done it.” He said, “It is done,” almost offhandedly, as if he had been thinking about it for some time. And that phrase, that phrase: “Because, you see.” That suggests to me a combination of indecisiveness and rationalization. His actions, then, were morally questionable, even a bit unethical. Under certain circumstances, some might call it an aberration, though others would find it perfectly justifiable.

“It is done. God will understand. Because, you see, he deserved it.”

People take the Lord’s name in vain more often than I would like. They mention it in circumstances that have little or nothing to do with religion. But that’s not the case here. He needs God’s understanding to justify his actions. “When I am judged for what I did, God will understand my reasons.” I am beginning to believe that each of his words was necessary, that his entire statement functioned synergistically. Especially that key phrase, “Because, you see.” Mr. No-Eyebrows leaned close to my ear and whispered those exact words. He wanted to be sure I knew that God would understand that some “he” deserved some “it.” And why the “Because, you see”? Perhaps because, you see, the “he” involved was someone directly related to God? A priest, perhaps?

I feel I am beginning to hit the mark. Now, what is the only thing that God cannot forgive? All of his commandments, in principle. But of those, the only one that cannot be taken back is “Thou shalt not kill.” But who truly deserves to die? The criminal, the rapist, the murderer?

Roberto Guiraldes, lost in thought, began to consider the subject of ethics. Under what conditions is killing justified? When you look around, he thought, it is worth asking if society in general mightn’t benefit from the elimination of certain people. The problem, he reflected, is hypocrisy. Imagine that a group of students is discussing the death penalty, debating whether evil people deserve to die. Fine... let us agree that all of them will give the politically correct answer, especially if their conversation occurs in a public setting.

Killing people is wrong, they will say: improper, inhuman, unthinkable. That’s what civilized people are bound to proclaim. In a society, we must keep up appearances. And if someone were to devote his life to eliminating the planet’s garbage on his own initiative, most of us would object, and would refuse to support his actions.

Anyway, he went on, I must not accept those words on their own merits, without considering the speaker and the circumstances. Language does not exist in a vacuum — it lives within a particular context. Therefore, before I continue I must propose a hypothesis: This action, whatever it was, occurred somewhere not far from here.

On what do I base this deduction? On a number of facts. First, he was aware of the existence of this park. He wasn’t roaming aimlessly. He approached me with an air of confidence, like a man who knew where he was going. Perhaps he wasn’t looking for me in particular, but he was looking for someone. The action itself may have taken place earlier today, or possibly yesterday, but not much before that.

I consider myself to be an observant fellow. When someone attracts my attention, I take in every detail of his appearance: his clothing, his hair, everything. Although Mr. No-Eyebrows had neither hair nor beard, I noted that his shirt was wrinkled, which could suggest that he had not taken time to bathe or change his clothing after the event. In support of this theory, I point out that the words he spoke indicated an urgent need to confess, to share his secret.

The point is that — not only now, in retrospect, but even at the time — there was something about him that perplexed me.

No, it wasn’t the fact that his shirt — apparently new, despite the wrinkles — was only partially buttoned, or that the left sleeve was missing. Nor was it the slight swelling on his right cheek. It was a much smaller detail, a detail that in any other circumstances might have gone unremarked.

The subject wore a magnificent Cartier watch, whose age I would estimate at twenty to thirty years. I had less than ten seconds to observe it, but that was enough for me to understand that this was a rather careless man. The lower edge of the bezel showed two large dents, and there were scratches on the crystal. He is probably in the habit of dropping his watch onto a table at the end of the day, along with other hard objects, such as a ring of keys. I would not be surprised to find similar signs of wear on his cell phone.

That a man would treat an item of such value with so little respect suggests to me that he is unconcerned with material things. Perhaps he inherited the watch from his father and has never really thought of it as a luxury item. I conclude that he is a humble man — thus far my chain of reasoning has brought me.

And the watch was stopped! During the short time Mr. No-Eyebrows sat beside me, its hands never moved, not a single tick. Quarter past three. And this unusual fact, when added to the previous indications, allows me to extrapolate further: There had been a confrontation, a fight. Was this battle the “it” to which the man referred? If so, then there can be little doubt: “IT” was done either in the middle of the afternoon or, more likely, in the middle of the night.

Roberto covered his face with his hands, concentrating his memory. He wanted to summon forth more details, all the details. But the power of recall is transitory, notoriously unreliable, haunted by the specter of oblivion; it is, in short, both human and social. And it is also selective: We choose what to remember and what to forget, just as we choose whether to take the path to the left or the path to the right, basing our actions on our personal ethics, progressing swiftly or slowly through time. And formal logic was incapable of helping him. Pure reasoning has no way of knowing whether any individual deduction is true or false. It hasn’t the slightest idea — and, to be honest, it couldn’t care less. To make things even worse, Roberto knew that a conclusion could be perfectly logical yet completely inaccurate. Deep within him, a shameful realization blossomed... he was unconvinced that his arguments, despite their logic, contained even a single molecule of truth.

The problem, in the final analysis, is that you could look and look and look... and never see what was right before your eyes.

What did you do? What was it you did? Why did you seek me out? That had to have been a mistake on your part, you man without eyebrows. Could you simply be a madman, a lunatic who roams the planet murmuring insanities to old men in the park? That is certainly a possibility — but I don’t believe it. I can’t believe it.

From any statement, unspoken conclusions can be drawn. Dupin, Holmes, and Poirot would all agree with me. Therefore... something must have made you believe that I was the man you wanted. You had to find a particular old man, a man you didn’t know. You expected him to be sitting on a park bench, waiting for you. He was, quite possibly, the very person who proposed that you should do whatever it was you did. Yes, of course! Because he could give you God’s forgiveness for your sin! Were you expecting to meet with a priest? In fact, I wear a rosary around my neck. You saw a tired old man with a rosary reading a newspaper, and you assumed that I was the man you wanted. I had to be him!

“It is done. God will understand. Because, you see, he deserved it.”

Roberto Guiraldes sat there, deep in thought, imperturbable.

And then it happened.

A miraculous clarity descended upon him. He laughed in delight. His wrinkled old face, which was missing many teeth, illuminated. His bushy eyebrows arched, his black eyes twinkled. He returned his gaze to the newspaper story about Christian Lichtenberg, the murdered priest. Roberto had actually seen the man, several weeks previously, the one and only time he had attended mass at that rustic — though historic — church, Our Lady of Lourdes. An elderly gentleman, Christian Lichtenberg, enthusiastic, friendly. Were they not the same age, more or less?

Lichtenberg. A curious name. It struck a chord in his memory. Something from the distant past... but what? The priest’s murder had been shocking: They had found him strangled in his own confessional.

When the elusive shred of ancient history finally came back to him, he shuddered in horror. Hadn’t he had a friend in high school — yes, the name was Lichtenberg, Christian Lichtenberg — who had been accused of abusing a seven-year-old girl? The girl’s parents had sworn it was true, but no one had been able to prove it. Lichtenberg, yes... that was the name. Was this the same man? Could it be his childhood friend, grown into old age?

Human nature doesn’t change, he thought, it never changes. A grotesque image materialized with absolute sharpness in Roberto’s mind. As a teenager, he had seen Lichtenberg chatting with the girl, not once but several times. Was it possible that an abuser might wind up wearing a priest’s vestments?

At the end of the day, he philosophized, our world is an agglomeration of contradictions.

His eyelids felt very heavy.

It made sense. It all made sense.

“It is done. God will understand. Because, you see, he deserved it.”

He smiled. He smiled more broadly than he had ever smiled before. The man without eyebrows had liberated him from his lifelong desire to unravel one of the real world’s mysteries. He was free at last.

A peaceful infinity closed in around him. His muscles relaxed, abandoned their resistance to stimuli. He no longer felt any pain. He was terrified and exhilarated in equal measure.

It is said that the coordinates of time and space that structure our lives are mere products of our perceptions. If this is true, then they are subject to modification.

At that moment — that moment of triumph — Roberto Guiraldes became eternal, immortal. Nothing was important anymore. The wrinkling of his soul that had grown over time disappeared; he took it off like a girl undressing for bed. His weary hands would never again pick up a classic detective novel. But that was perfectly fine: He didn’t need them any longer.

He couldn’t stop laughing, with the tranquil joy of one who knows that — at long last — things will be fine forever, without haste, without judgments, without hesitation, without jealousy, without anger. This was his eternity, and it was perfect.

He never stopped smiling. His mouth, his eyes, his nose, everything smiled. His vision blurred, the world around him became more and more indefinite. His final thought was of Father Christian Lichtenberg.

He managed to release one last breath, and then he dissolved into mist.

Dysperception

by Larry Light

Larry Light is a financial editor and writer for CBS MoneyWatch, the network’s business site. He is the author of a series of novels featuring financial reporter Karen Glick, and he tells EQMM that the power of greed — something he observes often in his journalistic work — is frequently a theme in his fiction. His debut story for EQMM is no exception.

* * *

The loving parents smiled, the playing children laughed, and the buttery sun poured down on I the park. It was a warm, buoyant spring afternoon. Yet the two people sitting on a bench near the street didn’t smile or laugh.

They sat in a place that seemed thirty degrees colder than the rest of the park: a handsome man in his late forties and a pretty young woman in the twilight of adolescence. They were as grim as death.

“So you and Mom are splitting up? That would be why?”

There were many ways for Gerald to answer that question, most of them stupid euphemisms or outright lies. His daughter would see through any verbal footwork. If Ashley were younger, he knew, the news of the breakup would devastate her — rending the benign cocoon that enfolds children with safety and stability, letting the bad outside world enter. Ashley was in college now, a proto-adult who lived in her own self-sufficient bubble of fun, friends, boys, and books, and the older generation was at best an irrelevant curiosity. Hearing about her parents’ marital trouble was a mere annoyance.

He answered using a piece of the truth, one that resonated with Ashley’s adolescent rebellion. “You know your mother can be difficult to get along with.”

“No kidding. She can be awful.” In high school, Ashley had engaged in a prolonged war with Jenna. Ashley complained about her mother’s unceasing criticism. Jenna condemned Ashley’s self-centered nature — as though Jenna were not guilty of the same sin. Gerald, not wishing to provide Jenna with ammunition to unload on him, had stayed out of the fracas.

Hostilities had subsided once Ashley left for college. Of late, during all-too-brief visits, Jenna treated her daughter with polite chilliness. After Ashley returned to campus, Jenna even seemed wistful, if only for a moment as brief as a teardrop.

Gerald said, “With her, if it isn’t this, it’s that. If it isn’t that, it’s the other thing.”

“You’ve put up with her for more than twenty years. Why leave now?”

They sat in uncomfortable silence as he mulled how to proceed. The hard park bench, punishing to sit on for long periods, was made of the sturdiest wood. Its slats were well varnished and splinter-free. The town maintained the parks and roads well.

When she was a kid, Gerald and Jenna used to take Ashley to this park, where she’d never stop smiling. Before Ashley’s birth, he and Jenna used to steal into the park by night and have illicit frolics behind a thick oak, hidden from the street. Fond memories still lingered there for him, like perfume rising off the nearby daffodils. He was sure the park’s soft magic still lingered for Ashley too. That was one reason he had chosen the park for their talk about the crumbling edifice of his marriage.

“I don’t want to leave. The breakup is your mother’s idea.” He added, “The latest example of her dysperception.”

Ashley’s head jerked, rocked by cognitive whiplash. “What? It’s her idea? Wait, I figured, when you told me this, that you’d found someone new.” Then she said, punching each syllable to highlight her views on that prospect: “A younger woman.”

“I still love your mother very much. But her dysperception has always been a problem for us. It has become worse.”

“Do you mean misperception?”

“No. Dysperception. The term’s a variation on misperception.”

The sun through the tree branches made shadow patterns on Ashley’s fair skin.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Ashley never called him Dad anymore. They had been close until teenage attitudes took hold. These days she avoided calling him anything.

Tim and Mindy Heston sat on a bench across the lawn from them. They had brought pillows to sit on. The grass had the sharp fragrance of a recent mowing. They waved at Gerald and Ashley. Gerald waved back. Ashley, intent on her father, ignored them.

Gerald said, “Dysperception. The prefix, dys, means bad or abnormal. As in dystopia, a world gone to hell.” He knew about hell on earth. Years ago, he had been a hot-line phone counselor for the sad, lonely, and suicidal. One of his many random jobs. “Your mother has acted a certain way for years, starting from when we got engaged, when she had me hooked. I always felt that there should be a term for her behavior. One doesn’t exist, which is why I made up the word. Misperception is just a mistake. Dysperception is something much worse.”

Tim and Mindy’s Irish nanny was playing catch with their six-year-old. Or was trying to. Little Sally, her braided hair swinging, her face bright as the day, was not very good at snagging and throwing the ball. She was a hyperkinetic kid, and jumped from foot to foot. When she failed to catch the rubber ball, she went racing after it. Cassie, the nanny, displayed great patience with the child’s athletic ineptness.

Both of them were laughing. Gerald knew the nanny’s laughter was forced. To Cassie, dark-haired with flinty pupils, being a nanny was a serious business. Seven years older than Gerald’s daughter, she had big ambitions in America. In tiny shorts and a sports bra, she moved about the lawn with deliberation.

Gerald could feel time start to slow, as it did when important events were happening. Out on the street, cars glided by at leisure. Today was Sunday. Nobody was in a hurry, in the park or on the roads. For Gerald, Sunday became slower still.

Ashley said to him, “Do you mean when Mom...?”

“Yes, that’s right. When she does that.”

Ashley shook her head as the revelation washed over her. Blond as the sun, she looked a lot like her mother, almost as pretty.

“You know how I lost that job at the French restaurant?” Ashley said. Thanks to family money, Ashley didn’t have to work at school. But she thought being a chef some day would be cool and had signed on as kitchen labor to get an appreciation for the craft. “My jackass boss told me to mince some onions. Apparently, he wanted me to dice the onions to a subatomic size. But he figured that I should be able to read his mind and know exactly how he wanted the onions. I minced them like I always do, a little larger. Even though he never bothered to tell me what he wanted, he got mad since I didn’t somehow know.”

“Your mother to a tee. Last week, she sent me to buy new towels for one of the guest bathrooms, the black-and-white one. I came back with these nice, fluffy black towels. She got angry, in her icy way. Turns out she wanted white towels. She hadn’t said so.” Ashley nodded. “A couple of weekends ago, we had your Uncle Jack over for dinner. You know Jack loves his booze. I poured him a double-bourbon and Jenna got upset with me. I was supposed to be aware Jack was on the wagon. But she hadn’t told me.”

Ashley nodded once more. “Dysperception. People assume you know what’s in their heads. Then they get mad when you don’t know. I like it.”

“I’m glad.” Gerald enjoyed the unaccustomed sensation of his daughter’s approval. He glanced at his watch.

Little Sally shrieked as she missed the ball, yet again. His attention turned to the lawn. The nanny consulted her own watch. Then her eyes met his.

Ashley, who caught the look, said, “Isn’t that Cassie? The one who used to work next door as the Carter kids’ nanny? Irish girl, right? She’s dressed sort of slutty for a nanny.”

“When the Carters moved away,” Gerald said, “I recommended Cassie to Tim and Mindy. She’s a good nanny.”

“Cassie, huh? Not quite Mary Poppins. I heard she was banging Mr. Carter. Almost broke up his marriage. They moved away when Mrs. Carter couldn’t stand to be in the same house where her husband cheated on her with the hired help.”

“I didn’t know about that.” He checked his watch again.

“Well, Mr. Carter was a good-looking guy. I can’t say the same for Mr. Heston. I bet Cassie” — she pronounced the nanny’s name with bite — “won’t give him a tumble.”

“Tim and Mindy are devoted to us. Your mother tolerates them. They pick her up from the airport and fetch her stuff from the city.” Gerald liked that Mindy Heston had a crush on him, although he’d never take advantage of that. Dumpy and pig-faced, Mindy wasn’t his type, to say the least.

Tim Heston seemed oblivious to his wife’s yearnings and treated Gerald like a god. They were on a softball team together, and Gerald was a star at first base and at bat. Runty Tim was as uncoordinated as his daughter and played little. Ugly when he was a boy, he had not grown into his looks: Old acne scars marred his cheeks, like a permanent judgment. Tim was the sort who idolized handsome jocks. From high school on, Gerald had always had a coterie of such followers. In college, he and the other football players called them “jockstrap sniffers.” Unlike Jenna, however, he never pressed either Heston into service. Other than to find employment for a bereft Cassie.

“Is Cassie on the prowl for another older, married boyfriend with money?” Ashley was as direct as her mother.

Busy studying Cassie and little Sally, Gerald said, “Excuse me?”

“You heard what I said. Is she...?”

What came next happened fast. But to Gerald, it was in slow motion. Cassie threw the ball over Sally’s head. The child’s short legs churned over the grass as she scampered for it. The ball didn’t come to rest on the lawn. It bounced into the street.

Gerald bolted from the bench. He sprinted after Sally, who pranced off the curb in pursuit of her ball, which had almost reached the commercial strip across the street. His frantic eyes clicked between the traffic and the girl. A big tinted-window SUV was barreling straight at her along the asphalt. Sally, oblivious to the threat, focused on the retreating ball.

As he charged into the street, Gerald hooked his hands under her armpits and hoisted her into the air. She screamed in shock and surprise. He backpedaled for the curb. The SUV zoomed past, missing them by inches. Gerald almost lost his balance. Lungs on fire, he lowered the squirming, crying child onto the grass. He heard Mindy’s scream.

“You’re okay,” he gasped.

The SUV didn’t stop. In fact, it picked up speed and vanished around the corner.

Sally dropped to her knees and cried.

Cassie ran up and folded the wailing girl in her arms. She shot him another glance. Gerald’s senses buzzed.

Sally’s parents were right behind the nanny. They melded into a desperate group hug. Mindy cried as hard as Sally. Tim’s grateful sobs made him sound as if he were choking. He kept repeating: “Thank God, thank God, thank God.”

Bounding toward them, Ashley shouted, “Is everyone all right?” Others in the park realized that something dramatic had occurred. They were standing and watching.

“Everyone is fine,” Gerald said. He bent over, hands on thighs, as the adrenaline coursed through him. “Sally’s scared, but she’s fine.”

He basked in his nineteen-year-old offspring’s expression. Gerald hadn’t seen awe on anyone’s face for a long time.

“You were amazing, Dad,” Ashley said. Dad.

Tim disengaged from his wife and daughter and stumbled over to Gerald. Panting, Gerald straightened up from his crouch. He was a full head taller. Tim was weeping, “What you did... How can I ever...?”

Mindy, mascara smeared with tears, looked up at Gerald. “You saved her life.”

The only calm one in the bunch, Cassie gave Gerald a small smile. Then it ghosted away.

“Did anyone get that maniac’s license plate?” Ashley said.

Now both Tim and Mindy were hugging Gerald.

“We’ll do anything for you,” Mindy said, her body pressed tight against his.

“Anything,” her husband said.

The evening fell like a blessing, and Gerald roamed the handsome halls of the house, alone but for a glass of old scotch and the reflection he appreciated in the mirrors. The house had a lot of mirrors. Jenna liked to look at herself as well.

Beneath each mirror and atop each table was an arrangement of flowers, in honor of spring. Jenna insisted on flowers in the warm weather, and lots of them. The house was a riot of color, with pink azaleas, yellow freesias, and white gardenias. It reminded Gerald of a funeral parlor, although he never dared make that observation out loud.

He hadn’t seen his wife since he got back from the park. They didn’t cross paths a lot anymore, but he made a point of knowing her whereabouts.

Jenna was out, enjoying a girls’ night with her posse from high school. She no doubt would regale them with her plans to dissolve her marriage, and they would approve. Jenna was used to approval. The members of the cheerleading squad had stayed in regular touch. Jenna had been squad captain and in a way she still was. Each of her gal pals had married well — to a plastic surgeon, a hedge-fund manager, a corporate lawyer, and a high-tech chief executive.

Gerald had no such sterling career, or any career, for that matter. He was the one who had married well. “My profession is kept man,” he joked to his sports buddies.

He’d long since given up on the world of employment — which, come to think of it, was a cesspool of dysperception. Wherever he worked, the bosses could not be charmed. They seldom told him what they wanted. They only told him what they didn’t want, and that was whatever he had done. Ashley’s story about chopping onions in the restaurant had a familiar ring.

He paused before the Janice Minor mirror, an oval surrounded by wrought-iron porcupine quills. Beneath the mirror was a vase of dahlias. He admired his smile. And he congratulated himself on inventing the word, dysperception. Who said he wasn’t clever?

Not that he had to be. Gerald was superb at golf and tennis, charmed everyone at the club, dressed well, and made women’s heads turn. He never disappointed a host or hostess. People, the older ladies in particular, said he and Jenna made “a lovely couple.” The only time Jenna seemed to appreciate him was when they went out together.

Annoyed at yet another fancied lapse, she had told him the previous week: “Don’t ever forget that you’re a hero on my money.”

Gerald passed an oil portrait of a superannuated gent wearing a distinguished three-piece suit and a sour demeanor. He lifted the scotch glass in a mock toast. “Not looking good tonight, Big Daddy. Not by a long shot.”

Her father, the patriarch who ran the family business, had insisted that Gerald sign a prenuptial agreement. One of the few souls in her circle whom Gerald could not delight, his father-in-law gave him the gimlet eye, as if he were a rat who had invaded Jenna’s elegant house. After a few highballs, the pompous jerk would stare at Gerald and say: “Handsome is as handsome does.” Whatever that meant. After he died, Gerald rejoiced — in secret, to be sure. The will showered more wealth upon Jenna.

Gerald strolled into the foyer, its walls and floor as creamy white as heaven. The grandfather clock, which dominated the foyer and greeted their frequent guests, chimed the hour. Seven o’clock. The perfect time to call.

Gerald placed his glass on the floor with care. Jenna would disembowel him if he left a wet ring on furniture. He thought of her disapproving face as he tapped the stored number on his phone.

“Let’s see who’s clever now,” he said.

The next day, at a busy bistro on Empire Boulevard, Mindy Heston greeted Gerald with a lingering kiss. Tim Heston pumped his hand hard, in an overabundance of gratitude. The Hestons ran their own small accounting firm, thus they could take a leisurely lunch, unlike many wage slaves in their modest income bracket. While waiting for seating, the couple prattled nonstop about little Sally’s recovery from the trauma.

“Cassie is very good with her,” Mindy said. “She distracts Sally by telling her to think of all the goodness in her life. Her puppy. Her dolls. Her friends. Her loving mommy and daddy. She’s a terrific nanny. Thank you for sending her to us.”

At the table, Gerald broke the news about his marriage. “This is Jenna’s decision. Not mine. She wants to split up.”

The Hestons sat in momentary stupor, as though receiving a terminal diagnosis. “We knew something was wrong,” Mindy said at last. “When I picked her up at the station and drove her home Wednesday, she almost took my head off because I didn’t stop by the florist first. She insisted she’d told me she wanted to pick up some flowers. She hadn’t. I figured she was distracted by... personal problems.”

“Typical with the flowers,” Gerald said. He told them about dysperception. “She is like that.”

“She snapped at me when I mentioned you,” Mindy said. “She didn’t want to hear your name, she told me. That’s when I knew there was real trouble.”

Tim said, “Even though we knew what was happening, we didn’t feel we could bring it up. This stuff is, well, sensitive. You’re our best friends, and...” He trailed off.

Gerald let that last remark about best friends go, as he always did.

The waitress came to the table. Gerald smiled at her, and she simpered. With the lunch ordering done, he turned back to the Hestons. “I need your help.”

“What?” Tim said.

“You need us?” Mindy said.

He gave them both his most earnest and imploring look. “I love Jenna. I couldn’t live without her. I need your help getting her back.”

“How?” Mindy whined. “Jenna won’t listen to me. Or to anybody.”

Tim examined his lap. His tone was low, timid, and apologetic. “Mindy’s right. We can’t get involved. How could we?”

“Guys,” Gerald said, as sincere as a priest, “I love her.”

“But, Gerald,” they replied at once.

He made his request in a low leonine purr. “Remember what you said in the park yesterday. You’d do anything for me. Remember?”

That night, Gerald strode down the hill. The antique street lamps gave a warm and elegant glow. He passed storied mansions that timber and textile barons had built in the 1800s, made of fine-hewn stone. He passed chic modern architecture with interesting angles and an abundance of glass. Gerald and Jenna’s neighborhood was known as the Hill. When the river overflowed, the waters never climbed the Hill.

As the terrain flattened out, the houses got smaller and became almost identical. Flooding was a periodic worry here. These environs were called the Hollows: a real-estate developer’s name from the 1950s. Buzzing overhead like hostile insects, the garish sodium street lighting cast the neighborhood’s parked cars and spindly trees into sharp relief.

Gerald suspected that Tim and Mindy were the best off in the Hollows, as they carried no mortgage: She had inherited the split-level ranch from her parents, free and clear. Since the Hestons both worked, they needed a nanny, and their dual incomes meant they could afford one.

A block from Tim and Mindy’s place, Gerald veered off the road. He sneaked up the short driveway of a foreclosed property, beyond the streetlights’ lurid glare and away from prying eyes. Cassie was waiting for him.

Their kiss was passionate. Not wanting to be late for the Hestons, Gerald pulled back. “Are you sure that the SUV...”

“The SUV is untraceable. Don’t ask how.” She had the nicest accent.

“Your brother is ready to go?”

“He left for Ireland last night. No choice. Immigration is on his arse.”

Gerald’s breath caught. “But we need him to drive again.”

Her hand caressed his cheek. “Don’t be worrying. I’ll drive tonight. I’m as good as Brian. Better. They should hire me as a stunt driver in the films.”

“Okay,” he said, without conviction.

She slipped a finger inside his shirt and played with his chest hair. “Worry about how, once the coast is clear, I’ll exhaust you.”

He tried his best smile on her. Cassie slipped into the shadows, which swallowed her up. He squinted, but couldn’t see her any longer. Gerald headed out into the sodium lights’ unforgiving radiance, bound for the Hestons.

Nimble as a thief, he slipped through their back door. Tim, his brow furrowed, waited in the pantry.

“Are you sure about this, Gerald?”

Their puppy barked but didn’t approach.

“It’s the only way. Mindy is here? Sally and the nanny are gone?”

Tim’s acne scars seemed more prominent tonight. “Yes. We gave Cassie the night off. Her brother is leaving for Ireland tomorrow, and that’s kept her occupied.”

“I thought he’d already left.”

Tim gave Gerald an odd look, as if to say: How would you know what’s going on with our nanny? “Jenna will be here in a few minutes.”

“Jenna’s always on time. God help you if you ever are late.”

Tim led him through the kitchen to the den, which lay cloaked in darkness. No flowers graced these premises. Gerald knew the layout, although he’d spent very little time here. Their prosaic furniture was clunky and predictable. He sat on the stain-proofed arm of the overstuffed couch, where they watched TV.

With a sigh, Tim cracked open the door to the living room. “Are you sure you want to hear?”

Gerald knew what he meant. Overhearing a conversation about yourself could be full of nasty surprises. But Gerald told himself that the more he could find out, the better off he’d fare. “I’ll be fine. Honest.”

Mindy came through the living room door and took the opportunity to kiss Gerald on the lips. “Is there anything I can get you?”

“I’m fine. Make sure to stick to what we discussed.”

The dog had followed them into the den. Tim led it away, saying he’d lock up the animal so it didn’t interfere. Jenna disliked pets.

At the stroke of eight, the front doorbell gave an overloud bing-bong. The Hestons scuttled into the living room. Tim left the door to the darkened den ajar. Gerald settled onto the couch’s arm and tried to calm his nerves.

The first he heard from the living room was Jenna’s dagger of a question: “What on earth do you need to talk about that couldn’t be handled on the phone or in an e-mail?”

Mindy, rattled, said she’d get “refreshments.” Tim, with even less aplomb, invited Jenna to sit. “The Barcalounger is, you know, the most comfortable.”

“I won’t be staying long. This afternoon, I bundled my daughter back to college, which is a big production. She was on spring break, but I sure wasn’t. I’m exhausted.” She sounded like Katharine Hepburn in a bad mood.

“What, um, would you like to drink?” Mindy asked.

“Nothing. Lord, this chair is a monstrous contraption. I don’t want to eat either. Now, what’s on your mind?”

Gerald heard the Hestons settling into their faux leather sofa. Tim came right out with the topic of the hour: “We hear you want to divorce Gerald.”

“What?” Jenna said. “My marriage is none of your business. Where did you hear that?”

“I’m sorry. Gerald told us, Jenna. Please don’t be angry.”

Mindy followed, in a high, emotion-stoked pitch: “He really loves you, Jenna. He is devastated. You two are our best friends.”

“Best friends? How dare you think my personal life is any of your concern? I’m leaving.”

Gerald heard Tim jump to his feet, the change in his pocket jingling. “Don’t go, Jenna. Please. Gerald is a good man.”

“He saved our daughter’s life,” Mindy said, keening. “He risked his own life. You should have seen it. He’s a hero.”

After a pause, Gerald could hear Jenna, from the direction of the front door. The anger had left her voice. “Yes, Ashley told me. And the local paper called me at home. With the story in the paper, women will swarm over Gerald more than ever.”

Gerald felt a fine sheen of sweat on his face. He struggled to keep his breathing under control.

“Whatever the problem is,” Tim said, “please give him another chance. He loves you. He says he can’t live without you.”

Jenna gave a rueful laugh. “Is that what he says? Thanks to the prenup he signed, a divorce leaves him without a dime. No more high life for Gerald. He’ll have to get a job. Fancy that.”

“He loves you, Jenna,” Mindy said. She could pour on the pathos. “You should have heard him.”

“Oh, I’ve heard plenty. He can sling the B.S. like a champ. He’s having another affair. I can tell. I can pick up the scent of another woman on him. Gerald never pays attention to the little things. He’s not very smart. I consider him a mistake I should have rectified long ago, but held off because of our daughter.”

A chill came over Gerald. His ego was leaking like a smashed cantaloupe.

Tim said, “Gerald has affairs?”

Jenna’s laugh this time was more like a bark. “Come on, Tim. He’s fooled around with half the women at the club, them in their skimpy little white tennis outfits.” She hesitated for a second, perhaps realizing that the Hestons didn’t belong to the club. “Well, let’s simply say I am sick and tired of having a rooster for a husband.”

“He told us you two have difficulty communicating,” Mindy said. “Maybe if you tried counseling. When two people in a marriage can’t...”

“Spare me,” Jenna said. “It seems he’s invented a new word to describe our problem, Ashley says. And here I thought all he could do was swing a golf iron or a tennis racket. Dysperception? He claims he doesn’t know what I want.”

“Yes,” Mindy ventured. “Sometimes, you...”

“Baloney. The problem is that Gerald doesn’t listen. Please.”

Managing to summon up a pinch of courage, Mindy said, “I notice it too. You didn’t tell me you wanted to go to the florist on Wednesday.”

Jenna’s exasperation was epic. “Obviously I wanted to go to the florist. You know I always fill the house with flowers in spring.” She was ready to leave.

Tim turned strident, also an unknown quality for him. “Jenna, the man who leapt off a park bench and saved our daughter is a man worth keeping.”

“The two have nothing to do with each other, Tim. Once I’ve gotten rid of him, maybe Gerald can find work as a fireman, saving lives. He’s handsome enough. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

Gerald couldn’t stand it anymore. He raced out of the den, slammed through the back door, and pelted around the front of the house.

He got there in time to come face to face with his wife.

“What are you doing here?” Jenna demanded, at her most imperious.

Gerald stared at her, as though seeing her for the first time. He blinked against the ache inside. Jenna was beautiful, with her aristocratic cheekbones, her eyes as blue as a spring sky, and her blond hair that captured the light. Her skin was as supple and unlined as Ashley’s. When Jenna ignited a smile, the air changed. She wasn’t smiling now.

“We need to talk,” he said.

Her countenance was as hard as an Easter Island monolith’s. “I’m done talking. I told you I want you out of the house. If you wish to talk, talk to my lawyer. Or whatever new babe you’ve bedazzled.”

“Jenna, I love you.”

“So you say. And you ambush me in the presence of... others who are not entitled to know about our situation.” She gestured at Tim and Mindy as if they were unwelcome strangers.

“Jenna, we’ve been together twenty years. Can’t we try again? Can’t we talk? Please.”

A car slid up to the curb and stopped. It was Ashley’s Mercedes. Their daughter got out and went around to fetch someone from the passenger seat. She walked up the lawn, hand in hand with little Sally.

At the sight of Gerald, the child ran to him. She wrapped her small arms around his legs. “Thank you,” she said, and then began to cry.

Ashley said to her mother, “Dad’s a good man. Anyone who could do what he did has more good inside than maybe you realize.”

Jenna winced. But something in her face melted. “Honey, I wish things were better.”

“Mom, please.” Ashley took Jenna’s hands. “For me. He deserves it. Please talk to him. Go for a walk. You have nothing to lose. Honest.”

Gerald steeled himself. Everybody had done his or her part, as he’d requested. The only sounds were Sally’s sobs and the buzzing of the sodium lamps.

Jenna shrugged. “Okay, Gerald,” she said with resignation. “Let’s walk. And talk. Since that seems to be the will of the crowd.”

Sally ran for her parents. Ashley grinned. Mindy called out: “Gerald, you are the best man I know.”

Her husband took no offense at his wife’s assessment. “You’re a lucky lady, Jenna,” he shouted.

Tim started to clap. The rest of them joined in the applause, little Sally included. All of them would swear that Gerald was deeply in love with Jenna. And a hero, at that.

Jenna and Gerald headed down the street. She kept her hands clasped behind her back, which prevented him from enfolding one in his, and trained her pretty face forward. He kept his eyes on her.

“I’m a lucky lady, huh?”

“I’m the lucky one, Jenna. Have been for twenty years.”

They walked in silence for several blocks. A few cars rumbled past, headlights bathing them in a tungsten glare, then eased into the night and disappeared forever.

“You’re lucky to live as well as you do.”

“We’re back to the money.” Gerald kept his voice pleasant. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll move out to a small apartment. I’ll never go to the club. I’ll live like a damn monk. I won’t set foot in the house. But I want to see you. When I say I love you, I mean it.”

“You’re kidding?” she said, without cynicism. “You’d even give up the women?”

They walked for a few more paces in the spring evening quiet. The street lamps were less intense as they left the Hollows. They were outside the park.

“Of course I would, Jenna.”

They stopped and peered into the park’s soft green darkness. At this hour, it was empty of life. Borne on a breeze, the scent of daffodils reached them. No one else was out strolling. The storefronts across the street were closed.

Gerald turned to her. She met his gaze. He grasped her shoulders. She did not flinch from his touch. She unclasped her hands behind her back.

“Jenna, this is the spot where I saved Sally.”

“Is it?” she said, almost dreamily.

Time slowed for him. “Something happened to me Sunday. I realized what’s important. How precious life is. How much you mean to me. How stupid I’ve been.”

She drew in a breath and held it, as though tasting the oxygen. Then she favored him with her enchanting smile. “We used to adore this park, didn’t we? I can almost spot the oak tree, where we used to go. No one could see us. Remember?”

“I remember.” His voice husky with regret.

Her next remark was unexpected. “Dysperception, huh? What that means, at its core, is that you never can know what someone else is thinking.”

The approaching growl of the SUV was sudden. The massive machine gave no other warning. The headlights were off. It closed fast. But to Gerald, the oncoming vehicle and he moved almost frame by frame.

His grip tightened on Jenna’s shoulders. With every bit of first baseman’s strength, he flung her out into the street. She yelled his name.

He took too long to notice that the SUV had swerved off course and bumped over the curb. Its long-fanged grillwork was heading straight for him. It was too late to dodge away. As chrome and steel met flesh and bone, his first reaction was shock. Then a solar flare of pain blasted through him and he was somersaulting over the park lawn. The jar of landing sent another wave of pain through his body. He was broken. Finished.

Gerald was losing consciousness. His vision faded. Still, he could hear two women talking, the first one with urgency.

“The rest of my money then?” Until now, he had enjoyed that Irish accent.

Jenna’s reply was imperious. “You’ll get it tomorrow. Now get going.”

Gerald tried to speak and couldn’t. His mouth was filled with blood.

Close to his ear, he heard Jenna say, “You should’ve known what I wanted. But you didn’t, did you?”

Half-Life

by Kate Ellis

The CWA Dagger in the Library is described by its presenters as “a prize for a body of work by a crime writer that users of libraries particularly admire.” It is one of the most prestigious U.K. crime-writing awards and Kate Ellis was one of six short-listed writers for 2017. She is the author of many short stories and nearly thirty novels; the latest, an entry in her Wesley Peterson series, is The Mermaid’s Scream.

* * *

Nature seemed oblivious to the crisis. Larks sang in the surrounding fields and shrieking gulls performed aerobatics in the cloudless blue sky. Only the insistent wailing of the siren indicated something was amiss. Like a banshee in some old tale it howled out its warning. The land was in peril and an unseen hand might be poised to deliver a silent, invisible death.

As the patrol car drew up outside Primrose Cottage, PC George Jenkins thought the place wasn’t as pretty as its name suggested. It was a bungalow with rotting window frames, a roof of crumbling pantiles, and a small front garden filled with flourishing weeds. Hardly “roses round the door.”

The cottage stood only a few yards inside the evacuation zone, but orders were orders. He already knew the occupant’s name and the neighbours had been happy to fill in a few details. Miss Rosa Cage, he was told, was elderly and kept herself to herself. She lived on the edge of the small community, down a narrow track that led nowhere except to her cottage. And, according to the neighbours, she wanted nothing to do with any living being — not human, not animal.

It was difficult to tell how old Primrose Cottage was, but it had certainly been there in the landscape long before the nuclear power station was built a couple of miles away on the fringe of the sea. When Jenkins looked around all he could see were fields and hedgerows and he knew that, should the worst happen, this land would be blighted for decades, even centuries, to come.

Jenkins stood by the rotten wooden gate separating Miss Cage’s garden from the outside world. He hadn’t bothered to lock the car door because prowling car thieves were unlikely to choose such an isolated spot. Until six weeks ago he’d worked in the teeming centre of London but things were different here in rural Suffolk.

The gate’s hinges had rusted half away and the thing fell to the ground with a thud as he tried to open it. He nipped through the gap and put the gate back in place, but now it stood at a drunken angle. He’d see to it later, he thought... once he’d done what he’d come to do. As he walked up the path he looked at the greying lace curtains at the cottage windows and wondered if he was being watched.

A pair of wires poked from an oblong of brittle grey plastic beside the front door where a bell push had once been, which meant the only way of getting the occupier’s attention was to rattle the rusty letter box. The dark blue door with its peeling paint looked half-rotten. One kick would have had it down, he thought. The old woman’s security was pitiful.

He lifted the letter box and let it fall before calling out, “Miss Cage. Are you there? Police. I need to speak to you.”

He waited, his ears tuned to any sound within the house. He was sure he could hear something, but when nobody answered he tried again, rapping on the door’s filthy frosted glass. To his relief, after a couple of minutes he saw a dark shape moving in the hallway.

“Hello, Miss Cage. My name’s PC Jenkins. Can you open the door, please?”

The shape was looming nearer and when it stopped behind the door he could make out a small figure, blurred and distorted behind the undulations in the glass, like some abstract portrait in muted, winter shades.

“Please open the door, Miss Cage. It’s nothing to worry about,” he lied. If this thing went badly, there’d be plenty to worry about. The news would be full of it for months.

The figure behind the glass made no move to unlock the door but he heard a faint, creaking voice, as if its owner was unused to speaking aloud. “I knew you’d come,” she said. Then she scrabbled for the lock and the door opened slowly.

Rosa Cage could see him behind the glass. He had come for her at last, just as she knew he would.

The sound of the car engine had brought her to the window to peer out through the veil of lace and filth. He was taller than she had imagined. And older. Somehow she’d always imagined him as a child or maybe a young man; the sort of handsome, clear-eyed youth who once went off to fight in some long-forgotten war. Eternally young. Eternally brave. Eternally dead.

This man was in his forties and his steel-grey hair was so closely cropped that he looked almost bald. He was fat too, with a belly that stretched his crisp white shirt. And yet she knew it was him. She could see the likeness... the familiarity of those features.

She shuffled down the hall. This was the moment she’d been waiting for. The best moment of her life. Yet she still felt afraid.

The door had just opened a crack when George Jenkins’ radio crackled into life. He cursed under his breath before he responded.

“I’m there now. She’s the last,” he reported. “I’ll make sure she gets there. Okay?” He tried to sound calm and cheerful, aware that Miss Cage could hear every word. He didn’t want to frighten her, not now he’d made so much progress.

He heard Karen’s disembodied voice over the airwaves. “I told you I’d see to Primrose Cottage. Why didn’t you leave it to me?”

“You were busy. What’s the problem?”

He could sense PC Karen Dawson wasn’t pleased about something. She was an odd woman; earnest and secretive. But there are all sorts in the police service: It had been the same in London.

He could still hear the distant siren. If the summer breeze was carrying the sound his way, it could also be wafting something more sinister towards them. He knew that the “incident” was bad news. It had been called an “incident” from the beginning, never an accident. Accident would imply chaos and a lack of control. And chaos would spread panic. How easy it is to deceive with words.

A clawlike hand had crept around the edge of the door. He could see the bony knuckles, white and grasping tight onto the wood.

The door opened a little wider and at last he saw her face. It was a long face with a bulbous nose framed by lank grey hair, roughly chopped at angles as if the woman had cut it herself with a pair of blunt scissors and without the aid of a mirror. Her threadbare black cardigan and long grey skirt drooped off her scrawny frame but her eyes were bright and darted nervously, as though seeking an escape route. Jenkins knew she’d need careful handling.

“Have you heard the siren from the power station?”

She stared at him blankly.

“There’s been an incident and we’ve got to evacuate everyone from the area. Just a precaution. Nothing to worry about. We’re taking everyone to the leisure centre in Coldborough for the time being, so if you’d like to grab a few things and pop them in a bag, I’ll give you a lift there.” He forced out a smile. “All part of the service.”

He caught a whiff of something musty, her clothes, perhaps, or maybe the unwashed body beneath. Or perhaps it was just the smell of the bungalow after so many years of damp and neglect. And yet he knew the place hadn’t always been like that.

She closed the door in his face and he had no choice but to wait on the doorstep, listening to the birds squabbling in the nearby hedgerow... and the distant, insistent wail of the siren.

Mother had given her strict instruction never to let any man inside the bungalow and, although Mother no longer ruled the house, she had never gone against her wishes.

She could almost hear the old woman’s strident voice. “We keep ourselves to ourselves, Rosa. We don’t mix.” That had been her life from the time she was born — her and Mother against the world. Until they decided to build the power station on the coast overlooking the sea and money had been so tight they’d had to open their door to strangers.

The policeman was talking through the letter box, asking her to go with him, his voice wheedling, charming, just like the voice of that man who’d altered her life forever in 1965; the man who’d always been ready with a kind word and a compliment. She shut her eyes and saw the ingratiating smile he used to wear when he flattered Mother’s cooking. Because of him she’d felt alive back then. But that had soon changed.

“Do you mind if I come in and wait while you get your things together?” The man at the door sounded so gentle, so persuasive. “It is just you living here, isn’t it? There’s nobody else who needs to be taken to the leisure centre?”

As she undid the latch she saw that he’d inserted his well-polished police boot over the threshold.

“All your neighbours have gone already. Sorry to hurry you, but it is an emergency.”

He was in the hall now, towering over her, filling all the available space. She could tell this large man with his jocular way of talking and his London accent wasn’t the one she’d been waiting for and in a way she felt relieved. But she had waited so long for him to come to her that she felt a stab of disappointment too.

This policeman was a stranger. And she didn’t intend to go with him to any leisure centre... or anywhere else, for that matter.

As she began to back away she could hear her tired heart beating and the blood rushing in her ears. She would obey Mother’s orders and stay there. Somehow she had to get rid of him.

At first he thought she was going to cooperate, but now she was edging away, keeping her back against the hall wall with its stained floral wallpaper. He had to get her out of there somehow, but using force on an old woman was out of the question. Perhaps if he explained the danger in simple terms she’d see sense.

“Look, love, there’s been an accident at the nuclear power station and we’ve got to evacuate the area.” She was cowering against the wall as though she was expecting him to launch an attack, so he gave her a reassuring smile. “Please, love, just get your things and you can have a nice ride in a police car.”

He knew he was talking to her like a child but he had to get her out of there. He thought of the letter in his pocket and suddenly felt impatient.

“Look, if you don’t get out of here you could be poisoned with radiation. And so could I ’cause I’m not leaving you. Come on.” He held out his hand to her but she stepped back towards the open doorway of a darkened room. She reminded him of a feral, cowering animal... and he knew what fear did to them when they were cornered. He imagined her clawing at his face with jagged, filthy nails. Maybe he should have left this to Karen after all. Perhaps the situation required a woman’s touch.

He was pondering his next move when the old woman shot into the room and shut the door. They’d reached a silent stalemate, but leaving her there wasn’t an option. Besides, once she was safely out of the way there was something he needed to do.

He could hear the throaty purr of a car approaching down the lane, then a small screech of brakes, like a whimper of pain, as it came to a halt. Jenkins turned and walked out of the front door. Whoever it was needed to be warned off: At least he could get something right.

However, he saw that another patrol car had parked beside his and Karen Dawson emerged from the driver’s seat. She was a thin, dark-haired woman of around his own age with the lined face of an enthusiastic smoker. Like him, she hadn’t pursued promotion over the years. But unlike him, she possessed an undercurrent of bitterness, as though she’d once had ambition which had long ago been thwarted.

Karen was marching towards him, her lips pressed together in a determined line. “Haven’t you got her out yet?” There was a note of triumph in her voice.

“She’s being awkward.”

“Where is she?”

“First door on the left. I’ve tried everything apart from force, but she won’t budge.”

Karen brushed past him as she entered the bungalow. She smelled of mint; toothpaste or chewing gum. “Have you heard anything?” he asked her disappearing back.

She swung round. “What about?”

“The power station. What’s the latest?”

“Haven’t a clue.” She put her hand on the doorknob. “Rosa. It’s PC Dawson here... Karen. Can I come in?”

Jenkins watched the door open slowly with a horror-film creak. Karen vanished into the void and emerged a minute later with the old woman shuffling beside her, head bowed. Karen supported her arm and shot Jenkins an I-told-you-so look.

“Get this place secured,” Karen hissed as she passed him. “And make sure you’ve got the key.”

Jenkins fought an urge to retaliate. The woman was treating him like an imbecile. But it was best to say nothing. He had things to do and he didn’t have time for distractions. He stood at the door and watched Karen’s car disappear down the track. It hadn’t been his fault, he told himself. Some old ladies respond to the feminine approach, that’s all.

“Engineers are trying to control the leak of radioactive material from the isolated Hawkswood Nuclear Power Station on the Suffolk coast. A spokesman for the Nuclear Power Authority said there’s no need for the public to panic. However, all residents within a two-mile radius have been evacuated as a precaution and are spending the night at a nearby leisure centre. Now on to sport...”

Jenkins switched off the radio. It was an old-fashioned radio covered in greasy grime and even the simple act of turning the switch had left a smear of dirt on his fingers. There was no TV, but somehow he hadn’t expected Miss Cage to have one. He looked around the room. The pattern of the carpet was practically invisible beneath the dirt of years and all the furniture dated from the nineteen fifties or sixties. Some of it had come back into fashion, but for those who remembered it first time round, it held little appeal. He had been born in 1965, two years, according to the poet Larkin, after the invention of sex, so his parents must have caught on pretty quick. The house where he’d grown up had been filled with furniture like this. His mother, being widowed, had had little spare money to keep up with furnishing trends so she’d made do with the old-fashioned stuff until she died.

He stood listening to the silence and realised he could no longer hear the siren. Maybe they’d turned it off now everyone had been evacuated. Everyone apart from him, that is.

Jenkins put his hand in his trouser pocket and pulled out the letters. He needed to read them again. Maybe then things would start to make sense.

He glanced at the stained armchair and decided to remain standing as he took the first letter from its envelope.

“My darling Sal,” it began. “Got here safely and found digs in a place called Primrose Cottage. It’s out in the middle of nowhere and my landlady’s a Mrs. Cage. She’s a funny woman who doesn’t say much, but she knows how to make a decent breakfast — eggs from her own chickens and everything. I could get used to this country life.”

It continued for another page, mainly asking how things were at home. But it was the mention of Primrose Cottage and Mrs. Cage that interested him. All he had been told about his father was that he had vanished a month before he was born and that all efforts to find him had failed.

His mother’s more uncharitable friends had assumed he’d abandoned his pregnant wife because he couldn’t face the responsibility of fatherhood. But his mother had refused to believe it. After her death he’d found his father’s letters in a rosewood box, tied with blue ribbon, and when he’d read them, he couldn’t believe in his father’s perfidy either. That was why he’d sought a transfer. That was why he’d been trying to discover as much as he could about what had happened when his father joined hundreds of other construction workers to build the brooding, silent mass of Hawkswood Power Station on the edge of the North Sea.

Each time he’d called at Primrose Cottage before there had been no answer so he’d never actually seen the occupant until today. The fact she bore the same name as his father’s old landlady gave him a new thrill of hope. The Rosa Cage he’d just met must have been a teenager back in 1965, but he suspected that getting her to talk about her memories of that time might prove difficult.

He began to read the second letter, dated a week after the first. “My darling Sal. Hope you’re keeping well and the heartburn has gone. I wish to God I was there with you, but the money’s so good here and all I can think about is getting a bit put by for you and the nipper. I can’t wait to be a daddy and the foreman says I can take some time off when it’s born. Things are looking up now ’cause there’s a new bloke at Primrose Cottage. His name’s John and he’s from Ireland. He’s good company and livens the place up no end. He’s a real charmer but he’ll have his work cut out to get round Mrs. Cage.”

This was hardly the letter of a man who planned to abandon his wife and child. Something had happened back then to prevent him coming home and he needed to discover what it was. Finding someone called “John” from Ireland who’d stayed there all those years ago would be a difficult task. But many of the houses he’d visited nearby belonged to elderly people so there was a good chance they were around when the power station was being built. And if they were, they might well remember the men who’d helped to build it.

“Are you all right, Rosa?”

Rosa Cage’s eyes were watering and she couldn’t see clearly. But the voice was kind. And comfortingly familiar. Rather like Mother’s voice.

“Do you want anything? I can get you a cup of tea.”

The mist was clearing now and she could see the woman in front of her was wearing a white shirt. It was the policewoman who’d brought her here. Karen. She nodded and Karen stood up, touching her arm in a gesture of reassurance.

There were lots of people there in that huge room with its glossy wooden floor, marked with strange squares and half circles. The sound of chatter and crying babies echoed off the breeze-block walls and Rosa blocked her ears. She couldn’t bear to hear babies crying. Her baby had never cried... not in her hearing anyway. She remembered the agonising pain and the tiny body being torn out of her. She remembered the nurse with the cold statue face telling her it was for the best.

He had been one of the many men who’d travelled there to build the power station and he had been her first lover. First and last. Back then they’d said the power station was going to be good for the area. People who knew said that science held all the answers — until there was an explosion somewhere in Russia and people started avoiding the area. The power station had drawn him there and he’d said the money was good: That’s why Mother had been able to charge a lot for the rooms.

After her baby was born and taken from her, Mother thought it best that she went to the hospital and stayed there. Some called it an asylum, somewhere fearful spoken of in hushed voices. Mother said she’d been mad; feeble-minded were the exact words she used. Although she’d heard a doctor call her “morally degenerate.”

They’d never told her whether her baby was a boy or a girl but the man she’d seen today was the image of one of the men who’d stayed at Primrose Cottage back then. That strong resemblance might mean that he was her baby returned to her. But her memories were confused and she couldn’t be sure whether he resembled the man who’d shared her bed or the other man, the one with the London accent. Time and the treatment she’d endured in the hospital had made the past so dreamlike and hazy that both men’s faces had become a flesh-tinted blur. But she was sure the man who’d called himself PC Jenkins resembled one of them. And she’d been afraid to speak to him in case she gave herself away.

Karen was handing her a flimsy polystyrene cup filled with hot tea, telling her to be careful not to spill it. Then she pulled up a plastic chair and sat down next to her.

“It’s a bit noisy in here, but we’ll get you home as soon as we can.”

Karen had been so kind and Rosa was tempted to confide in her. She felt she couldn’t keep it to herself much longer. She needed to tell somebody her son had come back to her.

She nudged Karen’s arm and put her face close to hers. “I’ve got a secret,” she whispered.

“What sort of secret?” Karen looked worried. Rosa didn’t want her to be worried — not when she’d been so kind.

“I think my son’s come back.”

Karen was staring at her now. “What do you mean, Rosa?”

“He came for me. He looks so like one of those men but...” She suddenly felt unsure and Karen was giving her a strange look she couldn’t quite fathom.

“Which men are you talking about, Rosa?”

“The ones who stayed with me and Mother when they were building the power station.” She shifted in her seat and a little of her tea spilled over the edge of the cup, leaving a dark patch on her skirt.

Karen nodded slowly as though she understood and Rosa was grateful that someone was treating her as if she was sane. Then Karen leaned towards her, keeping her voice low. “When this man stayed with you... Did you, er... sleep with him?”

Suddenly tears stung Rosa’s eyes. Karen gently took the tea from her hands and waited. How was she going to explain to this kind girl that it was like a half-remembered dream; that during those years in the hospital her emotions and memories had been muffled by pills and electric shocks.

She felt Karen give her hand a gentle, comforting squeeze. “Don’t worry, Rosa,” she said. “I’ll sort everything out.”

Rosa Cage’s nearest neighbours — a sprightly elderly couple called Parsons — had gone to stay with their daughter on the outskirts of Coldborough, twelve miles away from the danger. Jenkins remembered the way the woman had fussed and dithered when he’d called, wondering what clothes to take with her and changing her mind at least three times. He’d tried to emphasise the urgency, but some people won’t be told.

Mr. Parsons was the silent type, used to his wife’s whims after so many years of marriage. There had been times when Jenkins wished he had experienced the joys and pitfalls of marriage — but he’d had his mother to look after and when she’d died he’d been left with nobody to care for. That was when he’d discovered the story of his father that his mother had kept from him all those years. That was when he’d set himself the task of uncovering the truth.

He’d volunteered to double-check that the evacuation area was clear. As far as the power-station leak was concerned, his only information had come from the radio news and that wasn’t giving much away. The engineers were still working to bring the situation under control, it said. The cold fear of the residents who’d had their lives disrupted wasn’t reported. Neither was the fact that this green open land and the sea beyond might never feel quite clean again. But at that moment his main concern was discovering all he could about Rosa Cage.

The Parsons’ daughter’s house was detached and stood in a cul-de-sac of identical houses on a new estate. It wasn’t the sort of area where a police car was a common sight and he could sense hidden eyes watching him as he walked to the front door.

He was in luck; the old couple were in and, as their daughter led the way to the conservatory, she told him they seemed to be enjoying the adventure. She herself, however, was frightened that some unseen mist of radiation would reach Coldborough on the wind and deliver a slow and painful death to all its inhabitants. “They only tell you what they want you to know,” she said. “And those things have a half-life and can linger for years in the environment.”

Once the daughter had provided tea and the subject of the power-station incident had been exhausted, Jenkins put his cup down and smiled at the elderly couple.

“We managed to get Miss Cage to safety,” he began. “But I’m worried about how she’ll cope on her own.”

Mrs. Parsons sat up straight, suddenly on gossip alert. “I called Social Services once but she sent them away. I was quite relieved when that woman started visiting. I don’t know whether she’s from some charity or...”

“What woman?”

“She’s been there a lot recently, but I don’t know who she is. You’ll have to ask Miss Cage... if you can get any sense out of her.”

“You’ve lived there a long time. You must know Miss Cage well.”

It was the man’s turn to butt in. “Not really. The Cages have always kept themselves to themselves.”

“The cagey Cages we used to call them, didn’t we, Len,” the woman said, giggling at her own joke. “Mind you, when the power station was being built they did take in a couple of lodgers. Quite a few people let out rooms to construction workers in those days because I believe they paid good money. Even so, I was surprised when old Ma Cage allowed strangers into that bungalow.”

“Do you remember the Cages’ lodgers?”

“Oh yes. We used to chat to them sometimes, didn’t we, Len.”

Jenkins felt his heart beating faster. “Tell me about them.”

“One was called John. He was Irish — a real charmer. The other was from London. He was a nice bloke... quiet. Geoff his name was.” She hesitated. “He looked a bit like you.”

“What happened to them?”

The couple looked at each other. “No idea,” the man said. “They were there one day and gone the next. I assumed they’d moved on — had the offer of a better job or something.”

“Geoff probably went back to London. He told me his wife was expecting their first.”

Mr. Parsons looked at his wife. “You never told me that.”

“Why should I? It’s not the sort of thing that usually interests you. I don’t know what happened to John, though. That’s a bit of a mystery.”

Jenkins waited for her to continue. Something happened to prevent his father returning home for his birth. And sitting there in that sunlit conservatory with its view over the small suburban garden, he realised that this couple might unwittingly hold the key to the puzzle that had dogged him for almost half a century, always there at the back of his mind so that his life only seemed half-complete.

“Did anything unusual happen around the time the two men disappeared?”

The woman frowned and shook her head. But then Len chipped in with a nervous glance at his wife, as though he was afraid of speaking out of turn. “I was in the garden one evening and I heard raised voices. Sounded like a terrible row and I heard a woman crying... and a man’s voice telling someone to stop. Of course I wasn’t listening properly. It was none of my business.”

His wife shot him an exasperated look as Jenkins stood up.

“Thanks for the tea. I’ll see myself out,” he said as he made for the door. He had to go back to Primrose Cottage.

He drove too fast into the evacuation zone and when he brought the car to a halt outside the cottage he was struck by the silence. No siren now, nothing to tell of the poison that might be spreading over the land, borne on the light summer breeze. In that silent place his father had quarrelled with somebody that night all those years ago. He wondered whether he’d feel better once he knew the truth. Or whether it was too late for all that.

He gave the front door a push and when it flew open he stepped into the hall, listening and breathing in the musty air. Then he made for the back of the house. It would be best if he made a systematic search. And he’d start in the bedrooms.

After searching for an hour he found what he was looking for.

And fifteen minutes later the front door opened again... but he was too preoccupied to hear it.

A whole year had passed since the power-station incident. The government said it hadn’t been serious, and the residents who’d been evacuated as a precaution had been allowed to return to their homes after just three days. The official line was that the evacuation had shown how efficiently the authorities were able to deal with such situations. But there were many who hadn’t believed a word of it.

The incident had brought a whole new beginning for Rosa Cage. Her old life seemed distant now, as if it had happened to someone else. But strangely, certain memories had become clearer. She could remember leaving the hospital and coming home to live with Mother in her dank, lonely cottage. She could remember being with Mother until she died, then floundering alone in squalor once she was left to fend for herself.

Then everything changed when she was taken to that strange, crowded hall of echoes. And when she’d returned to Primrose Cottage a few days later she found the place cleared out and cleaned to a sparkle because her child — that tiny, bloody thing she had only caught a brief glimpse of — had come back into her life.

For years she’d lived with the fear of being sent back to the hospital with its casual cruelty, its smells, and its sharp, stinging needles that brought cloudy oblivion. But now her child was there to look after her and everything would be fine.

She’d told her child everything she remembered. It had felt strange to let all the unspeakable secrets gush out but once she’d started it had been easy.

The man had come to her room that night so long ago and she’d rather enjoyed what they’d done together, although Mother had insisted later that he had taken advantage of her. Then when she’d started being sick in the mornings, Mother had become very angry and one night she’d quarrelled with the man. It had happened so fast; the sudden movement of the knife; the blade disappearing into the soft flesh, and the whimper of astonishment as John slumped to the ground. She remembered screaming and sobbing as Geoff, the other lodger, walked in and saw her lover lying there on the floor with blood surrounding his body like a glistening red halo. She’d screamed again when her mother thrust the kitchen knife into Geoff’s heart and carried on when she saw both men lying lifeless at her feet.

Afterwards Mother gave her something to calm her down and she remembered little after that. She had slept for many hours and when she’d awoken there’d been no sign of the blood or the men. Mother told her she’d imagined it all, that her disturbed mind had conjured a nightmare and that the men had simply left, but now a dreadful possibility was forming in her head. Mother had been a strong woman, used to hard work on the land during the war, and when she’d awoken the next morning with a dry mouth and sickness gnawing at her belly, she’d seen two patches of newly dug soil in the garden which hadn’t been there before.

Now she was standing at the kitchen window looking out into the garden. The weeds had vanished and her child had planted vegetables in their place. Some voices on the radio questioned whether the land had been contaminated by the incident at the power station but her child had told her that was nonsense.

There were three vegetable beds, slightly raised. Her child said those three special places were more fertile than the rest of the garden. And her child was right about everything.

Karen’s search for her biological mother had become an obsession. She’d never felt any affinity with her adoptive family so it had seemed logical to embark on the quest which had taken her years to complete. Over the years she’d followed the clues and now she’d found the woman who’d given her life. For the first time she felt contented. She’d even taken early retirement from the police force because these days she found tending her new garden much more satisfying than work.

The bungalow was no longer the run-down dump she’d found on her first visit. She’d had a new bathroom and kitchen installed and redecorated throughout. All the relics of the past had been destroyed; all those papers relating to her mother’s incarceration in that terrible asylum and all the letters from her natural father’s relatives begging for news of him — although she could hardly grace him with the title “father” as his role in her life had been all too brief.

It wasn’t until her mother had been allowed home after the power-station incident that she’d revealed her true identity. But she’d come to know Rosa well in the months before that, calling as a concerned friend and gaining her confidence. In those months Rosa had spoken about those events of 1965, unsure whether her recollections were real or whether they’d sprung from her imagination. She’d spoken of her mother’s crime and the child who’d been taken away from her, unsure whether it had been a boy or a girl. Karen had longed to take her in her arms and tell her that she was that child. But because of Rosa’s fragile mental state, she’d taken things slowly and, once Rosa had told her everything, she was determined that her dreadful knowledge wouldn’t interfere with their happiness. And now the past was over, Karen and her real mother had embarked on their new life.

She hadn’t meant to kill George Jenkins when she found him going through her mother’s things. But she knew that if that unfortunate incident back in 1965 came to the attention of the authorities, her mother’s life would be destroyed again as Primrose Cottage was turned into a crime scene and the garden excavated. She’d protected her mother from the consequences of her grandmother’s actions. And to do so she’d become a murderer herself.

She’d used her baton to knock him unconscious. Then, when he’d started to come round, she’d panicked and hit him again.

There’d been a space in the garden next to the two original graves so she’d buried him there. It was strange, she thought, that nobody seemed to miss him very much. And when his car was found on the coast, everyone assumed he’d been swept out to sea by accident or even committed suicide. He’d seemed a lonely man, after all, with no family or friends. A stranger in the area who’d never made much progress in his career and whose personal life remained a mystery.

She gazed out of the window at the three vegetable beds. They’d have a good crop this year. The place was returning to life.

The Noble Bachelor

by Terence Faherty

EDITOR’S NOTE

When notebooks of Dr. John H. Watson were discovered, containing first drafts of the earliest of his immortal short stories, one of the volumes was found to be water damaged. The material in this notebook was unreadable, and it was feared it would remain so. However, using imaging techniques developed to recover a treatise of Aristotle’s that had been overlaid by a medieval religious text, the pages have been deciphered. As a result, “The Noble Bachelor” can now be presented to the public. It shares with the earlier first drafts in this series a certain informality with respect to Sherlock Holmes’s speech and behavior, one source of a heated debate regarding the notebooks’ authenticity. There is also a reference to Holmes’s musical tastes that is certain to spark further controversy. (As before, Watson’s notes and asides to himself are inserted in the text in parentheses.)

Most of Terence Faherty’s recent contributions to EQMM have been Sherlock Holmes parodies such as this one, which we present in celebration of the annual Twelfth Night banquet of the world’s oldest Sherlockian organization, the Baker Street Irregulars. The Shamus award-winning author’s most recent novel is Play a Cold Hand (Perfect Crime Books), an entry in his long-running Scott Elliott private-eye series. Many of the World War Two-generation detective’s short-story cases first appeared in EQMM.

* * *

The scandal surrounding Lord Strachan’s brief but eventful marriage has faded from the public’s equally brief memory, but not from my own, as it occurred only weeks before the black (bright) day of my own nuptials. I was still rooming with Sherlock Holmes in Baker Street, and it was to those hallowed rooms that he returned one afternoon following his usual round of the pubs (constitutional? postprandial stroll?). I’d stayed indoors, for the threat of rain had stirred my old Afghan wounds, received when a jezail bullet had found me while I was taking private yoga instruction from a young native woman in my tent, the bullet passing through my leg and lodging in my shoulder due to the advanced position we (I) had achieved. (Strike this; Mary is sure to misconstrue.)

“You’ve gotten a letter from a toff,” I remarked and handed him an envelope of the finest quality. “A pleasant change from your usual correspondence.”

“If the letter isn’t ‘postage due,’ it’s a pleasant change from my usual correspondence,” Holmes replied with a weary smile. “Even so, if this is a wedding invitation, it goes straight onto the fire. I’ve bought my last silver fish slice.”

He broke the heavy wax seal, glanced over the enclosure, and whistled.

“Not a wedding invitation?” I asked.

“Not exactly.”

“But from a prospective client?”

“One with blood that’s bluer than Ellen Terry’s eyes.”

“Congratulations!”

“I promise you, Watson, that a client’s social weight is of far less importance to me than the heft of his pocketbook. Give me a well-heeled baker over an impecunious baron any day. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. It is a capital mistake to judge a client’s wherewithal before you’ve made discreet inquiries at his bank.

“And speaking of discreet inquiries, have you come across any mention in the press of my correspondent, Lord Strachan, and his recent wedding?”

“Yes, several stories.”

“Excellent. You can read me some of the choicer bits, in chronological order. While you’re sorting through the discard pile, I’ll just look up the gentleman.” He extracted his Court Register from our groaning bookcase. “Here’s the very chap. ‘Philip St. John Basil Strachan, eldest son of the Duke of Navin. Born in 1846.’ No spring chicken, he. ‘Assistant to the Governor General of Canada 1880 to 1883.’ That’s odd. The Governor General usually serves for five years. One assumes his assistant would as well. Hmmm. Plantagenet blood on both his father’s side and his mother’s. I’m not sure that was wise.

“How are you doing with the newspapers?”

“Ready when you are, Holmes.”

“Fire away.”

“This first item is from the Morning Intelligencer of some weeks ago. We really have to speak to Mrs. Hudson about shoveling us out more regularly.”

“Data, Doctor.”

I cleared my throat. “ ‘A marriage will shortly take place between Lord Philip Strachan, eldest son of the Duke of Navin, and Miss Kitty Devlin, only daughter of Fergus Devlin, Esq., of Denver, Colorado, U.S.A.’ ”

“Succinct,” Holmes said. “Too much so.”

“Here’s another piece from a later society page that’s chattier. ‘Lord Philip Strachan, perhaps the most confirmed of our confirmed bachelors, has decided to tie the knot. Lord Strachan, whose father, the Duke of Navin, has been quietly selling off the family plate and paintings—’ ”

“Oh me,” Holmes groaned.

“ ‘—has caught himself an heiress. Kitty Devlin is the only child of Fergus Devlin, one of the silver kings of the American West, and is herself a third owner of the Devlin-Morris Mine, rumored to rival the fabulous Comstock Lode.’ ”

“That’s more like it,” Holmes said. “Carry on.”

“Those are the only mentions I could find from before the actual ceremony and the bride’s subsequent disappearance.”

“Her subsequent what?

“Disappearance. Shortly after the ceremony, she oozed off, took it on a creep, caught a breeze, pulled a vanishing act—”

“I’m with you,” Holmes said with some asperity. “You might have mentioned that sooner.”

“I thought you’d surely heard of it.”

“No, I’ve been busy on a case. Laid something of an egg with it too. A family over in Grosvenor Square had its house completely cleaned out while they were visiting friends in the country. Everything gone but the wallpaper. I postulated a gang of international furniture and bric-a-brac thieves, led by the Napoleon of furniture and bric-a-brac thieves. Turned out a moving van had simply come to the wrong address. So, how shortly after the ceremony did the bride catch her breeze?”

“It was during the wedding breakfast.”

“That may be a new record.”

“It’s all here in the next piece, which is entitled ‘Pop Goes the Heiress.’ ‘The friends and family of Lord Strachan are greatly concerned over the mysterious disappearance of the newly minted Lady Strachan. Following a quiet wedding ceremony at St. George’s, Hanover Square, the party had proceeded to the house of Fergus Devlin, at Lucas Gate, for breakfast. The peace of the morning was disturbed by a mysterious woman, one Fannie Moreau, who forced her way into the house and had to be removed by the butler and a footman.’ ”

“A butler and a footman to eject one woman? They’re not building domestics like they used to, Watson.”

“ ‘Shortly afterward, the bride, pleading an indisposition, retired to her room. When her father went to check on her some time later, he found her room empty. Subsequent inquiries by the family and the police have produced no word of the missing peeress.’ ”

“Well,” Holmes said, “that certainly explains this letter.”

He retrieved a single sheet he had earlier taken from the sealed envelope and read its message aloud.

“ ‘I wish to consult you in reference to a painful event subsequent to my wedding of yesterday. Inspector Lestrade of Scotland Yard recommended this action and assured me of your discretion. I will call at four, time being of the essence.’ It is signed, ‘Lord Strachan.’

“Lestrade will want his standard cut, but it will be worth it if this business turns out to be a back door to a silver mine. Ah, I think I hear a delicate tread upon our steps.”

“Lord Strachan,” our bootblack (make him a page) announced, after kicking our door open in his usual abrupt manner.

The gentleman who followed that cue had a pleasant if somewhat vacuous face, pale and long in the true Plantagenet pattern. His attire was exact and perhaps even overexact: a mirror-bright silk hat, a black frock coat, pearl-gray waistcoat and trousers, and gloves and gaiters of an identical buttercream. He entered the room in the manner of a billiard ball, approaching and recoiling from several pieces of furniture before coming to rest before Holmes.

“Nice of you to receive me, what, what?” he said nervously. At the same time, he twirled a pair of gold eyeglasses by their black ribbon, occasionally hitting himself on the chin.

“Not at all, Lord Philip,” Holmes said airily. “That basket chair is very comfortable.”

The peer sat down, though it was plain that he was used to furniture less inclined to squeak.

“It’s Lord Strachan, by the way,” he said. “Not Lord Philip. I have the honor to be the eldest son of a duke, what?”

“You carry your years remarkably well,” Holmes assured him.

“I wasn’t calling attention to my age. I was describing the proper mode of address. Never mind. One must make allowances, what? I don’t suppose you’ve ever had a client of my rank.”

“I dunno,” Holmes replied. “I was recently of some small service to a northern king.”

Lord Strachan was visibly impressed. “Northern, eh? Scandinavia, per chance?”

“Closer to Manchester. The gentleman styled himself the Cotton King of Oldham.”

The basket chair emitted a sound like a chorus of mice attempting Handel’s Messiah. “You’re making sport of me, what?”

“Merely trying to put you at your ease, Lord Phil. I’ve acquainted myself with that portion of your story that is known to the public. Now perhaps you’ll favor us with the rest.”

“Very well. I met my wife during a tour of the western United States. Her father is, as you’ve doubtless read, a former prospector who is now a wealthy mine owner. I found Kitty to be a breath of fresh air, to coin a phrase. She was raised in a series of ‘roaring camps’ and is unlike any woman I’ve ever met, though inclined to be headstrong.

“Her father brought her to London last season, and she consented to be my wife. She is my wife, though sadly misplaced.”

“Brought a big dowry, did she?”

“She owns a third of her father’s mine. He and his late partner made her the gift on a whim, but it’s perfectly legal.”

“How was she during the run-up to the big event?”

“In high spirits.”

“No nerves that morning?”

“None whatsoever. Not until we were leaving St. George’s.”

“What happened then?”

“The merest trifle. She dropped her bouquet on our way out. A gentleman handed it back to her.”

“A gentleman? He wasn’t known to you?”

“No. Of those in attendance, I knew only Mr. Devlin, my mother, and a select group of our friends. The church was open to all, however, and the ceremony had attracted a few lookers-on.”

“Can you describe the gentleman?”

“I only noticed that he was short. When he handed back the flowers, his eyes were on the same level as my wife’s. Kitty seemed much put out by the incident. Perhaps it’s bad luck in America, what? Dropping one’s rosebuds, I mean.”

“Gathering one’s rosebuds can be risky as well, Lord P.,” Holmes observed. “Tell us about Fannie Moreau, the woman who disturbed the wedding breakfast.”

The mice inhabiting Lord Strachan’s chair now seemed to be trying out the “Dies Irae” from Verdi’s Requiem.

“As you’ve surmised, she is a lady from my past. I knew her quite well when I resided in Ottawa, Canada, some years ago, while in the service of the Crown. And by ‘Crown,’ I’m not referring to any textile manufacturers either. Fannie has no hold on me, though that did not keep her from hounding me back here to England. But her behavior on my wedding day reached new heights. She literally forced her way into Mr. Devlin’s house after the ceremony.”

“Did she gain an audience with you or your wife?”

“No. We never set eyes on her, though I believe she was able to speak to my wife’s maid.”

“Did the maid subsequently speak to her mistress?”

“Only very briefly. Lady Strachan used the expression ‘jumping a claim’ in the exchange, whatever that means. Slang is a weakness of hers. Inspector Lestrade thinks Fannie lured my wife away. Certainly, it was shortly after the incident that Kitty disappeared.”

“Do you think Miss Moreau is involved?”

“I do not. I think it far more likely that Kitty has suffered some kind of mental aberration. How else can one explain her passing up, well, me?”

He made a gesture with his golden glasses that took himself in from wing collar to yellow gaiters.

“How indeed?” Holmes echoed with a wink toward me. “That is just one of the mysteries before us. I’ll be in touch.”

Our noble client caromed out, and Holmes sent Boots (the page) to fetch a pitcher of beer, which he called “suds,” in honor of the missing American lady with the penchant for slang.

After he’d blown the titular foam from his first glass, he asked, “Any light from your end of the tunnel, Watson?”

“Quite a bit. I believe I can explain the whole business.”

“No fooling? Lay on, Macduff.”

“It’s quite simple, really. The stranger in the church is some man from Lady Strachan’s past. A sweetheart, say, or fiancé. Perhaps even a husband from a secret marriage. He chose the eleventh hour to reappear in the poor woman’s life, throwing all into confusion. By the time she had returned to her father’s house, the lady had decided that this stranger had a stronger claim on her than Strachan. That is surely why she used the ‘jumping a claim’ expression. I believe it figuratively means to take something to which someone else has a prior claim, in this case, her hand.”

“An interesting hypothesis, Watson, as far as it goes.”

“It goes all the way to a complete solution!”

“Does it? Here are some of the questions it fails to answer. One: Why did this stranger with a stronger claim to Kitty Devlin’s hand stand by like a dummy while she married another? I believe there’s a spot in the marriage ceremony specifically designed for speaking now or forever holding one’s peace. Two: Why, most particularly, would he keep silent if he were the woman’s secret husband? He would be exposing her to a charge of bigamy by allowing her to marry another man. Three: Why didn’t Mr. Devlin recognize so important a figure from his daughter’s past? And if the father did recognize him, why didn’t he raise the alarm? He had two excellent opportunities to do so: at the church and later when the police were called in. Four: Why didn’t Miss Moreau accost the couple at the church, when there was still time to affect the outcome, instead of waiting until the wedding breakfast? Five—”

“Enough!” I cried.

“One point more, Doctor, a subtle one but suggestive. If a physician or a plumber speaks of ‘jumping a claim,’ it is not unreasonable to assume he’s doing so metaphorically. But when a prospector — or in this case a prospector’s daughter — uses the phrase, the smart money must surely be on a literal rather than a figurative interpretation.”

Before I could ask Holmes to elaborate, the door to our room burst open and Inspector Lestrade strode in. He presented a striking contrast to our earlier, natty visitor, as he wore a pea jacket and corduroy trousers, baggy at the knees.

“Going to sea?” Holmes asked. At the same time, he extended an invitation by nodding toward the pitcher of beer.

Lestrade helped himself to a glass. “At sea already,” he replied ruefully. “It’s this Strachan marriage business. I can’t seem to find my feet.”

“So you’ve decided to swim around instead?” Holmes patted the arm of the professional’s jacket. “You’re even wetter than usual.”

“So would you be, if you’d been dragging a lake all day. There’s one in the park across the street from Fergus Devlin’s house. It’s my theory that the Moreau woman lured Lady Strachan to that park and that lake and drowned her.”

“What gave you that brainstorm, Inspector?”

“This, Mr. Holmes.” Lestrade produced his card case and removed from it a damp square of paper. “It was found floating in the lake yesterday afternoon by one of my men. It bears a scribbled note which reads, ‘Come at once.’ And it’s signed with Fannie Moreau’s initials.”

“They’re also the first and last initials of F.D. Maurice, the famous theologian,” Holmes observed.

“And of Franz Mesmer, the hypnotist,” I added.

“Good one, Watson. Also Frederic Myers, the philosopher.” Noting the policeman’s blackening brow, Holmes mumbled, “Just saying.”

“I would have Miss Moreau in the clink right now,” Lestrade continued, “but she has an alibi for the time of the wedding breakfast.”

“Has she indeed?” Holmes asked, setting down his empty glass.

“Yes, but it has to be a lie, as she was seen making a row at the Devlin manse. I’ll soon break it and her.”

He was standing with the note in his hand, as though still in the act of reading it. Holmes suddenly leaned forward and snatched it away.

“Hullo, hullo, hullo,” he said. “There’s something written on the back side.”

“Just a receipt,” Lestrade said. “Room and breakfast, but no hotel name.”

“What’s this item under the meal heading? ‘Grits,’ isn’t it?”

“Never heard of it,” I said.

“Just a scribble,” the policeman said. “Probably some waiter’s personal abbreviation for ‘gratuity.’ ”

“Must have his own system of spelling too. By the way, I wouldn’t be too rough when breaking Fannie Moreau’s alibi. In the spirit of fair play, you might want to treat her as you would, say, Lady Strachan.”

Lestrade was still muttering “fair play” as he marched down our steps.

Before he’d reached the bottom, Holmes was out of his chair. “You have the bridge, Number One,” he said with a crisp salute. “I shall return.”

I was left alone to dwell upon my own approaching marriage, but I had little time to mope (muse). Only an hour after Holmes’s departure, two men arrived from the Needle and Thread, our local pub. One carried jugs of beer and the other a wooden box that turned out to be a veritable Aladdin’s cave. It disgorged fried potatoes, sausages, boiled cabbage, and a particular variety of pretzel, which the Needle stocked especially for Holmes.

The conjurors had barely gone before Holmes himself returned. He sniffed the air with relish. “I hope our guests arrive before it all gets cold. Ah, here is the first one now.”

Lord Strachan entered in his previous tangential fashion. As the aroma of the cabbage reached his thoroughbred nostrils, he appeared close to fainting.

“I received your message,” he told the detective. “Are you sure—”

Before he could finish the question, two strangers arrived. That is, the newcomers were strangers to me. But one, at least, a tall young woman with a frank and open face, was known to our noble guest.

“Kitty!” he cried out.

“Yes, it’s me, by gum,” was her somewhat cryptic reply.

“Lord Strachan,” Holmes said, “permit me to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Finley Morris.”

“Finley Morris!” I exclaimed. “The F.M. of Lestrade’s note?”

“The very same, Watson.” Speaking behind his hand, he added, “I’ve invariably found that, if initials figure in a case, at least two of the principals will share them.”

Lord Strachan had turned the favor of his countenance away from Mrs. Morris. She took a step toward him.

“Guess you’re plum riled with me, Philly,” she said. “Guess you’ve got a darn good reason to be.”

“Humph,” the duke’s eldest son said.

“Perhaps if you related your story,” Holmes suggested.

“I’ll be quicker than a spooked hare,” the lady replied. “Finley here is my gol-dern dad’s prospectin’ partner. They discovered the Devlin-Morris Mine together in ’eighty-one and split it three ways, with me gettin’ a third. Fin was that fond of me, even then. My low-down dad went along with it, thinkin’ it would give him control of the works, what with his vote and mine, me bein’ a young’un. But I grew up fast, and Fin and me got married — on the sly, on account of Dad bein’ dead set agin it. He didn’t want my share of the mine slippin’ out of his hands, you see.

“That very day, while Fin was out huntin’ our weddin’ supper, he got jumped by some dry-gulchin’ Jicarilla Apaches and scalped. So I was told. After that, I met His Lordship, and then we fell in again when my hornswogglin’ dad drug me over here to England. We palled around, and I finally agreed to wear Philly’s brand. Then who should show up at the church but Fin! I near to let out a war whoop, but he signaled me to keep quiet. I dropped my flowers on our way out, and he passed ’em back with a note sayin’ that he’d come fer me.”

She turned to Morris. “You’d better pan a while, Fin. I’m plumb tuckered.”

Surprisingly, Morris spoke English. “Fergus had made a deal with the Apaches to kill me, but they double-crossed him and kept me as a slave. After a couple of pretty hard years, I escaped. I trailed my partners to London and learned of Kitty’s engagement to Lord Strachan.”

“Why didn’t you confront Devlin immediately?” I asked.

“He’d tried to kill me once, and I didn’t put a second try past him, maybe with the English aristocracy taking the place of the Indians as his murderous allies. No offense, Strachan.”

“Humph,” the other replied.

“I did some checking up on His Lordship and learned that there was no danger of Kitty becoming his wife, even if she went through with the ceremony. By that, I mean I met the real Lady Strachan.”

“I beg your pardon,” said Lord Strachan, shocked into volubility.

Holmes said, “He’s referring to your common-law wife, Fannie Moreau, the woman you lived with for three years in Ottawa, a scandal that forced you out of government service.”

“There is no such thing as a common-law marriage in England,” the peer said stiffly.

“There is in Canada,” Holmes retorted. To Morris, he said, “I now understand why you didn’t confront Fergus Devlin directly, why he fears a public airing of your charges, and why you allowed your wife to go through with the farce at St. George’s. But why did you gain entrance to Devlin’s house disguised as Fannie Moreau?”

“What?” I gasped.

“Of course, Watson. That explains why two servants were required to expel one ‘woman.’ You will note that, though small, Morris is wiry.”

“I wanted to get the lay of the land, Mr. Holmes, and to pass Kitty’s maid a note, telling her mistress to come at once. We had important business to finish. You see,” he added, a blush deepening his manly tan, “we never had a honeymoon.”

“You mean a wedding trip?” I asked, confused.

“Not a journey, old fellow.”

“He means we had to do the deed,” said Mrs. Morris, without a trace of a blush.

“The deed to the mine?” I suggested, still groping.

Holmes came to my aid. “They’re trying to say that their marriage had never been consummated, Doctor. So the wily Devlin might still have had it annulled.”

“Ain’t happenin’ now,” Kitty assured us.

“Humph,” said his lordship for the final time. Shortly after that pronouncement, he left us, declining Holmes’s offer of supper. The American couple stayed and did us and themselves proud.

When they’d left in turn, I asked Holmes how he’d managed to trace them.

“You’ll recall that the receipt on the back of Lestrade’s note mentioned ‘grits.’ That’s an American breakfast delicacy made from ground corn and unlikely to be on the bill of fare at your average English hostelry. So I canvassed London hotels run by Americans for Americans. I located the loving couple and told them that — for a biggish fee — I could arrange a meeting with Lord Strachan for the purpose of clearing the air.”

“It’s a shame he wasn’t more gracious.”

“Who would be gracious, after losing a beauty and a fortune? Hand me my banjo, would you? I feel a bout of ‘Oh, Dem Golden Slippers’ coming on. Though, in honor of the happy couple, I may make the slippers silver!”

White Tights and Mary Janes

by Edwin Hill

Department of First Stories

Edwin Hill is vice president and editorial director for Bedford/St. Martin’s, a division of Macmillan. In September 2018, his debut novel, Little Comfort, will be published by Kensington Books. This first short story (his first fiction to see print) began life as a chapter from an earlier draft of that book. Its inspiration was, in part, a short stint the author once did at a for-profit college.

* * *

Shoot commercial

“That’s not us!” Amanda Burton says into the camera as her chestnut-colored hair unravels. “You got it, baby,” the director says.

What is his name again? Reuben or Monte or Hoagie? Maxine Pawlikowski can’t remember, but she does know it’s some useless sandwich. “Another take,” she says from the last row of the classroom.

Hoagie sighs and then strides up the aisle two steps at a time, pushing up those black-rimmed glasses he wears to keep the tortured-artist thing going. He wants to be imposing, or at least he acts as though he does, but the man needs a sandwich himself. Maxine could break him in two over her thick, fifty-seven-year-old Polish knee.

“What is it you want?” he whispers.

“Haven’t a clue,” Maxine says, silently daring him to say one more word. A minute later, they’re back to work.

“That’s not us!” Amanda says.

“Close, but not quite,” Maxine says.

At six one in flats, Amanda towers over Hoagie, though instead of a thirty-two-year-old woman, Maxine can only see the toddler who stumbled toward her all those years ago, the one who ran in circles and called her Aunt Maxie. The one who did belly flops into that damned above-ground pool. Those images help Maxine overlook the badly chosen boyfriends (yes, you, Hoagie), and that Amanda, as the board-appointed president of Burton University, a position she took over from her father, drew a bonus of six million last year (six point three million to be exact), all due to the long hours Maxine spent running the school.

“That’s not us!” Amanda says.

This time her eyes are wide and her dark hair swarms in an unsettling mass. She looks crazy. Super crazy. Lunatic-in-the-attic crazy. Later, Hoagie will shoot on-the-street interviews asking random people what they think when they hear “Burton University,” and most people will say things like, “Can’t you buy those diplomas online?” or “I heard they sell visas to international students,” or, Maxine’s favorite, “They offer degrees in lifelong debt.”

But That’s Not Us. Right?

Or at least that’s what Amanda says when Hoagie edits her into the shot.

Maxine had meant these ads to be a public-relations ploy — she’d come up with the slogan while lying in bed one night wondering how she could stem the tide of students dropping out of the school and suing for tuition reimbursement — but somehow the first ad had hit YouTube, gone viral, and become the latest Snuggielike sensation. Now, strangers stop Amanda on the street and beg her to say the line. And the publicity has helped with enrollments. They’re flat. For the moment, at least.

“Perfect!” Maxine says, tucking her to-do list into her bag. As she gathers her things to leave, she hears Amanda talking to the director. “Hero.” (That’s his name!) “See you at the party tonight?”

The party. Jennifer’s awful holiday benefit. Maxine had managed to forget it for a few blissful moments.

Check flowers

Burton University is housed in a repurposed South Boston sugar factory that provides six stories of high-ceilinged rooms with exposed beams and windows overlooking the Boston skyline. The school offers a film department with the latest equipment, instructors trained in coding languages, and a nursing-assistant program with internships at the best hospitals in the world. In the thirty years Maxine has worked here, the school has grown from two campuses to over fifty sites located all over the country. And if you can’t manage an on-the-ground program, if you want to take your classes at two a.m. after tucking your kids in bed, you can take them online practically anywhere in the world. Who wouldn’t want to pay top dollar for that kind of convenience?

Maxine shakes the thought away as she leaves the school, stepping into the bracing cold. She screeches out of the icy parking lot in her gold Trans Am while punching at her phone. “Tell me exactly what’s in the arrangements,” she says when a timid-sounding woman answers.

“Evergreens, roses, holly, pine cones, lilies...”

“No lilies!” Maxine says.

It isn’t her job to order flowers. It’s that useless Kathy O’Brien’s job. Maxine has told Kathy a hundred times not to order lilies because lilies make Amanda’s mother Jennifer think about drowned babies and funerals and grave sites, and tonight of all nights is not one where Maxine wants to cajole Jennifer out of her bedroom and into an evening gown. She hangs up (oh, how she misses being able to slam down the receiver) and careens through the narrow streets of downtown Boston and then up Beacon Hill, where she slides into her parking spot by the Burtons’ mansion and yanks the hand brake into place.

“Hello, darling!” Jennifer Burton says a moment later.

She perches on the salmon-colored chaise longue in the second-story salon, where a fire blazes in the fireplace. Maxine kisses her cheek while Harry brings in coffee — cream, no sugar.

“Sit with me,” Jennifer says, patting the upholstery beside her. “We’re having roast beef sandwiches for lunch!”

“No mayonnaise!” Maxine shouts after Harry.

“He knows that, dear,” Jennifer says.

“I like things done right,” Maxine says.

“He knows that too.”

Maxine slumps into a chair.

“I don’t believe Tucker will join us today,” Jennifer says. “He’s at the chiropractor. The things people are saying about the school!” She pulls her cardigan closed as if to ward off a chill in the overheated room. “It has him very stressed out.”

“It has us all stressed out,” Maxine says, wondering what, exactly, Jennifer’s husband found stressful about playing golf and squash all day. “But you know what? Screw ’em.”

“Oh, Maxine!” Jennifer says, smiling.

Jennifer has long, once-blond hair that’s gone white and the features of a bird. She drifts through the rooms of this huge house like ephemera, wearing gauzy, flowing dresses and laughing in a way that often makes Maxine wonder if she’s actually there. “I’m going over my to-do list,” Jennifer says. “The benefit will be such fun tonight! It’s my favorite day of the year!”

“Oh, mine too,” Maxine says.

Harry carries in a tray of sandwiches. Like most days, Jennifer proposes eating “right here, by the fire,” and like most days, Maxine spends the next hour listening to Jennifer’s plans for the afternoon. Today, Jennifer wants to visit the Gardner Museum, and then find Christmas gifts in “the little shops along Newbury.” Tucker is easy to buy for. “The man only wants coffee. He’s obsessed. Aromatics, acidity, finish. Insufferable, really. But I have not one clue what to get Amanda. And I must be back by five o’clock to write my toast.”

Maxine barely listens, but makes a mental note to draft out a toast for Jennifer to use.

“Kathy, darling!” Jennifer says.

Maxine turns to see the Burtons’ personal assistant Kathy O’Brien waddle into the room, her red hair tied in an odd ponytail on the side of her head.

“Join us for lunch!”

Even though the girl looks like she wants to do anything but stay — she knows about those flowers, Maxine tells herself; she knows she messed up, that she’s made it onto the wrong list again — Kathy shimmies those hips between the arms of an antique Chippendale chair and takes not one, but two sandwiches, then eats them in huge, wet mouthfuls while Jennifer asks her to recommend a gift for Amanda. Kathy sits with her mouth open, her tongue coated in unswallowed breadcrumbs. She starts to say something, but stops.

“Tell us dear,” Jennifer says. “You always have such good ideas!”

“Yes, dear. Tell us,” Maxine says.

“A putter,” Kathy says, betraying her Dorchester roots (“a puddah”).

Jennifer claps her hands together. “A wonderful idea!”

Maxine gave Amanda a new putter for her birthday, but she silently fumes while Kathy finishes her sandwiches and leaves.

“Such a lovely girl,” Jennifer says, watching Kathy lumber down the marble staircase. “Though I suppose she’s no longer a girl. She’s practically middle aged! I don’t know what I’d have done without her all these years.”

“She’s a dear.”

The doorbell rings.

“The flowers!” Maxine says. “Let me deal with the delivery. Run and grab the dress you’re wearing tonight so I can be sure we don’t look like twins.”

“We could never be twins,” Jennifer says. And this time her laugh has a rare edge to it, but she does what she’s told while Maxine hurries down the staircase. Below, the deliveryman carries bouquets into the ballroom. Maxine runs her hands through the flowers, breathing in the sweet smell of roses till she finds a single overlooked lily hiding among some holly. She crushes it in her hand.

“Surely you remember this,” Jennifer says, sailing into the room with a black-velvet gown draped over her arm. “I wear it every year. Tucker loves it. Thirty-four years of marriage and he still tells me I look like a fashion model!”

“I remember it,” Maxine says, touching the soft fabric. The dress is old-fashioned, almost dowdy, one that only someone as slender and stunning as Jennifer could get away with wearing. “It’s beautiful. You’ll be beautiful. And now I have to run.”

“The list calls?”

“Always.”

“If you see Tucker,” Jennifer says. “Tell him I’m very busy, but that he should telephone if he needs anything.”

Maxine cups Jennifer’s cheek and kisses her gently. “I will,” she says.

Jennifer hasn’t stepped outside in twenty-nine years, not since the other baby, Rachel, drowned. She won’t go anywhere today either.

Meet Tucker

Tucker groans. Maxine wants to shush him. She’s naked, standing on the cold tile floor in her kitchen, staring out the huge, floor-to-ceiling windows that line her South End loft, and praying — praying — that no one in the neighboring buildings looks this way.

Tucker turns her abruptly and hauls her onto the polished concrete counter with all the grace of a sixty-six-year-old man. Maxine closes her eyes and thinks about the first time she ever saw him, at St. Catherine College in Illinois, a dying Catholic school where she’d earned her BA and then worked her way up to dean of the college. Tucker swept into her office one day — six four and so present in a Western shirt and cowboy boots, that she actually gasped.

“I’m buying this dump,” he said, and Maxine didn’t think twice about signing on for the ride. She transformed St. Catherine’s into Burton University’s first satellite campus. Three years later, her mother, who’d met Tucker and seen the way Maxine looked at him, cautioned her against moving to Boston. “Is this all you want?”

“It’s what I want now,” Maxine said.

Back then, Jennifer and Tucker lived in Quincy, in a postwar Cape with a swing set and that aboveground pool. Maxine moved to town without a single friend. She went to their house whenever they asked, where Amanda and the other baby, Rachel, with their pink dresses and curls, with their white tights and tiny Mary Janes, would take her by the hand and invite her to tea, where the only choice, the only challenge, was saltines or graham crackers.

Tucker kisses Maxine. “You’re off somewhere,” he says.

She runs her fingers through his thick white hair and feels that affection for him all over again. She’s happy with her choices. He’s good and oddly faithful for a married man.

“Worried about the school?” he asks.

“They don’t realize who they’re messing with.”

“You’ve always been a sly fox.”

“I haven’t had any other choice.”

Of course, there had been plenty of choices. Maxine could have stayed in Illinois and grown old like her mother. She could have married that boy she used to bring to the house in Quincy, the one who taught biology and finally gave up and moved to Vermont. She could have said no to an exhausted Tucker, who appeared at her Somerville apartment with Amanda the night Rachel drowned.

“Only for a few days,” Tucker had said. “Watch her. Don’t let her out of your sight.”

And Maxine could have said no a few nights later when Tucker returned. Instead, she stood by the door in her pajamas till his banging woke up her neighbors, her fingers on the latch, her cheek pressed to the cool, smooth molding. She’d waited till his voice softened before opening the door.

One option she hasn’t considered is regret. Surely Jennifer knows more than she lets on. She’s probably relieved to be free of the burden.

“Let’s skip the benefit,” Tucker whispers. “Let’s stay in bed for a week.”

“I can’t.”

“Please.”

Maxine nestles into the crook of his arm, her one safe place, while he fumbles with the bottle of blue pills.

“You’re a pervert,” she says.

“That I am.”

Write ESL department

Dear ESL Instructors:

Due to budgetary cuts beyond the control of the university, we will be eliminating all ESL courses beginning January 1. As a result of this unfortunate decision, your contracts will not be renewed. Please refer to Section 2, paragraph 3.b. of your contract for details on severance, unemployment compensation, and insurance. Transfers to new departments will not be considered.

Maxine reads through the e-mail three times for typos. Only after she hits Send does she realize that the message went out with her standard signature:

Everyone at Burton University wishes you a safe and happy holiday season! Ho, ho, ho!

Best wishes,

Maxine Pawlikowski

Vice President of Academic Affairs

An army of decorators hangs wreaths, garlands, lights, and baubles in every room of the Burtons’ house. Maxine heads straight for the ballroom, where she has to concede that Kathy’s done a competent job setting up the silent auction. She bids $100 on a pair of sapphire earrings to get things going. “When does the string quartet arrive?” she hollers through the cellar door.

Kathy waddles to the foot of the stairs, and then climbs to where Maxine waits. “Six,” she says between gasps.

The girl has a smear of chocolate on the side of her mouth that Maxine dabs at with a hand wipe. “Make sure the ice sculptures are in the courtyard,” she says. “I don’t want them to melt this year.”

Upstairs, she finds Jennifer sitting at her vanity reapplying makeup.

“You don’t need that,” Maxine says, stashing away the compact before Jennifer gives herself a rash. “Lipstick and mascara and you’ll be good to go.” She fumbles through Jennifer’s jewelry box till she finds the ruby earrings Tucker bought for their twenty-fifth anniversary. “And these. Very Christmasy, don’t you think?”

Jennifer grips Maxine’s wrist with her icy fingers. “I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can,” Maxine says, digging in her purse for the speech she wrote. “Here. Read this.”

Downstairs, through the courtyard and into the guesthouse, Maxine joins Amanda in her dressing room.

“White or black?” Amanda asks, holding up two dresses.

Maxine collapses into one of the gray, overstuffed chairs by Amanda’s dressing table. “White,” she says. “But call it winter white.”

Amanda tosses the rejected dress on the floor, and then shimmies into the white one. “What a day!” she says.

“You look pretty,” Maxine says, as she takes Amanda’s hand in hers.

“Want a drink?”

“Do I ever.”

At the stroke of 8 P.M., Jennifer hovers on the marble staircase with Tucker and Amanda anchoring her on each side. She reads the toast Maxine wrote and is resplendent in her Christmas velvet. After she finishes, the party guests applaud and disperse. Maxine piles half a dozen hors d’oeuvres onto a cocktail napkin. The caviar station is mobbed. So is the dessert buffet. In the kitchen, caterers work in an intense silence, and in the ballroom, Maxine checks the bidding. The sapphire earrings have already gone to eight hundred dollars. She adds another hundred bucks and promises to stop there. Out in the foyer, she stands against a wall and watches Amanda stride through the crowd with Hero in tow. Amanda’s hair is perched on top of her head in a terrifying ball that threatens to explode. Hero’s shown up to the formal event wearing a tight T-shirt and even tighter jeans. “He’s a brilliant filmmaker!” Amanda says to a random crowd.

Maxine retreats to the courtyard. Her breath freezes as she holds her fingertips under her arms. The ice sculptures of dolphins — Burton University’s logo — glimmer beneath a canopy of tiny white lights. Music from the string quartet filters into the night while two couples dance. If she waits long enough, will Tucker come find her? Will he bring her a Manhattan and drape his coat over her shoulders? She glances at her watch. Five more minutes. She’ll go inside in five minutes.

By the front door, Jennifer greets a few late arrivals with a frosty hand. Tucker stands at her side looking grand in a tuxedo. They are a handsome couple. Jennifer grips Maxine’s hand. “My favorite day of the year,” she whispers.

Jennifer couldn’t be more brittle had she been spun from sugar.

“Tucker,” Maxine says.

“Maxine,” he says, and then excuses himself without a single sign of affection. It’s how they’ve survived all these years. It’s how they’ve kept their secrets.

“I told him to bid, bid, bid,” Jennifer says. “And you must bid too. What do you have your eye on?”

“A pair of earrings,” Maxine says. “Most of the other items are out of my league.”

“Then we’ll be sure no one steals them from you,” Jennifer says, smiling to greet another guest. “Kathy did an amazing job with the auction. With everything.”

“You think?”

“Honestly, darling. All you do is pick on her. Really, you can be so unpleasant.”

The comment hurts more than it should. Maxine inhales too sharply, and then fumbles for a response, but before it forms, the front door opens on a little man in a green parka whom Maxine remembers from somewhere, but can’t place exactly where. Harry steps forward to take his coat, but the man brushes him aside.

“An e-mail?” the man says to Maxine.

That’s right. He teaches ESL at the school. Or at least he did till this afternoon. Maxine can’t remember his name. She puts a hand to her hair and runs a finger along her pearls. Everything in place. Behind her, the crowd grows quiet in a gentle wave. A swirl of frigid wind sweeps through the party, lifting skirts and hair, sending cocktail napkins flitting across the black-and-white marble floor.

The man lunges. Fist raised. And in that second, Maxine notices his wire-rimmed glasses and the dirty white sneakers that poke from beneath his coat. She imagines what a fist to the face might feel like, the sharp jab of pain, cracked bones and teeth, the explosion of tinny blood in her mouth. She wants to slap herself for flinching when the fist stops an inch before contact. The man stares at her. She wonders if anyone — Tucker, maybe? — will come to her defense.

“Have a safe and happy holiday season,” the man whispers. “Ho, ho, ho.”

Then he leaves, through the open front door and into the wintery night, where his sneakers are the last part of him to fade into the dark. Maxine stares at where the fist stopped. Her legs nearly buckle. Behind her, no one makes a sound. No one moves for what seems like hours.

“That’s not us!”

Amanda’s climbed onto one of the Chippendale chairs. Her hair has begun to unravel and her eyes are wide. She raises a glass of champagne, and with that, the spell breaks. Harry closes the door. The string quartet begins to play, and conversation rises to a dull roar.

“We should call the police,” Jennifer says. “That man is a menace!”

Maxine waves away the suggestion, but excuses herself anyway. She stumbles into the ballroom, where Tucker puts a hand in the crook of her arm. “You were so brave,” he whispers in her ear, and a moment later they’re upstairs in a bedroom while Tucker struggles to work a hand beneath her Spanx.

Maxine shoves him away. “I can’t,” she says, retreating to a bathroom.

She splashes water on her face and pinches her cheeks. She puts both hands on the sink and throws up. Stupid. Stop being stupid. Pull it together. Breathe. She wipes tears from her face with a balled-up fist. Someone knocks. “Hold your horses,” she shouts, rinsing bile from her mouth, and, a moment later, orders a Manhattan at the bar. She sucks it down. It burns. She fishes the cherry out of her glass and tastes the alcoholic sweetness. She surveys the room only to see the door to Kathy’s damp basement office swing open. Kathy, disheveled, lipstick smeared, red hair falling from her up-do, plods into the party. She pulls the back of her skirt from her underwear and grins. A moment later, Hero, smug, already lighting up a cigaret, follows.

Maxine has had enough. It’s time for the best night of the year to come to an end. She looks for Jennifer so that the two of them can retreat and sit up all night as Jennifer talks in breathy tones about the “wonderful” people who came to the party.

“Ready?” Maxine asks.

“Yes, dear.” Jennifer turns her head so that the sapphire earrings sparkle in the light from the Christmas tree. “From Tucker.”

“From Tucker?” Maxine says.

“Such a dear man. He won them in the auction!”

Oh, well.

“They’re beautiful,” Maxine says with a smile, taking her friend’s arm in hers as they walk up the grand staircase. On the landing, they stop for one last look at the evening. Down below, Amanda’s head bobs above the sea of party guests. She glances up as if sensing that the two older women are watching, and when she flicks them a grin, it stuns Maxine.

That tiny girl.

The one in white tights and Mary Janes.

She’s become this adult.

Could Maxine have loved her own child more? To Maxine, Amanda will always be delicate and precious and, like her sister Rachel should have been, worth any choice. “Do you ever...” Maxine begins.

“Do I ever what, dear?” Jennifer asks.

“Nothing.”

Maxine had nearly asked whether Jennifer thought Rachel would have grown to be tall like Amanda, but it was best not to speak of Rachel. Best not to remember.

“Watch her,” Tucker had said all those years ago, when he’d shoved Amanda at Maxine. “Don’t let her out of your sight.”

The stench of chlorine rose from Amanda’s damp hair, and the child’s arms were covered in bloody welts. Maxine remembered the call from earlier that day, Jennifer’s long, mournful wails. “I can’t do this,” Maxine had said after listening for what seemed like hours. “I can’t take care of you anymore.”

So, she didn’t ask herself whether driving the twenty minutes to Quincy would have mattered. She didn’t tell herself that she never could have imagined any of this. And she didn’t ask Tucker what Jennifer had done. It was too late anyway. Instead, Maxine clutched Amanda to her chest, where the tiny child sucked her thumb and closed her eyes. And ever since, Maxine had held Amanda as close as she dared. And watched her. Protected her. Kept her safe. Every day. And Amanda had grown.

“You’re quiet,” Jennifer says. “What are you thinking about?”

“Oh, the usual,” Maxine says. “Do you ever worry about the school? What if it shuts down? What will happen? To this house? To our lives?”

“Oh no, dear,” Jennifer says. “You’ll take care of us. You always have. You always do.”

“Even when I can be a little unpleasant?”

Jennifer turns down the sheets on her bed and smiles without meeting Maxine’s eyes. “Especially then.”

“Did you raise a lot of money tonight?”

“I suspect so!” Jennifer says. “Though Kathy will sort out the details in the morning.”

Meaning Maxine will need to check the math. That useless girl! As Maxine puts on her pajamas and climbs into bed beside Jennifer, she flashes forward a few days to when Kathy finally realizes that Hero won’t choose her. The girl has no sense. Doesn’t she know that love isn’t a tryst in a damp basement office? Doesn’t she know that she can’t compete against Amanda Burton, who has youth and money and confidence? “But I love Hero,” Kathy will sob, wiping her nose with the back of her hand.

And even though Kathy screws up the tiniest of tasks, even though she made it onto the wrong list years ago, Maxine will sit with her till the sobbing subsides. “I know you do,” she’ll say.

She might even take that snotty little hand in hers and give it a gentle squeeze.

Tapping the Glass

by Jane Jakeman

Jane Jakeman is a freelance journalist with a doctorate in art history. Among her novels are four featuring the Byronic detective Lord Ambrose Malfine. Endeavour Press recently released digital editions of the books. PW has praised the series for its “realistic and admirable characters” and Library Journal for its “excellent prose.” The Oxford author also reviews fiction for the Independent.

* * *

At first there were just a few soft noises.

I couldn’t make out where I they were coming from and at that point I didn’t care. I’d got back on a late July evening, when Oxford was full of the smells of traffic and wine and the air was full of dust. I’d spent a long day in the Bodleian, shut away from the pleasures outside, as I buried my head in letters from people who were long dead. I wanted a busy street, I wanted an ice-cold lager, and I would go out for one as soon as I had washed off that peculiar dust of old libraries, the crumbled scurf of centuries that had accumulated in my clothing — even in my hair, in the very folds of my skin. Whatever the reason, I just knew I wanted to get out of the place.

I hadn’t thought I would feel like this when I had taken the rooms in Holywell House.

“The College can let you have these rooms for the summer, Mr... er...”

“Nicolaides,” I said helpfully.

The bursar, who dealt with all college business, gave a twitch that might have been a smile. She was pin-thin, dressed in an expensive black suit, and immaculately made up.

“Ah, yes. But you will have to fend for yourself with the cleaning and cooking and so on.”

“No problem,” I said. St. Grimbald’s College owned this house, an eighteenth-century building that seemed to have had little in the way of restoration over the centuries. My rooms were on the upper floor. I had an undistinguished small bedroom at the back of the house, and the bathroom was a late-Victorian plumbing triumph with the additions of a stained mirror and wooden towel rail and chair, but the first-floor sitting room was beautiful in an exhausted sort of way. It surely had the original panelling and quite possibly the original paint, a badly scuffed pale green, and was generously proportioned, large enough to function comfortably as study and sitting room. There was a decent small table, where I could eat or work, and two splendid long windows that overlooked the street. Beneath them ran a long boxed window seat with a faded velvet cushion. It would be pleasant to sit there on a summer’s evening and watch the passersby below. And, which most attracted me, it was a few minutes away from the Bodleian Library.

Most of my fellow postgraduates had gone away for the vacation, but I needed somewhere to spend the summer while I finished my thesis and the college would be hosting large parties of summer-school students, a most valuable annual crop which Oxford carefully cultivates. The bursar had promised to find me somewhere for August, a period known as “deep vacation” when the city is given over to tourists and other moneymaking enterprises. And fortunately the once rather grand first-floor salon in which we then stood was available. Indeed, the bursar informed me, the whole house was empty till the next university term, quaintly called Michaelmas but of course not pronounced like that — “Mickelmass” or something like that is the correct pronunciation. I have great difficulty with the illogicalities of Oxford.

“And that begins in October, so you will not be disturbed all summer,” said the bursar.

“When can I move in?”

The bursar cast her eyes upwards, presumably to indicate deep consideration, but she said very quickly, “Tomorrow? The college would charge you from the beginning of next month.”

“Wow!” said my friend Monty when we finally got to have an ice-cold lager later that evening.

Monty, whom I had met in the Bodleian, was really the Honourable Montague Justinian Penderfrith Chalmers-Pallanby, the latter pronounced Charmers-Polby, as I had discovered when a girl teased him about it, and he was apparently in the direct lineage of some ancient family. He rather liked talking to me, I fancy, because I knew nothing and cared less about the English aristocracy. My Scottish mother was a humble tourist guide from a “wee croftie” in the Highlands and my Greek father’s family has occasionally claimed descent from Zeus, which would obviously trump anything the English nobility had to offer.

Monty, for all his blue blood, was very keen on economics, the subject of his research, and indeed liked money in general, I had noticed when buying a “round,” a term with which he had made me familiar. I was not surprised when he commented that not only was the college charging me a very low rent, but that the bursar was actually letting me off a week.

“I thought that woman had a heart of stone,” he commented. “What have you done to her?”

I modestly batted my long black eyelashes. “I drive your British women wild!”

“All the same, it is odd,” he said, ignoring the provocation with aristocratic cool. “Who had the room last year? D’you know?”

“No idea.”

There had somehow been stale air, the feeling that the room had perhaps not been occupied for some long time. I opened the windows to let in fresh air when I first took over the place, and lifted the cushion off the window seat and raised the hinged lid. The dusty interior had been roughly carpentered, the boards not fitting quite together. It was empty. Useful for storing my books, especially if it could be cleaned up a bit. I take some pride in my small library, though of course I have to use the Internet — who doesn’t, these days? — but I love the smell of a book, the experience of opening one and turning the pages back and forth at my leisure. My books had been crated to Oxford, and I badly wanted to set them out, to look through them again. The crate stood even now in the centre of the room and I was anxious to begin.

The boards inside the window seat had to be cleaned up first. I examined the interior carefully. The thick dust had to be removed, obviously. I swept up the dust, clouds of which flew out into my face, and could then see that there was blackish dirt lodged between the boards of the lining. Irritated, I determined to finish the job properly — I would certainly not put my treasured calf-bound editions of Byron’s poems into the window seat till the work was done.

There was some cutlery provided by the college in a kitchen drawer. I picked out a small cooking knife and slid the blade experimentally between the boards, digging out a good deal of compacted dirt as I went along. I made good progress, cleaning up the mess as I went, but suddenly the blade caught on something and dragged it along. A scrap of something light-coloured appeared and I was able to get hold of it with my fingers and pull it out. It was a long strip of yellowed paper, curling and torn.

Holding it up to the light, I saw to my astonishment that it appeared to be written in nothing other than Latin. Not in modern script, probably that of a couple of centuries ago, and maybe the hand of someone who had learned Latin as a student, even here, perhaps, in Oxford. But although I had studied Latin — even needed it occasionally for my work on old texts — the words made no sense to me.

I laid aside my efforts at deciphering, placed the strip of paper on my table, and returned to my domestic task. The inside of the window seat still looked decidedly dirty and I fetched a bowl of water and washed it out. Then I left the lid open so that it could dry more quickly. As for the scrap of Latin script, I laid it between two sheets of clean paper and weighed it down to flatten it out. Beside it on the table I put a pile of books, intending to sort them out before putting them in the window seat.

The next day I looked at the slip of paper again. The handwriting was cramped and difficult to read, but I began to transcribe it on a separate sheet. Though I still couldn’t fathom the meanings, it looked like a list:

Libellula, Ephemera, Phryganea, Hemerobius, Panorpa, Raphidia, Oesyrus, Tipula, Musca, Tabanus, Culex, Empis, Conops, Asilus, Bombylius, Hippobosca

None of this meant anything to me — this was not a Latin vocabulary I had ever encountered. I put the list down on the table again. The inside of the window seat was still damp and would probably take a day or two longer to dry out. A few days later I put the lid down and the cushion back in place, intending to buy some lining paper before I put my books inside.

The thuds in the room were so dulled and occasional that they were not bothersome for a while, until the weather became exceptionally warm for England — that is to say, some degrees above freezing. At any rate, the summer seemed to have reached its full blossoming.

One humid late-summer evening the sounds became insistent and I was forced to put down my notes.

What part of the room were the noises coming from? I got up and stood in the centre and began to feel a most peculiar fear of, as it were, being exposed on all sides. I was overcome by a primitive sensation: I badly wanted to have “my back to the wall,” as the English expression goes. The air surrounding me seemed to be full of warm, swirling currents. I crossed the room, at each step feeling more and more vulnerable, and reached the open window, where I stopped in my tracks and listened.

The sound was coming — thud, thud, thud — from below the glass, and now had been joined by a deep buzzing which formed a continuous angry background. The noises had to be, and yet I did not want to admit this, coming from inside my room. This was no outside agency against which I could bolt my door and shut the window. It was within.

I was disturbed more than I can say, for the horrible thought occurred to me that the sounds were somehow in my head, throbbing against my skull, banging against the bone. Without thinking, I rushed down the stairs and out into the street, where an uncertain warm breeze was fluttering scraps of paper in the gutter: This movement, quivering at the edges of my vision, unnerved me totally. From the pub on the corner of the road came laugher and music and for once I was glad to hear the raucous sounds of student enjoyment. I turned sharply into the bar and pushed my way in through the crowd. When a hand fell on my shoulder just as I was ordering a whisky, I literally jumped.

“Mine’s a pint of Morrell’s.”

We sat down in the “quiet room” at the back — well, quieter, at least. I tried to explain.

“Noises? Wooo...?”

Was he making fun? But Monty was staring at me now. “Sorry. You look as if you’ve...?” Something in my face must have restrained any further jocularity.

Reluctantly, I told him about the thuds, and another small incident which otherwise I might not have thought of mentioning, but which now struck me as among the peculiarities of my rooms. I had woken up and breathed in some unpleasant smell that jogged my memory — what did it remind me of? Not anything here, not Oxford or England. Something in Greece.

Yes, it came to me — the smell of a Greek butcher’s shop, with the sides of meat hanging up outside, the odour of blood and offal, the kind of place one never encountered in this orderly country of Britain where all kinds of hygienic regulations ensured that the raw, the real and animal, was kept safely under wraps. But there again, the smell had gone when I was fully awake. I did not tell Monty my own conclusion, but underneath his light-minded exterior he is an intelligent man and no doubt worked it out for himself. What I had experienced must have been part of a dream, revisiting the country in which I had spent my childhood. Homesickness, perhaps.

When Monty said, after my second whisky, which he had uncharacteristically pressed upon me, “Come on, then!” I followed him out of the pub. Five minutes later we were at the foot of my stairs. I switched on the light though it was not yet dark. Monty shouldered his way past me in the narrow space and charged upstairs. I wanted to shout, “Wait, take care!” but what reason could there be to tread gently in this perfectly ordinary college house in the centre of a city? All I could say was that I had heard some strange sounds — not even menacing ones — and perhaps I had smelled or imagined an odd odour.

Monty was quickly through the door of my room, and I followed. We stood still for a moment at the threshold, hearing the muffled thudding sounds. At least I had not imagined them. Monty moved quietly to the centre of the room, looking all round, his deep-set eyes searching the walls, then the ceiling. Gradually, as if drawn by sound and not sight, he moved towards the window, then stood still. As I followed, moving as quietly as I could, he stared at me in astonishment and bent lower over the window seat, almost pressing his ear against the cushion. Then he lifted it and said softly, “Open the window.” Mystified but caught by the urgency in his tone, I reached over, untwisted the lock, and slid up the lower frame.

With a sudden jerk, Monty pulled up the top of the window seat and out flew a dark cloud, buzzing and fluttering desperately to escape, pouring through the open space as if it were an airborne flow of some blackish current and out into the street.

Peering down into the box below, I saw a writhing mass covering the bottom of the box, with here and there a veined wing fluttering in the struggle to pull an iridescent body up out of the morass. I jerked back as something hit my cheek and then streaked upwards to the light of the window.

“My God, you had a nest of bluebottles!” said Monty. “Ugh, revolting things. Fetch the vacuum cleaner.”

We hoovered up the dead flies and their still-unhatched companions, wriggling semilucent white grubs. It was an unpleasant task, made nastier by the transparency of the dust container, through which we saw a mass of churning corpses with smashed eyes whirling around until at last all settled into a composite, still wetness. Somehow we scraped this out into the dustbin and washed the container clean.

I sank into a chair. To tell the truth, my feelings were in rather a turmoil, disgust for the creatures and yet a kind of pity for their horrid end, like corpses flung high on a battlefield. The determination of nature to survive, yes, I had seen it in that sucked mass as dying creatures twitched against the leaking bodies of their fellows in a last attempt at life.

“How the hell did they come there? Had you seen any sign of them?” said Monty, but I shook my head. “I hadn’t even seen one,” I said. “God knows how they got into that window seat.”

“I suppose maybe one of them had got trapped in there,” said Monty, “and laid a mass of eggs. But what—?”

“I don’t know anything about these great big flies,” I said. “These bluebottles. But I suppose when they hatch... or whatever they do... there must be something they can—”

“They can feed off,” finished Monty. He walked over to the window seat and peered down into it. “Doesn’t seem to be anything there. Thought there might be a dead bird or something like that. But it’s empty.” He dropped the lid down and I instinctively jumped at the sound.

“Hey, you’re a nervous wreck! Don’t let it get to you. But I tell you what, the college should have had this room properly cleaned after the student before you left. The cleaners can’t have done their job — they must have left something nasty inside that window seat, even if we can’t see anything now. I’d complain to the bursar, if I were you. After all, it’s a pretty filthy state of affairs. Those creatures spread all kinds of diseases.”

The thought of complaining to that iron-jacketed mannequin made me shake my head and say firmly, “No. It’s over now — I’ll just forget about it.”

Monty looked at me with some concern. “Nasty thing to happen, all the same, in the room where you have to eat and work.”

This made me feel even worse, and I clattered down the stairs, followed by Monty, who volunteered another round in the King’s Arms. I had dinner there too — English pub food. Eating in that room, heating something on the little gas burner or in the microwave (St. Grimbald’s College’s one concession to modernity) that sat behind a curtain in a corner, revolted me. I imagined those creatures discovered in my food or seeing them on my plate, and my stomach churned.

I should perhaps have gone to the bursar straightaway, but I put it off as an unpleasantness and managed to forget the incident for a few days. It had been a freak occurrence, that was all.

My college did not offer meals to its own students in the depths of the long vacation, for the kitchens were too busy with summer schools staying for a short course of study. So the following evening, when I had worked late at the library, I went up the stairs to my rooms, telling myself I must put that unpleasant experience out of my mind. I did not even have to cook anything, having bought a pizza from an Italian takeaway, and I had a bottle of decent Barolo stashed away. I poured a glass, put the pizza on a plate, and sat down with a good appetite at the little table of the type which the English call a “gateleg.”

The plate, part of the minimum student equipment supplied with the room, was of a coarse plain white china. I had eaten several forkfuls when I sensed, rather than saw, something that seemed to flutter just out of sight, and as I turned my head to look for it a small object banged down hard against my plate. I rose up, the fork with food upon it still grasped in my hand, and then, a real horror, the filthy thing flew upwards against my lip and narrowly missed my mouth. I say “filthy thing,” for now I could see as it fell upon the table that it was one of those gross fat creatures that had tormented me a few evenings before. I almost vomited and held my napkin across my mouth. Where had it come from?

The bursar, I was told when I went to the college office next day, was away on holiday. No, there was no one who could deal with a complaint about college property in the meantime. If it recurred, of course I could submit a report in writing...

“We have to try and look at this rationally,” said Monty when we met after this fruitless effort to sort out the nastiness in my room. “Even scientifically. But we’re neither of us scientists, so we have to find one. Someone who knows about insects. There’s a girl I know a bit... well, I’d like to know her better, actually, I met her at a party. But the point is, she studies insects. She can sort out these bugs for us.”

I had no better ideas. I would have difficulty finding another place this late in the summer and besides, the rooms would suit me very well if this infestation could be dealt with and I could be sure of no recurrence.

Bernie (actually Bernadette, Monty explained) had a pale face and thin cheeks with long dark hair pulled up into a rather elegant plait. She seemed to be a more sophisticated person than the openly admiring Monty, who hung on her every word. She had that quality of paying close attention which probably makes a first-rate scientist, and sat at our table in the King’s Arms listening intently. When we had finished, she merely said, “Do you have any specimens?”

We looked at each other. Not only had we not thought to keep any of the disgusting creatures, but I felt rather sick at the idea of doing so.

“There might be one or two left,” offered Monty, clearly anxious that Bernie should not lose interest in our experience.

“Very well, let’s go and see.” I felt that I had to say this, and a strange feeling of hostly obligation overcame me, which I can only attribute to my Greek ancestry, where the courtesies owed by a host to a guest are absolute, even if they must consist in attempting to produce a dead bluebottle for the evening’s entertainment. So we trekked back to my room. I stood at a distance while Bernie, with total composure, raised the lid of the window seat and Monty stood close by, but not, I noticed, really, really close.

“Aha!” said Bernie, her head inside the window seat. “I think there’s one in this corner. Do you have a spoon you don’t want?”

I found a piece of bent college cutlery in a drawer. Bernie scooped into a corner and lifted the spoon up for our scrutiny.

In the bowl lay a large glistening blue fly with huge staring eyes.

“Calliphora vomitoria,” said Bernie triumphantly.

“Vomitoria? Sounds right to me,” I said feebly.

“The common bluebottle. But the interesting thing is, what were the maggots feeding on?”

“Maggots? Those little white things we saw?”

“Exactly, but they have tiny black jaws with hooks for tearing their food — you can see those under a microscope. I could...”

“No, thank you.” I was fearful of an offer. This woman’s enthusiasm for bugs was unstoppable.

“You see,” she continued enthusiastically, “the eggs are usually laid in some decomposing food or dead creature.”

“Exactly what I thought,” said Monty, triumphant at his entomological knowledge.

“When you find them indoors like this,” continued Bernie, “there’ll often be the remains of a rat or a bird that they’ve been feeding on. But I can’t see anything.”

“I’ve cleaned the window seat out,” I said. “I was going to put some books in it.”

Bernie peered in again. “Maybe there’s something left. Oh, I don’t know, it’s so old, this wood, perhaps something’s sunk into it. Have you got a clean envelope? And a knife.”

I was reluctant to offer up any more cutlery, but Monty produced a Swiss Army knife. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised — the English aristocracy probably carry these things from boyhood, very handy for cutting the string on braces of pheasants or getting stones out of polo ponies’ hooves, that sort of thing. Monty was plainly thrilled to be of service.

“Okay. You’ll have to sterilise it afterwards.”

She leaned in again and scraped at the bottom of the window seat. “There’s some dust still here in the corners, I think there’s something... Get me another envelope, would you? Good, I’ll take this lot back to the lab.”

At this point I remembered the scrap of paper I had found stuck between the cracks in the wood at the bottom of the window seat. “There was something at the bottom — look, here it is. Couldn’t make head or tail of it.”

Bernie stared at the crumpled strip, then looked up at me in astonishment. “Do you know what this is?” She began to read out some of the words, “Libellula, ephemera,” and then stopped, got up, and said, “Look, I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon?”

“In the pub?” said Monty, hopefully.

“In the university museum. I’ll show you something interesting.”

“Come on, where’s your fighting spirit?” said Monty after lunch next day.

“Just to see a bunch of old insects?”

“Courage! What about those ancient Greek heroes — aren’t you proud of them? Achilles... and, er, Hector?”

“He was a Trojan,” I said, but I put on my jacket.

The Oxford University Museum of Natural History is one of those great Victorian buildings that one finds in Britain, like the Victoria and Albert, for instance, proud creations and temples to earnest improvement. The Oxford Museum is surprisingly light and airy, with a great glass-house type roof covering the main arcade. There are galleries higher up running around the central hall, where the enormous bones of dinosaurs have been wired together to stand again, and the most famous attraction, part of the last surviving Dodo bird, attracts hordes of children. We left the sound of their chatter below and followed Bernie up a staircase to a long arched gallery with displays of glass cases.

I peered in cautiously. There was no going back. I could hardly turn and flee down the stone staircase and away from all those wings and feelers. I forced myself to march closer to the nearest case.

And jumped back in shock. I was gazing at the biggest cockroach I had ever seen, fully a metre long.

“Just a large-scale model,” said Bernie, and I breathed again. “There’s another interesting cockroach here — a real one. Dead, of course,” she added kindly, as I gazed at a creature with a long brown projection from its... well, it didn’t have a face, not really; a face of nightmares, perhaps. “Macropanesthia rhinoceros. The Rhinoceros Cockroach,” said the label.

“They aren’t...?” began Monty feebly.

“No, don’t worry, this comes from Australia. But turn round and look behind you.”

The Entomology Gallery seemed very narrow: There was no distance at all between me and the glass case opposite the cockroaches. A big label hung over it.

“Diptera,” said Bernie. “That means—”

“Two wings,” I pronounced. “There are some advantages in being half Greek.”

Bernie looked at me with approval.

“Exactly. What you found was a list of some insects, of Diptera, from the eighteenth-century Swedish scientist Linnaeus.”

Monty came in here. “I’ve heard of him, at any rate. He’s famous, surely. Animal, vegetable, mineral. He classsified everything.”

“Yes, and that list is part of his classification for flies. Astonishing creatures, they are — they can move in all directions, upside down, hover, fly backwards. Now have a good look here.”

There was another of those horrible enormous models in the front of the case, this time of a pair of giant eyes, but I tried to avoid their gaze and followed Bernie’s pointing finger to the small creatures in the background.

“Bluebottles,” I said triumphantly, “Calliphora vomitoria,” recognising those loathsome glistening bodies and forcing myself to look at the information displayed neatly alongside the damned things, but what I took in mainly from the text was that, as Bernie had said, the eggs were laid in some moist and rotting matter. There was a photograph of a recently dead nestling, with bare patches of discoloured skin covered with investigating bluebottles.

“The thing is,” said Bernie, “there was nothing inside your window seat for the maggots to feed off. So I was really puzzled about where they came from. And I used the scrapings I took from the wood to carry out some tests. There was some brownish matter. And some wet wood.”

“Yes,” I said, and a horrible idea was forming in my mind.

“It’s quite inexplicable,” said Bernie. “The brownish stuff is blood.”

She seemed to know what the next question would be.

“Yes. Human.”

The words seemed to echo down the Gothic archways.

How old? That was the obvious question forming in my mind, but Bernie said as we walked along the gallery, “Don’t worry, it’s not recent. Can’t tell exactly how old it is without some detailed tests. Come on, we’ve seen the life cycle of the bluebottle. That’s the thing.”

To our right, the cases progressed through various types of Diptera. I was beginning to feel rather bolder about looking at the creatures, even enjoying the sad beauty of some soft and velvety butterflies, long dead.

Then came a tall case with greenery growing up inside it and something furry with a body about the size of my palm lying under dark leaves. It had long legs of a strange pinkish colour.

“It’s a tarantula,” said Bernie encouragingly, and I was peering in, proud of my courage, when I saw the large printed admonition.

PLEASE DO NOT TAP ON THE GLASS

It dawned on me.

“My God, it’s alive!”

At that moment a small boy came up, peered in, saw the creature, and immediately, as if by some small boy’s unerring instinct, tapped on the glass.

The spider rushed forward and reared up its front legs. I saw a nest of small eyes peering out of the hair.

The small boy gave a little shriek and ran away.

“The Salmon-Pink Bird Eater, officially Lasiodora parahybana. This is the third-largest species in the world,” said Bernie with pride. “She’s got a ten-inch leg span. Now, what does that name mean?”

“Well,” I said, wanting to prove a good student but wary of making a fool of myself, “Modern Greek isn’t quite the same as the classical language. But Lasiodora — I think that would mean ‘shaggy skin.’ Parahybana — that I don’t know.”

“Shaggy, hairy, yes, that describes madam here well, don’t you think? Don’t worry about the Parahybana bit,” said Bernie. “That’s just the name of the place in Brazil where the species was found.”

“I’ll just call her Lassie, if you don’t mind,” said Monty.

“They breed well in captivity,” Bernie continued, “but we have to try and keep people from tapping on the glass. Children always want to watch her react — as you saw, she rears up if she’s alarmed.”

Lasiodora parahybana was not the only creature who was alarmed, I thought. But Monty was pondering something else. “What about all those eyes? And Bird Eater, does she really?” he asked.

His thirst for knowledge was proving too much, I thought, horrified at the thought of those thick hairy legs crawling over some poor nestling, but Bernie answered briskly, “She’s got eight eyes, like most spiders. And they don’t usually eat birds — more large insects, frogs, that sort of thing. They can bite, but they’re very unlikely to do much harm to a human being with their fangs.”

The tiny eyes, like black beads, glinted from the depths of the Salmon Pink’s hairy head. “Fangs? They could do it with a look,” I said, and was only partly joking.

I turned away and hurried on beyond the Salmon Pink, the others following me. At the corner of the gallery was a rope closing off a section to the public, but just beyond the rope I could see a painting hanging on the wall. The lighting there was dim, but there was a figure appearing within the frame, and the shape of it, perhaps combined with the nervous aftereffects of the creatures I had been observing, filled me with dread — that angry countenance, the shrunken limbs. I feared it, and my fear was all the greater for not knowing why I did so.

“Who is that?”

Bernie and Monty were obviously startled by the urgency of my question.

“Sir Lucas Carew. An insect collector, famous in his day,” answered Bernie. “He died in about — oh, seventeen fifty, I think. There were some oddities about him, I believe. He was a fellow of your college, as a matter of fact.”

“Oddities?”

She hesitated. “Oh, just stories. You know, passed down through generations of students. I was told about it in my second year.”

“What stories?”

“Well, he left his collection to the college.”

“And?” I felt there must be more.

“The gift was refused. No one ever knew the reason.”

That night I slept badly. At one time, a figure approached me and as it drew slowly closer, shuffling and leaning on a stick, I saw, with the mistiness of a dream, an old man in the dress of some earlier age, with back bent. His small shrivelled face had red and angry cheeks. I was sure that he intended me harm as he crept closer, but awoke with a jerk before he could reach out to me. So real did he seem to me that I forgot for some time that I had seen the portrait of such a being hanging in the university museum.

The next morning, I could think of nothing better than to leave the place. That single fly that had flown into my face as I started to eat my meal — it could be the first of hundreds more. God knew where they might be breeding still. Anywhere must be better than the possibility of facing another swarm of those “Diptera,” and now that I knew more about them, it added to my disgust, rather than, as I suspect Bernie had hoped, detracting from it. Looking back, I realised that I should have made more of a study of them. As Pope said, “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.” I had learned enough to hate the creatures, yet not enough to respect them. But there was that portrait also. Was it eighteenth-century dress the old man in my dream had been wearing?

“No, don’t think of packing up,” said Bernie, when they called round to see me the next day and Monty nodded his head in agreement. They seemed to be acting pretty much as a duo now. “I want to discover what happened here,” she added. “There may be more to come. They can lay up to six hundred eggs.”

The thought of that great swarm we had witnessed was horrible — surely it could have filled the room. Six hundred maggots, six hundred flies, searching for... But Bernie was talking again. “Perhaps there was some dead creature, after all.” She looked around the window seat and began to examine the panelling carefully.

Bernie was a real scientist, but my aversion was countering her desire for discovery. I would have asked her to put an end to her investigations, but Monty joined in. “Maybe there’s something we haven’t looked at — in the panelling behind the window seat, perhaps.”

I thought of the unpleasant smell that I had been unable to trace. Yes, that would provide a natural explanation for the bluebottles’ appearance.

“All right, where shall we start?” I said. “Can we take out the panelling? We’d never get permission from the college — these must be the genuine oak panels from when the house was built.”

Monty said, “I can do it, take the panelling off and replace it. I’ve done a lot of carpentry.”

“Carpentry? Eton?” I was disbelieving.

“The Dream,” he explained unhelpfully. “Sorry — A Midsummer Night’s Dream. By William Shakespeare, y’know. I joined the theatre society and we had to make all the stage sets ourselves. Trees, the magic wood, the lot.”

“Bottom’s ass’s head?” Bernie was amused.

“Yah, that too. I can borrow some tools from the college maintenance bloke. We’re on good terms.”

The ability of the English aristocracy to thrive in all social circumstances has ceased to astonish me now. At the time, I just gazed at him open-mouthed.

Bernie was more enthusiastic. “Great. Go get them. Would about eight o’clock this evening suit?’ ”

“Certainly.” I was afraid of the night, of another dream in which that vile old man came creeeping up to me. Best get it over with as soon as possible. Get what over with? My fearful thoughts went on whirling round.

It was still light: one of those long English summer evenings when the climate of that fog-bound island suddenly revealed its soft and beautiful self. Small roses were nodding over hedges and fences, and I turned into Holywell Street with reluctance.

Monty produced a green baize cloth in which were wrapped some lethal-looking tools, and began to prise out the panelling constituting the back and sides of the window seat. There seemed nothing but old dust, bits of splintered wood, and the occasional dead spider, which Bernie pounced on momentarily and then discarded. Then Monty turned his attention to the boards at the bottom, where I had already made some explorations and found the strip of paper with Latin script. There were only four or five boards, made of wide planks of oak, still damp with my cleaning efforts. As the first one came up, we could see — Bernie and I were peering over Monty’s shoulder — something grey below. Below lay the planks of the flooring.

“Take care you don’t damage that, whatever it is,” said Bernie. Surprisingly gently, Monty levered out another board, and then another.

Now we could see thick sheets of what looked like stained parchment, folded and fastened down with sealing wax to form an envelope.

Bernie reached over and drew it out with care. “It’s a bit damp,” she said.

“That’s probably from when I washed it out,” I answered.

“It doesn’t seem to be much damaged,” she said and passed it over to me. I laid it on my table and Monty produced his knife. “Don’t tear at it. Cut under the sealing wax,” he said.

Very carefully, I slid the blade under the seal and unfolded the parchment, which was badly stained.

“Good heavens!” said Bernie, and she bent close to study the strange contents that lay exposed on the yellow sheet of thin skin. “I don’t dare to touch them — they’re practically crumbling away as it is.”

“But can you tell what they are?” I asked.

“Oh, yes,” she answered. “Here, take a look at this.”

If she was fascinated, I was repelled. There seemed to be a jumble of wings and thready legs which Bernie very gently prodded with the tip of a pencil till they were rearranged into the semblance of insects. These were creatures quite unlike the fat bluebottles that had flown out at me, yet they had a similarity to something I had recently seen. That long body, terminating in an upward curve, a sort of tail.

“We saw some of these in the museum,” I said.

“This is a nasty little cache,” said Bernie softly, as she very gently scooped one of the things up on a sheet of paper to take a better look. “You’re quite right — we did see some of these. Panorpa communis. Scorpionflies.”

“But how on earth did they get in? I understand the bluebottles, they’re everywhere if you give them a chance, but I’ve never seen these before.”

“No, they’re mostly found in warmer climates. Southern hemisphere, or the hotter countries of Europe. I think someone was collecting these and had them brought to Oxford. And maybe more — perhaps he was trying to breed them. Look, there seem to be some dead grubs as well.”

“Scorpionflies?” asked Monty. “Can they sting?”

“No, they were called that because people thought that upturned abdomen looked like a scorpion’s tail. All the same, they have some very nasty feeding habits.”

Very gently, she transferred the crumbling insect bodies to a clean sheet of paper and then, taking up the piece of parchment on which they had lain, she passed it to me. This was in Latin, but I found it quite easy to translate. It did not contain any scientific terms, but seemed to be jottings, made in different shades of ink but in the same hand, so written over the course of some time. I translated it for them.

Paid skipper of the Mary Haven a guinea for the Scorpions, as they call them. He is a robber!

How feed them? Keeping them warm, yes, but what feed them on? Talk to men who have been in those parts.

Fresh! They say it must be fresh!

He understands too much — I caught him reading the other day. Thank the Lord I make all my notes of my secret proceedings in Latin. Must be sure to do so always.

The boy says he is tired of going out for it. He will go to the college and say what I do. My work will be destroyed — there is no doubt the ignorant people here will not let me proceed. I see a solution — how beautifully simple, a true scientific answer to my several problems.

I came to the end of my impromptu translation. “That’s all — best I can do... What do we make of it?”

“If this was the work of old Sir Lucas, he was a member of your college,” said Bernie. “So it’s pretty clear what we have to do. Tomorrow morning?”

I swore to myself that was the last night I would pass in Holywell House. Bernie and Monty left at about eleven o’clock, as the shadows were beginning to gather in the corners of the room. I longed to ask them to stay, but was embarassed to do so. I lay in bed and read for a long time, fancying I heard noises — per-haps a child crying — could that be right? — and eventually drifted into an uncomfortable dream, where Bernie, Monty, and I were walking along a gallery in the university museum and we all stopped in front of a glass case. Then the front of the case cracked wide open and from the darkness within she burst forward in all her many-limbed power, the tarantula Lasiodora parahybana, but vast, monstrously high on her hairy legs, so that the multiple eyes were staring as she scuttled at me.

I woke and found I had entangled myself in the sheet, and was sweating even more than could be caused by the warmth of the heavy summer night. Crossing to the old bathroom, where brass and copper piping lay in dusty convolutions and a huge Gas Geyser darkened one whole corner, I washed my face and neck with cold water. Feeling a little better, I sat down on the rush-seated bathroom chair.

But as I leaned back I saw, reflected in the spotted bathroom mirror a small red and angry face, its mouth open, and below it a pale hand reaching out to grasp me. Around it swarmed a cloud of creatures and then the hovering mass seemed to turn in my direction.

I screamed, leapt up, and dashed the chair against the mirror.

The shattering of the glass brought me to my senses. I was standing in the bathroom, quite alone.

I went back to bed, kept the light on for the rest of the night, and swept up the glass in the morning.

The bursar had returned from her holiday, looking rather more relaxed when we walked into her office, but she seemed to stiffen up as soon as we produced the parchment and the insect remains.

“Holywell House? Yes, we have some documents on the archives, of course. But if I find you other accomodation straight away, Mr., er—”

“Nicolaides,” I said.

“Exactly. If we find you somewhere immediately, need there be any further investigation of this matter? We could simply dispose of the... remains...” She stared down at the mess.

“These are extremely rare scientific specimens,” said Bernie firmly. “If, as the document we found with them would suggest, they were collected by Sir Lucas Carew, that means they are among the earliest examples known of Panorpa communis. The species was first identified by Linnaeus in his seventeen fifty-eight classification.”

The bursar gave a sigh, but she clearly had a respect for Bernie’s scientific knowledge.

“Very well.” She went to the door and called to her assistant in the next room. “Philip, would you bring me the Holywell House documents, please?”

From the bundle of papers she extracted three documents. “These will perhaps give you the background to this business.”

The first was recorded in a careful copperplate, perhaps written by a clerk, and bore the date of the fourth day of August, 1746.

Eliza Camber of Temple Cowley, widow, makes complaint: Her son, Anthony, has not come home these twelvemonths nor has she been able to get any news of him since he went as servant to Sir Lucas Carew of Grimbald’s College who resides in Holywell House in the city of Oxford. Wherefore she begs the Master of Grimbald’s to enquire for her boy, he being but twelve years of age and a good son, her only living child.

Written down the side of this, in a large and heavy hand, were the words, NIL ACTIO.

“No action! So nothing was done to help Eliza Camber find her Anthony,” said Bernie.

“I’m afraid not,” said the bursar, and her sharp features seemed to soften. “The university did not take much note of the townsfolk in those days. It was pretty much a law unto itself. Poor woman! But there is another document relevant to his disappearance.” This was a letter in a reasonably careful and neat hand, presumably from a literate correspondent, again to the Master of St. Grimbald’s College. The date had this time been inserted, again in a clerkly script so probably in the college office, at the top. “Rec.d ye last day of August, 1746.” The text was clear to read.

I, Lewin Caswell, owner of a property in Holywell Street in the City of Oxford, beg and petition the Master and Scholars of St. Grimbald’s College in that City to put stop to the activities of their scholar, Sir Lucas Carew, who resides in the upper rooms of my house in Holywell Street, where he frights the neighbours with the abominable stinks that arise from his Study and the filth and Vermin therein. And he sends his boy daily to the market to purchase meat, more than could be accounted for, and the smell thereof is Penetrating the Dwellings nearby and the Butchers in the Market have by Publick demand refused to make any more vending to Dr. Carew’s boy. Whereby, as the owner of the above premises, this Petitioner, Lewin Caswell, doth pray the said Master and Scholars to take action against the said Fellow of their College. And the said Lewin Caswell makes further demand viz. for the payment of five shillings to pay for the Dogge that used to guard the premises and now cannot be found anywheres, the same being the charge of the said Sir Lucas Carew.

“So the house did not belong to the College at that time?” asked Monty, surprised.

For answer, the bursar pushed another document across the desk. This time, it was plainly an official deed, bearing the St. Grimbald’s seal at the bottom and a number of signatures. “A deed of sale,” she said.

“The sale of Holywell House to the college,” I said as I looked through it. “So the college simply bought the house, lock, stock, and barrel. They didn’t even try to do anything to solve the neighbours’ problems or take any action against Carew.”

“I see,” said Monty, with a sigh. “The college bought the property, the landlord went quiet, and the neighbours had to put up with it. But what happened to the boy?”

“We don’t know,” said the bursar. “There is no further record of Anthony Camber. No more mention of his buying meat in the market.”

“And Carew?”

“I can tell you that,” said Bernie. “He died in seventeen forty-seven, the year after this sale. He left his collections to the university. The gift was refused.”

“How did he die?” I wanted to know what had happened to that dreadful old creature of the portrait and surely also of my dreams.

The bursar spread her well-manicured hands in a rare gesture of ignorance. “The college took over the house and the rooms were sealed up. They remained so for a long time. There have been one or two occupants before you, Mr. Nicolaides, but I truly believed that all those stories about the house — well, that they were just stories. I do apologise. We’ll find you other accommodation straightaway.”

“Wow, that’s a first! I’ve never known that woman to apologise,” said Monty as we walked away from the bursar’s office.

“But I can’t understand the essential problem,” I said.

Calliphora vomitoria? Yes, that is the question, isn’t it?” said Bernie.

“What are you two talking about?” asked Monty.

“My bluebottles. How did they breed in that window seat?” I said. “There was nothing in there for the maggots to feed on — no dead bird or anything. You said something about the scorpionflies. About their unpleasant habits.”

“Yes,” said Bernie. “He was trying to breed them, but there were difficulties. As a matter of fact, the Scorpions, Panorpa communis, are quite useful in forensic medicine. You see, they have quite different feeding habits to Calliphora vomitoria. Unlike the bluebottle maggots, scorpionflies will only feed on fresh meat. As soon as it begins to decay, they will disappear from a cadaver. So in the countries where they breed they can give an idea of how long ago a person died — if they are still on the body, death has been very recent.”

Light was dawning. “He sent the boy every day to the market for fresh meat. And then even the butchers refused to let him have any more. But he was trying to breed the scorpions so he needed fresh food for them. And there was indeed a very simple solution.”

I gazed at the window seat. “A twelve-year-old boy would have been quite small... and we have found some scorpions there.”

There was a pause as we tried, or rather perhaps tried not, to visualise the body of a child folded up into that cruel box under the windows.

“It’s surely not possible!” exclaimed Monty. “I mean, we seem to have solved an eighteenth-century murder, but there is another conundrum. It’s surely not possible that the bluebottles should still have been able to breed there after two and a half centuries! It would all have been dried up long ago.”

“There is a scientific possibility. I have a theory,” said Bernie. “When you washed the wood inside the window seat, the water soaked into the dried blood. The resulting compound may have attracted a single fly to lay eggs and then provided sufficient — well, nourishment, shall we say? — for the maggots to feed and eventually become bluebottles.”

That was the rational science-based thinking of Lady Bernadette Penderfrith Chalmers-Pallanby, as she now is, having been initially attracted to Monty’s stately home by its remarkable infestation of death-watch beetles.

I have a different notion, perhaps deriving from the Greek side of my nature. My idea is, I am sure, quite unscientific. I recall the tarantula in the museum, crouching motionless yet suddenly alert when a child tapped on the glass of its enclosure. From which I conclude that certain things are safely sealed within the past, as if in a museum case — and in those rooms in Holywell House, I had, like that child, somehow tapped on the glass and provoked some nasty piece of history into springing into life. One must be very, very careful with the past.

Wake Me When It’s Over

by Robert Garner McBrearty

Robert Garner McBrearty’s short stories have been widely published in leading literary journals, including North American Review, Missouri Review, New England Review, Narrative Magazine, Story Quarterly, and Mississippi Review. He is the author of three short-story collections, A Night at the Y, Episode — stories from which won the Sherwood Anderson Foundation Fiction Award — and Let the Birds Drink in Peace.

* * *

Samuels came out of the tent in the Serengeti and realized his wife Julie had taken off in the jeep with his best friend Lyle, who was also their guide on this trip for some reason that didn’t make sense because Lyle didn’t know any more about Africa than they did. But here he was, their guide. Though Lyle was handsome in a goofy sort of way, with his droopy walrus moustache, it was hard to see why Julie had fallen for him, but there’d been nights around the campfire when he’d caught them staring at each other, then glancing furtively at him. Now his suspicions were confirmed. No jeep and they had left him to die with many miles to cross in this lion-infested, waterless, barren land.

He did the sensible thing, of course, which was to realize he would need to bond with nature, go wild to survive, and so he took off all his clothes except his underwear, walked a few feet, winced, realized his mistake, put back on his boots, and set off at a good pace. Now just up ahead a lion rose from the grass, and now another, and he walked on, and now there were more lions. He started to run but within moments they pounced on him and tore him to shreds, with hyenas already moving in and dragging off body parts, though it seemed he was watching from a distance now, that it was someone else’s body that was being ripped to shreds. Heart pounding, Samuels woke now in his comfy bed in the city with Julie beside him and he was sweating and breathing quickly, and it took him a few moments to settle down. He was a little angry at Julie, even though he was relieved to know this was all a dream and what would she see in Lyle anyway? It was ridiculous to imagine anything between them, even if Lyle did come over quite a bit, maybe a little more than one might usually expect. But after all, they had been best friends for many years, long before Julie had come into his life.

“What is it?” Julie asked, rolling over. “What’s wrong?” It always bothered her when he woke in the night. She said it kept her from falling back to sleep herself.

“I had a dream,” he said. He told her about the dream. He chuckled and said, “You and Lyle, silly, isn’t it?”

Julie was silent. Then he heard her quiet breathing. “It’s not so silly.”

“What?”

“We didn’t know how to tell you. I’m leaving you for Lyle,” she said in that brusque way she sometimes had.

Samuels bolted up in bed. Julie was still sleeping, snoring slightly but firmly in that lovely sort of way she had of snoring. My God, he realized, it’s one of those double dreams. It’s one of those dreams where you thought you’d woken up but you were actually still dreaming. He was afraid to go back to sleep right away, so he rose, put on his bathrobe, and went into their living room. They lived in a condo on the ninth floor, the highest floor in the building. He slid open the glass door and stepped out onto the small terrace, closing the door behind him. He looked out on the lights of the city, spreading out, so pretty, and he could see the river in the distance, the way the lights glimmered off the water. He loved the wind up high where they lived, blowing his hair, making his eyes moisten, bringing him back to his senses.

He heard a noise and turned to see Julie sliding open the door, slender and lovely in her nightgown. Julie, the light and love of his life. It seemed a miracle that they had found each other, both of them so searching and lost when they first met, until they found happiness together. Well, happiness most of the time, anyway, more than he’d ever known before. Maybe he was inclined to moods, but she’d brought out the best in him. She stood beside him at the railing, which came to their waists.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

He told her about the double dream. She held her nightgown to her throat and her head ducked down and away, and she looked up at the lights of the city, but not at him. “It’s not such a strange dream... Look, it hasn’t been right between us for a long time now, you know that.”

A burning sensation rose in his throat. “What are you talking about? I thought things were great.”

“That’s the problem, isn’t it? You never understand anything.”

“What are you saying?”

“It just happened, okay. I didn’t mean it to happen. Lyle’s fun to be with. It’s always depressing with you. You’re gloomy all the time. Is it so wrong to want a little happiness in my life?”

He stared at her and then he laughed.

“What?” she said. “Why are you laughing like that? You sound weird.”

“A triple dream,” he said, still laughing. “It’s a triple dream. That beats all.”

She was moving away toward the sliding glass door when he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to the railing. “Come here.”

“I don’t want to. Let me go.”

He tilted back against the railing, holding her to his chest as she struggled. The lights of the city spun around his head. “It’s just a dream,” he said, laughing. She fought him, broke free of him as they went over.

She screamed and clawed at the air and kicked her feet. He went down smoothly, his hands up, the lights of the city dazzling and beautiful. He knew you always woke up before you hit the ground.

The Case of the Curious Collector

by John Morgan Wilson

John Morgan Wilson is the author of eight mystery novels in the Edgar-winning Benjamin Justice series, and the coauthor, with bandleader Peter Duchin, of two mysteries starring fictional bandleader Philip Damon. This new story is an homage to Sherlock Holmes fans, particularly appropriate for this issue, which will be distributed at the Baker Street Irregulars banquet in New York, a gathering to celebrate the birthday of Sherlock Holmes (which the BSI consider to be Twelfth Night).

* * *

“They’ll pop champagne on my grave,” Roger Covington said, as if he might be grumbling about the golfing buddies he routinely accused of cheating. But it wasn’t golf that had him stirred up this time. “All three of them. Nothing would make them happier than to see me in the ground.”

K. L. Inger, of Inger, Inger & Inger, winced behind his rimless spectacles. “That’s awfully harsh, isn’t it, Roger? To say that about one’s children?”

“You know me, Inger. I speak my mind.”

Friday-afternoon sunlight slanted into the law firm’s conference room, casting its Victorian furnishings in a nostalgic glow. Already, rush-hour horns were beeping down in the street. Inger stole a glance at his Waltham pocket watch, hoping to complete the revisions to Covington’s will and trust without too much of the big man’s bombast. At seventy-seven, the investment titan bristled at any challenge to his authority.

“Family dynamics can be complicated,” the attorney said carefully.

“Complicated, hell.” Covington’s green eyes flashed in his florid face. “They’ve wanted me out of the way ever since their mother passed, God rest her soul.”

The two men huddled in Eastlake chairs at one end of a rosewood table in the Renaissance Revival style, a notary between them. Inger and his wife, the second Inger of Inger, Inger & Inger, had acquired their antiques on trips abroad, as they visited the literary settings of his favorite author, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. To Inger, each piece was infused with the spirit of his childhood hero, Sherlock Holmes, a whim Mrs. Inger affectionately indulged. How he wished she was with him now, to handle a sensitive situation like this. Bad enough that Covington had appointed him executor of his estate, Inger thought; now his prickly client was convinced his three grown children were aligned against him, and Abigail had the day off.

“Everything appears to be in order,” the tycoon growled. “Let’s get on with it.” He began jotting his name and initials as the notary guided him through the pages. “The ingrates are in town, staying at the house. That’s why I needed to rush this through. If things go their way, I’ll be dead by Monday.”

Dead by Monday?

Inger arched his snowy brows; surely, he’d misheard. Conspiracy claims were nothing new for Covington, who’d funded investigations into Super Bowls he insisted were fixed, and moon landings he believed to be faked. He’d also denounced his progeny for what he termed “unforgivable acts of betrayal.” But what he was suggesting now seemed far more sinister than how they voted or grilled a steak. The lawyer, who stood a slim five eight in his wing tips, checked to see how his gray-haired notary was holding up. Ordinarily cheerful, she hunched in petrified silence; patricide was not a subject that ordinarily popped up at Inger, Inger & Inger.

He chuckled uncomfortably. “For a moment there, I thought you might be talking about murder.”

“What else would I be talking about?” Covington turned back to the documents, pen poised in his sausage-sized fingers. “I’ve taken precautions, but they’re a crafty bunch. Sneaking glances, whispering in code, sniffing into my affairs.”

The two men had met by chance at an antiques fair early in the new millennium. Covington was there to find a special gift for his wife, apparently to smooth over an indiscretion. Inger had been helpful, which had led the mogul to engage him for estate planning — lucrative for the firm, though not without its tribulations.

“By the way,” Inger asked delicately, “are you still seeing Dr. Ziegler?”

“I don’t need a damned psychiatrist,” Covington snapped. “I’ll bet my Bentley he’s in on it with them. Pills to calm me down, pills to deal with depression, pills to help me sleep. Doping me up so I’m not thinking straight. But I outfoxed them. Stopped filling the prescriptions months ago, all but the one for shuteye. At my age a man needs a good night’s rest.”

“Are you sure that’s wise, ignoring Dr. Ziegler’s advice?”

“Best move I ever made, except for a few hostile takeovers. Got to have a clear head in a situation like this. Survival one-oh-one.”

A strained smile stretched Inger’s neat moustache. “Maybe you could postpone their visit until everyone calms down.”

“Not possible. We always gather on the anniversary of their mother’s passing. I insist on it.” Covington shook his head solemnly. “She’d weep, seeing how they turned out.”

Seven years ago, at the memorial service for Judith Covington, Inger had met her grieving children. Daphne, the oldest, was a respected naturopathic doctor. Graham was pioneering important research in soft robotics. Forrest, the youngest, was devoted to historic preservation.

“I thought they were doing rather well.”

“Ridiculous occupations.” Covington snorted. “Didn’t have the backbone for business. They might as well have spit in my face.”

“You did your best, Roger.” Inger sighed haplessly. “That’s all one can do.”

“Done!” Covington tossed the pen down and rubbed his palms together gleefully. “When my time comes, they’ll get their due.”

The notary stamped the last page, gathered up the papers, and hurried from the room. The two men stood and shook hands.

“Let’s hope that’s not too soon,” Inger said.

“Not if I can help it.” Covington winked. “If they’re going to rub out the old man, they’re going to have to work for it.”

As he rattled on, Inger felt the full burden of his sixty-eight years. He longed to be sitting with Abigail on their veranda, sipping a gin sling and hearing about her day. They’d been mulling retirement now that their daughter, the third Inger of Inger, Inger & Inger, was more than capable of running the firm. After the cocktails would come a tasty supper they’d cook together, seasoned with laughter. Then Inger would slip away with a memorable tale by Conan Doyle, to become lost in a menacing world Sherlock Holmes would make safer by the end.

“Why not put them up at a hotel?” he suggested. “That should allay your fears.”

“True,” Covington admitted. “But what would be the fun of that?”

He let out a cackle so frightful Inger’s heart nearly fibrillated. Steering him from the room, Inger mulled the sacred tenet of attorney-client confidentiality. Dr. Ziegler would want to know about his patient’s latest tirade, but state law permitted disclosure only to prevent an act by the client that the attorney believed could cause serious harm to himself or others. Covington might be distrustful, Inger conceded, with a touch of megalomania. But that didn’t make him dangerous, deluded, or incompetent to manage his affairs. If it had, Inger, Inger & Inger would be without some of its most prominent clients.

“When I’m awake, I make sure someone’s always around,” Covington said, as Inger hustled him toward a bank of elevators. “Valet, housekeeper, butler. With me for years, loyal as dogs. They usually get Sundays off, but not this weekend.”

Inger pressed the down button. “Certainly prudent, given your concerns.”

Covington leaned in, lowering his voice. “I expect the little schemers to make their move after midnight, when I’m asleep and most vulnerable.”

“Perhaps those sleeping pills aren’t the best idea, then.”

“That’s the beauty of it, Inger. I’ve fortified my bedroom, inside and out.”

Inger punched the down button again. Several times, actually.

“Surveillance cameras along the hallway,” Covington went on. “Security locks on the door and windows. Pepper spray on the nightstand.” He shrugged sheepishly. “No guard dog — Whiskers would never tolerate that.”

In one of their warmer moments, the two men had shared wallet photos of their cats. Whiskers was an old gray tom Covington had doted on since losing his wife.

Inger laid a sympathetic hand on the big man’s shoulder. “You seem to have thought of everything, Roger.”

The bell pinged, the elevator doors slid open, and Covington stepped in.

“Take care of yourself, will you?” the attorney added, studying his pained reflection as the brass-plated doors drew closed.

Deep into a balmy Sunday afternoon, Inger lounged in a shaded hammock with a leather-bound reproduction of The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. Molly, the family’s ginger tabby, curled comfortably on his stomach. As engrossed as he was in “The Adventure of the Speckled Band,” a busy weekend with their grandchildren had taken its toll. His pale blue eyes fluttered behind his bifocals as his ringtone sounded.

“Hello?”

“Mr. Inger?” A female voice, businesslike but not unpleasant.

Inger patted down a yawn. “Yes, this is the old barrister.”

“Mr. Inger, this is Detective Aswell, Sheriff’s Department.”

He sat up as Molly sprang from his lap. His thoughts went immediately to the toddlers. “What is it, Detective? What’s wrong?”

“It involves Roger Covington. According to his daughter, Daphne, you handle her father’s estate planning.”

Inger slackened with relief. “For many years, yes.”

“I’m sorry to inform you that Mr. Covington is deceased.”

“Oh, dear.”

“He was found in bed a few hours ago, unresponsive. Apparently he makes a habit of sleeping in on Sundays. Becomes irate if he’s disturbed.”

“Yes, that sounds like Roger.”

“When the hour got late, his valet pounded on the bedroom door but got no answer. Needed an ax to break it down. I have a few questions if you’re up to it.”

“Of course.” Inger felt a twinge of anxiety. “Forgive me, Detective, but you didn’t mention a cause of death.”

“We’re looking into that, sir. According to his appointment book, you met with him Friday afternoon.”

“Half past four. We finished up about an hour later.”

“For what purpose?”

The issue of confidentiality again, Inger thought, though less thorny now. With Covington gone, the powers of disclosure had passed to his trustee and beneficiaries. As the appointed fiduciary, Inger was free to discuss Covington’s last wishes publicly, and the circumstances seemed to demand it.

“Roger recently requested changes to his will and trust. We were finalizing the paperwork. Signatures and so forth.”

“Auspicious timing, given what’s happened.”

“That’s one way of putting it,” Inger said, and began to feel queasy.

“Did Covington say or do anything on Friday that seemed out of the ordinary?”

“He—”

“Yes, Mr. Inger?”

“He was in a hurry to complete the documents, with our business handled quietly.”

“Why was that, do you know?”

Inger swallowed with difficulty. “He seemed convinced that his children were scheming against him.”

“Scheming? In what way?”

“He... he believed they were plotting to kill him.”

“He said this?”

“Explicitly.”

“Did you take him seriously?”

“I’m afraid I didn’t.” Inger clamped his eyes shut; perspiration pebbled on his forehead. “Roger was prone to suspicion.”

“Did he discuss this alleged threat in any detail?”

“Only that he expected them to attempt something this weekend, and that he’d taken precautions.”

“Yes, we noticed some of that. Until I get back to you, please don’t discuss this with anyone.”

“Mrs. Inger is a senior partner in the firm. She’d want to know.”

“I understand,” Aswell said. “But no one else, please.”

The call ended. Inger was left with the sound of bees buzzing around marigolds in a shaft of sunlight, and birds calling out from leafy perches. The pungent aroma of rosemary reached him on a playful breeze. Abigail had designed a classic cottage garden after ones they’d admired in England; he’d built the rose-bowered gateway himself. All that remained was to find purple spires for the background — violet was her favorite color, but with grandchildren about they had to be careful what they planted. Still, they’d created this peaceful spot together, which made it special. Now the joy it had brought them seemed to wane, the way the light was seeping from the day.

Inger sat very still. Covington had been a large, blustery man, getting on in years; it was possible he’d died of natural causes. But what if not?

“Oh, my,” Inger said aloud.

Conflict had always upset him, except in the hands of a clever writer like Conan Doyle, whom readers could count on to restore order in the end. Sir Arthur’s stories had soothed him as a child in a family beset with tension and turmoil. He picked up the volume he’d cast aside, unaware how tightly he clutched it to his chest.

“Oh my,” he said again, and then went looking for his wife.

While still a young man, Roger Covington had inherited an expansive hilltop home built in the late nineteenth century with family steel money. Inger had been here once before, shortly after Judith Covington’s death from cancer, to advise her widower on related legal matters. Now he was back, to distribute Covington’s estate papers and inventory his more valuable possessions. By Monday evening he’d spoken briefly with each of the beneficiaries, asking if they might meet as a group this afternoon. Not the orthodox approach, but he felt that taking their questions all at once might be less stressful, if only for him. Abigail had offered to come along, but he was determined to see this through on his own.

As he approached the property in his restored MG, a uniformed deputy opened the big gates. Inger passed through, coaxing his little roadster up the hill. Covington House soon emerged, three stories rising behind a neoclassical facade. Circling past, he was disheartened to see white paint peeling from pillars and iron grating going to rust.

Clouds were gathering as he parked further on. Nearby, in a tangle of landscape, a gloved groundskeeper ripped out towering plants abloom in regal blue, reminding Inger of challenges he faced in his own garden. But his attention quickly shifted to a broad lawn, where a lean, silver-haired man performed tai chi movements with mesmerizing balance and precision. Emery Chang, Covington’s longtime valet — Inger recalled the sleek look and exotic tattoos from his previous visit. The body art was a vestige of Chang’s troubled past: a bar fight as a young man, when he’d beaten the offender senseless; a prison stretch that left him unemployable; finally, a second chance with Covington. “I like the idea of having extra protection around,” Covington declared, but Inger had been wary.

He stepped from the car, buttoned the jacket of his gray flannel three-piece, and reached back for his briefcase. When he looked again Chang had vanished, as if he’d never been there.

From the colonnade a second deputy escorted Inger into the mansion’s cavernous entry hall, where he was met by a pudgy, wispy-haired man in an archaic butler’s uniform. The attorney recognized the Cockney croak as that of Herbert Plum, at eighty-four the oldest member of the household staff. Unable to recall their phone conversation the previous day, Plum trundled off mumbling to himself.

“Mr. Inger, right on time!”

The hearty voice came from atop a Colonial-style staircase, where a sturdy-looking black woman stood at the railing, her detective’s shield gleaming against a navy pants suit creased with perfect pleats.

“Aswell here,” she called out. “They notified me from the gate that you’d arrived.”

As she started down, Inger studied the foyer’s domed ceiling. From the cupola hung a four-tiered crystal chandelier in fountain form, dazzling with sprays of spangles and spear-shaped drops. He located the lavish fixture in a catalog Covington had provided a few years back, comparing it to its description and photo before checking it off.

As that was happening, Lois Aswell was trotting down the last few steps, greeting him with a vigorous handshake and lively brown eyes. She was younger than he’d expected; when she explained that her senior partner had moved on to a fresh case, leaving her to wrap up, he got the impression she wasn’t pleased about it.

“You brought the documents?”

From his briefcase he handed over copies of Covington’s final will and trust. She suggested he continue his inventory in the master bedroom, now that the forensics team was finished with it. Inger grimaced, though he knew he’d have to account for the room’s contents at some point.

As they climbed, she filled him in on the investigation. An autopsy indicated respiratory difficulty and cardiac arrest; toxicology tests were yet to come. “According to Emery Chang, the valet, Covington was taking a potent sleep aid each night after downing several whiskeys. The prescription was for a classification of sedative known as hypnotics. It’s a dangerous combination.”

“Goodness,” Inger said.

“Last week, Chang informed Daphne, the daughter. She warned her father of the risk, but he gave her the brush-off. By the time she alerted Dr. Ziegler, it was too late.”

“You’re thinking heart attack, then,” Inger said, sounding encouraged.

“Personally, I’m sticking with suspicious death for now.” The detective smiled tightly. “My partner feels otherwise.”

As they passed the second landing, Inger reached for the handrail and found the balusters wobbly. “This was once such an opulent home. Too showy for my taste, but still distressing to see how Roger let it go.”

“From what I understand, his wife saw to the house and staff. After her death, Covington seemed lost, and never found his way back.”

“He did seem to miss her,” Inger fretted. “Especially as the years wore on.”

Reaching the top, they turned toward the north wing, following woven hall runners bordered by oak parquetry. Lighting their way were brass hall hoops with hobnail shades of frosted glass; between the sconces hung classic Alfred Sisley landscapes. To Inger, each step took them further back in time, to the days when the Great Detective and his good friend, Dr. John Watson, ventured along foggy streets and creaking floorboards, searching for secrets at their peril.

Then reality intruded — the gaping doorway outside Covington’s bedroom, secured with yellow crime-scene tape. Inger blanched, dabbing his brow with a monogrammed handkerchief.

“We don’t have to do this if it’s too soon,” Aswell said.

“No, no. I have my responsibilities. I need to get my bearings, that’s all.”

“If you’re sure.” He nodded and she began stripping away the tape. “After Chang broke down the door, everyone in the house crowded in. So we’re not expecting much from the fingerprints and DNA samples. Prior to that, employees and family came and went up here, though no one after Chang helped Covington up to bed Saturday night.” The detective grinned. “Unless you count his cat, and a cockroach or two.”

“You’re certain — absolutely no one?”

She indicated the security cameras overhead. “My partner checked the video. Shortly after midnight, Covington opened his door to let the cat in. Otherwise, it was quiet, until Harriet Plum, the housekeeper, arrived at dawn to do some sweeping.”

“The cameras, of course. I should have thought of that.”

“His children are staying on this floor in their old bedrooms. Chang’s quarters are on the first level. The Plums live in a cottage on the grounds.”

“So it’s just Chang and the Plums? No personal chef?”

“Left last month, third to quit this year. Chang and Mrs. Plum share the cooking now.” She tilted her head toward the bedroom. “Ready?”

The attorney nodded, braced himself, and followed her inside.

The moment he stepped in, Inger’s apprehension gave way to enchantment; even the musty air was intoxicating. Covering much of the floor was an East Indian carpet of intricate design, worn thin from generations of use. Set between Tudor-inspired cabinets were Pre-Raphaelite paintings, a sumptuous mix of fallen women and Madonna types; Inger’s data mentioned that Covington had purchased them against his wife’s wishes. A marble Georgian fireplace anchored the near end of the room.

On the mantel was a framed photograph of a fair-haired young woman, her bluebottle eyes wide and expressive.

“Judith Covington,” Aswell said, noting Inger’s interest. “Taken when they were courting.”

“What a lovely smile.”

The detective’s keen eyes roamed the room. “It’s possible he was poisoned beforehand, or smothered as he slept. But if someone got in here, I’m hard-pressed to know how.”

Inger scrutinized the fireplace. “This probably sounds silly—”

“What’s that, Mr. Inger?”

“Might some creature have found a way in through the chimney? A venomous snake, for example? When you phoned Sunday, I happened to be reading about a case involving Sherlock Holmes and a speckled band—”

“Ah, the famous detective.”

“It involved a spotted viper set loose from a vent, coiled on a bell cord and poised to strike a young woman when she came to bed. Naturally, Holmes saved the day.”

“No suspicious marks were found on our victim, Mr. Inger. We examined the flue, which was closed off long ago for safety reasons. No sign of any disturbance. And no vents up here, I’m afraid.”

The attorney frowned. “That was awfully far-fetched, wasn’t it?”

“Not at all. I’ve been involved in stranger cases, believe me.”

Indeed, Inger thought; it was something Holmes might have said to Watson. Emboldened, he crossed to a windowed alcove framed by portiere curtains; within it was a kidney-shaped walnut writing desk on arched feet, bearing flourishes of the Regency period. Then on to the artwork, the cabinetry, a sparkling collection of original Waterford crystal. All highly collectible, but nothing suggesting a clue.

Disappointed, he turned to the one object he’d been avoiding: the canopied mahogany bed in which Roger Covington had drawn his last breath. Designed in the flamboyant rococo style, it was adorned with ornate floral carvings, the gold tassels of its comforter draped to the floor. Inger took solace from the linens, which were barely mussed, though not enough to dispel the gloom cast over it like a shadow.

“He died quietly,” Aswell assured him, as if reading his mind. “No sign of struggle. We disturbed things as little as possible, out of respect for the family.”

Inger nodded gratefully. He was making his notations when he heard something above, a scuttling of small feet or claws.

“Rats,” the detective explained, following the attorney’s upward gaze. “Nesting in the crawlspace. We chased them out when we looked up there, but I guess they’re back.”

Inger shuddered as the scratching became more insistent.

“Shall we move on?” she asked.

“Please,” Inger said, and this time he led the way.

While Lois Aswell left to arrange a general meeting downstairs, Inger continued his third-floor walk-through. To hasten his task, Harriet Plum, the housekeeper, had used her set of double-notched brass keys to free the old mortise locks ahead of him.

It wasn’t long before a disconcerting pattern emerged: In nearly every room, precious objects were missing. Each was small enough to be smuggled off unobserved, or if a number of people worked in collusion.

In Covington’s study, as expected, Inger found a magnificent Wooten foldout desk in black walnut, accented with gold leaf, handcrafted in the late eighteen hundreds. But a Tiffany table lamp from the same period was nowhere to be found. Also gone was an oil by American Impressionist Mary Cassatt, a portrait of a mother cradling her child; according to its documentation, Judith Covington had personally positioned it to face her husband as he worked. In its place was a common art-store print.

Inger moved to the front windows to mull his unsettling discoveries. Treasures had been removed from Covington House, that much was certain. Pilfering, or storage? And what, if anything, did it have to do with Roger Covington’s death?

Outside, raindrops began to patter against the panes. He watched a black town car wind up the drive and stop between the house and a circular fountain. A liveried driver climbed out, opening an umbrella and then a rear door. A stately woman emerged, trim in a smart skirt suit atop elevated heels, carrying herself with confidence and purpose. Two men followed less briskly, the taller man lanky and bearded, the other clean-cut and boyish, both in stylish dark suits. The Covington siblings — Daphne, Graham, and Forrest, in order of birth — familiar to Inger from years ago.

Wind gusted, pelting him with drops through an open window. Before he could pull it shut, a slender hand reached past to do it for him, giving him a fright. He spun to find himself facing Emery Chang, cloaked in his colorful tattoos.

“Good God, how did you get in so quietly?”

“I’ve been here all along, Mr. Inger, away from the light, while you examined Mr. Covington’s belongings.”

“The ones that remain, you mean?” The valet never flinched, his obsidian eyes implacable. Inger surveyed the room. “You have business here?”

“I straighten up every afternoon, when Mr. Covington has left to play golf.”

“But Mr. Covington is no longer with us.”

“One’s routine doesn’t die so easily, or one’s allegiance.”

“Admirable discipline — much like those impressive combative skills I witnessed this morning.”

“Tai chi directs one toward inner peace, Mr. Inger, not toward combat. Change can come, if it comes from within.”

“A noble sentiment, Mr. Chang. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m needed downstairs.”

As he turned to go, Chang seized his wrist. Inger had never felt a grip with such tensile strength. A draft reached his ankles from beneath the closed door, reminding him that he was alone with a violent felon.

“Some things are better kept private, Mr. Inger.”

“And sometimes discretion is not possible,” the attorney said, freeing himself but feeling no less shaken as he made his exit.

Retracing his steps through the north wing, Inger spotted a hunched, wizened woman in a housedress and orthopedic shoes coming his way. Scurrying in and out of rooms, she ignored the master bedroom and entered the room across the hall.

From the open doorway, he watched her shut windows before bustling back out.

“Mrs. Plum?”

She pulled up, squinting at him with rheumy eyes. “That would be me, yes.”

He explained that he was the attorney who’d spoken with her the day before.

“I know who you are, sir. What is it, then?”

“Just a question or two, if I may.”

“Very well, but let’s be quick. This storm’s just getting started.”

Inger asked how long she’d worked for Roger Covington — “Half my life and then some,” she replied — and what kind of employer he’d been.

“Let’s just say things was better when Mrs. Covington was with us. She made sure to keep a full staff and pay a fair wage.” The old woman smirked. “Kind enough too, to find work elsewhere for the maids, the pretty ones her husband had his eye on.”

Inger cringed. “And the children?”

“Never lifted a finger. Still don’t.”

“Yet you and Mr. Plum stayed on all these years.”

“And what choice would you think we have at our age?”

“Point taken, Mrs. Plum. Now, about Saturday night. Do you recall anything unusual in the hours before and after midnight?”

Her weak eyes dodged away. “I already answered that for the lady detective.”

Inger pressed gently. “Nothing you might have overlooked?”

“Well — there was one small matter.” Her eyes came back, along with her spunk. “I’m diligent in my housekeeping and wasn’t keen to bring it up.”

“Understandable.”

“With the visitors in, we was given Sunday chores. I got to my cleaning early, right in this hallway. Mr. Covington’s cat — Whiskers he calls him — likes to spend time up here. There’s all that fur, you see. Using a broom instead of a vacuum, so as not to disturb His Lordship, I was working over here when I saw a cockroach coming at me across the runner. I admit to a terrible disgust of those things, most especially the big ones. I let out a scream, before stomping it good and proper.”

“And Mr. Covington didn’t wake?”

“Not a peep. It was his older son, Graham, who peered out from his bedroom. This door right here, just a crack. I apologized for making such a fuss. He didn’t say a word. Just stared down at that dead bug, as revolted by it as I was.”

Thunder sounded distantly; lightning cracked like a whip.

“Not to be rude, sir, but I really must see to the other rooms.”

Inger thanked her and she hurried off. He turned in the other direction, intending to get downstairs. But as he passed the master bedroom the Regency desk caught his eye. He’d already accounted for it, so that wasn’t an issue. It was its provenance as Judith Covington’s personal desk that captivated him now, a remembrance so dear to her husband that he’d taken to using it himself. This was Inger’s chance to have a closer look.

Slipping in, he pricked up his ears for the scrambling of rats in the crawlspace. All he heard was the rain, drumming like nervous fingers against the alcove windows.

The desk was a pristine example of pre-Victorian craftsmanship: inlaid satinwood, fluted pillars, pigeonholes fitted to perfection.

Inger was smitten but stayed on task, drawing open a deep drawer on the right. Inside was a box of engraved stationary atop a pile of fading mementos: gilded social invitations, playbills and opera programs, snapshots of the three Covington children as they grew up. He was about to close up when he noticed a partition farther in — a false back, hardly surprising in a vintage desk like this. What piqued his curiosity were the three files stashed there, each labeled in Roger Covington’s distinct handwriting: Daphne, Graham, Forrest. He opened the Daphne folder to find articles heralding her considerable achievements in higher education and alternative medicine. Next, a similar compilation on Graham, who’d earned a Ph.D. in biomechanics and a professorship at the same university where Inger had taken his law degree. Then the last portfolio, detailing Forrest’s preservation efforts, including his recent attempts to place Covington House on the National Register, the latter sections underlined in red.

Out in the hall a clock chimed the late hour. Inger was returning the files to their niche when he glimpsed one more item tucked away: a packet of handwritten messages on flowery note cards, dated and inscribed by Judith Covington in the early years of her marriage. Against his better scruples, he began browsing. A common theme emerged, as she expressed her devotion to her husband while pleading for more of his time and affection. If not for me, one note ended, then at least for our children.

“Interesting reading, Mr. Inger?”

It was Forrest, standing by the canopied bed, his soft features unable to mask the quiet fury in his glare.

“I’m afraid I was snooping.” Inger replaced the packet of notes, shut the drawer, and faced the younger man squarely. “Given your calling, it must be painful for you to watch Covington House fall into decline.”

“It always hurts to see a fine old building go to ruin.”

“You’ve been taking legal steps to protect it.”

“What of it?”

“Your father couldn’t have been happy about that.”

“If my father had his way, this entire property would have been sold off for subdivisions by now.”

“If he had his way — or if he’d lived?”

The two men locked eyes.

“He was incapable of caring for this house. He’d grown distracted, irrational. The servants have been thieving for years, right under his nose.”

“You’ve noticed certain items are missing?”

“How could I not? Some were favorites of my mother.” Forrest glanced around bitterly. “I suppose I should be grateful nothing has disappeared from this room.”

“Nothing has disappeared,” Inger repeated vaguely, as if his mind had floated off.

Forrest regarded him curiously. “Yes, that’s what I said.”

Inger blinked several times before gathering himself.

“Please tell the others I’ll be down shortly,” he said, and watched the youngest Covington depart.

Moving quickly, he retrieved a file from the desk. Next, he placed three calls on his smartphone: to his wife, to the university where he’d studied law, and to Roger Covington’s accountant. No more than twenty minutes, but time was pressing.

As he descended the front stairs, thunder rumbled and lightning streaked beyond the oriel windows. Midway down, he stopped to take a call from Abigail, who confirmed one of his hunches. He thanked her profusely and said he hoped to be home in time for dinner, perhaps even an aperitif.

“A strong one,” he added. “It’s been quite a day, and it’s not over yet.”

“We’ll listen to some Gilbert and Sullivan,” she said. “That should restore your spirits.”

Detective Aswell was waiting on the bottom step. Inger apologized for the delay, sharing what he’d gleaned upstairs. She praised him for being so astute and cursed her oversight, wishing she’d studied the security video herself. Then she proposed an unconventional strategy in the dining room, where the others were assembled, and wondered if he was game. He assured her that he was.

The dining room was located off the serving room and the butler’s pantry, separated from the kitchen only by a plate closet. Yet as Inger entered, it struck him as a world away. Designed in the Cornwall Manor style, it was resplendent with heirlooms worthy of a fine museum. But it was the paintings that held his deepest interest: gilt-framed portraits of Covington men and women extending back to pre-Civil War slave days, their bearings stiff with privilege.

He noted a similar demeanor in the Covington children. They occupied high-backed chairs along one side of a massive pedestal table gleaming with an English Tea finish: the erect and well-tailored Daphne, looking peevish; long-limbed Graham, tugging at his beard; and baby-faced Forrest, pouty and withdrawn. Directly across sat Harriet Plum, who’d changed into a fresh house-dress; Mr. Plum, half asleep and tilting; and Emery Chang, placid but unreadable. The deputies Inger had seen earlier were stationed near the exits. Asleep on a cushioned window seat was Whiskers, his feline slumber undisturbed by all the commotion, inside and out.

Aswell stepped aside, allowing Inger front position at the head of the table.

“First,” the attorney said, “let me thank you for your patience.”

“Spare us the niceties,” Daphne shot back. “You’ve kept us waiting long enough.”

“By all means.” From his briefcase Inger withdrew copies of Roger Covington’s will and trust, stacking them neatly on the table. “Though I do want to mention a few matters pertinent to how your father died.”

“That would be Detective Aswell’s role,” Graham said. “You’re here as our father’s lawyer, not as an investigator.”

“I understand, but—”

“It’s not a request,” Daphne said. “This house belongs to us now. You’re here at our pleasure.”

“Actually, that’s not accurate.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Upon your father’s death, this house ceased to belong to anyone in the Covington family.”

The reactions around the table ranged from shocked eyes and mouths agape to more humble heads cocked with curiosity. Even Herbert Plum roused himself.

“Utter nonsense.” Daphne again, clipped and self-assured. “I’ve seen the papers that were drawn up after Mother died. The three of us are to get everything, excepting modest provisions for the help.”

“He’d threatened to cut us out,” Forrest added, “trying to bend us to his will. But he never followed through.”

“He did this time. Friday afternoon, in my office.” Inger handed the documents to Aswell, who passed them around. “Your father created a foundation in your mother’s name, to which he bequeathed Covington House and the surrounding property. It’s to become Judith Covington Park, with the house converted to a daycare center serving families in need. Everything else is to be auctioned off to fund the foundation.”

“That’s not possible,” Graham said, his voice shaky.

Inger picked up his own copy, turning to a marked page. “He instructed me to add this wording: Should any of my children wish, they may serve the foundation as volunteers, cleaning the house and tending to the grounds.

Mrs. Plum howled. “Oh, that’s a good one, that is.”

“The bastard.” Daphne rose to her feet. “We’ll contest, you can be sure of that.”

Graham stood beside her, his eyes panicky. “What about his investments, all the money?”

“Not much left, I’m afraid. Your father lost a fortune in recent years. What is intact is in the split trust your mother created before her death, ensuring the three employees sitting here a comfortable retirement.”

“They’ve no right to anything.” Daphne’s glance slathered them with contempt. “They’re the ones who robbed him blind, plundering this house.”

“Watch your mouth, dearie,” Mrs. Plum said. “You don’t hold sway here as you once did.”

“It’s true that a number of valuables are missing,” Inger said. “But nothing was stolen.”

“That makes no sense,” Forrest said.

“While I was upstairs, my wife contacted a well-connected expert in the art and antiques trade. Your father has been selling off his possessions privately, piece by piece, to appease his debtors and keep up the pretense that he was still successful.”

“As if I wouldn’t notice,” Mrs. Plum said, “all the dusting I do.”

“Even then, he counted on you to keep quiet, beholden as you were to him. Isn’t that right, Mr. Chang?”

Chang held his chin high. “His pride wouldn’t allow him to sell things off more openly. People hold fiercely to their dignity as they grow older, whatever their circumstances. The three of us can attest to that.”

“Amen,” Mr. Plum murmured, clasping his wife’s hand.

“I realize he was intolerable at times,” Chang added. “But I witnessed his struggle for redemption at the end, and stood by him. We both believed in second chances.”

Daphne leveled her eyes on Inger. “You know full well he was unstable. Making wild assertions, turning his bedroom into a fortress. He wasn’t in his right mind when he remade that will.”

“Absolutely,” Graham said. “Grounds to overturn, no doubt about it.”

“Your father was a contentious man,” Inger conceded, “and some of his ideas seemed outlandish. But incompetent to create a valid will? I’m not so sure.”

“More to the point,” Aswell said, stepping to Inger’s side, “your father’s death testifies to his foresight, not his delusion.”

“Hogwash,” Daphne said. “The coroner concluded that he died of asphyxia and cardiac arrest. There’s not a shred of evidence that homicide was involved.”

“That was before Mr. Inger arrived.” The detective swiveled to acknowledge the attorney. “Mr. Inger?”

As Daphne and Graham edged back into their seats, Inger pulled himself up to his full height, wing tips included.

“I’m convinced Roger Covington was murdered,” he said crisply, “that a most unusual weapon was used, and that the killers sit among us.”

Inger expected at least a dramatic gasp or two — the old Basil Rathbone movies had left their mark on him in childhood — but a fraught silence pervaded.

Striving for brevity, he laid out his theory: When Forrest learned that his father was shopping Covington House to developers he alerted his older siblings, who feared its loss for their own reasons. A short time later, Emery Chang informed Daphne that his employer was mixing alcohol with a potent prescription for insomnia. She promised to intervene, knowing her father would rebuff her, and hatched a plan to hasten his death. As a trained herbalist, she was aware of a poison capable of impeding respiration and triggering heart failure, one not easily detected postmortem. Even so, Inger noted, suspicion would likely fall on Chang and Mrs. Plum, who prepared the meals.

“You’re an expert in toxins now?” Daphne asked archly.

“Only a cautious gardener,” Inger replied, “familiar with monkshood.”

He sensed a tightening along her jaw, but otherwise she retained her remarkable composure.

“Monkshood is a beautiful flower,” he continued, addressing the group, “but its sap is potentially deadly if enough is ingested or absorbed. It’s also fairly common. As I arrived today, I saw whole stalks of it being removed outside. Carefully, with gloves.”

“Our mother warned us to stay away from it,” Forrest said, growing troubled. “The groundskeepers had strict orders to clear it any time it appeared.”

“Though not so much in recent years,” Inger pointed out, “as the regular workers were let go and the place fell into neglect.”

“But we all ate from the same platters that night, and afterward our father was locked safely in his room.”

“That’s why your sister needed Graham’s help, specifically his expertise in the field of soft robotics.” As Graham began to pale, Inger opened the file he’d brought down. Selecting a passage, he read aloud: “Soft bots, as scientists refer to them, were first inspired by worms and other invertebrates. Made of pliable polymers, they were envisioned as larger bots that might be equipped with cameras and other sensors for space exploration or rescue operations at disaster sites. In time, researchers realized that arthropods with exoskeletons presented a more ideal model. Professor Covington’s contribution was to scale down these hard-bodied ‘arthrobots’ closer to their natural size of one to three inches, allowing them to maneuver into ever tighter spaces.”

Herbert Plum cupped a hand to his ear. “Arthur who?”

“Cockroaches,” Inger said. “An extraordinary if underappreciated arthropod. That wasn’t a cockroach that frightened Mrs. Plum as it raced back to Graham’s bedroom Sunday morning. It was a roach bot, slightly larger than the common pest but similar enough to fool her, given her diminished eyesight. Capable of crawling under a door and scrambling up the heavy tassels of a bed cover, to poke its poisoned beak into the sizable nostrils of a large, sedated man. A strong dose of monkshood sap, absorbed through the mucus membrane, can kill within hours. And what a brilliant means of delivery! Costly, though, wasn’t it, Graham? Not surprising that you were so disturbed that morning, seeing one of your precious prototypes destroyed.”

“Absurd.” Graham chuckled unconvincingly. “A bot like you describe — much too big to pass under a door, even in this drafty old house.”

“On the contrary. As you know better than anyone, cockroaches are able to spread their legs and compress their bodies to less than a third of their standing height, yet still move at amazing speeds, disappearing into narrow crevices. Your genius was to duplicate those mechanics in a miniature bot. When I was first in your father’s bedroom, I was fixated on a possible threat from above. But the entry point that mattered wasn’t overhead, it was beneath the door. It escaped our attention, because the door was no longer there. It was the one object missing from the room, something I realized when a chance remark by Forrest sparked my thinking.”

“But Whiskers slept with our father that night,” Forrest said. “Something resembling a cockroach would have caused him to awaken and pounce.”

“Perhaps when he was younger. But look at him over by the window, sleeping through the storm.”

Detective Aswell moved around to stand behind the siblings, her eyes directed across the table. “What happened to that battered roach bot, Mrs. Plum?”

“Swept it into my dustpan and discarded of it, miss.”

“Has the trash been picked up since?”

“Not until tomorrow.”

“Then we should be able to retrieve it?”

“I can take you right to the bin.”

“Don’t touch it. We’ll leave that to the specialists.” She signaled one of the deputies, who escorted the housekeeper out. “I’ll be surprised if we don’t find two sets of DNA on the remnants, Graham’s and his father’s. And more evidence on video, once I take a closer look.”

Daphne emitted laughter so brittle it nearly cracked. “I’ve never heard such a preposterous story. A mechanical cockroach, armed with poison and sent by remote control to commit murder? You’ll be hooted right out of court.”

“Oh, shut up, Daphne.” Graham slumped over the table, head in hands. “Didn’t I warn you it was a dangerous plan?”

“But why?” Forrest looked incredulous. “You both had so much. We all did. Everything we wanted, from the day we were born.”

“Everything but what you truly needed from a father,” Inger suggested.

With that, the fire went out of Daphne’s eyes. “All he cared about was making money and chasing women,” she said vacantly. “We were afterthoughts, especially Mother. This house and everything in it belonged to her as much as him, and by rights to us. I was damned if I’d let him squander it away.”

“As for Roger’s firstborn son,” Inger said, pivoting toward Graham, “he needed funds to supplement his research grants as he sought ever greater recognition. A phone call to a well-placed source at my alma mater revealed that.”

Graham raised his head, his voice quavering. “Nothing I ever did was good enough. Nothing I achieved measured up to what he demanded of me.”

“Then Forrest wasn’t in on it?”

Graham shook his head. “All he wanted was to save this house.” He smiled miserably. “At least that’s been accomplished, hasn’t it?”

Aswell read her two suspects their Miranda rights. As she placed them in handcuffs, Daphne regained some of her patrician starch, wearing her new bracelets as if they were somber pieces of mid-Victorian mourning jewelry.

“And what have you gotten out of this, Mr. Inger?” Her voice dripped scorn. “I’m sure you’ve done quite nicely for yourself, as our father’s trusted attorney.”

Inger crossed to the bay window, where Whiskers had awakened to stare out at the abating storm. The cat rubbed up again him, tail twisting. The day’s findings had left Inger immeasurably saddened; not just the fact of murder but the human wreckage his late client had left behind. Still, the clouds had parted, and the sun had broken through. The world outside looked fresh and glistening. He envisioned happy children romping on the lawns, or engrossed in books while shaded by trees, or discovering gardens colorful with butterflies and blooms. Just nothing poisonous, like monkshood.

“I plan to donate my fee to the Judith Covington Foundation,” he replied, picking up the purring tom. “Other than that, my wife and I get Whiskers here. Your father wanted us to have him in the event of his death.”

He turned toward Daphne and Graham as they were led away.

“Honestly, that’s quite enough for me.”

There Are No Elephants in Peru

by Margaret Maron

In June 2017 Grand Central Publishing brought out what MWA Grand Master Margaret Maron has said is her last novel. Entitled Take Out, it earned starred reviews from both PW and Library Journal, the latter saying that the book “...ends her distinguished writing career on a high note. Her many fans will enjoy this while wiping away tears of farewell.” No tears for fans of her short stories, however, for she tells us there will be more.

* * *

June 1977

Victoria Hoyt Gardner was as delicate as her china: very thin, very old, very expensive.

Seated in a massive carved armchair beneath the head of a snarling jaguar, she poured tea from an antique silver pot and said, “You shatter all my preconceptions, Dr. Webster. I expected an anthropologist as old and dried up as myself and here you are so young and pretty.”

Her face had appeared in too many society pages and her family was too much a part of Carlisle College’s history for me not to have an accurate impression of her.

“My doctorate’s in archaeology,” I said as I took the fragile cup she offered.

Biff Oliphant gave me a glare that was the visual equivalent of a sharp kick to the shins. “Archaeology, anthropology, all those — ologies confuse me too,” he chuckled.

Biff is Vice President of Institutional Advancement. He is not Carlisle College’s gift to academia, but he is very good at what he does, which is getting blood from turnips. Or, as Biff himself describes it, his job is to seek out wealthy individuals and corporations and “present them with opportunities for giving.”

Ever since Mrs. Gardner returned to the area last autumn and opened up the old Hoyt mansion that abuts the campus, Biff has tried to interest her in renewing her family’s past financial ties to the college, a nondenominational school here in Raleigh. From where we sat, we could look out through French doors to the 1947 Hoyt Golf Course given by her father. Beyond are the 1898 Hoyt Chapel and a 1923 Hoyt Dormitory, both endowed by her grandfather. Biff had burst into my office yesterday afternoon almost giddy with excitement because he thought Mrs. Gardner might donate a Hoyt-Gardner wing to the library.

Ordinarily, he considers me too socially unreliable to be taken along on a fund-raising mission, but Mrs. Gardner had specifically asked for someone in anthropology, which is how I came to be sipping tea in this wood-paneled hall surrounded by the stuffed heads of many animals now on the world’s endangered-species list.

“Carlisle College isn’t large enough to support separate departments, so anthropology and archaeology are lumped together in the history department and I get to teach both,” I explained.

“Dr. Webster is too modest,” Biff said heartily. “She’s an authority on Aztecs and her courses always close out. Very popular.”

Aztecs are Johnny-come-latelies compared to the Olmecs, my particular specialty, but Biff muddles all pre-Columbian cultures and I’ve quit being outraged by administrative ignorance. Small private colleges usually teeter too near the edge of financial insolvency to afford the luxury of intellectual administrators and Carlisle was no exception to this general rule. After all, someone has to raise money for salaries, Xerox machines, and red tape.

While the pleasantries continued, I studied our hostess’s face.

Victoria Hoyt Gardner had been a great beauty in her youth. I’d stopped by the library that morning to read up on her family’s history and in one of the yearbooks I’d found a grisly picture of her on safari with her grandfather.

Her thick brown hair and a rather hatchet-shaped nose had combined with enormous brown eyes to give her face an exotic symmetry that must have been bewitching. She wore khaki pants and shirt in the photograph and her booted foot rested carelessly upon the head of a dead lion.

Three lionesses and several slaughtered gazelles were arranged around the girl, and her grandfather, in a pith helmet, leaned upon his gun and beamed at her across the carnage. Her “How I Spent My Summer Vacation” essays must have turned this all-female college on its ear before she dropped out.

Good bones always remain even after the skin that covers them grows slack and wrinkled, and Mrs. Gardner was now well past seventy. She was thin almost to emaciation, with long bony fingers and long narrow feet, but her face still held the ravaged remains of that oddly compelling beauty. Her once-brown hair was clipped short now and covered her skull like a helmet of white egret feathers, contrasting with skin that seemed permanently tanned from her South American days.

In the mid twenties, she had married a famous playboy-sportsman and for several years they had amused themselves by leading safaris across the Peruvian Andes until Gerald Gardner disappeared one night while tracking a wounded jaguar. It was thought that the animal’s mate had ambushed him and dragged him off into the underbrush, never to be found.

This was in the late thirties, around the time Mrs. Gardner discovered that the back pains she’d ignored for a couple of years were caused by tuberculosis of the spine.

After the war, she had sold her cocoa plantation, parked her own trophies and keepsakes with her grandfather’s collection here on the Hoyt grounds, and then spent the next thirty years in and out of hospitals and health spas all over the world, seeking first a cure for her disintegrating spine and, finally, simple cessation from pain.

It was assumed that she had come home to die.

She seemed well enough that spring afternoon, though, even stylish in a high-necked dress of coral linen. Her only piece of jewelry was a chain of beaten gold with some sort of primitive bronze medallion.

She saw my curious glance and slipped it from the chain so I could hold it.

“A fertility totem?” I asked, examining the heavy-breasted figure engraved on the reverse.

Her dark eyes became veiled. “Did no good, I’m afraid. I’m the last Hoyt. Last Gardner too, for that matter. Do you have children, Dr. Webster?”

“A little girl,” I said. “She’s three.”

Biff broke in on what he considered an awkward moment. Even though we’re almost ten years past Woodstock and Carlisle College has moved with the times, this is the Bible Belt and he still finds it a bit uncomfortable to acknowledge a faculty member who’s had a child out of wedlock.

Me.

Everyone knows about Jenny. I certainly hadn’t kept her in a closet, but Biff launched a discourse that tactfully maneuvered Mrs. Gardner back to her plans for Carlisle.

“It’s my grandfather’s collection,” she said. “I want to create a museum in his memory.”

Although her father had hunted occasionally, his real killings were on Wall Street, where he had parlayed a comfortable family fortune into enormous wealth. It was his father, Mrs. Gardner’s grandfather, who had manfully gunned for big game from the Arctic to the Argentine with a few side trips to Africa and Asia thrown in for variety. In addition to the animal heads in this room, he often stumbled upon the ruins of ancient cultures and, with the indiscriminate pack-rat acquisitiveness of the nineteenth century, he had simply carted it all home with him.

He shot alligators in the Florida swamps and brought back Seminole pottery; he tracked mountain lions in the Rockies and discovered flint projectile points beside the remains of an imperial mammoth. Returning from an expedition to bag polar bears near the Arctic Circle, he had stopped off long enough in the Pacific Northwest to collect three Chinook totem poles.

“The barn is crammed to the rafters,” said Mrs. Gardner. “This house has been standing a hundred and sixty years and architects assure me there’s no reason it can’t last another two hundred. I propose to leave it and the grounds and a sizeable endowment to Carlisle College.”

On the couch beside me, Biff tried not to quiver.

“The outbuildings can be torn down, but the house will become a museum. My grandfather’s discoveries will form the core collection and for that, Dr. Webster, I need an expert.”

“Me? But I’m an archaeologist,” I repeated. “I know absolutely nothing about setting up a museum or—”

She brushed aside my objections with the airy wave of wealth. “Architects will supervise the physical conversions and the endowment will eventually salary a curatorial staff, but that comes later. First, someone must go through everything crate by crate, to inventory and evaluate. I hope that will be you, Dr. Webster.”

She shifted her small frame and pain shadowed her face even though the capacious chair was heaped with cushions.

From nowhere, a stocky, dark-skinned woman with straight blue-black hair glided across the room. I had heard that Mrs. Gardner’s personal companion was from the Peruvian Andes, but this was the first time I’d seen her. She gently repositioned the pillows behind Mrs. Gardner’s back and disappeared as silently as she had come.

Biff seemed not to have noticed. Visions of acquiring the Hoyt property for Carlisle had dazzled his eyes.

“Isn’t it lucky, Ellen, that you decided not to go to Mexico this summer?” he exclaimed.

“Very,” I answered coldly.

My old mentor from the university had pulled several strings so that I’d be offered the assistant directorship of an important excavation in Guerrero this summer, but I’d had to turn it down.

Academically, it was a brilliant opportunity. The pay, however, would barely cover my expenses down and back and I desperately needed more money. Dahl Mackey’s the best lawyer around, but very expensive. So instead of participating in what looked like the most promising Olmec discoveries in years, I’d contracted to teach summer school at Carlisle. Two classes a day, I reminded Biff.

“Someone else can teach them,” he said.

Mrs. Gardner murmured that she would make it worth my while, and since the figure named was nearly three times what I’d make teaching, we shook hands on it.

Her hand in mine was like cool bone china.

When I got home that afternoon, Jenny and her sitter were squirting each other with water pistols. Naked except for a pair of Minnie Mouse underpants, Jenny ran barefooted across the grass and flung her wet arms around my knees.

“Dr. Bob bringed us some fish,” she announced.

Brought us, you ungrammatical imp,” I said, dodging a blast from her water pistol.

Bob Carson’s a dentist who lives next door. Widowed now and nearing retirement, he loves to fish, but hates to scale and clean them. I grew up on a working farm that still slaughters its own pork, beef, and poultry, so gutting a few fish doesn’t faze me.

“He left them in a bucket on the porch, Dr. Webster,” said Gail. “They’re still alive.”

Gail’s one of four undergraduates who share Jenny’s care this semester during my working hours. They tidy up and throw things in the washer, but I’ve always made it clear that Jenny was the only reason they were hired.

The telephone rang as I finished cleaning the fish and my stomach knotted at the sound of my lawyer’s voice. I took a deep breath, prepared to hear the worst.

“Good news,” Dahl Mackey said briskly. “The judge agreed to the restraining order, so if Dr. Davis attempts to speak to you or Jenny before the hearing, he’ll be in contempt.”

Relief at winning the first skirmish over Jenny made me almost giddy.

Mrs. Gardner was being diplomatic when she called me young and pretty, but Jenny could pose for Gerber ads. While I don’t exactly stop clocks with my face or gross out the men with my body, people do tend to use tactful adjectives like “healthy” or “sturdy” to describe my build. Jenny has my fair hair and blue eyes, but she’ll be truly beautiful someday because she dipped into the genetic pool and came out with Aaron’s slender frame, sidelong smile, and devastating eyelashes.

Aaron is Aaron Davis. More properly, Dr. Aaron Davis, Ph.D.

He was an ambitious grad student still fumbling around for a thesis subject when we met four years ago at a dig in Mexico. One kiss behind the processing tent and I had gone right up in flames.

Friends tried to douse it. They said he was a user and a taker, but I wouldn’t listen. Our fiery summer passion burned into autumn — just long enough for him to finish outlining a doctoral thesis based on my original observations before he dumped me.

But not before I was pregnant with Jenny.

At first, in my hurt and bitterness, I considered an abortion. Then I got logical: I was twenty-eight, already tenured, and happily climbing the academic ladder. I might never marry, so why throw away this one sure chance at motherhood?

Until this spring, it had worked out beautifully. Friends were supportive and, when I was in class, responsible students looked after Jenny. Even summer digs were no problem. I simply bought an extra plane ticket for Jenny’s sitter and took them both along. My work was starting to be published in various scholarly journals and I honestly believed I was going to get it all.

Then Aaron showed up on my doorstep this spring.

He was teaching anthropology at the university here. Through the grapevine, I’d heard that he’d married the daughter of one of the trustees. I also heard that he wasn’t publishing. Perhaps it was professional jealousy or maybe his wife couldn’t conceive or maybe it was pure ego that made him think he could get away with it. I really didn’t care what his motives were.

All I knew was that once upon a time, I had given Aaron my love, my body, and my notebooks on Olmec culture. No way would I give him Jenny too.

“Unwed fathers have rights,” he said smugly.

“Like hell!” I’d snarled. “You don’t get rights without responsibility and you haven’t contributed a penny to Jenny’s upbringing. No judge in the world will give you any rights to her at this late date.”

“We’ll see. There’s no father figure in her life. I can give her paternal love and a full-time mother too.”

“Big deal,” I’d sneered inelegantly.

“It may be enough to get her for the summers,” he said. “A normal American summer in a two-parent home instead of being dragged off to a primitive camp in a backward region where she nearly died of dysentery.”

“I see your data’s as faulty as ever,” I answered. “Jenny had a light case of chicken pox last summer, not dysentery. And Acapulco’s hardly a backward region.”

Aaron flushed at the reference to flawed data. That was what had gotten his foundation grant withdrawn the year after we split up. Archaeology may seem a dry subject to outsiders, but those within the field care passionately about accuracy. Speculations and theories, when labeled as such, are allowed. Falsifying the evidence isn’t.

“Okay,” Aaron had snarled. “You want a fight? You’ve got it.”

He began legal action that week and I retained the very expensive Dahl Mackey, who warned me that I might indeed have to share Jenny’s custody.

“I’ll swear he’s not the father.”

“Unless a blood test excludes him, it’ll just be your word against his,” Mackey warned.

The hearing was scheduled for the end of summer, but Aaron had developed a nasty habit of showing up at the house while I was in class, bullying the sitters and confusing Jenny with talk of a new mommy and daddy.

At least the restraining order would keep him away for the time being.

I turned in my final grades a week later and the very next day met at the Hoyt barn with Mrs. Gardner and Eustis Hill, the handyman who had used a dolly to bring several crates into a large workshop area of the ground level where there was a stone sink and several long tables for spreading out my finds.

“This was my grandfather’s favorite place,” Mrs. Gardner said, stroking an enormous Kodiak bear that guarded the door with wicked claws and bared fangs. “He was an accomplished taxidermist and mounted his own kills.”

For a moment I was surprised that a young society girl would be exposed to the bloody reality of taxidermy, but then I decided it wasn’t that much different from my own upbringing on a working farm. No one had ever worried that my girlish sensibilities were being violated during the annual hog-killings or when I was sent out to chop off a chicken’s head, then clean it for Sunday dinner.

Mrs. Gardner lingered only long enough to show me where her grandfather’s journals were shelved before returning to the house. Her spine had so deteriorated that sitting was almost as painful as standing.

I was pleased to learn that William Pierson Hoyt had documented his hunting trips — the animals shot, the oddities collected. There were separate three-by-five-inch pocket notebooks for each year and while his entries weren’t as precise as I could have wished when he wrote about inanimate objects, they would help authenticate the provenance and geographical origin of the artifacts, a thing of crucial importance.

To use a simplistic example: If you should pick up a carved elephant’s tusk while rummaging in an East Indian antique shop, you’d have a nice souvenir of your trip. But if that elephant’s tusk came out of a preColumbian burial mound and you could document your discovery, you’d set off shock waves in the archaeological world. The earliest known elephant in our hemisphere arrived with a circus around the turn of the nineteenth century, so you’d go down in history as the first person to prove a definite link between the Old World and the New after the original inhabitants crossed over the Bering Strait, about thirty thousand years ago, give or take a few thousand. It is thought that Pacific currents could have swept Asians with later knowledge and later skills out to sea to fetch up on the coast of Ecuador or Peru, but it’s never been proven.

Eustis Hill and I spent the first few days shifting everything around by way of the large freight elevator in the center of the barn. Europe and Africa on the top floor with the Americas on the second.

If I couldn’t be in Mexico, I had to admit that cataloging William P. Hoyt’s collection was the next best thing. It was Christmas every morning with unexpected treasures in almost every crate.

Beefy, middle-aged Eustis was more phlegmatic. The only time he showed any real interest was when he pried the lid off a long box and said, “Is that a coffin?”

It was a battered blue-and-rose mummy case with faded hieroglyphics. I checked the journals and found an 1887 entry: Mummy case. Gift of the Khedive.

His pudgy face went pale when I lifted the lid. “Somebody’s still in it!”

“Don’t worry,” I said, smoothing the frayed linen wrapping. I am always moved by ancient human remains, moved and filled with awe by what those hands have touched, what those eyes have seen. “He’s two thousand years past hurting you.”

Before we carried it up to the third floor and set it in an out-of-the-way space, I adjusted the floodlights I’d brought in and took several black-and-white pictures with my 35mm camera. Supplementing the journals with a detailed photographic record would make the eventual curator’s job easier.

By the end of the week, the rough sorting was done and after that I mostly worked alone. Every few days, Eustis would haul several new crates down to the workshop area and move out the ones I’d catalogued and photographed.

The Mexican crates were interesting — some Toltec temple carvings and an almost perfect Mazapan bowl old William P. had found while gunning for cougars in the spring of 1892 — but nothing from my Olmec period.

Although I worked alone, the barn was not solitary confinement. Besides Eustis, there was Mrs. Powell, the housekeeper. Every morning around ten, she would bring me a fresh thermos of hot coffee and she often stayed to gossip while I drank the first cup.

From her I learned that Mrs. Gardner’s Indian companion was named Luz and that Luz probably understood English much better than she spoke it. Like my employer, Luz came and went so silently that I often was unaware of her presence until she spoke. Despite my smiles and attempts at conversation, she would deliver Mrs. Gardner’s messages with an impassive face and immediately depart. The most response I ever got from her was when the large atlas was open on the workbench to pictures of the Andes. She examined them with such intensity that the next time she came, I gave her a lavishly illustrated travel guide to the region. She thanked me with a formal, unsmiling nod but Mrs. Gardner told me that Luz had been quite pleased. “You’re the only other gringa who ever gave her a present.”

From Mrs. Powell, I also learned that Mrs. Gardner was in constant pain although she seldom complained. “Poor lady! That TB’s eating her backbone right up.”

On days when it was unbearable, Mrs. Gardner kept to her room and saw no one except a nurse and Luz. On good days, she would drop by the barn to hear what new treasures I’d found.

Like her grandfather, Victoria Gardner had been more physical than bookish in her pursuits and she knew very little about the artifacts. She remembered the mummy from her childhood, though, and was sharply protective of it.

“You didn’t unwrap it, did you?”

“No, I’m not qualified. That’s something the curator will do.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” she snapped. “I used to feel so sorry for him, brought away from his quiet tomb. My lawyer will stipulate that the bones are not to be further disturbed.”

“But the historical value—” I protested.

“History will manage without my mummy, Dr. Webster,” she snapped and her dark brown eyes glowed feverishly.

Those eyes were now the most vibrant feature in her ravaged face, huge and burning and vaguely predatory. She moved quietly when she visited the barn and often I would be aware of her watching presence long before I had heard a sound.

Not that one more watcher should have made a difference. I was daily surrounded by rapacious eyes. From grandfather to son to granddaughter, the Hoyts had hunted hunters more often than prey — leopards, bears, even a python stuffed and mounted in coils around a wild-eyed goat. They crowded the walls and perimeters of the large area where I worked until I finally clumped them together in one corner under the pretext of needing more clear space.

Mrs. Gardner noticed my distaste for her family trophies. “You don’t like them, do you?”

“I never understood the need for blood sports,” I said, a little sanctimoniously, I admit.

“Too uncivilized?” she asked with amusement. “Blood lust is in our genes, Dr. Webster. Bullfights, cockfights, and what about your Aztecs with their priestly kings drinking the blood of human sacrifices? At least a hunted animal has a chance.”

“Against guns?” I countered.

“Even against guns.”

The dryness of her voice brought me up short.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I forgot about your husband. That must have been horrible.”

“Gerald had a good run for his money and then he got careless.” She shrugged. “At least it was quick. Jaguars kill with a single bite. He had nothing to complain of.”

I wondered if she envied his fate, a clean death at the height of physical power rather than her own painful wasting away.

“Why didn’t you marry your daughter’s father?” she asked abruptly.

I was becoming used to her brusque manner.

“He didn’t want to,” I said. “Fortunately.”

Her laugh was a short explosive bark. “At least you got a child out of it.”

Her fingers went to that fertility pendant and I saw that the bronze edges were shiny from constant touch.

By the end of June, I was well into the South American artifacts, which interested me the most. William Hoyt wrote that he and some Andean Indians had found some “old jugs and bones” during an 1883 hunt. I was doubly interested because Paul Hines, a former classmate, planned to dig in the Lambayeque Valley of northern Peru later that summer. I was amused to think that relics collected almost a century ago might rival Paul’s fresh finds.

The intrepid Hoyt wrote in his journal that he and his party had been hunting several miles above the Piura River when guides told him of a cave they had found a few years earlier and never explored.

That’s all the man had to hear. By nightfall, they had pitched camp on that isolated spot and went into the cave the next day with torches. They found animal bones and pottery shards but nothing else until someone noticed a large stone standing alone at the end of the cave. They rolled it aside and found a small opening into a continuation of the cave. Inside that second cave were “some native burial jugs.”

Here, Mr. Hoyt’s journal became even sketchier than usual because his guides had heard a jaguar’s cough nearby and he was too anxious to bag it to give many details about burial jugs.

Eustice Hill carefully pried open the two crates and set the contents on the floor. The first crate contained a single large jug. The second crate held three jugs that were decorated with simple incised figures that reminded me of Chavin ware, dark-fired and highly polished. Two were fairly large and empty, except that one of them had a much smaller jug nested inside. The protective moss crumbled to dust as I lifted it out. The large urn in the other crate came from a later period I didn’t recognize, but if the smaller three were Chavin, they could date back to between 900 and 200 B.C. Most of the funeral urns I’d studied had been buried in pits and I wondered how these had found their way into a cave.

The seal on the large urn had loosened over the years and I lifted the lid to peek in. Evidently Hoyt and his party had disturbed the original wrappings for I found myself suddenly eye to eye with a grinning, mummified face.

No way to tell its sex or age at death without doing possible damage, so after photographing it from all sides, I recapped it and lifted the smaller jug onto the worktable instead. Being very careful not to chip the ceramic, I unsealed the lid.

The child inside was so small that I could easily lift it out onto the worktable. As was usual for that time and place, it had been interred with knees drawn up under the chin and arms hugging the knees, then completely swathed in cotton cloth.

I looked again at the head painted on the urn. Lines radiated beneath the eye and I knew they symbolized the tear trails of heavy weeping. A vivid picture of Jenny’s small energetic body filled my head while my heart flashed back across the centuries and grieved for those who had loved this child. Human rituals may have changed; human emotions hadn’t.

I gently unwrapped the tiny form, using sketch pad and camera to document each fold and twist of the cloth as I went along so that I could restore what I undid. It was like a little mummified monkey, impossible for me to guess its sex.

A thin copper bracelet slipped to the table and I didn’t need my magnifying glass to see the signs of annealing along the edges, an indication that they had learned metallurgy. A gold repoussé ornament on the child’s breast confirmed it, but there was something so familiar about that ornament that an involuntary shiver ran down my spine.

I looked again, hardly daring to breathe. When the room finally stopped spinning, I used the last six film exposures to take close-ups of it.

Part of my brain clamored with giddy excitement, the other part had turned coldly calculating. Confirmation’s the first step, I thought.

I carefully covered the worktable and the small urn with a clean drop cloth, turned off all the lights, and hurried through the side door, where I almost barreled into Mrs. Gardner’s frail body.

“Dr. Webster!” she protested.

“I’m so sorry. I just remembered — I mean, I forgot—”

Relief that she hadn’t walked in on my discovery three minutes earlier had turned me into a babbling idiot. As protective as she’d been of that adult mummy, she would probably forbid me to do anything with a child, so I forced myself to calmness as I locked the door behind me. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Gardner, but I really am in a dreadful hurry. See you tomorrow?”

Without waiting for a reply, I ran up the drive that encircled the barn to a break in the tall hedges that separated the rear of the Hoyt estate from Carlisle’s nine-hole golf course and cut across the campus to my office. Happily for the state of mind I was in, most eyes were on Liz Fair-cloth’s golf clinic where several students were learning the most efficient way to get out of a sand trap.

I do not keep the neatest office, so it took me several minutes to locate the book I wanted. Professor Mitsuharu Yasukawa is the standard authority on early Japanese culture and once I had it in my hands, I called home. Jenny’s sitter cheerfully agreed to send out for pizza and to put Jenny to bed later.

Reassured, I carried the Yasukawa back across the golf course and slipped through that gap in the hedges, grateful for all the overgrown bushes and low-branched trees that shielded the barn from the house. There was no sign of Mrs. Gardner and I made it inside unseen.

With no exterior windows to give me away, I turned on the lights in the workroom and flipped through the pages of Yasukawa’s authoritative book until I found the illustration I’d remembered from earlier reading: a gold-and-shell ornament that had been found on the island of Kyushu. Carbon dating and other factors placed them at about 600 B.C., long after the first waves of migration crossed the Bering Strait and spread south.

And it was practically identical to the one worn by this child mummy! The same shell mosaic in the center and the same number of tiny gold balls around the edges. Surely both ornaments had to have been made by the same hand.

A longstanding archaeological problem still unsolved here in 1977 is when and where did true metallurgy begin in the New World? Gold and copper had been beaten into crude shapes with stone hammers for a few hundred years and more sophisticated metalwork appears after 500 B.C., but nowhere have transitional stages from cold to hot metalworking been found. Some people argue that the techniques must have been brought fully understood by those hypothetical castaways from Asia, while purists hold for independent development at some still-to-be-discovered Central American site.

Yet here before me was solid proof that metallurgy had travelled directly from Asia to South America.

My very own elephant tusk.

For one dizzying moment, I stood with my feet on Atlantis and my head in the clouds of Olympus.

“Ellen?”

I turned, startled to see Aaron in the doorway, looking preppy in khaki slacks and a light blue polo shirt, that easy smile on his lips.

“Sorry. I did knock. You were miles away.”

“Speaking of which, isn’t that where you’re supposed to be?” I asked coldly, kicking myself that I hadn’t locked the door when I came in.

His smile broadened. “Now what’s a court order between old friends.”

“If the judge knew you’d violated it, he might throw out your claim.”

“Your word against mine. No one saw me watch you cross the golf course. My car’s parked between those bushes out back and a friend of mine’s prepared to swear that he and I have spent the whole weekend at his fish camp in New Bern. He thinks I’m having an affair with one of the teaching assistants here at Carlisle.”

“Are you?” I immediately waved my curiosity aside. “Never mind. I don’t care. What do you want, Aaron? Tell me and then get out.”

He walked over to the worktable nearest him and carelessly hefted one of the hunting spears propped against the workbench. According to the journals, they came from the Amazon jungles.

“Is this what you turned down Guerrero for?” he sniffed.

“What do you want?” I repeated.

“Guerrero,” he said. “Call old Hodges and tell him you think I’m available for that assistant directorship.”

“Forget it. He’s already signed someone else.”

“Then what about your buddy, Paul Hines? He’d make room for me on his staff if you asked him to.”

“Why are you so anxious to dig this summer?” When he didn’t answer, the pieces fell into place. “You really are having an affair with a T.A., aren’t you? Is your wife getting suspicious?”

His smile turned into a sheepish smirk.

“So instead of facing the consequences, you’re off to South America?”

“It’s not just that,” he said, trying to look earnest. “I’m stifled here. One good productive dig, a paper published in one of the journals, and I could be on a tenure track at one of the ivies. Come on, Ellen. Bury the hatchet and I promise I won’t hold you to the letter of whatever judgment comes out of our custody fight.”

I was tempted. The thought of losing Jenny’s summer had tortured me, and Aaron was right. A word from me and Paul would take him on. Aaron wasn’t physically lazy on a dig. In fact, he had the delicate touch of a good pick man.

He also knew me well enough not to press while I decided. Instead, he set about being charming.

“So how’s it going here?” he asked. “Finding anything interesting in old Hoyt’s relics?” His eyes lit on the burial urn. “Hello! What’s this beauty?”

The excitement of discovery engulfed me again. Aaron and I might be antagonists and I might not respect his integrity, but he was a trained archaeologist and would know what I was talking about without my having to explain its significance.

“Oh God, Aaron!” I exclaimed. “It’s incredible! I think I’ve found the trans-Pacific link in metallurgy! Look at the Yasukawa picture and then tell me this ornament wasn’t made by the same craftsman.”

He looked, compared, and the excitement in his eyes mirrored mine. “Where was that urn found?” he demanded.

I showed him William Hoyt’s journal, the description of the cave and its location. I opened the large atlas that I’d used to chart other finds and we tried to figure out just where it could have been in relation to the Piura River.

“Damn!” Aaron said. “It’s not more than a hundred and fifty miles from where Paul is digging.”

“Great! I’ll write him tonight and you and he can go and check it out.” In my excitement, I had decided to be generous.

“No,” he said.

I was puzzled. “But this is what you wanted. A major find. And even if you don’t locate the cave this year, you can still get a marvelous paper.”

“To hell with a paper! This is a whole goddamned book. Book? It’s a career. There’ll be foundation grants, international conferences—”

I drew back in distaste. It was Mexico all over again. In the flush of discovery I’d let myself forget who I was really sharing this moment with. “You’d plan your own discovery, of course?”

His dark eyes took my measure. “Of course.”

I could almost hear the wheels spinning behind that arrogant handsome face.

“I’ll go down early alone, locate the cave and put that little urn back in its original spot. You’ll write Paul a letter and mention that Hoyt had found some adult urns near the Piura River. I’ll take a weekend off from Paul’s dig and toddle up and voila!

“Why will I give you the urn?” I asked quietly.

“Not give, love. Sell. I get the urn and you get my signature on the tightest document your lawyer can draw up to give you all rights to dear little Jenny forever.”

A cold anger began to build inside me.

“You’d sell your daughter just like that?”

“Grow up, Ellen. I can always have another kid, but a discovery like this doesn’t happen more than once in a lifetime.”

“No,” I said. “I won’t do it. In case you’ve forgotten, this urn doesn’t belong to me.”

He shrugged. “Who cares? Does Victoria Hoyt Gardner give a twopenny damn about any of this? From what I hear, all she wants is a few arrowheads and potsherds to scatter around as a background for all those stuffed animals. Use your head, Ellen. There’s enough glory here to go around. I’ll give you full credit for setting me on the right track and pointing me to the cave.”

“Thanks, but no thanks.”

A glance at the clock on the far wall reminded me that day must be fading to twilight. I stacked the books and started to put away Hoyt’s journal when Aaron shoved me aside and grabbed it.

“You’ve always got to be so stupidly righteous, don’t you? You think you’re smarter than me because you got published and tenured and everybody smoothes your way. Well, this time it doesn’t work. Let’s see how you like having someone question the integrity of your findings with nothing to back it up.”

I sprang for the journal but he knocked me away with a vicious backhand.

“I’ll tell!” I gasped.

He sneered at my frustration. “Don’t forget my fishing friend. He’ll swear that I never left his sight all weekend. From now on, I’m a model husband and a model father. By the time I’m finished, you’ll be lucky to get Jenny on the weekends.”

To this day I can’t say whether it was to save the journal or to save Jenny. All I know is that one of those Stone Age spears was suddenly in my hand and a moment later, I had whacked him over the head as hard as I could.

As he staggered forward, I lunged for the journal. An instant later, Aaron was on me, grabbing for the journal and punching me in the stomach.

We struggled and the journal went flying across the floor. I aimed for his groin and scrabbled for something to protect myself with. My hand closed around another spear, but before I could bring it up, he hit me in the head so hard that everything went black.

When I came to, my head throbbed with pain. There was no sign of Aaron, but a trail of blood led to the door and I found where he had parked his car earlier. No sign of it now.

Back inside, I saw blood on the spearpoint. Somehow I must have managed to wound him.

The journal we had fought over lay under the worktable, but it gave me no joy. Once he told a judge how I’d stabbed him, I would probably lose custody of Jenny completely.

Bruised and battered in body and spirit, I headed home. Jenny was already asleep when I got there and after the sitter left, I poured myself a glass of wine and went out on the deck to ponder my options. The whole nightmare unreeled itself over and over in my mind as I waited for Aaron to call and gloat.

When I stepped out of the shower next morning, ugly bruises had come up on my body and my mirror showed a dark blue one beneath my right ear. I was stiff and sore all over and still no call from Aaron or his attorney, so I gave Jenny her breakfast and drove her to nursery school before heading for the barn.

To my astonishment, the barn floor had been scrubbed clean, the spears were back in their stand, and there was no sign of the burial jugs.

Instead, Mrs. Gardner sat in the wheelchair that she was beginning to use more frequently and Luz was just stepping off the elevator.

I was dumbfounded.

Mrs. Gardner fixed me with a cold eye. “Were you trying your hand at taxidermy, Dr. Webster? You seem to have made much more of a shambles of it than my grandfather ever did.”

“Mrs. Gardner, I—”

And I believe I told you not to disturb my mummies. Luz has taken them up to the top and you are not to touch them again. Is that understood?”

I nodded mutely.

As Luz took her place behind the wheelchair, Mrs. Gardner reached up and touched my cheek. “I should put some makeup on that if I were you,” she said and then they were gone.

Mrs. Gardner sent for me late in the afternoon. A police detective was there to tell me that my daughter’s father had been found in his car on the other side of campus.

I was stunned. “Dead? How?”

“He appears to have been stabbed by a large knife. We think it happened between four-thirty yesterday afternoon and eight o’clock last night,” he said. “Mrs. Gardner says she saw you shortly before five. Can you account for the rest of the time? It’s purely a formality, Dr. Webster, but since you did have a restraining order against Dr. Davis...”

Shaken, I said, “I walked over to my office for a book I needed and returned about fifteen minutes later.” I named the colleagues who had seen me. “After that, I worked here alone until I left around eight.”

“Not entirely alone,” said Mrs. Gardner. “You forget that Luz brought you some fruit and cheese. Luz?”

She translated Luz’s answer, which effectively eliminated me from any involvement with Aaron’s death, and by the time the detective glanced back at me, I had erased every trace of surprise from my face.

He took down the name of Jenny’s sitter, then assured me again that it was merely a formality.

When he was gone, I looked at Mrs. Gardner. “How—? Why—?”

“Luz did bring you fruit and cheese, Dr. Webster. She was there when that man struck you down.”

I stared at her, speechless.

Mrs. Gardner gave me a wintry smile. “Luz saw my husband hit me like that once.”

To my relief, Aaron’s death soon moved from the front page to the back and then appeared to join the city’s backlog of unsolved murders as the police ran out of viable suspects. Both his wife and his girlfriend had rock-solid alibis and the friend who was supposed to cover for him could prove that he was in New Bern at the time, a hundred miles away. I like to think that I would have come forward had someone been arrested and charged, but it didn’t happen and I certainly wasn’t going to bring it up. Nor did Mrs. Gardner refer to it again.

By the end of August, I had finished cataloging William P. Hoyt’s collection. All that remained was to develop and label the pictures I had taken and pick up my final paycheck.

The night before that happened, though, Bob Carson showed up at my back door with a bucket of bluegills he’d caught that afternoon and a hopeful look on his wrinkled face. “If you’ll fry ’em, I’ll make the hush puppies,” he’d said.

“Deal!” I’d said.

Next morning, I gave Mrs. Gardner the card file of labeled and numbered photographs I’d created for a future curator.

She frowned when I handed her six negatives and held one of them up to the light. “What is this supposed to be?”

“These are the only negatives and I haven’t kept any copies,” I said as I showed her the black-and-white pictures that I’d taken of the grinning mummy in the large burial urn.

“My next-door neighbor is a dentist,” I said. “When he saw these pictures last night, he said that this man’s dental work was probably done in the nineteen thirties.”

Mrs. Gardner closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair.

“Your husband wasn’t killed by a jaguar, was he?”

She shook her head. “No. And tuberculosis didn’t destroy my spine or destroy my chance of ever having children either. Gerald knew he had syphilis, but he didn’t care and he didn’t tell me till it was too late.”

“But why ship him back here?”

She shrugged. “Somehow it seemed appropriate to stash him here with the rest of my family’s kills.” Her dark eyes glowed with feral intensity. “After all, I could hardly stuff him, could I?”

The Public Hero

by Robert S. Levinson

Frequent EQMM contributor Robert S. Levinson is the author of eight standalone novels and five books in a series starring newspaper columnist Neil Gulliver and his ex-wife Stevie Marriner. His most recent novel, 2016’s The Stardom Affair, belongs to the Gulliver series. The L.A. author is the winner of a best short story Derringer from the Short Mystery Fiction Society.

* * *

The name’s Rufus Reed. I run a one-man detective agency in a cramped one-room office on the fifth floor of the Enterprise Bank Building, an easy walk to the Musso & Frank Grill on Hollywood Boulevard, where I conduct almost all my meetings with clients. I’ve built up a nice business for myself since I opened Rufus Reed — Confidential Investigations and Related Services five years ago, in 1974, dealing mostly with high-visibility clients in the entertainment industry.

If you know the name at all it’s because it was all over the news not so long ago. I was in line in the bank, planning to make a cash withdrawal, when three silk-stocking-masked robbers armed with 9mm Uzis rushed in and got everyone’s attention shooting up the ceiling before threatening to take out anybody who got in their way.

Brave fool that I am, I leaped for safety over a teller’s counter, grabbed for the Glock I was carrying in my fishnet hip holster, and—

Blam!

Blam!

Blam!

— killed one of them and seriously wounded the other two before they could return fire.

That got my puss on television newscasts and the front pages of newspapers nationwide and earned me a trip to City Hall, to accept commendations from Mayor Tom Bradley and the City Council.

It also got my phone ringing nonstop with potential new business.

The offer I accepted without hesitation came from Sky Diver and the Sky Dwellers, the Aussie band currently Number One on the Billboard, Cashbox, and Record World sales charts. I may have been their biggest fan, had all their gold- and platinum-certified albums.

They’d be headlining Saturday at the Forum in Inglewood and wanted added security, to protect them from the groupies and backstage crashers that dogged them at every stop on their current cross-country tour.

“You come highly recommended, mate,” Sky Diver himself, the band’s lead singer and founding father, told me. “We got a lot of birds after our skin and nutty blokes not past offering bribes to the gatekeepers to make it to our dressing-room suite, which is absolutely off-limits to anyone but our own people.”

“Count on me,” I said, and told him I’d be bringing Buster Williams. Buster is a good-looking, six-foot-six black dude built like the Jolly Green Giant I use as my outside man when I have the need and he isn’t busy working the entrance rope at some Sunset Strip rock venue or on the road with some hotshot band, using his slit-eyed scowl to scare off problem people. I figured to station him at the backstage loading ramp, where fans generally congregated, while I played inside man.

“No extra cost for Buster,” I said.

Sky shrugged. “Whatever’s fair,” he said. “Take it up with our business managers. The band can afford it.”

Come Saturday, the Forum was jammed to its 17,500 capacity an hour before showtime and buzzing with anticipation. The refreshment concessions and souvenir counters were doing a brisk business. Outside, scalpers were harvesting a fortune from fans hoping to score the tickets they failed to purchase when the date, an instant sellout, was announced two months ago.

Backstage, corridor traffic was light, mostly arena personnel and tour crews taking care of last-minute bits of business for the Sky Dwellers and their opening act, Teddy & Betty, two attractive redheads in their early twenties who dressed like devils and sang like angels.

The headliners were barricaded in their dressing room, behind doors posted with warning signs that read NO ENTRY UNDER PENALTY OF YOU DON’T WANNA KNOW. The only exceptions, besides me, were their tour manager, the curvaceous brunette who did their makeup, another curvaceous brunette in charge of costumes, and a guy who wouldn’t stand out in a crowd of one, except for his crafty, half-moon shoe-leather-brown eyes in constant motion.

They called him “Worm.”

He was their bagman, the source of the thick ganja cloud that floated overhead.

“We don’t go in for the hard stuff,” Sky Diver told me, “but we’re at our best when we load up on weed before a performance. You okay with that? I suppose I shoulda asked earlier.”

“I’ve smelled worse,” I said.

“I knew I could count on your discretion. You want a joint or two for yourself, you get it from Worm... Hey, Worm, whatever the man wants whenever the man wants it, dig?”

Worm answered with two raised thumbs.

I thanked Sky for his generosity, but limited myself to the refreshment tables filled with chips and dips, cold cuts, salads, dessert treats, and ice buckets for the soft drinks and a selection of wines; I was halfway into constructing a Dagwood sandwich when interrupted by a knocking at the door.

I quickstepped over and asked, in a loud voice ripe with challenge, who couldn’t read the Do Not Enter warning.

“It’s me, Rufus. Buster. Got a problem out here that needs your personal attention.”

I threw back the slide lock and opened the door.

“Spell it out,” I said, before I saw the problem for myself.

Buster wasn’t alone.

A uniformed Forum security guard was standing beside him and had a .45 automatic jammed into Buster’s rib cage. “Step aside or your boy here takes a bullet,” he said. “You too, you try one false move.”

I never argue with a loaded gun.

Out of uniform he could have been an average-looking Joe hawking vacuum cleaners or a Jehovah’s Witness peddling copies of The Watchtower door-to-door. He pushed Buster forward, followed him inside, and relocked the door before ordering us to assemble against the far wall. “Not you, Sky Diver. I want you front and center,” he said. His voice was brittle, matter-of-fact.

Sky Diver obliged and said, “What the hell is this about? If it’s somebody’s idea of a practical joke, it’s not funny. We got a show to get ready for.”

“I’m going to kill you and anybody who tries to stop me. If you find that funny, go ahead and laugh.”

Nobody laughed.

Sky Diver looked back at me with a scowl that silently screamed: Do something. That’s what you’re getting paid for.

I could have argued the point, stressing that our deal didn’t call for me to get killed, but I supposed I did owe him some effort on his investment. Or a refund, if we lived that long.

I signaled for the intruder’s attention. “Do you mind explaining why you’re going to kill him?”

“I don’t know you, never laid eyes on you in my life,” Sky Diver said, his eyes trained on the .45.

“Shut up, you miserable liar,” the intruder said. “He asked me, not you.” His blue eyes grew wide with irritation and his breathing accelerated. “Hell and damnation. If you want to tell him what happened after your concert at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas last year, go on.”

“What happened? We filled the place, like we do for every date. That’s what happened.”

After, I said. When you and your band got back to the Fairmont Hotel with a bunch of groupies in tow. Now are you starting to remember?”

“That could’ve been anywhere on the tour. Groupies come with the territory. They don’t wait for an invitation. Me and the guys, we pick and choose and throw the rest back.” He sensed where the conversation might be going. “Listen up, man, if one of them was related to you, don’t blame me, blame her.”

The intruder said nothing for a few moments, then blew out a sharp laugh and swung his head left and right. “Not that, not that at all, we’re a God-fearing family, so I guess it is up to me to tell it like it was.

“I was waiting for you in the lobby, dressed up like a bellboy in an outfit I borrowed from the employee locker room, same as I found these duds when I managed to slip inside the Forum this morning and hid out of sight until it was safe to come out.

“The big fellow was no help in pointing me to the dressing room, wondering shouldn’t I already know, but my weapon convinced him to lead the way.” Buster nodded agreement. “I followed you and the two girls you had on your arms up to your suite and knocked, telling you I was room service delivering a special surprise gift.”

“Now I remember you,” Sky Diver said. “The singing bellboy. You begged me to listen to a song you’d written and handed over a copy of the words and music. I felt sorry for you, said, Go ahead, and offered you my Les Paul. When you finished, the bimbos applauded, but I had to level with you, tell you your song sucked big time, and send you on your way.”

The intruder’s face dropped a mile. “It was nothing I expected to hear, but you being Sky Diver with all them hits behind you, I took your word for it, took it like a man, right up until last month, when I heard my song being played over KWXI, and the ‘Quicksie’ jock saying it was the finest song you’d written in years, no question about it definitely being a leading candidate for a Grammy Best Single Award. I couldn’t turn on any station without hearing the song, over and over, every jock calling my song your song.”

“I picked up the Les Paul and played it for myself after you left,” Sky Diver said. “I heard elements I hadn’t heard before. I changed my mind. Took it into the studio, tinkered with it a bit. I had no idea who you were or how to reach you, or you would have had label credit for sure, and all that comes with it.”

“It was right there on the sheet music. My name. My address. My phone number. You knew exactly what you were doing when you stole my song. My song, not yours, Sky Diver. And now, as payback, I’m gonna steal your life.”

“I can correct my mistake. Gladly. It’s not too late to add your name to the credits on future pressings and on the band’s next album.”

“No. It is too late,” the intruder said. His voice was firm, determined. He moved into a shooter’s stance, both hands steady on the .45.

I couldn’t stand by and do nothing. “In front of all of us witnesses?” I said.

“So what? Who asked you anyway?” He moved the .45 in my direction.

I said, “You’ll spend the rest of your life behind bars. Is that what you want for your family?”

He answered by squeezing the trigger.

The bullet caught me in the shoulder, twisted me around, and sent me flying into the wall before I dropped to my knees.

“Anybody else?” the intruder said.

He was momentarily distracted by knocking at the door and someone calling: Fifteen minutes before we’ll need you fellas heading for the stage.

Sky Diver, possibly in a moment of panic, charged at the intruder.

Big mistake.

The intruder got off two quick shots, nailing him in the throat and chest.

Sky Diver clutched at himself, blood pouring over his hands, twisted around, and stumbled into a dead man’s swan dive.

Buster went for the .45-caliber automatic he had parked under his jacket in the small of his back. The intruder recognized the motion and clipped Buster in the arm before Buster could get off a shot.

The distraction gave me enough time to grab the Glock from my hip holster and pump out a bullet that caught the intruder between the eyes, a second bullet that tore into his belly.

The intruder was dead before he hit the ground.

I raced over to Sky Diver and dropped to my knees, checking for anything that passed for a pulse.

He was gone.

The room had exploded into giant sounds of relief.

The curvaceous brunette who did the band’s makeup sped to the door and called for help over a noisy crowd hooting, stomping, and clapping in unison their demand for Sky Diver and the Sky Dwellers to take to the stage.

The next thing I knew, I was blinking my eyes open and struggling to focus in a room at Cedars-Sinai, the sweet smell of floral arrangements competing for attention with the hospital’s medicinal odor. Hovering at my bedside was a guy in his mid to late forties with a mouthful of keyboard teeth and breath soaked in garlic. He was smartly dressed, a hand-tailored Sy Devore suit in the Sinatra motif joining a custom-made Sulka tie and matching pocket handkerchief, a silk scarf thrown casually around his swan’s neck, a trim moustache decorating his upper lip.

“Glad to find you awake, Mr. Reed. You don’t know me, but I most certainly know you. Hillhurst’s the name. Arthur Hillhurst. My friends call me Art, so please call me Art, because I do believe with all my heart and soul that we’re about to become the best of friends after I give you — how did Brando say it? — an offer you can’t refuse. I want to make you famous.”

Before I could reply, Hillhurst was off and running, talking at the speed of light, rarely stopping to inhale. He was a movie producer who’d been following my “Forum heroics” — his phrase, not mine — in the press with keen interest, reminded that I’d inspired similar attention earlier by single-handedly taking out armed robbers at the Empire Bank in Hollywood.

“You’re the stuff dreams are made of, how Bogart put it in The Maltese Falcon, sir, the kind of film hero the public thrives on. With your blessing, I intend to turn your brave exploits into a memorable film and, if you’ll permit me optimism, an award-winner come the Academy voting season. Can I count on you to allow me to reach that goal by telling your story? Will you let me do that, Mr. Reed?”

“I don’t think so, Mr. Hillhurst.”

“Art.”

“I don’t think so, Art. I don’t consider myself a hero, never have. Bottom line, plain and simple, it’s not me. I’m just a P.I. for rent, doing his job the best he can.”

“I’ll tell you a story that’s stuck with me since I first heard it. Pablo Picasso, the artist, he does a portrait of Gertrude Stein, the writer. When he unveils it for her, she says, But, Pablo, it doesn’t look like me. And Picasso says, It will, Gertrude.” He grunted a laugh. “Do you get it? It will, Gertrude. The movie we make, in time, will be precisely how people remember you. It will, Rufus. It will. How you’ll go down in history. A hero for the ages.”

I said, “I’ll think about it some more and let you know.” Although my decision was set in stone, he didn’t have to know that.

“One more thing before I leave you to your thoughts,” Hillhurst said, clearly still angling for an answer. “Are you familiar with the name Jack L. Warner?”

“One of the Warner brothers.”

“The one with talent, as Colonel Warner would be the first to tell you. To be perfectly frank, I want to do this not for you or for me, but for him, for Colonel Warner, and I’ll explain why.” His eyes grew moist and the corners of his mouth drooped. His voice slowed to a sad struggle with his thoughts.

Hillhurst described how he was indebted to Warner for his career. Passionately in love with the movies from an early age, a time when Saturday kid matinees screened cartoons and serials as well as a double bill, he was barely into his twenties when he left home in Indiana for Hollywood, determined to work at Warner Bros., the studio whose range of films had become his favorites.

Unable to get past the studio’s heavily guarded gates off Warner Boulevard in Burbank, he navigated the 110-acre lot late one night until he found a vulnerable area, hopped the fence, and hid out in the bowels of an empty soundstage until daylight, when he set out to locate the office of Jack L. Warner, who was quoted in a Photoplay article saying: People who start at the bottom don’t understand that it takes just as much talent, grit, and determination to start at the top and succeed beyond their wildest expectation, the way I did.

That had become young Arthur’s mantra.

He visualized himself as Colonel Warner’s personal assistant.

He failed on his first three attempts, spotted by guards who unceremoniously tossed him off the lot with stern warnings not to come back, but he remained determined. Exploring the lot in the safety of night, he located the colonel’s prime parking space at the administration building, and hid nearby. When Colonel Warner’s limousine pulled up and the studio chief emerged, Arthur charged for him, shouting his name, but was stopped short and wrestled to the ground by Colonel Warner’s liveried chauffeur.

Arthur called, “Hear me out, Colonel Warner, or you’ll be making a big mistake.”

The colonel’s curiosity was roused. “What mistake would that be, young man?”

“Passing up the opportunity to hire me as your personal assistant.”

The colonel gave him the kind of look usually reserved for Camarillo inmates. “Why exactly would I want to take you on as my personal assistant?”

Arthur answered with Colonel Warner’s quote from Photoplay.

“I said that?”

“I have the clipping right here in my wallet, if you’d like to see it, sir.”

The colonel dismissed the offer with a wave, studied Arthur hard, and instructed his chauffeur, “Let my new personal assistant up, Nelson.”

Hillhurst pulled out the pocket handkerchief, dabbed at his eyes, blew his nose, and replaced it. “That, Rufus, as you surely must remember Bogart saying in Casablanca, was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Colonel Warner rewarded my unwavering loyalty with his own. He saw to it that it I learned every aspect of the business and within a few short years rewarded me with my own production unit, turning out B programmers until he was confident that I could acquit myself with potential big-budget blockbusters. I never disappointed him, always careful to connect the best scripts with the best director and the best cast, and I always brought my movies in on schedule and under budget.”

His voice was quitting on him. He walked around to the service table and helped himself to a glass of water, gargled, and swallowed. Tested his voice. Smiled with satisfaction.

“Where was I?” he said, settling back in his chair. “Oh yes. It was a glorious ride I had for almost thirty years with Colonel Warner, right up until ’sixty-nine, when he grew tired of the business, or maybe the business was growing tired of him, and he sold his controlling interest in Warner Brothers to Seven Arts for thirty-two million. I could have stuck around, but when the colonel left I left with him. The colonel needed me more than the studio.

“He got the urge to make a movie that would show the new generation that he still had the old moxie, that he wasn’t about to turn into another D.W. Griffith, who wound up wandering the streets of Hollywood unemployed and mostly forgotten as the silent era’s innovative moving-picture genius, who almost by himself invented the lexicon of the medium.

“Colonel Warner invested his own money to acquire 1776, the Tony-award-winning best musical, and produced, in ’seventy-two, a movie version starring members of the original Broadway cast. The film flopped at the box office. The colonel put on a brave face in public, spoke of future projects with enthusiasm, but privately he sank into a state of despair. He suffered a stroke two years later, in ’seventy-four, that left him blind and enfeebled, unresponsive to friends and relatives. And me too, but before he descended into that black hole he was telling me how for his next movie he would return to his earliest triumphs with crime stories that resonated with the ping of reality. He had done it before with films like Little Caesar, The Public Enemy, Angels with Dirty Faces, Dead End, creating stars like Robinson, Cagney, Raft, Bogart, and O’Brien.

“I want to do that for him, as homage to Colonel Warner. I can do it telling your story on the silver screen, which I’m calling The Public Hero. I can do it with the cast I have already started assembling. Beginning with Newman as Rufus Reed—”

I reared back into a double take that became a triple take. “Is that some joke?”

He ignored me and went on sharing his cast list. McQueen as the bank robber. Hackman as the revenge-bent songwriter. Jim Brown as Buster Williams. He dropped names like Pacino, DeNiro, William Holden, Duke Wayne, Jimmy Stewart, Charlton Heston, Richard Burton, and even Elizabeth Taylor for cameo roles, the way Mike Todd had pulled it off in Around the World in 80 Days, Stanley Kramer for It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.

“We’ll go Todd and Kramer one better, Rufus, you and me, with scenes for those stars who are still with us: Cagney, O’Brien, Raft, even Huntz Hall from the original Dead End Kids, and Mae Clarke, who took a grapefruit in the kisser from Cagney. Give me the green light and we’re on our way.”

I said, “Paul Newman? I hardly look like Paul Newman, Art.”

“You will, Rufus. You will.”

There was something especially appealing to me about the mutual loyalty he shared with Warner, maybe because it’s something I had yet to enjoy in my own life. I’d come close once or twice, but it never lasted — my fault sometimes, more often not — leaving only the bitter taste of a failed effort.

Was it something that I could achieve with Arthur Hillhurst?

Was it worth the effort on so little evidence as this one meeting?

Could this be marked down as the beginning of our beautiful friendship?

I felt like telling him, Okay, okay, okay, Art. Let’s do it. Go ahead, but I wanted another day or two to think through my answer. If this marriage was going to work, it had to work from the first, for more than Hill-hurst’s sweet-talking effort to leave with a deal in place. I didn’t want to give him the impression I was a pushover. I needed to signal equality.

I said, “I still need more time to think about this, Art — a day or two.”

The pushback I was expecting didn’t come. “Of course,” he said. “You take all the time you need, Rufus. How many times have we heard Fools rush in where angels fear to tread since it was first written by Alexander Pope in 1711, expressed by Edmund Burke in 1790 and Abe Lincoln in 1854, and almost a hundred years later, in 1940, set to beautiful music by Johnny Mercer and Rube Bloom? I will leave you to your thoughts. When you have an answer for me, I can be reached at my office at Warner Brothers I’ll leave your name with the switchboard, so the operator will know to put you straight through without delay to my private line.”

“Warner Brothers? Didn’t you say you left the studio when Colonel Warner left?”

“I did, yes, but right after the failure of 1776, the colonel called in a favor with someone in a power position at Seven Arts. I was welcomed back with a production deal far better, bigger, and richer than the one I’d left behind to remain at the colonel’s side. Left unsaid by the colonel and me, of course, was our understanding I’d rejoin him whenever he made the call. Sadly, it’s quite clear that’s never going to happen now, short of a modern-day medical miracle.”

Was this one last blast of subtle salesmanship by Hillhurst before he blasted me with the full range of his sunshine smile, proffered a handshake, and left?

I allowed him the benefit of the doubt.

The next morning, I escaped from Cedars-Sinai after a nurse who reminded me of my grandmother verified I had a temperature, a pulse, and a heart rate that met acceptable medical standards. I one-stopped at my apartment to shower, shave, and hop into a change of clothes before aiming for the office, where I spent most of the day catching up, searching through the mail for checks, and returning phone messages offering assignments that didn’t require tracking after straying husbands or wives to gather evidence of naughty goings-on.

By late afternoon, I felt enough time had passed to make my point with Hillhurst and give him the good news. I dialed Information and got the Warner Bros. general number in Burbank. The deep-throated operator who answered made me wonder if Lauren Bacall was moonlighting on the switchboard.

I said, “Mr. Hillhurst, please. Rufus Reed calling.”

“Who?”

“Rufus Reed.”

“I mean, who are you asking for?”

“Mr. Hillhurst. Mr. Arthur Hillhurst.”

“Moment.” She was back after a minute. “There’s no one here by that name, sir.”

“Can you take a message for him or, better, connect me with his secretary.”

“I mean there’s no one here by that name on our employee roster, sir.”

“Hillhurst.” I spelled it for her, putting a period after each letter. “He’s one of your producers. Maybe your roster is out of date. Could that be it?”

“It could be, but it’s not, sir, unless you consider a roster that was printed and circulated just yesterday out of date.”

We went back and forth like that for several minutes, my temper growing increasingly sharp. She disconnected me after suggesting where I could shove my threat of reporting her to her supervisor and added as an afterthought, “Have a nice day, sir.”

Damn!

I felt like a fool.

Had I been bamboozled by this Arthur Hillhurst?

If so, why?

What was his game?

The questions kept me up all night, kept my belly in spasms.

Come morning, I ate a handful of aspirin and resolved to become my own best client.

No one I spoke with in the movie business, press contacts, or the cops, past or present, had ever heard of Hillhurst. I scoured the files in the Hall of Records, found no evidence anybody by that name, living or dead, ever existed in L.A. I hit a brick wall with federal and state agencies, including the IRS. I came away empty-handed when I repeated the process in Indiana, where Hillhurst claimed to have grown up.

Finally, I surrendered to the obvious.

The “Arthur Hillhurst” I’d been searching for didn’t exist.

I forced myself back to business as usual, pretty much able to exile Hillhurst from my mind until I got involved in the kidnapping of actor Blake Spencer’s little girl Carolyn. The nine-year-old apparently had been snatched waiting out front of her private school, Hillside Heights Academy, for pickup by the Spencer family’s live-in housekeeper.

Within hours, a ransom note was left in the mailbox at the Spencer mansion in Beverly Hills demanding half a million bucks for the kid’s safe return, spelling out delivery instructions and warning against calling in the police or FBI if they valued Carolyn’s life.

Spencer knew me, and we got along well. I’d done a few turns for him at parties he and the missus, actress Hazel Orange, were frequently hosting in order to get their names in print in the trades, the Haber and Beck gossip columns, and the major movie magazines, publicity being the lifeblood of stardom and billing above a movie’s title.

We met at MGM, on the set of his new film, The Singing Buccaneer. He guided me to his trailer, swore me to secrecy, and spelled out the situation. Under the thick layers of Technicolor makeup that hid his acne scars was the frightened face of any father fearing for his child’s safety.

“We keep the law out of this,” he said and handed over an attaché case. “The money’s all there. You trade the case for my precious peanut and bring her home unharmed to Hazel and me, understand?”

“You have my word on it, Mr. Spencer.” That’s how I answered him, although common sense was telling me not to play the fool and to head straight to the cops. Damn it. I’d never been a slave to common sense.

That night, I got to the exchange site at the marina twenty minutes early. The dock was empty, dark except for a dim light shining inside some kind of motorboat, radio music cutting through the silence, with what I recognized as “I’m Your Boogie Man” by KC and the Sunshine Band seguing into Rod Stewart with “Tonight’s the Night (Gonna Be Alright).”

I whispered under my breath, “Hope you’re right, Rod,” and headed for the boat.

“You got something for me?” The husky voice came from behind, stopped me in my tracks. “I asked, You got something for me?”

He had a face half hidden behind a bushy beard in need of a trim. Was wearing a thick knit turtleneck sweater, bell bottoms, a wool watchman’s cap, high-top sneakers. Was aiming a snub-nose .357 Magnum at me in a steady hand.

“Do you have something for me?” I said.

“I asked first, wise ass.” I held up the attaché case. “Ground it and pop open the lid, so I can have a looksee inside.”

“Not until I see the girl. Carolyn. That was the deal. I’m a stickler for deals.”

“I’m surprised that attitude ain’t got you killed already.” He stuck a thumb and middle finger at the corners of his mouth and blew out a shrill series of whistles. After a minute, there was activity on the motorboat. The cabin door creaked open. A woman stepped onto the deck, her hand on the shoulder of a little girl wrapped in a blanket.

I recognized the girl: Carolyn.

I also recognized the woman: Ida Menzies, the Spencers’ housekeeper. I’d seen her on those occasions I worked a social gathering at the Spencers’ home.

“You satisfied, wise ass?”

I hunkered down, set the attaché case on the walkway, unsnapped and opened the lid, and in a single motion snatched up the Glock I’d stashed inside and took aim. He cursed me and got off a shot before I could. The bullet from his Magnum tore through the case lid and crashed into my chest, propelling me onto my back.

The shooter stepped forward, still cursing, intent on polishing me off with his next shot. This time I was quicker. I pumped out a series of shots that stopped and dropped him for keeps. I’d been wearing a bulletproof vest as a precaution. He hadn’t been that smart.

By now the dock was alive with the SWAT cops and feds I put on notice after leaving Spencer at MGM. I hadn’t been about to take responsibility by myself for the safe return of the kid, who was unharmed and not entirely certain why Ida was being hauled away in handcuffs. When I gave Spencer my word about not involving the law, I was applying a concept I read or heard somewhere years ago: Your word is something you give. It’s a promise you keep.

By morning, the story was all over the news.

Once more I was being hailed in oversized front-page headlines.

My old encounters were being cataloged.

Phone messages from wannabe clients were piling up with the service.

I got to wondering if Arthur Hillhurst might call. Maybe come marching into my office, all smiles and good cheer, to bring me up to date on his progress with The Public Hero, hawking some excuse and apology for his disappearance when I pinned him to the wall with the question.

It didn’t happen.

I threw him out of my mind again.

It didn’t last.

Jack L. Warner was admitted to Cedars-Sinai Hospital in August of ’78 and died there on September ninth of myocarditis, leaving an estate estimated at $15 million. His funeral service was held at Wilshire Boulevard Temple, followed by interment at Home of Peace Cemetery in East L.A. Several months later, dozens of notables from inside and outside the movie industry joined for a memorial event called “The Colonel: An Affectionate Remembrance.”

I was an uninvited spectator every time. If Hillhurst showed up for any last displays of the heartfelt loyalty to Warner he’d spoken about to me with unimpeachable devotion, I wanted to be around to spot him, seize him, and pin him to the truth.

No such luck.

Friends say I’m obsessed, allowing myself to be consumed by the idea of finding a man who didn’t exist in the first place. Frankly, because it’s easier to accept their verdict than to argue, I haven’t bothered showing them the handwritten note I found after the memorial service, stuck under my BMW’s windshield wiper. It said: “Rufus, decided McQueen isn’t right for the bank robber in The Public Hero. Going instead with Nicholson.”

Killing Kevin

by Marilyn Todd

Marilyn Todd has penned sixteen novel-length historical thrillers, thirteen in a series set in Ancient Rome, three in a series set in Ancient Greece. She is also a prolific short-story writer and many of her short works also have historical settings. This one is contemporary; instead of taking us to a different time, it takes us around the globe!

* * *

Cathy never really wanted much out of life. Good health. Good legs. A good man to love, and who would love her in return. Okay, maybe a few other things too, like good wine, good skin, good weather, and, of course, a good book to curl up with on the sofa would round it off nicely. As would the time to sit down and write novels. Thrillers. All right, maybe not thrillers, but suspense, though. Something with a bit of a — you know. Bite.

She most certainly didn’t hanker after Versace, Louis Vuitton, or Jimmy Choo, any more than she needed yachts or mansions or first-class Virgin flights to the Caribbean to make her happy, although she wouldn’t have turned her nose up at any of those. No way, José. Uh-uh. But comfort, oh yes, comfort would be nice, ditto a career that didn’t involve any of the suffocating restrictions imposed on civil servants.

“Interfacing with the public’s great,” she’d tell her friends. “The job’s secure, the hours are fine, and I can’t complain about the salary.”

“But...?”

“But nothing,” she would lie. “It’s brilliant.”

Brilliant, providing you like having your initiative stifled twenty times an hour. Even better, if you enjoy working in the kind of silence that makes libraries rowdy in comparison. And absolutely dazzling, if you’re the sort who enjoys repetition, because there’s nothing like working in the County Records Office when it comes to repetition. Births, deaths, and marriages. Not a lot of room for manoeuvre there, where even the ink to sign the certificates is a special nonfade blend.

“What you need, Cath, is excitement.”

“Adventure.”

“A hot, passionate romance.”

Prosecco is famous for giving wise counsel.

“And where exactly will I find excitement, adventure, and a hot, passionate lover?” she laughed. “Not with a father registering his daughter’s birth, thank you very much! Or some old man, his shaking hand clutching the form from the hospital where his wife passed away. Or would you girls have me snogging the groom at the back of the Register Office?”

“Try Internet dating.”

“Cruise the supermarket aisles on a Friday after work.”

“If the old man was rolling in it, I’d say give it a go.”

The second bottle of Prosecco tends to lack the same wisdom, the third even more so, but we shall skip over that. The point is that, as spring turned into summer then faded to autumn, Cathriona’s wish list grew fatter, rather than longer.

Good health still topped the list, but for the first time, she’d begun to notice that when work colleagues fell ill, quick treatment became crucial in fighting disease, and that kind of response only came through private health coverage. Good wine had become subtly defined by vintages that were always ten pounds a bottle ahead of her budget, no matter how much she paid. While good legs, even at the ripe old age of thirty-six, needed cash thrown at them, either from bronzing or waxing or sessions at the gym, and the same applied to maintaining a healthy complexion. Bottom line: The money just didn’t go as far as it used to.

And while she had ample time (way too much time, actually) to curl up on the sofa with the latest bestseller, any attempts at novel writing fell flat. The plots were limp, the characters lifeless. What was needed was indepth research of her exotic settings to make the damn things jump off the page. To travel business — no, first class! — the way her protagonists did. What a pity luxury wasn’t compatible with a civil-service pay grade.

“You need a sugar daddy, Cath.”

“Or a hot date.”

“Or a cat to wrap round your neck, purr on your pillow, and weave in and out of your ankles.”

“Two’s better, then they’ll have some kitty companionship.”

“Make that three.”

“Okay, but four at the most.”

See what I mean about that last bottle of Prosecco? In fact, Cathriona was still smiling the following morning, when Kevin came to register his addict brother’s death, and boy, was he easy to talk to. As an only child, she knew what it was like to be an orphan, completely alone in the world. He was glad someone else understood. Working in contract law for a company that built food-processing plants, he knew all about rules and regulations, stifled initiative, the straitjacket constraints of a job in which no i’s were more dotted, no t’s ever more crossed. One date rolled into many.

Even so, it was awhile before she told her friends about Kevin.

“Is he hot?”

“Is he witty?”

“Is he rich?”

Hot wasn’t the word that instantly sprang to mind. Average height, average build, hair neither light nor dark, neither curly nor straight, clothes neither trendy nor stuffy.

“He has this cute little dimple in his chin,” Cathriona told them. “And you know that song by the Pointer Sisters? I want a man with a slow hand...?

Cue a predictable chorus of oohs and aahs, and you lucky cow, followed, of course, by another bottle of fizz.

“What about the witty bit?”

“He’s caring,” Cathy said. “Compassionate. Thoughtful.”

One of the first things he said to her was Tell me the things you hate about yourself, so I can start loving them.

“Never mind all that stuff, is he RICH?”

“Most definitely not,” she said firmly. But he could be. Oh yes, how he could be...

And from that moment on, Cathriona made sure her friends knew exactly how devoted she was, how deeply in love. Every time they met up, she gushed about the birdhouse he built for her, the meals he cooked, the way he always opened the car door for her. His eyes were the greenest, his laughter infectious, and—

“—you should hear his Clint Eastwood go ahead, make my day impression!”

It was important, correction, it was critical, that they knew she was ape-shit crazy for him. Couldn’t imagine life without this man in it.

So it was a little surprising, given all the gushing, that it wasn’t until her wedding day (after the Dirty Harry go ahead, make my day impression) that her friends learned of Kevin’s penchant for extreme sports.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” they cried.

“Laugh and the world laughs with you,” she said. “Worry, and you bring everyone down.”

Bungee jumping, paragliding, free diving, and motocross were oxygen to her husband. Ice climbing, when rock climbing wasn’t enough of a rush. Show him a kayak and a stretch of boiling rapids, and he was orgasmic.

“But these are dangerous sports,” her friends cried out in horror.

Tell her something she didn’t already know.

“We should take out life insurance,” Cathriona announced, during their honeymoon.

Two warm, sunny weeks in north-central Florida, which he spent cave diving and she spent next to a sparkling blue pool writing about a filthy-rich socialite being terrorized by her neighbour, in a bid to drive her insane so she could claim the husband for herself. (Good weather, remember, was also on Cathriona’s want list).

“Life insurance? What on earth for?” Kevin laughed off the notion. “Don’t you think I can still cut it at thirty-six?”

At which point he pounded his rock-solid abs, yodelled like Tarzan, and promptly carried her off to the bedroom.

A month after coming home, though, having been bombarded with statistics (“Every year, darling, in every one of these sports, there are over a hundred fatalities”), he finally agreed it made sense. Even so—

“How much?” Green eyes stood out on stalks when she showed him the contracts. “Jeez, Cath, if anything happens, you’ll be the richest widow in history!”

“Or you’ll be the richest widower.”

An unlikely scenario.

Extreme spell-checking still hadn’t caught on.

Still. Love, as they keep telling us, is a many-splendoured thing, so it was no great surprise that Cathriona should want to bone up on her husband’s energetic pursuits. All right, Paragliding Weekly was strictly for nerds, but The Only Way Is Ice wasn’t too stodgy, and Rock On! was a lot better than its covers suggested. But it was Down & Dirty, a twice-monthly cave-diving magazine, that really caught her attention.

Three times she read the article all the way through. Pored over the photos of Gabriel Field, a tall, bronzed man in his forties, geography teacher by profession, marathon runner for charity, with several hundred dives under his belt. Gabriel Field had a wife and three children, and the images of their empty faces at his memorial service would haunt Cathriona for months.

Memorial service, for the simple reason they never recovered his body.

According to Down & Dirty, there’s no place on the planet with as many underwater caves as the Yucatan Peninsula. Over a hundred different cave entrances, leading to mile upon mile of tunnels, each adorned with spectacular stalactites, stalagmites, and columns. To a geography teacher, this would have been catnip.

Gabriel’s dive buddy, his face wracked with pain, explained how they’d been laying a line to guide themselves out when the reel jammed. As always in situations like this, you turn back straightaway, and Gabriel indicated that he was behind him. The trouble was, the caves of the Yucatan are shallow in comparison to what he was used to in Florida and although he was experienced, his knowledge of caverns was thin. To make matters worse, his primary light failed.

“I did the one thing a diver must never do,” he told the magazine. “I panicked.”

He didn’t stop to consider that, if his backup light failed this deep into the underground system, Gabriel had both primary and backup lights, and they would be safe. Panic invariably overrides logic, and consequently, instead of using finning techniques that would have prevented the fine silt on the floor from swirling up, he swam as fast as he could to safety. It was only when he reached the cave mouth that he realized the reason he couldn’t see Gabriel behind him had nothing to do with the haziness of the water, and after a few minutes, he began to get worried.

“I mean, really worried, man.”

He checked his air supply and noticed it was getting low. Which meant Gabriel’s would have been too.

Having screwed up once, he was determined not to panic a second time. Fully equipped, and with a spare tank for Gabriel, the dive buddy followed the line back into the caves. Swirling sediment or not, Gabriel was experienced enough to be able to track the line home. What went wrong?

The general consensus was catnip. That, as a geography teacher, he had been so taken by the beauty of these watery tunnels that he had fallen victim to the same compulsion that drives most of us. The desire to see what’s round the next corner. Just the next one, the next one, just one more, then—

There’s a saying, the magazine article said, that watching your air pressure drop to zero is no way to spend the rest of your life.

Yet it would appear that was exactly what happened to Gabriel Field. He became lost in the labyrinth, and his air ran out long before he found the line laid by their reel. His body was never found.

Cave diving in Mexico is not like cave diving in Florida, the magazine said. For one thing, forget four-wheel drives, you need burros. You’re tracking a long way through jungle, and even with maps, it’s hard to know how far to go or where to turn. Many sites are difficult to find, few of the cave entrances have signs, and those that do are often misleading. Unless you speak fluent Spanish, you won’t just be in for a rude awakening. You’re risking your life, and those of others.

Cathriona looked over to where her husband was watching the rugby, England v. Wales in the finals.

“How do you fancy a trip to the Yucatan Peninsula, Kevin?”

Cathy’s friends were not remotely surprised when she quit her job after her husband’s death, upped sticks, and moved to Australia. Sydney was as far removed from her old life as it was possible to get, both geographically and in the way of life there. They wished her nothing but luck.

All she’d ever wanted, they said, was a good man to love, and to be loved in return.

Not entirely.

She’d wanted good health. Check. Good legs. Check. Good weather, check, check check, and dear God, wines don’t come much better than Barossa Valley, especially the ’99, ’98, and ’96 vintage.

Sitting by the pool — her own pool — overlooking Sanctuary Island in the Narrabeen Lakes, and just metres away from the ocean, Cathriona leaned back in her chair and stretched.

“Novel going well, love?”

“Zipping along,” she said, which it was. Sod those ridiculous socialites being slowly driven insane. She always said she’d wanted to write something with a bit of bite, and nothing bit quite like rampant werewolves and naked vampires. Publishers couldn’t get enough of her erotic romances; this was already her fifth bestseller, and climbing.

She couldn’t have done any of this, if she hadn’t killed Kevin.

If they hadn’t killed Kevin.

Her eyes ran over his rippling muscles as he towelled himself dry. “You want me to read you this latest chapter?”

Green eyes danced.

“Go ahead, make my day.”

Yes, she’d wanted all those other things, but at the top of her list was a good man to love, and to be loved in return. From the moment they met, Kevin was that man, and together, they hatched a plan.

Theoretically, “Kevin” was dead. Lost in a watery labyrinth below the Yucatan jungle, a tragedy of unimaginable proportions for the wife who loved him with all her heart. But though they both now called him Adam, that dimple in his chin remained unbearably sexy, those green eyes still sparkled with mischief, and Sydney offered all the surfing a man could ever need.

In the background the Pointer Sisters played.

“I want a man with a slow hand...”

On her lap, a cat purred contentedly, while another wove in and out of her ankles.

Ghosts of Christmas Past

by Elizabeth Elwood

Playwright and short-story writer Elizabeth Elwood is the author of five collections of short stories that constitute an ongoing series, the Beary mysteries. She was born in England but lives in Vancouver, Canada, where her debut story for EQMM is set. She is also artistic director of a company that creates marionette musicals.

It was the harshest winter Vancouver had seen in half a century, or so my taxi driver had told me. Still, at my age, half a century is nothing, and for me, the icy wasteland of the park was just as I remembered it. I had not walked through Jericho Beach Park since the Christmas of 1946, and then, as now, the rime-coated grass had crunched underfoot and battalions of indignant ducks had stood like statues, staring mutely from their ice-covered ponds. That Christmas was the turning point. It had begun so full of promise, but everything changed after the murder. My happy childhood memories had been destroyed by that one final memory.

So many years had passed since then. After that tragic Christmas, I had been whisked away to Ottawa, had grown up, spent my married life and later my widowhood there. Returning now was troubling. I had no idea why Aunt Maud had left Craigdarroch to me. Granted her son, George, had died, single and childless, in 1987, leaving me as her only living blood relative, but given the animosity between Maud and my mother, the legacy was a surprise. My aunt’s other properties and the rest of her fortune had gone to charity. Only the oceanside mansion had come to me. I would have to sell it, of course, once I had catalogued her papers and fulfilled the one condition she had stipulated. The house would be far too expensive for me to maintain, and I would certainly have no desire to live in it, even though it had seemed like a grand adventure when I had first been brought there as a child.

I should explain the family connection and why I had lived in Craigdarroch as a child. My mother, Edith Fergusson, and her older sister, Maud, were daughters of a wealthy lumber baron, proud of his Scottish heritage, who had built his Tudor-revival Point Grey mansion in 1911. I never knew my grandfather, for he died in 1937 when Maud was twenty-three and Edith was twenty-one. Maud had always taken a keen interest in the business, and she used the cash portion of her inheritance to buy out Edith, who was more than willing to off-load her share in the family home. My mother had no desire to become a slave to the industry that had provided the family wealth. She was pretty, charming, frivolous, and, I suppose, a little selfish, and she wanted to travel and have fun.

Mother headed for Europe, where, if the stories she told were true, she was the belle of the Riviera for a dozen blissful months until, with war threatening, she crossed the Channel to England. Here she met and married my father, a dashing RAF pilot who died in action in 1944. By then, Mother had gone through most of her money — her prewar year in Europe had included a protracted romp through the Paris salons and Monte Carlo casinos — and what hadn’t been spent on haute couture or lost at the tables appeared to have been badly invested. She was now facing an impoverished existence while raising a three-year-old daughter alone. Well aware that her sister’s sense of family pride would not allow any relative to live in squalor, she wrote to Aunt Maud and asked for help.

Predictably, my staid, reliable aunt had prospered. The lumber business was thriving under her leadership, and in 1941, at the age of twenty-seven, she had married Gerald Brent, a charming opportunist who worked for the company. In 1942, their son, George, was born. However irritated Aunt Maud was with her sister’s frivolous approach to life, she had a strong sense of duty, and she invited Mother to return to the family home. The cousins could grow up together, and Mother could assist with the running of the household. Maud’s sense of duty was laced with a firm determination to get her money’s worth. Domestic staff was not so easy to come by after the war, and other than Martha Durban, a cook-cum-housekeeper, who, with her chauffeur-gardener husband Alfred, lived in a suite over the former coachhouse, Craigdarroch was kept ship-shape by a variety of dailies. The only other live-in employee was George’s nanny, Hazel Swan, a pretty twenty-year-old who was the daughter of Aunt Maud’s manager at the lumber mill.

As I get older, flashbacks from my childhood occur more frequently than my more recent memories, and while I walked through the park, visions from the past came tumbling back. I was startled to realize how much I did remember of that earlier Christmas. Perhaps my memories were prompted by the sight of the three boys who were playing hockey on the frozen pond. A frisky black Labrador raced alongside, stealing their puck and skittering off the ice into the bushes on the shore. There had been children playing ice hockey on the Christmas Eve of 1946 when Uncle Gerald had taken me to the park, along with my cousin George. George and I had been wildly excited, having already seen the colorfully wrapped treasures that lay below the tree at the foot of the staircase in the grand hall. Mother was busy in the kitchen helping Martha make mince pies and other delicacies and Hazel had been given the day off, so Gerald had been assigned the task of keeping us out of mischief and ensuring that we did not interfere with the preparations for the morrow.

George and I were delighted to be passed into Uncle Gerald’s care. Maud was the disciplinarian of the family, but Gerald was fun. He would buy us treats and invent exciting games for us to play. George adored his father, and genial little boy that he was, never minded sharing his beloved daddy with me. The afternoon had been a delight. Gerald had produced a bag of sugar mice for us to share as we rode downtown in his Alfa Romeo. He called it his Golden Arrow and it seemed to us children that it flew like an arrow, for he drove with cavalier abandon, unlike the soberly cautious Alfred, who handled Aunt Maud’s stately Rolls Royce. Our destination that day was that treasure trove of seasonal delights, Woodward’s Department Store. There, we visited with Santa; then we trekked up to the top floor, where Uncle Gerald bought a Hazelle marionette for me, a Dinky Toys fire engine for George, and, most exciting of all, a sleigh for the two of us to share. The shopping expedition ended with hot chocolate and cake in the tearoom, after which we headed back to Jericho. It was bitterly cold at the park, but there had still been an hour of daylight, so Uncle Gerald had bundled us up with the extra woolens that Martha had thrust into the backseat as we were leaving the house; then he whipped his ice skates from the trunk of the car, tucked us on the sleigh, towed us to the pond, and raced around the ice, pulling us behind him and darting back and forth amid the hockey players. We had returned home breathless, red-cheeked, and gloriously happy.

We had been so carefree that Christmas Eve, just as the children on the ice appeared to me today. I wondered if there had been an elderly lady watching us all those years ago, someone bowed with the cares of life, but unnoticed by two children who were too full of the joys of the moment to consider that their happy state could ever be shattered.

A sharp pain in my side jarred me back to the present, an agonizing shaft that thrust from my ribs up into the side of my throat. It was a familiar pain that came whenever I allowed my thoughts to dwell too long on troublesome things. I took a deep breath, knowing I must stand still until it subsided. I turned away from the pond and stared out towards the smooth grey expanse of the ocean. The light was fading. The pale winter sky was taking on a dusky tinge, yet there was a streak of white reflecting the glowing lights that had silently materialized on the North Shore. The mountainside was pink in the sunset, and as the light diminished, the sea darkened into streaks of purple and black and an icy chill wafted towards the shore. The pain in my side had eased, but I was shivering with the cold and I became suddenly aware that the frigid air was silent. I turned and saw that the hockey players had left the ice. I was alone in the park. It was time to go.

I had told the taxi driver to drop me at the park because I had a longing to see the location that had provided the last happy moments before the tragedy. However, now it was time to face the house itself. Craigdarroch was only a block away, but I walked slowly. The sidewalk was icy, the black patches particularly treacherous, and I had no desire to fall. Had we cared all those years ago? Probably not. We would have raced along, slithering and sliding, our minds focussed on the treats to come and the presents under the tree. It was only with age that one started to worry about the fragility of one’s bones. By the time I reached the end of the block, the pale sky had turned to a lustrous indigo. The houses along the street sparkled with Christmas lights, brilliant against the night sky, but Craigdarroch loomed black against the luminescent void. There was only one light on in the house, and with no glowing windowpanes to indicate occupancy, Craigdarroch took on a sinister hue.

The wrought-iron gates at the edge of the property stood open. The driveway was poorly lit, so I made my way slowly to the front steps. Using the dim light from the lantern above the portico, I pulled out the key that had been passed to me by the fussy solicitor who had served Aunt Maud for the past quarter century. Then, bracing myself, I climbed the steps, opened the front door, and stepped inside.

The huge chandelier that I remembered from my childhood still loomed dimly overhead, but the only light reflected in its crystals was from the wall sconces which enclosed the hall in an eerie mingling of golden circles and forbidding shadows. I was not surprised to see the furnishings and decor unchanged. Aunt Maud had moved to a palatial West Vancouver property in 1948, but had stubbornly refused to sell Craigdarroch, knowing that the scandal would automatically depreciate its value. Instead, she held on to it as a guesthouse for business associates, and whatever renovating she had done had simply been to keep the house in good repair. There had been no attempt to modernize or alter the style set in place by my grandfather. The Benares brass umbrella stand was still in place by the door. The same oak gateleg table stood in the alcove behind the grand staircase, my grandfather’s ghastly painting of the stag at bay on the wall above it, and his two carved wooden chairs — my mother had referred to these as his penance chairs — sat on either side. It was a depressing scene, as is any empty house past its prime, but what a change from the Christmas of 1946.

When George and I had burst through the door after our afternoon with Uncle Gerald, the hall had exploded with light. The chandelier glittered and sparkled, the Christmas tree glimmered with what seemed a thousand tiny bulbs, light beamed in from the open doorways of adjacent rooms, and the gallery high above was lined with lanterns that made the colors of the paper chains appear fluorescent. The living-room radio was on and I could even remember what had been playing. “Deck the Halls” had heralded our entrance and George and I had joined in, singing at the top of our voices. Did I really recall all those details or was I simply creating memories from what I’d been told? How much was garnered from later years, when, as an adult, I came across a chapter about the case in a true-crime book and read about my own contribution to my uncle’s death. I could never be sure, but as I stared around the drab, empty hall, the events of that day swept back with the clarity of a film unrolling before my eyes.

As soon as we’d come home, Uncle Gerald had disappeared, his duty over. I remember racing into the kitchen to see what my mother was doing. George and I licked the bowls clean and sampled the almond macaroons until we were shooed away by Martha. Aunt Maud emerged from the living room, her program over, sternly telling us that dinner would be an hour from now and that we were to go upstairs to the nursery and play quietly until then. Maud, believing children should be seen and not heard, had relegated the entire top floor — once the domain of household staff in the days when servants had lived in — to a nursery that included a big playroom, surrounded by bedrooms for me, George, and his nanny, Hazel, who, Aunt Maud informed us, was back from her day out. Maud, having issued this directive, had gone upstairs to change for dinner.

Being enclosed in our rooms did not appeal to us in the least, and having shaken and inspected our presents for the umpteenth time, we decided to play hide and seek. This was a challenging game in a four-story mansion with twenty-six rooms, an attic, and both front and back staircases to explore. When it was my turn to hide, I ran upstairs, deliberately pounding my feet on the treads so that George would hear my ascending footsteps as he hid his eyes and counted to one hundred. The gallery ran the width of the grand hall, but two corridors opened off from it, the first one leading to the suite occupied by my aunt and uncle, and also to the carpeted stairway to the upper floor where the nursery was located. The second corridor ran the length of the house and ended at the back stairs. Given Aunt Maud’s irritation if our games became too boisterous, George and I rarely ventured into the corridor that led to her room. The doors opening off the other corridor led to the bathroom, a rarely occupied guest room, my mother’s room, and opposite her door, Uncle Gerald’s study. The latter was part of his and Aunt Maud’s self-contained suite, but it acted as a buffer between us and my easily irritated aunt, so George and I always used the second corridor and the back stairs when going up and down to our rooms.

There was another reason that I had preferred the narrow back stairway with its linoleum treads and plain panelled walls. There was something sinister about the silence of our footfalls on the carpeted stairway by Aunt Maud’s suite and I was frankly terrified of the painting on the landing at the top. Who but Aunt Maud would have a depiction in oils of Andromeda Chained to the Rock at the entrance of the floor where the children of the family bedded down? Hazel had tried to reassure us, telling us the story of Perseus and how he rescued Andromeda, but I still hated the painting. The maiden’s terror and the horrific head of the serpent rising from the sea was enough to induce nightmares in any impressionable child. The bare walls of the backstairs were infinitely preferable to a sensitive young girl of little more than four years.

I had intended to run along the corridor and down the back stairs so I could hide in the mud-room closet by the back door. But when I reached the gallery I heard voices. I looked along the corridor and saw Uncle Gerald standing outside his room. Hazel was with him. Her gleaming golden head lay on his shoulder, and even from where I stood, I sensed that she had been crying. My uncle’s arms held her tightly and as she raised her head, he bent and kissed her. Then, still with his arm around her shoulder, they turned towards the gallery.

Anxious to avoid them seeing me and telling George where I had gone, I backtracked to the first corridor, quietly tiptoed past Aunt Maud’s door, and ran up the stairway to the top floor. From there, I could run to the back stairs and descend two flights instead of one to reach my destination in the mud room. I remember my flight up the carpeted stairway, for my steps on the thick carpet were silent and I was trying really hard to look at my feet and not see the painting on the landing. I reached the top, still with eyes averted from the wall, and was about to race past the landing.

The scream came out of nowhere. My head jerked up, startled, and my eyes lit on the painting. The terrible cries continued, and to my child’s eyes, it was Andromeda who was screaming and the serpent was coming closer and closer. I think I might have been screaming too, echoing those horrifying cries from downstairs. I remember nothing beyond that.

I learned the facts of the case much later. Hazel’s scream as she fell to her death had been cut off abruptly as she hit the tessellated floor of the hall, but poor George’s screams as he uncovered his eyes and saw what had happened to his pretty young nanny were heard throughout the entire household. My aunt came running down from her room, and my mother raced out from the kitchen. Martha had slipped over to the coach house to get one of her own platters to augment the household supply, but she had come back in time to hear George cry out and was right behind my mother as they burst into the hall. However, it was a few minutes before Uncle Gerald came downstairs. He arrived to find my mother and Martha comforting George, and Aunt Maud calling for an ambulance. My absence was not noticed until George had been calmed and whisked away to the coach house with Martha. When my mother realized I was nowhere to be found, she and my uncle searched the house. They found me curled up in the nursery cupboard. My hands were over my ears. It took them fifteen minutes to coax me out. Everything after that was blank, except that in the days that followed I vaguely recall that strangers came to the house and asked me questions, and I had a feeling of discomfort as if, somehow, I had been bad and the sorrow that afflicted the house was my fault. This feeling was reinforced when I realized that my mother and I were to leave Craigdarroch forever.

My mother, of course, gave me a sanitized version of events to explain why we were moving. She explained that Aunt Maud and George were upset because Uncle Gerald had to go away, and it was better for them to be alone while they mourned his departure. Once back in Ottawa, my mother remarried, a kindly man who conscientiously concerned himself with my welfare and raised me as his own daughter. My mother settled down, and it was as if her frivolous, romantic side had never existed, for the tragedy had had a sobering effect on all who had witnessed it. Mother never talked about Hazel’s death. In fact, she refused to say much about that period in Vancouver at all, and if asked, she would mutter that there was no sense in talking about ghosts from Christmas past. I was too busy with my own life to be more than marginally curious about events that my parents deemed unworthy of discussion, and although I was vaguely aware that there was a breach between my mother and my aunt, I gave the issue little thought. Life continued smoothly until my eighteenth year, when my mother was diagnosed with leukemia. Throughout her illness she continued to be silent about those early years in Vancouver, but shortly before she died, she wrote to my aunt. I had a sense that she hoped for a reconciliation, but to my knowledge, my aunt never replied. Still, perhaps this belated legacy was the result of that letter. Who could tell?

It was not until I was twenty-two and engaged to a solidly respectable bank clerk that I learned about the events that followed Hazel’s death. Two years after my mother died, I came across a book of Vancouver historical murders and found our family tragedy analyzed in detail by an ambitious young writer who was skilled at finding topics that would ensure Canada Council grants to further her literary aspirations.

Reading about the case was disconcerting, because changes in perspective change what you see, and my perspective as an adult enabled me to understand nuances that had bewildered me as a child. It was like seeing an old movie years after a first viewing and finding my reaction so different that I could almost believe it was a different version from the film I had seen before. I had no recollection of being interviewed by the police, but there in print were the words of the little girl that I had been. Then I knew why my mother had taken me away and why she had been haunted by the tragedy. It had been my testimony that had sent Uncle Gerald to the hangman. The kindly police inspector had asked me if I had seen my uncle hurt Hazel and I had replied: “He wouldn’t have hurt her. He liked her. I saw him hug and kiss her.”

Genial Uncle Gerald. As a child, the phrases that described him had soared right over my head: Maud’s one indulgence in an otherwise sober life; a philandering charmer; a ladies’ man who knew which side his bread was buttered. But this time he had been caught out. Hazel, it transpired, had been to her doctor on her day off and he had confirmed that she was expecting a child. She had come home to tell Gerald the news and ask him what she should do. That was the scene I had witnessed in the hallway. Gerald’s response, so he informed the police, had been to reassure her that he would take care of her. He told her to dry her eyes, go downstairs, and act as if nothing was wrong. Then he had ushered her towards the stairway and gone back into his room. His delay in appearing when the screaming began was, he insisted, only because he had been in the small lavatory that adjoined his study.

Aunt Maud, however, was unable to confirm that her husband had come into their suite since she had been in her own room and had left via the door into the far hallway. When my own innocent testimony had been added to the statement of the doctor, along with another damning account from Hazel’s best friend, who knew all about the affair, the police drew their own conclusions: that Gerald had indeed comforted Hazel and directed her to go downstairs, but when he ushered her to the stairway, he had followed and pushed her to her death. It had been a callous, brutal crime to cover up his indiscretion. Aunt Maud, the article stated, had been stoic at the trial. Her only comment after it ended was: “His father was an irresponsible rake. I should have known better than to marry him. Blood will tell.”

When I read that last sentence, I knew that the writer had not invented my aunt’s callousness, for I remember my mother telling my stepfather how Maud used those words to dismiss anyone who failed to live up to her rigid expectations. My mother had a temper that could blaze instantly if something upset her, but once over, the quarrel would be forgotten. However, Aunt Maud’s unwavering calm concealed a cold fury that boded ill for anyone who had caused her grief. Censoriousness was in my aunt’s nature, and once Gerald had so publicly let her down, she had no qualms about letting him pay for his folly. The jury only took an hour to return with their verdict. And still protesting his innocence, my uncle went to the gallows.

I remember feeling a deep sorrow when I read the article and realized what had happened. Although I had only distant memories of those early years, somehow the figure of my uncle was associated with happiness and pleasure. Something of his personality must have been firmly imprinted on my mind, for two years later, I broke my engagement to the bank clerk and married a handsome airline pilot who had the same sparkling eyes and sense of fun as my uncle. Like Maud, I was to discover later that, for all that my husband could inspire passion in me, he was able and willing to inspire it in others as well. However, I was more like my mother than my aunt, and forgiveness was in my nature. Unlike Maud and Gerald, we had managed to weather the one really rough patch that had threatened our marriage and we had soldiered on until cancer claimed my husband in late middle age.

I took a deep breath, suppressed the wave of memories, and brought my mind back to the present. There was a condition to my inheritance that had to be met, and the sooner I dealt with it, the sooner I could sell Craigdarroch and guarantee myself a comfortable old age back in Ottawa where I belonged. The solicitor had informed me that Maud had arranged for her papers and diaries to be left for me in the study, and my task was to collate and catalogue these before donating the files to the historical society.

The study was at the back of the main floor, overlooking the water, although when I entered, I saw that the drapes were closed, blocking what would be a stunning view in daylight. The room smelled musty, which was hardly surprising given that the boxes piled in the corner contained diaries and letters from ten decades. There were eight large boxes, a lot of work to be sure, but not an overwhelming task. Some of it might be quite interesting, though much was probably dry company records. I estimated that the task would take me at least two weeks, but no more than four. I would not stay at the house, though. My hotel was comfortable and far more cheerful. I would come in each morning and work through the day, treating Craigdarroch as no more than an office. I would start tomorrow.

I turned to go, but my eyes lit on Maud’s desk and I saw an envelope there with my name on it. This I could examine before leaving. I picked up the envelope and opened it. Inside was another envelope, addressed to Maud but with a handwritten note along the lower edge: This was your mother’s last letter to me. With a thrill of curiosity mixed with an underlying sense of disquiet, I pulled the letter from the envelope and started to read.

Now that I have so little time left, I have to let you know the truth of what happened all those years ago, for the events of that terrible day have haunted me all my life. Dear Maud, you were always so good to me, and how I let you down. I know you think me selfish, but you are so strong and cannot understand the frailty of someone like myself. It was kind of you to provide a home for us after my husband was killed in action, and I had wanted it to work out for us all. I hadn’t meant to fall in love with Gerald, but it was as if a fever had taken hold of me. I couldn’t resist him, but even though our affair started soon after I moved in with you, we took every precaution to ensure that no one else knew and that you never found out. I truly believed that Gerald was as helplessly in love as I was, but, of course, I was every bit as vain as that foolish young nanny whose head was already being turned by his flattery. Gerald’s interest in me waned, at first imperceptibly, but I could tell things were not the same. By Christmas Eve, I was certain that he had transferred his affections to her, and when I saw through the open kitchen door that he had followed her up the back stairs, I resolved to go after them. Martha had gone to the coach house, so no one saw me leave the kitchen. I went quietly up the back stairs and when I reached the landing, I paused, for I could hear their voices in the hallway.

Maud, he told her he was intending to leave you. I heard him assuring her that they were going to be together for always. If I had been thinking rationally, I would have known that he was only trying to buy time, for in retrospect, I realize that however charming Gerald was, he was utterly unscrupulous. But I didn’t think. I was consumed with rage, furious that he would leave you, not for me, but for that silly young girl who was going to bear his child. I was mad with jealousy and hated Hazel with the core of my being. At that moment, I could have killed them both, but by the time I came into the hall, Gerald had stepped back into his room and closed the door. Hazel was approaching the stairway, and in a blind rage, I hurried after her and shoved her as she reached the top of the stairs. The moment I had done it, I was horrified, but frightened too. I ran to the back stairs and rushed down. I heard George screaming and knew I had to come into the front hall, for it would look strange if I ignored his cries. As I passed the kitchen, Martha came through from the back door and followed me down the passage. She assumed I had come from the kitchen, and we both hurried over to settle George down. You were already there checking to see if there was anything that could be done for Hazel, but even as you called for the ambulance, I think we all realized that she was gone. Will you ever forgive me, Maud? If you do so, it will mean you have forgiven yourself, for you could have saved him. If you had told the police that you had seen Gerald enter your suite before that first terrible scream, Hazel’s death would have been declared an accident. But I think your anger was as great as mine, and we both let him go to his death. Will you forgive me, Maud? I wonder if it is in your heart to do so.

With trembling fingers, I returned the letter to its envelope and tucked it inside the one addressed to me. I knew the answer to my mother’s final question. Maud had never forgiven her. My aunt’s response had been to reveal the truth to the one person my mother would have wanted to remain in ignorance. Knowing how my aunt calculated everything in dollars and cents, I realized that my legacy was her perverted way of compensating for the body blow she was delivering to my peace of mind. However, it had been left for me to decide whether or not my mother’s crime would be made public. I was in charge of the records. I could exonerate my uncle at the expense of my mother’s memory, but only if I wanted to do so. It was my choice. On the one hand, a gift; on the other hand, a mean little goad to twist my conscience and punish me for my own role in the events all those years ago. I had been too young to be blamed, but still a little rancor would have lingered, and after all, I was my mother’s daughter.

The pain gripped my side again and I took a deep breath, willing it to subside. I knew I had to get out of the house. I would call for a cab once I was on the street. My hand was still shaking as I flicked off the study light and stepped through to the hall.

The moon had come up, and a pallid beam filtered through the sidelight by the front door. The shaft washed out the golden circles of the sconces and cast a garish streak of yellow on the edge of the Benares brass umbrella stand before alighting on the tessellated floor where Hazel had fallen seventy years ago.

Determined to escape the oppressive miasma that permeated the house, I went out the front door and locked it behind me. Then, still breathing slowly, I walked down the flagstoned pathway. The pain was gradually subsidizing, and I stopped for a moment to look up at the moon. Its pale face was creased into a crooked, ironical smile, and as I stood there, quietly staring upwards, the ache in my chest ceased. I suddenly realized that I was still clutching the envelope. I opened my handbag, slipped it inside, and firmly closed the clasp. My mother’s secret would remain with me.

With my spirit finally calmed, I walked out onto the street and was warmed by the friendly blaze of Christmas lights from the adjacent homes. I took my cell phone from my handbag and called for a cab. Then I turned my back on Craigdarroch and waited for my taxi to arrive. Aunt Maud had shaken my peace of mind with her strange legacy, but I was beginning to realize that she had also delivered a release.

My charming but flagrantly unfaithful husband had only once allowed his liaisons to jeopardize our marriage. Our Hazel had been a neighbouring divorcée who used our children’s friendship as an excuse to book an adjoining campsite for three consecutive years when we took our annual holiday. She had smiled sweetly and pretended to be my friend, while all the time continuing a torrid liaison with my husband. I had struggled with feelings of guilt ever since I had given way to an impulse borne of rage and jealousy and pushed her into the turbulent waters of the Sydenham River, but now I felt a kind of absolution. My act was somehow predetermined and beyond my control.

Maud had been right when she had said that blood will tell. I was her living proof. I was my mother’s daughter, in all her strengths and weaknesses — and my mother’s ghosts from Christmas past had finally laid my own ghosts to rest.